009: Dreaming

----MINHO----

I dreamt.

I was in the same beach where I last spent my moments with her.

She was sitting near the shore while I was a couple of feet away from her. Her hair was still the long and black as the darkest night and I would recognize it anywhere.

I was standing barefoot, feeling the tiny grains of sand up to my ankles. It was warm on my skin while the breeze told me otherwise. I almost believed that it was real except that Jieun was there, up to my reach. I know that for a fact that it wasn’t reality anymore.

Slowly, I made my way towards her. All I could see was her back and she didn’t move to look at me. I know she knows that I’m there, when she was alive I could never surprise her.

Before I could reach out to her, she spoke.

“Minho” Hearing my name coming out from , sounded music to my ears. How I longed for her to utter my name all these years. Even if it’s just a dream, I would take it. If this is the only way, I’ll take what I can.

I love her voice but it disturbed me that it was the same voice I heard from the hospital.

I violently shook my head to erase the thought that came to my mind.

“Jin… I missed you so much.” The last words came out in a sob. I couldn’t control myself and hugged her from behind as I rested my head on her shoulder.

No matter how much I wanted to see her face, there was fear that if I look she wouldn’t be Jieun. I don’t want her to disappear. Even in borrowed time, I want to spent all the time that I can with her.

Whether it may be a dream. A nightmare. An illusion. I don’t care. All I care is to be with her.

I might as well be crazy but I don’t care. I LOVED-NO LOVE HER. I ALWAYS WILL.

She didn’t say anything and comforted me in silence. Her hands were over mine and they felt warm and real.

It made me cry more, knowing she wasn’t real. She was far too gone.

-----

I woke up with tears flowing from my eyes. One of the members, Key-hyung woke me up and asked why I was crying.

Instead of speaking up, I cried in silence and he watched me.

Before I knew it, I fell asleep again.

The next time I woke up, the first thing that came to my mind was the red-haired dancer. She looked too much like Jieun and I wanted to know why.

I know she was hiding something and I wanted to know.

But before I could, she was gone.

“She’s not there.” Onew hyung said to me when he returned after asking him to check the girl in that room.

For some reason, she didn’t stay long. She was released from the hospital and I ran away from her without the answers I am asking myself right now.

Stupid Stupid me.

I almost cursed out in frustration. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I should have stayed. I even lost track of my reason why I went to her yesterday. My feelings were so caught up in my emotions that I couldn’t think straight.

Who would think that it was even possible? Dead coming back to life.

I unconsciously shook my head furiously for thinking such a thing. Maybe I have gone crazy.

When I touched her, it felt like Jieun was back. I really thought with all my heart and soul that she came back. For me.

It might be self-centered thinking, but it was what I felt. Even after all those years without her, my feelings remained unchanged. In fact, I think it has gotten stronger. Would this mean that it had grown to obsession? Am I really losing my mind?

Yesterday, I managed to slipped away from my co-members. Our manager was getting some food and they fell asleep while keeping watch on me. Our schedules were still the same, and the exhaustion was catching up to them.

It was easy to get pass them. They were deep in sleep when I went to visit the dancer who saved me. I just wanted to thank her and when I saw her face, I forgot what I was thinking. All that mattered was what I was seeing.

Her face was the same as Jieun and yet she denies being her. She told me that Jieun was her sister.

The only reason that they have same face is that they were twins, but Jieun never told me about having any sister.

Knowing Jieun, it was impossible to believe she had a sister. The Jieun I know told me that she was an only child. But, there was no reason to lie.

“What’s wrong Minho? You have been acting weird lately. You were crying when you came back yesterday.” Our leader, Onew hyung grabbed my attention.

Once again, I got lost in my thoughts because of her. As he said, I’ve acting strange. They saw me crying and the only times they saw me cry that much was when it concerns Jieun. It’s been awhile, the last time I cried and lost myself.

“Do you think Jieun would lie to me about this?” My eyes were directed at the ceiling.

“What do you mean hyung? We don’t follow-” Taemin asked me.

I sighed. I realized I wasn’t making any sense. I was asking questions they were clueless about.

“For goodness sakes! Just tell us what’s wrong!” Key hyung yelled at me. Typical him. He was never the type to have the patience for suspense.

Slowly, I raised my head an looked each one of them on the eye and started.

“I saw Jieun”

All of them stopped moving and the only noise I heard for awhile were the sounds coming from outside. I expected this reaction. Even after all those years that losing Jieun, I was always reluctant to open up when it concerns Jieun. I’ve always tried to stir it into another direction. My co-members never questioned my actions and respected me. They were surprised that I even started to talk about her. She has always been a sensitive topic.

“You what?!” Jonghyun’s eyes had gone weird since the other eye was bigger than the other.

“Is that why you came back, crying?” Onew hyung asked. I nodded in return. He was referring to the time I sneaked out and then returned crying until I fell asleep.

“I thought I did, but then Khun hyung called her Haejin.”

“Isn’t that the name of the JYP dancer?” Taemin remembered.

“Now you got us confused. What does Jieun got to do with the dancer.” Key-hyung raised up one of his hand and looked at me seriously clueless about where I was heading.

“They look the same.”

“OKAY. NOW YOU’RE OFFICIALLY CRAZY” Jjong-hyung exclaimed. He knew about my feelings about Jieun but I guess this was officially out of this world.

When he said I was crazy, I got offended. I know that this wasn’t the first time I had my moments about Jieun, but if I wasn’t serious I wouldn’t have talked about it.

“If you don’t believe me, ask the 2PM hyungs for a picture. You’ll see what I mean.” My voice rose and made a ‘hmmp’ like a child.

“Don’t think I won’t.” As Key said this, he was already dialling someone’s number.

Everyone watched including me as he made the call.

“Jinwoon! Hey it’s Kibum. I’ve got a favour to ask. Can you send me a picture of the dancer who saved Minho? We didn’t get the chance to see her, so we wanted to know what she looked like.” There was a pause for a moment and then suddenly Key hyung yelled to the other line.

“I am not interested! Okay I am but not in the way you’re thinking! We just want to confirm something.” The crease on his forehead lessened and replied to the other idol.

“Okay. Thanks a lot.” He closed his phone and we all waited.

After a minute or so, Key hyung received the photo. When he opened it, he got the same expression I probably had when I saw her face.

The others rushed towards Key’s side and I watched their eyes widen.

“No way.”

“Yes way…” I told him.

This isn't much but I try to do my best.

Thank you for reading what I write. 

It really mean a lot to me that people read it.

I'm quite vain you see.... hehehe. I think everyone is, in there own way. hehe

If you're curious about something... just ask and I'll be happy to tell you

Comments are LOVED!

p.s.  Jieun/Haejin's original hair color is black and she had to change it for a new image.