--Haejin—

 

I was a mess when I woke up.

 

My eyes were swollen that it was hard to see a thing.

 

My throat was dry and it hurts to swallow. My hands reached over my head and gripped my hair, trying to make sense of what was happening to me.

 

Last night was a little hazy. Aside from the tears I shed and countless apologies, nothing was clear.

 

Onew sunbae have known the truth. Taemin had confirmed his suspicions.

 

It would be a matter of time before Minho would finally know the truth.

 

The soft bed underneath me didn’t help aching pain in my heart. I brought my knees to my chest and leaned rested my chin over them.

 

I couldn’t hear anything aside from the ticking clock displayed beside the bed.

 

“I miss you.” I whispered wistfully in the air.

 

I turned my head and looked at the time. 12 noon.

 

Normally, I would have screamed in panic at how much trouble I would be in, but I was emotionally exhausted. I slowly got off the bed and let myself leave the warmth of the bed.

 

I let out a hiss when the cold floor touched my skin. My body forced itself to move and when I got out of the room, no one was around.

 

There was a note on the guest room’s door.

 

Breakfast is on the table. Eat before you leave. Onew

 

A small smile painted my lips. I ate and washed the dishes before I left. 

 

“Haejin where have you been? I’ve been worried sick!”Alex, my manager, brought me into a hug as soon as he saw me. “I’ve called everyone when you went missing.”

 

I immediately felt his warmth and let myself be drowned in it. My body felt heavy and I was nowhere near okay.

 

I felt guilty for disappearing. Alex looked like he hasn’t slept. This was the first time I’ve disappeared without telling anyone.

 

“I’ve made you worry again…” I sighed. It wasn’t my intention but with all the things that happened last night, I couldn’t think properly.

 

“It’s fine now but promise me that you won’t disappear like that again.”My manager sounded like a worried brother. It brought a small smile to my face. His affection made me miss the family I had lost.

 

“Promise.”I nodded.

 

“Now that’s settled, we should get you prepared. You’ve already missed 2 scheduled meetings. JYP and SM won’t be pleased but we’ll just have to deal with it.”Alex was back to being a professional manager and pushed me to my room to change.

 

In a matter of an hour, I was transformed from Haejin to Skye. There was nothing that would make anyone notice that I cried. The makeup artist had done a great job to hide the swelling of my eyes.

 

 

 

Wearing tight jeans and a shirt that would always ride up, showing my stomach, I forced a smile towards the crowd and waved.

 

Exhaustion was creeping up on my body but my face didn’t show signs of fatigued.  Luckily, I managed to master the art of pretending that everything was fine.

 

Some fans called my name and I responded with a smile.

 

I just finished my performance a couple of minutes before the top three competitors were announced. Taecyon and Nichkhun were beside me since they were included in my performance.

 

Their presence may have somehow increased the interest of some fans in my performance. I wasn’t offended since it was the main reason why they were added to my performance.

 

The scandal regarding me and Nichkhun continued to circulate and I noticed other idol groups looking at us from the corner of my eyes.

 

Anyone would be curious as to why the two large companies such as JYP and SM agreed to our ‘relationship’and confirmed it publicly.

 

“SM and JYP… They really like this kind of noise.” Taecyon whispered to me. I would have sighed but there were eyes that watched us. Any sign of distress could send a different message.

 

“Let’s just hope that when this all blows out, no one gets hurt.”I replied with a smile and elbowed him. He knew I was not comfortable with the whole issue with his co-member.

 

He took the jab with a grin.

 

“Yah! Why am I not included in the conversation?” Nichkhun my supposed boyfriend playfully said.

 

Taecyon laughed who was between me and Nichkhun. He moved and let Nichkhun stand beside me. Nichkhun pinched my cheek. “I heard from your manager. You had me worried last night.”The tone was bright but I could that he was deeply concerned.

 

“Sorry… ”I couldn’t say the truth to him. I’ve burdened my friend enough.

 

He rested his hand on my shoulder and whispered. “It’s alright but a little warning next time. ”

 

I smiled back and nodded.

 

The other idols behind us whispered to themselves and I caught a few words. “Looks like it’s not a publicity stunt.”

 

“Wow.. SM was not joking…”

 

I mentally sighed. It was official. There was no going back to my boss’ words. This Nichkhun and Skye must be official in everyone’s eye. There was no going back.

 

“What are we going to do later?” I asked him while waiting for the MCs to announce the winner.

 

I was included in the top three along with one older group and a rookie group younger than me. There was a slight chance that I would win but I didn’t care about winning.

 

Even though that winning was needed in my line of work, I was tired to care. All I care was some peace and quiet to myself where I can be myself and not be afraid.

 

In the far end of the stage, I saw a glimpse of Minho. I also saw Miss A near their group.

 

I didn’t have to guess where he was looking.

 

It still hurt getting my heart squeezed dry.

 

“If you don’t want to get hurt, stop looking.” Nichkhun’s familiar voice brought me out of my self-torture. He forced a smile and linked his hand with mine.

 

His warm had comforted me in some way, warming my freezing heart a little.

 

I wish that by simply looking away, it could lessen the pain.

 

That wasn’t true. It was far too late to avoid pain. The fact that he loves someone other than me was enough to bring me pain.

 

I kept forgetting that I am not his girl anymore.

 

 

In the end, I didn’t win. It was fine. As a rookie, it was kind of expected.

 

Being able to win once as newly presented artist was good. I am not like EXO or SHINee. They are in a different league. It was also different with solo artists.

 

The fanbase wasn’t as large as idol groups. I was grateful enough that people like my music.

 

I congratulated the rookie group that won. It was their first win and they were immensely happy to win.

 

Their smiles reminded me of my first win. The feeling was exhilarating like jumping off a cliff. The pressure and the nervousness disappear and you realize that your dream finally came true.

 

After the congratulatory messages towards the winners, the rest of the participants including myself went down on stage. Taecyon went ahead including Nichkhun they had schedules while I had to search for my manager to ask about my next schedule.

 

I couldn’t spot him through the crowd.

 

Just then a female voice called me over.

 

“Skye!”

 

I turned around to the source of the voice and found Min of Miss A, a senior group from JYP waving at me excitedly.

 

My lips turned up into an automatic smile and I politely went over to them and bowed as expected to a rookie artist such as myself.

 

“Min, Fei, Jia, Suzy sunbae…”  I greeted.

 

They were smiling at me. “Is there something you need?”

 

Min shook her head and hooked her arm over my shoulder. “We just want to ask how is our hoobae doing in her activities. Wooyoung kept pestering us during our promotions if we had seen you. He looks like he’s pining over you.” She joked.

 

Hearing that, I immediately defended our relationship. “It’s not like that! Wooyoung sunbae’s like family.” I even waved my hands in denial. One member was enough. I couldn’t handle another one.

 

My reaction sent the rest of the members into a loud laugh.

 

“We know that. You have Nichkhun.” Fei teased.

 

I didn’t know what to reply to that and for some reason I blushed.  I wasn’t used to the fact that I was linked the good-looking male.

 

“Isn’t she adorable? She’s blushing!” Suzy cooed.

 

“Yes. She looks adorable.” It wasn’t a female voice.

 

The sound was truly male and surprised me. I didn’t notice that there were other people listening in with her conversation with Miss A.

 

Suzy’s face beamed at the sight of the newcomer.

 

I couldn’t see who it was since he was behind me but from the expression Suzy was wearing, I didn’t have to guess.

 

My stomach dropped. My face paled a little.

 

Minho moved into view and stood between me and Suzy. He didn’t step closer to any girl group member since his date with Suzy was a secret.

 

The rest of Miss A’s members gave Minho a knowing look and whispered to each other.

 

Jia, who was standing beside me, whispered. “Suzy’s a lucky girl.”

 

I stiffly nodded. “She is.”

 

“Sunbae.” I greeted forcefully.

 

He looked at me for a long moment before acknowledging. “Skye. Your performance today was good.”

 

I would have been happy but the tone he used sounded too formal. It was stiff. He was acting as if he was a totally different person.

 

Inside me, I wanted to cry.

 

What happened?

 

Last night, it wasn’t like this.

 

He even smiled at me.

 

Where was the Minho that was warm like the sun?

 

“Can I borrow you ladies so that I could have some time with…” Minho didn’t have to finish his sentence. Everyone in the group understood what he meant. He couldn’t be seen talking to Suzy alone. That would only create a scandal that both groups didn’t need.

 

“Of course!”Jia beamed.

 

“I better go.” I said. I was starting to feel out of place and staying longer would only torture myself.

 

Minho stopped me.“Stay. The more the merrier.”This time the tone changed.

 

I felt it’s sincerity.

 

I looked at him and wondered what he was doing.  

 

“Stay Skye. We can chat a bit.”Min joined in.

 

I couldn’t say no. It was rude.

 

“Okay.” I replied weakly.

 

Miss A was happy with my reply and chatted animatedly while we surrounded the popular male idol so that it would not create suspicion.

 

I walked a little behind and watched them talking happily. My eyes were specially trained towards Minho and Suzy.

 

I kept thinking how long can I endure this…

                                       

The longing was eating me up.

 

“How did Nichkhun ask you out?” Min asked me.

 

I almost stopped walking with the sudden question. “He just asked out of the blue. Nichkhun asked if I was available while I was training with them.”

 

I wasn’t sure what I was saying. I tried my best to answer as generic as possible.

 

Anything specific would only have us be caught in our lies.

 

Min shook her head in disappointment. “I was hoping for something romantic but it looked like no one in JYP has a romantic bone in their bodies.”

 

I laughed at that comment. “Wooyoung sunbae can be romantic.” I commented.

 

Jia seemed to disapprove. “If he stopped acting too much of a fool, he can probably be romantic.”

 

We all laughed and I soon forgot about my personal burdens and relaxed as I talked to them about different things. It was unfortunate that the chat was cut short when Miss A’s manager informed the girls that they need to leave already.

 

We regrettably said our goodbyes.

 

When they left, that was the only time I realized that Minho was still there.

 

The room was empty except for me and him.

 

My heart hurt once again.

 

“Sunbae.” I bowed.

 

“Are you going to tell me something?” He asked me.

 

Confusion was clearly written on my face. I didn’t know what he was talking about. “Huh?”

 

He closed our distance.

 

The room became suffocating.

 

I couldn’t move. I was frozen stiff on my spot.

 

Minho grabbed my arm and tightened his hold as if he was afraid I would get away.“How long will you keep on lying?”

 

His voice sounded hurt.

 

Was this about her and Nichkhun? “Well… Nichkhun and I-”

 

I was interrupted by a frustrated groan from him.

 

“It’s not about that!” He kept his voice controlled but there was anger. I feel anger emitting from his body.

 

He was shaking and I don’t understand why,

 

“I don’t-”

 

Before I could finish what I was about to say, I was stopped with a bruising kiss.

 

He was kissing me like no tomorrow. There was pain, anger, longing, sadness, and love bundled into that kiss.

 

At that moment, I couldn’t stop myself and reciprocated.

 

I stopped caring.

 

I missed this too much.

 

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If you went crazy with this update....

Me too^^

What do you think will happen next?

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