Two Drags Kissing

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Two Drags Kissing by suzyelf

Your title is simple and pretty much sums up the story itself, though I have no idea what 'drags' mean but later on, you define the definition with a dialogue which I thought was pretty welled organized.

Summary/Description - 4/5

It was also welled organized to kind of sums up the whole title and the story. One dialogue and a curious state of what Jaehwan had done to become a 'drag queen.' These statment and quote was like the direct jackpot to me since you want readers to be curious of what you wrote and what you are going to write.

Story Layout*- 4/5

There are so many descriptions between settings and characters that made your writing style a heads up. To me, almost all of paragraph is plotted with conflicts in between the 'drag queen' and the life Jaehwan wanted. You're more of the 'showing instead of telling' style. Readers need imagination to be interests in stories you basically put that in your story.

Grammar/Spelling - 18/20

There only a few minor erros about comams and where to put them. I understand your mistakes since commas are the most known punctuation errors people have. But you don't want readers to stop every second because of the comma. That could ruint the flow and the mood in the story.

Story Plot/Flow/Description - 26/30

I honestly couldn't find the because I pretty much guessed what's going to happen next. Thought, tha

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CapriquariusMei
Calling myheartswishes, your review has been completed. Sorry for the wait!!

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snowflake16
#1
Chapter 54: Thank you, tyrhfjd, for the review! Picked up and credited! It's been a half century but it's here now so I'm not going to complain lol.
I'm glad you liked the story and I do agree with your points about the title and the confusion about 'Kris Leone' who in fact is not an OC but a real person in K-rock lol. I wanted to troll the hell out of readers by using 'Kris' xD
Thank you for your review. I enjoyed reading it :D
yuu_sama #2
Chapter 53: Dear, reviewer-nim ^^
Thank you very much for everything you have done. I deeply appreciate it. Actually I have been expecting that you would give this fanfiction very, very low score, but since you gave me higher than my expectation, I need to thank you once again. Well, I believe that reviewing my story was troublesome to you to some extent... I'm aware of how boring and badly-written it actually is, but thank you, you've worked hard to complete your review. And can I say that you point out everything PERFECTLY?? Your review is PERFECT, no doubt about it! I won't go against it either! Can I copy paste your review into my personal note, so I can use it for future revision?

About English, I've been learning it since 2006... and that's when I went to university. I always have the greed to know more and more about English, just because, yeah, I love English. It is like a door that leads me to the real, wide world. And through it, I can learn many things, new things I never know before. English is very helpful and I always encourage myself to learn it seriously, from books, movies, songs, everything! And I realize... "Six Drops to Ecstasy" is my experiment. It's more like the reflection of my will to learn English rather than a literature (hahaha, did I use the correct expression?). That's why, I've been thinking of starting all over again. Rewriting the story. Changing certain aspects of the characters. Simplifying my words. I need to do this, because I grow to love this story now and want to make it "more worthy to read as a literature work". For the sake of my six Sakamaki vampires, I'll never abandon this story... and yeah, because this is a tribute to Diabolik Lovers.

(OMG, sorry for my very bad English)
>//<
KnowRain
#3
Chapter 52: Thanks for the review! I'm glad you enjoyed it and thank you so much for pointing out my grammatical errors...I've been extremely lazy and haven't bothered to edit anything since i'm currently busy struggling through the last year of high school, and the one thing about grammar that I often get confused about is tenses so...thanks for that.
Anyway, will credit you right now! xD
suzyelf
#4
Chapter 5: Story Title: I Once Fell in Love
Story Link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/912472/i-once-fell-in-love-vixx-ravi-ken-jaehwan-raven-wonjae-raken
Genre(s): slice-of-life, romance
Main Character(s): Ken, Ravi
Brief Summary: Girls should be the ones who make Lee Jaehwan fall in love.
Preferred Reviewer: Rebel
Additional Comment (ie. main focus?): Thanks in advance! ^^
Password (See Description/Foreword if you don't know =D): call me baby - exo
mischievous_akmood
#5
Chapter 51: I saw my review, and thank you for the feedback ^^
EPIONE
#6
Chapter 46: Hello, sorry I'm really late, but thank you so much for doing the review.
Hm. Have you ever heard of the Peter Pan Complex? It does exist in some individuals. It's a complex against growing up. In the shoes of someone who's never struggle with a neuroses, the sentiments must have seemed forced. Ga, this just means I need to work harder on my writing skills to portray the complexes. Thank you for pointing that out. I think maybe I over-generalised the fear of growing up, because I did have that fear to the point that I couldn't sleep at night, and leading to other health problems. Perhaps not everybody is like that, but from personal experience, I didn't think it wasn't an exaggeration. STILL It's a comfort to know that not everybody has to struggle through that haha. Thank you.
Anyway, thank you for a different perspective on the story. It's despairingly interesting. Haha. I will be crediting this shop right now.
Love,
Epione
ByungHannie
#7
Chapter 27: May I just ask who did my review? I found her review very helpful and I want to put her username as a credit in my foreword ;)
snowflake16
#8
Chapter 5: Story Title: My Girlfriend the Cheater
Story Link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/921011/
Genre(s): romance, comedy and light angst
Main Character(s): Chanyeol, Kris, Hani
Brief Summary:
Chanyeol is the typical lover. From chocolate boxes, sweet kisses, and flowers; he’s ideal boyfriend material. Willing to do anything for love, and oversensitive when he needn’t be, he always does what he can to indulge Kris.
However, his beloved is a little bit different because in Kris’ picture there exists a Hani. Being close friends can sometimes come with unexpected consequences; there are things going on behind Chanyeol’s back.
How will he cope when Kris’ fidelity is brought into question?
Preferred Reviewer: tyrhfjd
Additional Comment (ie. main focus?): plot, characters, enjoyment, grammar, punctuation; basically the rubrics
Password (See Description/Foreword if you don't know =D): The End - Kris Leone
Thank you :D
queenxb
#9
Story Title: Star-crossed Killers
Story Link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/921931/
Genre(s): Romance, Angst(?)
Main Character(s): Kai x Kim Haera (OC)
Brief Summary: Kim Haera may look the part, but she’s definitely nothing close to an angel. Bred to have the hands of a killer and be the next heir of the Kim Empire, she stops at nothing to get what she wants. That is, until she meets the equally ruthless Kai, who is next in line to rule the Exo Clan. Feared by many and trained to be an emotionless, heartless killing machine, Kai rules with an iron fist. This is a modern twist on Romeo and Juliet & Mr. & Mrs. Smith where two lovers, born by rivalry fall in love.
Preferred Reviewer: any
Additional Comment (ie. main focus?): Punctuation & grammar
Password (See Description/Foreword if you don't know =D): Angel 2 Me - McKay ft. Jeff Bernat