I woke up in my deep slumber with a happy smile on my face. The first thing I saw the beam of sunlight coming from the window. The room was slightly dim, just the way I preferred my room to be. I was very happy that I was able to spend time with my girlfriend. and with that thought, I stretched a bit and looked at my side. My overly bright smile faded in disappointed. She wasn't there.

"Maybe she just went out to buy something" I told myself. With that thought, I laid in bed for a minute or two.

A couple of minutes have already passed and still, she was still out. 

"Strange", I thought.

Her things were no longer around when I looked around. The only thing I could conclude at that time was maybe she needed to go.  It wasn't like I was the only one who has a life. Being an idol is hard work but it doesn't mean she's not having a busy life herself. She is a trainee after all at SME.

I frown all the more as I accepted that my speculations were possibly correct. I searched around the room to see if she left me a note or something. Then my eyes caught a digital recorder by the table near the bed. Under it, there was a big box that looked like a container for something.

An uneasy feeling came over me. I can't explain it myself but my guts told me, this day would change my life.

I reached out for the recorder and pressed play.

The first thing I heard was,

"Mianhe....."

"Mianhe..."

Confusion was the first thing that hit me. Why would she say sorry? There was nothing she could have done wrong to be sorry about. She's still beside me and we were just happy a few hours ago.

Wait! I avoided to jump to that speculation. Ji Eun wouldn't do such thing. I know she wouldn't but then I was wrong as I listened to the rest of the audio message.

This time I could hear her trying to suppress her sobbing. "Mianhe", she said once again.

"You may not understand"

"But it is for the best"

"Don't look for me..."

"I'm breaking our promise"

"Smile for me, always"

"Forget me....."

"Move on as if I never existed..."

"Mianhe... "

"Saranghae" It completely broke me.

"Goodbye.... my Min"

‘My Min’ that was the first nickname she gave me. It was not as original as she wanted it to be but ‘my’ made all the difference.

When the message ended, it played a familiar song. Forget our memories by Xing.

It all came back to me. She had been trying to tell me all this time but I was ignoring the signs.

I was late for our date that time. The management was giving me and the rest of the group a hard time before giving us some slack. Work was always their first priority for us that sometimes it makes me want to quit. But still I have my dreams, I wouldn't let those incidents stop me. And so here I was running as fast as I could towards the company's rooftop. It was the only place where we could meet without the eyes of the public and the management. Even though I wanted to meet her someplace romantic, I can't because of the given circumstances. I was an idol and she is a trainee. Any romantic relationship with either a trainee or an idol is forbidden as stated in our contracts.

when I saw her sitting patiently on our secret meeting place as she listened attentively on her ipod. Her back was facing my direction but I could tell that she was alone in her own world. She didn't notice me until I had my face merely a few centimeters away from her.

A breeze blew and her eyes opened. She was looking straight at me with a serene smile on her face.

"Good evening Min!"It seemed that she got used to my surprise attacks. Still I wanted to try surprising her once in a while.

I whined playfully. "Couldn't surprise you anymore..." I sat beside her and rest my arm over her shoulders.

"You still could..." she paused for a moment. "But I doubt it would be anytime soon" She said them with a light trace of humour in her voice.

I wanted to be mad at her but looking at her smile, it seemed impossible for me to do so. Her smile always made me forget my anger. It was as if that smile of hers put me in some kind of spell that makes me forget what I was thinking at that time.

Like I said, I can't be mad with her smiling at me. All that I could do was smile back and sit humbly beside her.

She was still listening on something as she talked to me. I grew curious and grabbed one of her earphone and listened.

It was "Forget Our Memories" by Xing.

"Why would you listen to this?" I looked at her with my brow raised. "It's too sad. Change it"

"I like it" She ignored what I said. I pouted at her and yet she still ignored my request.

"He was letting her go even if it pains him" This time I was completely confused. It was so random for her to say those words.

"That's why I told you to change it. This is depressing. I don't want my Eunnie to feel down." I pressed my cheek on her cheek.

"I think if ever we will break up, this would be our song because the only reason we would be break up if one of us will let go. Too cliché to have a breakup song right? " she said it lightly but somehow it seems that there was a hidden message along it, as if she was already warning me of what was to happen of us.

"That will never happen to us, right? We will fight for each other. And I'll protect you no matter what" It was really childish of me to say those words but at that time I really believed we would be always together. I embraced her this time with fear of her randomness. It was very unlikely of her to speak too seriously even with that tone to make it funny.

Here I am now. Cold and alone in this once well-lighted room. I refused to believe that she had gone somewhere out of my reach. Wherever she is, I will find her.

My body led me to the bus stop without hesitation. I did not even bother to care about my disguise. I couldn't think straight All I wanted that time was to find her.

Minutes passed and still  no buses can be seen coming. My patience was coming to an end especially in this situation. I needed to see her. To make sure she was still around. To see that she did not leave my side. And to hope that she did not break my heart.

Without further weighing the risks, I frantically ran towards the city. 100 km away from Seoul but that distance never mattered. I want to see her again. Hold her.

I could feel my lungs giving out and yet I tried to ignore it. My body was disappointing me. In my mind, I know I could still run but my body could no longer endure the long distance I've been running. Fortunately, a cab passed by and I managed to call it.

Of course the driver somehow recognized me and I politely smiled at him even though I was in no mood to be well mannered.

I told him of JiEun's address as my lungs gasp for air.

The driver eyed me through the mirror. It seemed he was curious of my current condition. I closed my eyes and laid my head back. I needed some time to think but time wasn't on my hands. Time was slipping away.

And just then a call came and I looked at the screen. It said, "KiBum"

I answered, "Hello?"

Almost immediately a voice yelled ,"Yah! Minho Where are you? The manager is looking for you right now and he's looking very unhappy right now!" The way he yelled at me made my ears hurt. It was obvious that he was venting his frustration on me because our manager was venting his anger on him because of me.

"I can't come back right now...I'm going to JiEun" I said calmly. It was odd for me to be this calm especially when it Key yelling at me. Before when it was Key yelling at him, I can't seem to contain my temper and yell back.

"Bwoh?!"He was still yelling.

I gave a small sigh and explained to him. The cab was only a short distance away from her house. I heard him saying something to someone but I couldn't make out the words. I could hear Key passing the phone and then a voice spoke.

"Minho" He simply said. By hearing that voice, I knew who it was, our manager.

"Manager Hyung" I didn't know what to say. He knew my relationship with JiEun and warned us both about it.

"Go Back to the dorm" he ordered.

"I need to see-" All I could think at that time was Ji Eun.

"You won’t find her there" he cut me off.

He knows something. I automatically diverted my attention to him. "What do you mean?"I inquired.

"Go back to the dorm and I'll tell you"

This time I made no protest and ask the driver to go to my dorm. Our manager has some explaining to do.

As soon as the cab came to a halt. I quickly reached out for my pocket and gave him almost all the money I had on my jeans. I ran as fast as I could towards the dorm that I almost tripped. Good thing I regained my balance in the last second and continued running up to our unit. People inside the building looked curiously at me, probably wondering why I was such in a hurry.

Finally, I finally reached SHINee's unit and opened the door. I was panting and didn't have time to rest. I needed answers. Inside, I saw the rest of my members sitting on the couch like cornered puppies. At that point, I knew things weren't in good terms. Our manager was also in the room, approaching me with a serious look in his eyes.

Then I managed to breathe out, "Tell me where she is"

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