LH is little Hwayoung.

Yongguk and I took care of LH for the next few days. Kyungsoo had to take care of a few paperwork in order to become LH guardian. He called her every day and made sure she was okay. Yongguk was being kind of like a father to her, he always spoiled her. We didn't talk about what happened on Christmas eve and I wasn't sure I wanted to talk about it. Kyungsoo came back yesterday and stayed with us. He was surprised to see how Yongguk treated her but was okay with it.

I noticed he was looking sad so I waited till Deahyun and Luhan took LH for ice cream so I could talk to Kyungsoo. We went to the study room and Yongguk joined us.

"What's with the face Kyungsoo? "

"I don't know what you're talking about.  I have the same face I've always had"

"He's right Hwayoung.  He has the same face"

"Wow you guys are funny. I mean why do you look so down"

"Well, apparently I can't become Hwayoung’s guardian. I don't have a job; well I do but I can't say I work full time as a gangster"

"Then get a job. What can you do?"

"If getting a decent job was so easy then he would already have one"

"Yongguk are you calling me stupid?!?"

" Damm Yongguk you should have kept your mouth shut"

"Shut up Kyungsoo. No I'm not calling you stupid, I'm just saying to think a bit-"

"So you're saying I don't think, which is in a way saying I'm stupid"

"No that's not what I meant I-"

"You're making it worst for yourself Yongguk so stop talking. Now Kyungsoo, I can help you get a job as a manager at a café shop. Kris told me you manage the things in the gang and you assigned the tasks that the guys have to do at certain times. I'll show you the shop tomorrow morning and teach you the things you have to do, and introduce you to everyone. It’s up to you though"

"That would be great. But how will I get the job, I don't have a job record and what about an interview"

"I know what you can do and I'm positive you can do this job"

"Don't I have to talk to the owner of the café? "

"You already are"

Kyungsoo had the cutest lost expression I've seen so far, and Yongguk looked like an old grandpa who had a bad day. "Wait, you own a café and you never told me?"

"You never asked, I thought you would after seeing the bills about rent. After all I own this house so obvious I'm not renting it. Anyways, the café is not too far from here. It’s by our school actually, and if you plan to take care of LH she can't live in the hideout. There are a few places for rent close to there and there's a great school a couple blocks away. Think about it, tell me tomorrow what you want to do. Wake up early so we can go to the café" 

They guys came back not long after and we all start packing to go to the orphanage.  LH wanted to play with her friends and Kyungsoo wanted to make her happy. Yongnam and Jongup brought fireworks. Lily and I were in charge of the decorations. Kyungsoo, Himchan, and Zelo had the food cover. Everyone else was doing their own little thing. 

As soon as we got there the little kids came running towards us and took LH away to play. Ajumma was glad to see everyone happy and she even helped us decorate the place. It took a while but in the end we convinced her to let the kids stay up till after midnight. I thought I saw a few guys in uniform watching us but when I looked again they were gone. I had a bad feeling but right now I can't pay attention to it.

while everyone was playing and just hanging around I walked to the back of the orphanage to make a call.

"Yeoboseyo?"

"Dr.Lee. This is Ryu Hwayoung.  I just want to know about my sisters’ condition"

"Well, I didn't want to tell you but I see no harm in you knowing now. A few months ago your sister moved her fingers, then her whole hand"

"What? So does that mean she's going to wake up soon?"

"That was a few months ago. She hasn’t made a movement since then. I have done a few tests on her, I'm still waiting for the results. As soon as they come in I'll inform you"

"Thank you" 

There was nothing else that I needed to ask so we said goodbye. I sat on the grass and just started thinking of what will this year bring. On new year’s I would usually prepare for the worst but there haven’t been any attacks recently. Shane did send me an email, he found out that the person behind my attacks, and the death of Hana, is known as 'the skeleton'

I laid down for a while and just thought of everything in my life. I heard someone walking towards me, and then Luhan sat down next to me.

" I don't think I apologized for hurting you "

" You never hurt me, so no need to apologize"

"Yes I did. I hurt you emotionally. I could tell whenever your voice cracked. Just wanted you to know that I didn't mean to hurt you in any way.  I don't know what I was thinking, I don't think I was thinking in the first place"

Luhan looked so troubled, I could tell me was really sorry.

"Apology accepted. Just don't hurt me or anyone else"

"I'm in a gang. I'm gonna have to hurt someone eventually. But I promise not to hurt a girl in an emotionally way. I don’t usually apologize to anyone, but with you I feel something that I never felt before and I just can’t go on knowing that I hurt you in anyway. I won't break my promise like Yongguk has"

Luhan got up and left before I could hit him for saying that, I know he won't break his promise, I don't really know him but I can tell he’s a man of his word, like all of exo. I stayed by myself for a few more minutes before I decided to go play with the kids. Just as I came out of my hiding spot I was face to face with Yongguk.

"Hey, I was looking for you. Why were you hiding?"

"Sorry, I just needed some me time"

"About this morning-"

"I know you weren't trying to say I was stupid, so don’t worry about it"

"I also want to talk about what happened on Christmas eve"
I don’t know why but I faced the floor and started kicking the ground. I knew Yongguk would eventually want to talk about it, I was just wishing it wouldn’t be so soon.

"Can’t we talk about this when we aren’t surrounded by kids?"
Yongguk didn’t say anything, I finally looked up at his and he looked annoyed. He didn’t need to say anything for me to know that we were going to talk about it today, and right now.

"Fine. Come with me"
I walked back to the place I was in and sat back down.
"Okay, now talk"

"Why have you been acting different since then? I honestly don’t know why you’ve been acting like a towards me. I didn’t do anything wrong."

"I never said you did anything wrong"

"Good, because I didn’t. If you didn’t like what was happening, you could have just told me to stop"

"Well I tried"

"What?"

"Sorry. I guess I’m just not use to being with someone. The only person I have been close to is Hana and her brother. They have been my only friends, and now I have more friends this year that any other time in my life.

"Well you wouldn’t have that problem if you could have just been a little less nerdy and a little more likeable"

"More likeable huh?"
His words hurt me because I knew he was talking about Hyoyoung. It hurts to know what Yongguk thinks of her.

"So in order to be likeable I have to pretend that I’m dumb, and if I pretend that my brain is as small as a bird’s brain maybe I won’t get beat up by someone’s girlfriend while he stands there cheering her on. I have to be someone else so I can have friends? You know that I’ll be making fake friends"

"Thant’s not what I-"

"Stop. I think you said enough"
I got up and was about to walk away when I suddenly remembered something.
"If everyone still saw me as the nerd, would you have told everyone we were together?"
I didn’t hear a response from him. I finally came down from the clouds, and I was able to realize that Yongguk and I don’t share the same feelings

"Don’t judge me, Hwayoung. Either way I helped you. Try to walk in my shoes"

"I can’t imagine myself in your shoes"
We were facing each other again, and this time I kept my head up.
"I can’t imagine myself hurting someone who didn’t do anything wrong. I can’t imagine not helping someone who was being hurt by others because that person is different! I can’t imagine getting the whole school to hurt someone just because I didn’t like that person, or whatever. I can’t imagine making a person’s life so miserable that they would try to end their life!!!!"

I realized what I said as soon as I saw Yongguk’s face. It seemed as all the blood was drained from his face. Part of the secret is out. Yongnam is the only one who has seen me break down completely, and that won’t change today. I looked at Yongguk in the eyes, I let all my anger show. I let him see what I had to hide for so long.
"I can’t imagine being as horrible as you"
While I said those words I took the necklace I put my wedding rings and placed them in his hands. "No matter how hard I try I can’t imagine pretending to like someone because they changed on the outside" Yongguk was looking for his childhood friend because he likes her. I don’t know why he told me he loved me when obviously he just wanted to use me for pleasure. 

I left Yongguk standing there and walked to play with the kids. I put my feelings aside and made sure LH had a great time. I guess my acting is a little rusty because Kris handed me a tissue, he also told me hold my head high. Yongguk had finally gone out to play and his eyes were red. When our eyes met he looked so broken, maybe it’s because I finally realized the truth about him. 

The kids took a few naps, by the time we started counting down to midnight they were more awake then anyone.

10!

All the kids held hands and started swinging them. Ajumma joined them.

9!

Himchan hugged lily from behind.

8!

Zelo, Youngjae, and Jongup started jumping up and down.

7!

Kris and Suho made sure everyone was present.

6!

Tao and Sehun grabbed fireworks and started passing them around. 

5!

Luhan and Deahyun laughed at some joke Chanyeol made

4!

Beakhyun, Xiumin, and Chen started stuffing their mouth while lay took pictures of them.

3!

Kyungsoo and Kai grabbed LH and hugged her at the same time

2!

I looked around and noticed everyone was with someone except Yongguk and I.

1!

Yongguk and I locked eyes and he started walking towards me

"HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYONE!!"

I walked away from Yongguk and jumped on Luhan’s back.

We partied a bit more until the kids were tiered again. While I helped Ajumma getting the kids to sleep the others were cleaning outside.

"LH will be staying with her brother, he’ll bring her back in the afternoon"

"Okay, and child. Whatever happened between you and Yongguk shouldn't stop the two of you from being happy"

"I know we will be happy Ajumma, but maybe not with each other"

The ride home was silent, not even the radio was on. During the ride I decided to give Yongguk what he wanted. When we were in our room Yongguk kissed me and I didn’t stop him. I didn’t push him away when he got on top of me. I didn’t tell him I wasn't ready when he removed our clothes. I didn’t tell him I didn’t want to continue when he got something from the drawer. I held my cry when he was inside me. I held my tears when he started going faster.

I closed my eyes shut and gave him what he wanted. I let my mouth say what he wanted to hear. And when he was done and fell asleep, I let my tears out until I fell asleep.

 So I finally updated yay.

I hope this chapter isn't a disappointment. School starts next week but I already started writing the next chapter. The next few chapters a few questions will be answered but some answers will lead to more questions.

After I update the next chapter I will start writing more chapters for my other fanfic so again I wont update much.

thank you all for reading and thanks to those who subscribed and upvoted. 

Comment are always welcome  <33