---

012: Chasing Nothing

 

---- Minho----

 

“Any news?” I asked my fellow band mate, Key.

 

Without looking at me, he replied with a single word. “Nope.”

 

His answer was disappointing. I was hoping that with his connection with Jinwoon, a member of 2AM, he would know something.

 

I was behind him when I frustratedly pressed from more information. “Come on! There has to be something!”

 

“2AM doesn’t know much about her except her close relationship with 2PM” Again, his  reply had no useful information about the girl from the hospital.

 

All they knew about her was that she was a dancer working for JYP Entertainment and she’s close with the idol group, 2PM. Other than her name, Hae Jin, there was nothing else.

 

She looked so much like Ji Eun that I couldn’t stop obsessing about her.

 

 

He remembered her expression when he came into the room, catching her off-guard.

 

Minho couldn’t erase her face in his mind.

 

“Anything else?”

 

Key sighed irritably before answering me. “As I said earlier, nothing.”

 

“There has to be.” I was literally hovering over him before I realized that I went too far. Key faced me and told me the hard truth that hit me hard.

 

Key suddenly turned around and pushed me hard. I staggered backward. “Quit it Minho! Stop obsessing over this girl! Are your brain cells fried to accept that Jieun is DEAD?!”

 

“Hyung!” Taemin gasped in shock.

 

“KIBUM!” Onew hyung warned him, but he was over caring. I can see in his eyes that I already broke his patience.

 

Key moved away from me and stood front of Onew hyung, challenging him.

 

“What? Are you letting him keep this up?!” He asked angrily as he faced our leader. “This has gone far too long! Somebody has to stop it!”

 

All those years being in the same house and spending our time together, this was the first time he had spoken to anyone so angrily.

 

No one spoke. Even I had my lips formed in a tight line. I could see our leader, wanted to say something but he remained silent.

 

Key had a point. I had lost my rationality because of someone who looked like her.

 

I could only look at them in silence.

 

Both of them looked straight on each other’s eyes and refused to look away.

 

“We already talked about this KIBUM” Onew hyung hissed his name as he tried not to anything physical to Key.

 

I could see his hands shaking. It was a sign that he was nearing his limit.

 

Onew hyung is an understanding leader but there is an end to his patience. There had been a couple of occasions where we had seen him lose control. When he gets mad, he was very threatening.

 

Seeing our leader made no attempt to stop him, Key turned his attention to me.

 

“Better put this in your head CHOI MINHO… JIEUN is dead and she won’t come back!”

 

He left the room, slamming the door loud.

 

“I’m really pathetic aren’t I?”

 

It was quiet for a moment, before Jonghyun hyung came back from his daily visit to the gym.

 

He was all smiles when he came in and greeted us cheerfully. It took him a second before realizing the odd atmosphere in the room.

 

“What happened?” Jonghyun hyung asked, looking confused.

 

“Nothing Hyung…” I assured the him in an almost whispered tone.

 

----- HAEJIN ------

 

I watched myself and listened to the music as I danced along with it.

 

“One..two..three…four…five…six…seven…eight…oh shoot!”

 

I lost count on how many times I had made a mistake on the new dance routine. My body was already glistening with sweat and I was panting. Even after a dozen tries to commit the steps to memory, I always get the middle part wrong.

 

It was a lot more complicated than I expected. I really wanted to get everything right. This was the last time I will be dancing for 2PM.

 

As soon as I signed under Dream Entertainment, I was supposed to quit from dancing as 2PM’s backup dancer. I only begged JYP to let me dance for the last time with them on the stage and he agreed to give me one last opportunity.

 

I sat down on the floor as the music continued playing. My hands brushed upward from my cheekbones up to my hair until I fisted them as I expressed my frustration.

 

“Problems?”

 

A voice coming from the door made me look behind and saw Nichkhun sunbae and Wooyoung sunbae standing side by side.

 

“Just a stubborn foot, refusing to cooperate. It’s nothing serious.” I assured them.

 

“Take a rest. Maybe that’s why you can’t get it right. You need to relax even for a couple of hours.” Nichkhun told me in which I took in mind.

 

He had a point.

 

I had been practicing without rest and I can feel my body screaming for a rest.

 

“So… why is the famous “KHUNYOUNG” couple here?”

 

Wooyoung scrunched his nose at the couple name. “We had a couple of hours of free time and decided to visit you. And please stop calling us ‘that’”

 

I couldn’t help but laugh at how Wooyoung sunbae addressed their couple name. They were the famous coupling in the group and it was interesting to refer to them that way.

 

Nichkhun joined in the fun and teased me and his friend. “Sorry Haejin but he’s not interested in me. He’s supposed to be your boyfriend.”

 

It was my turned to express my distaste. He was nothing more than a brother to me and he in return thinks of me only as a sister.

 

“Eew.” Both me and Wooyoung exclaimed.

 

We all laughed at the silliness of the conversation. It took some time to calm ourselves.

 

“Come on Haejin we’re gonna grab some food and relax. Nichkhun hyung found a restaurant that gives privacy to their customers. It’s the perfect place to relax.” Wooyoung tried to convince me.

 

I looked at Nichkhun who was also urging me to come with them.

 

I sighed and thought it might be a good idea.

 

--------------------------

 

Just like what Wooyoung promised, the place was perfect for people wanting privacy. The food was delicious and the restaurant has a rooftop café for people wanting to relax and have a view of the city.

 

As we were chatting, I noticed someone familiar from the corner of my eyes.

 

His unconventional hairstyle gave his identity away. It was Key.

 

My heart pounded hard at the thought he might recognize me but I remembered that I came out as Haejin. I was no longer Jieun, the friend they now considered friend.

 

I stopped listening and turned my attention to him.

 

It was also odd that he was eating alone. I had never seen him eat at a place like this alone. He’s a very social person. Back when I was still Jieun, he would usually invite me to eat with him. As far I could remember, the time he eats alone was when he’s in a fight with someone.

 

A part of the old me wanted to comfort him but I knew this was impossible. I was close to be a stranger to him.

 

“What are you looking at?”

 

Wooyoung and Nichkhun looked at where my attention was.

 

“Isn’t that Key?” Wooyoung asked as he took a big bite of his dessert.

 

“I think so.” I said, though I was pretty sure it was him. No matter how he looked, I could recognize him just like the rest of his group.

 

Nichkhun got off his seat and approached Key before I realized what he was doing.

 

I watched sunbae talk to him and moments later he called a waiter and whispered something. Key stood and accompanied Nichkhun towards us.

 

Apparently, my friend invited him to eat with us. I turned my head towards Wooyoung, who looked unconcerned about the addition in our group and continued eating. There were times where I wonder if Chansung’s eating habits were infectious.

 

For a moment I forgot about my old friend, Key. My companions had to shake me a little to return to reality. That was when I saw Key staring at me.

 

His expression almost mirrored the one Minho wore when he saw me at the hospital.

 

I don’t know what to do except do what my instincts told me.

 

I smiled and this broke his trance. Nichkhun was watching him with a smile on his face as he knew the truth about me.

 

“I’m sorry for staring. You just remind me of someone.” He apologized quickly and sat on the empty seat that was conveniently beside mine.

 

“I know.” I said and directed my eyes on my food. It hurts knowing they still care about me and I was here lying about the truth.

 

Wooyoung took this moment to join conversation. “She’s familiar because she’s the one that saved Minho’s life.”

 

He received a hard whack on the head from Nichkhun that almost sent his face smashed to his food. “Stupid. He knows that.”

 

Wooyoung glared at his hyung and sneered and then went back to eating his food.

 

The atmosphere felt awkward after that and all of us ate our food in silence.

 

After eating we decided to hang out at the café situated at the rooftop.

 

Mostly it was Nichkhun and Wooyoung who spoke with Key. I tried to avoid any conversation with him. Honestly, I don’t know what to say.

 

“Who are you?” Key suddenly asked me.

 

He startled me. I paused for a moment before answering politely.

 

“Park Haejin. And you’re Kim Kibum aka. Key”

 

“Yes I am.” He chuckled. I watched him and from the way his eyes were moving, there was something bothering him. He was my friend and I knew him well to discern that habit of his when he’s itching to say something.

 

“I know this question might be rude but I’m still going to ask you…” He paused waiting for my reaction.

 

I laughed a bit at his frankness. I miss that personality of his.

 

I nodded, urging him to continue.

 

“Minho told me that you told him you are related to Park Jieun, his girlfriend a few years ago. Is that really true?”

 

My body stiffened at the mention of his name but I acted unaffected. Even my former name almost brought back memories of things I preferred buried.

 

I reminded myself that the past no longer mattered. It was done.

 

Key was watching me intently, waiting for my answer.

 

My lips curved to an almost smile to the truth he will not discover, as my eyes lowered a bit.

 

“Jieun and I are twins. She was older.”

 

“Oh.” He let out a sad smile. “That explains the strong resemblance.”

 

As far as they knew, I had no sister. He must be disappointed that I can’t help myself but explain myself in a way that it lessen the pain.

 

“She didn’t mentioned me, did she?”

 

“She didn’t.”

 

“It wasn’t her fault.” I took a sip of a tea, I ordered even after the meal earlier. “Something happened to her. There was an accident where she got hurt because of me. I run away from home and that was when I found out that she forgot about me.”

 

Kibum didn’t speak but listened.

 

“I think she didn’t want to remember what I did.” I said this in an almost whisper.

 

A lie. It hurt to lie in front of a friend.

 

“She was a great friend and I’m happy to have met her. I wished you were able to meet her again.”

 

“I was able to meet her before-” I couldn’t say the word accident.

 

“We reconciled that same day and I promised to follow them to Japan as soon as possible. But, our happiness was short-lived.”

 

Jieun was truly happy when we last saw each other. There was hope in our eyes as our family was going to be complete again. Unfortunately, our dream never came true. I lost my family.

 

“I’m sorry for bringing it up.” He offered his handkerchief to me.

 

I didn’t realize that a tear fell from my eyes. I gratefully took it and wiped the tear.

 

“There’s no need to apologize. I’m happy to meet someone who knew my sister.” I managed to smile, assuring him.

 

“I remember her being so alive and cheerful. There was never a day when her presence constantly give me and my friends a smile on our faces. Even Minho shines when she’s around.” A smile broke his face as he described me.

 

He mentioned him again. I couldn’t resist to ask about him.

 

“Could you tell me about her boyfriend?”

 

He didn’t think my request weird and happily obliged.

 

“Minho. You know him as a rapper of our group. He’s the one you saved back then.”

 

I nodded.

 

“He was shy among stranger but quite a playful person to his closest friends. I used to remember him being childish during one fight with Jieun. He was whining like a baby about how he missed her. That time, Jieun ignored him for a whole week and we had to suffer for it.”

 

He laughed at the memory. I also remembered that fight with Minho. We were arguing about his insistence to having me by his side every time I get a break. I got fed up and punished him for being too clingy.

 

My lips went to a curve until Key started to relay what happened after the accident.

 

“When she died…” His voice changed. There was a trace of sadness in it. “We were shocked, especially him. He lost it and went to depression. He lived like an empty shell for months. We thought he wouldn’t be able to recover. Our group went on hiatus and was in danger of disbanding. It was through her last message for him that woke him up. But Jonghyun had to punch him to jerk him out of the trance.”

 

“Now, he’s doing great… I guess. He’s already grieved but he wasn’t over her. He stopped dating and now that you’re here, he’s-”

 

“He thinks I’m the girlfriend he lost.” I finished for him. I lowered my face, to hide my expression. I forced myself not to hope.

 

“Yeah.” He admitted reluctantly.

 

“Have you tried to convince him, I’m not her.” My voice was almost pleading.

 

Key was surprised by the way I spoke. I sounded like the Jieun he knew before.

 

He sat unmoving from his seat for a moment and spoke. He seemed to brush off what happened as a coincidence.

 

“We had a fight about it and I may have spoke to harshly.”

 

“I see.” I was in no right to elaborate. Key had said enough and I didn’t push it.

 

The rest of the conversation was light.

 

Key asked me little of the past and started to talk to me like a friend. Nichkhun and Wooyoung also joined in the conversation and we seem to forgot about the serious talk that happened.

 

At 11 in the evening, we all decided to call it a night. We all said our goodbyes.

 

“It was nice meeting you. I hope we can talk again soon.” Key said after exchanging numbers with me.

 

“I’m sure we will. I probably be visiting your company soon for a collaboration.”  I smiled.

 

Key took a cab first and then Nichkhun and Wooyoung dropped me off at the new dorm provided for me.

 

There was no one else but me who lived there. My manager was still out for an errand and I still got a month before my real schedule begins.

 

I took a shower to freshen up and checked my mail for messages.

 

There was one and it came from my manager, Alex.

 

Haejin,

 

Your first schedule will be with a meeting tomorrow in SM for your collaboration with one of their idols.

Be prepared and get lots of rest. I’ll tell you the rest of the details on the way to the meeting.

 

My old dream was beginning to be a reality.

 

It was a scary feeling.

 

From then on, nothing will be certain but I’m sure it will a rush. Nothing will be the same.

 

-----

 

I got a lot of rest and woke up before 8 am.

 

My manager, came by the dorm around 8:30 and I ate breakfast on the way to SM’s main building.

 

Alex also told me the details about the collaboration.

 

He said that it was with a male idol and it would be a duet.

 

He didn’t say who the idol was but he was popular.

 

By 10 am, I was waiting at a conference room inside SM’s building and waited for the other idol who I would be working with.

 

We waited for a couple of minutes until the door in the conference opened and I saw three figures entering.

 

Sooman was the first who entered and I greeted him with respect and cheerfulness in my voice.

 

After my greeting, that was when I saw Onew.

 

It turns out I was going to sing a duet with him entitled, “One year later”. It would be a promotional song for me.

 

“It’s nice to meet you, Onew-sunbae” I greeted him.

 

He turned his attention to me and greeted me with the same awkwardness. “Nice to meet you too, Haejin.”

 

His eyes was the same smiling ones as I remembered. I couldn’t help myself but laugh as the memories of his weird antics surfaced in my mind.

 

Then, the same weird look he had when serious was plastered on his face and I laughed harder.

 

The others started to laugh with me too when they saw Onew’s face. Even Sooman, was laughing a bit.

 

Onew’s face turned red as he started to get embarrassed.

 

“I’m sorry sunbae for laughing.” I said between breathless laughs with my hands clutching my stomach.

 

“It’s okay.” He said. His face still red but he was smiling.

 

As soon as everyone was back to their normal selves, we went back to business.

 

Onew and I were to record the song after two days and we were given this day to practice.

 

We were left alone in a practice studio.

 

Onew was standing beside me and were quiet, unable to look at each other.

 

“Uhm… this is awkward.” I commented.

 

“yeah.”

 

We looked at each other and started to laugh.

 

“So… how’s Key and Minho-sunbae? I heard they had an argument.” I casually asked.

 

“Who told you?” He was surprised that I knew.

 

“Key and I met last night. He was alone eating and I was with Nichkhun and Wooyoung. We invited him to eat with us.” I explained.

 

“Ah…” Onew nodded in understanding and answered. ”They’re still not speaking to each other but they’ll be okay within a week.”

 

Another quiet moment.

 

“So… you’re related to Jieun.” This time he let his curiosity known.

 

“Yes.” I answered with one word.

 

He seemed satisfied with my answer and didn’t question me anymore.

 

We started to practice and he gave me tips to about my voice cracking at the high notes.

 

It was exhausting but fun. I learned a lot and it felt great to feel as if I was still the Jieun he knew.

 

The day of the recording came and I was happy to work with Onew.

 

He was still the warm leader I knew. When I came in the recording room, he was recording his part.

 

It was my first time in a recording studio and the atmosphere was a lot more serious than I expected.

 

2PM told me the night before that the first time was always the scariest since it was overwhelming in the beginning. They assured me that when I get the hang of it, things will just flow naturally.

 

I listened to Onew’s turn.

 

His voice was gentle and full of emotion.

 

They can move even a heart of ice.

 

I always admired Onew’s ability to sing and convey emotions even when I was still Jieun.

 

Even now, I’m still awed at his skill.

 

The music stopped which meant he was finished for now. I saw him took the headset off and smiled and thanked the staff. He smiled at me when he saw me and patted my shoulder saying, “Good luck”.

 

I almost forgot.

 

It was my turn. My heart started thumping harder.

 

I suddenly felt queasy and nervous.

 

The sound engineer motioned for me to go inside the booth. I almost hesitated because of my fear but it was something I must do.

 

I meekly went inside and put on the headphone. I was unsure about everything but I put on a positive attitude.

 

My first try was a total fail but everyone was patient with me since it was my first time. In the beginning, my voice kept shaking. It took us a couple of tries before I finally got the hang of it.

 

After my part, we continued with the real duet part.

 

Onew was now with me inside the booth.

 

This time, I was more confident and sang a lot better.

 

My voice surprisingly complemented Onew’s voice. It wasn’t too strong nor too soft. Our voice was just right.

 

“You did great Haejin!”

 

“Thank you Onew-sunbae.” I replied politely.

 

He smiled fully and I can’t help myself but blush. I’ve known him before but still, he’s still as charming as any cute idol out there.

 

We began to talk first about music and then it suddenly turned to any topic we could think of. Both of us were having so much fun with each other that we didn’t hear anyone approaching.

 

I was all smiles at Onew when we heard someone clearing their throat.

 

We stopped and turned to see our managers looking all too amused at us.

 

I blushed harder when I realized that I was flirting.

 

I mentally scolded myself. He’s an old friend and friends don’t flirt.

 

“Alex…” I bit my lip and approached my manager.

 

Onew looked as embarrassed as I am when he went to his manager. He showed me a shy smile before looking back at his manager.

 

I kept my head down and avoided eye contact with my manager. It was so embarrassing to be caught off guard in the most natural moments.

 

We said our goodbyes to Onew and his manager.

 

I followed Alex inside the car without a word. He did the same until we stumbled to a traffic.

 

“Is there something going on with you and Onew?”

 

I knew it. He was suspecting. My eyes went wide at him and frantically replied. “Alex! We just met. I just had fun talking to him and got-”

 

“googly-eyed?” He suggested.

 

I glared at him. “I do not get googly-eyed at anyone! I just got carried away. He just reminded me of a friend I used to know.”

 

He laughed.

 

“It better be nothing more than mutual friendship. You’ve just started in the business. Scandals will only destroy you at your current level.”

 

“I know that.” Everyone in the industry knew that fact. I wasn’t going to let a scandal destroy this opportunity.

 

“Good. Let’s get you home.”

 

When I got back at my dorm, I felt the exhaustion catching up to me.

 

“And I was just starting in the industry” I made a comment to myself.

 

Sleep came easy as soon as my head hit the pillows.

 

---

 

I thought I have already posted this chapter but it turns out that I haven't....

I was in the middle of making the next chapter when I realized it...

I was like... OH MY GOD?!!!

HEHEHE...

When I was making this... all I could think about was how should I let Minho and Haejin meet formally...

even now... I'm not sure...

probably through a friend... guess who... ^^

Thanks for reading and tell me what you think ^_^