"I couldn't handle you anymore"

​Namjoon POV

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​The darkness engulfs me into a void of unknown. I awaken in this dark place. Everything is pitch black. I'm trapped inside this void. This voice is telling me wake up. But I didn't. I fell deeper into the void. Then Taehyung appears in the void. His hair was brown instead of red like before. He looks at me, darkly smirking. The scars appear on his arms as he extends out his arms, I run to his arms. I reach his open arms, but he suddenly turns into specks of sparkling blue dust. I sink to my knees, my fingers reaching out to the blue dust.

A bead of sweat streams down my forehead as I sit up from a long nap. Just what the hell happened? I rub my right eye, yawning. I scan my surroundings, how the hell did I end up in the hospital? Why did Taehyung appeared in my dream like that?

I look at my phone to see at twenty missed calls from everyone. I couldn't help but smile, immediately my smile fades with blur memories flashes in my mind. Tears b in my eyes. I remember now . . .why I'm here. I was tired of living. I remembered seeing Nini telling me that she's going to help Jungkook face his problems. I'm glad for Jungkook going back to place he told me that he never belonged in. The day was normal, I just walk alone in the streets of Gwacheon. Window shopping, holding a mug of americano, and playing games of course. Yesterday was just a normal day for me. Just how the did everything fell apart?

I massage my temples. I remembering more of these faded memories of yesterday. I saw him . . .Seokjin. (A/N : Italic tells the past) Seokjin with another man, holding their hands together. His smile brightened with the stranger more than he'll ever be with me. Maybe I wasn't good enough. Maybe I was just there for his selfishness. What was weird was . . .I didn't cry but in my mind, I was just so done with him. With my life continuing this way. I'm just like a background character, I'm not even important to anyone. I'm never going to make it at life. This ing low self-esteem made me go to my apartment. Hurrying up, washing my face. I look at the reflecion, this stupid ing reflection.

One tear roll down from my left eye, when your tears roll down your left eye that means that you're crying because you're sad or frustrated. Maybe I was sad to see Seokjin happy with someone else. He's not even mentally stabled, I had to put up with him for three years. I love him. I love him so much. How could he do this to me? I took one too many hits of my cigarettes and too many pills. I lay there, my vision distorting. I'm broken and alone. Then my phone rings, I didn't answer. I didn't want to be a burden to my friends. I don't want to die at the same time . . . .

The tears fall down my cheeks, I hold my phone. I answer in a shaky voice. "H-hello . . .?"
"Namjoon? You okay?" Damn. I don't want to even imagine my friends faces seeing me like this.
"I'm fine, Hoseok . . .," but then my mind goes blank. No, I still need to be alive. Please God . . .give me another chance. . .

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I sigh deeply, remembering the reason why I'm here. I'm so ing patheic. I wasn't that important anyway. My friends are pr