​"Take a deep breath and close your eyes . . ."

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I wonder if we both met in an different time or place, would we still love each other? I sit next to Taehyung alone, waiting for Jimin's surgery to be over. I already visited Hoseok, who was still smiling brightly and hopefully even though he's in pain. I could tell when his hands started to twitch and he tried to cover it. Nini and Namjoon decided to stay with Hoseok and Suga. I end up just sitting here, waiting like always. "Hey Taehyung . . ."
"Hmmm?" He lazily turn his head to me.
"You know how you said that we're both the same?" I look up at the smooth white ceiling.
"Yeah . . .," he looks where I'm looking at. "You realized . . .we're the same".
"Yep . . . .," My eyes feel heavy, slowly closing by itself. I couldn't help but take a rest.

"Yah!" Someone nudge my sides, keep poking me. There was blanket on top of me, Hoseok's face pops in front of mines. I scream in horror. "WHAT THE HELL HOSEOK!?!"
"It's 1am man, you should rest in a guest room," He guides me up. I eye him in suspicious.
"Shouldn't you . . .be resting more than I do?" I pull his arm, dragging him to the hallway. "You fainted and should be tak---"
"Jungkook, you're tired," he pulls my arm back further down to the front desk. "I heard from Suga, how happy you were today. I know you didn't expect this . . .".
"I am just tired . . .," tears starts to form in my eyes. "But most of I'm scared everyday that he'll . . .". I couldn't stop crying at this point. All these what ifs made me so anxious. I knew this was going to happen. Hoseok pats my shoulder, trying to comfort me. But, I end up sobbing even more.

The pain in chest starts to cause my head to hurt. The pounding in my head starts to ring my ears loudly. I pull my knees closer to my chest, covering my ears. Why didn't I just die instead of him?! Why does he end up having the disease and I didn't?! I deserve to die. I never wanted to live in the first place. I wouldn't mind dying at all. The tears in my eyes start to distort my vision. That's it. I stand up angrily, Hoseok pulls my arm.
"Where the hell are you going Jungkook?!" I roughly smack his hand away from my arm and start sprinting. I can't do this anymore, God. Is this your way of punishing me? I end up outside of the parking lot. The sun is way too shiny today. I hate it.

I take a look of my twitching hands. I start to breath abnormally as if I'm having an anxiety attack. Maybe I am. My heart burns a whole lot. The pain makes me sink to my knees, I end up coughing until there's no tomorrow. Maybe there isn't a future. Cars start to honk at me, I start to laugh for some reason. Maybe I was just way too tired to the point where I just end up being hysterical. I breathe heavily, my head swaying lower. I try to make myself stand up again, but I end falling on the floor hard. I hear screams everywhere, people rushing to me. The darkness engulfing me once again.

I'm in my nightmare once again. The sea of pitch black waves making drown deeper and deeper to the unknown. I end up in standing in a void, there was a pla