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014: Real

 

------Haejin-----

 

After the unofficial debut made with Onew in the music program, my management (dream entertainment) decided to make me official.

 

Alex, my manager told me the news as we got on our way to JYP.

 

Since dream entertainment has no official headquarters, I had to go back and forth to both companies.

 

It’s quite confusing to be honest.

 

Just a few minutes ago, I was in JYP to finalize some things about the concept they want for me.

 

So far, they decided with the concept of 2-FACED. Generally, I will have 2 images. Probably, 2 opposite images.

 

Funny how much the concept reflected myself.

 

Right now, I was on my way to SME. JYP informed me and my manager about the talks about my new concept to continue there. He said that SM will be responsible for half of the tracks as well the image I will be going for the album. The track songs was going to be discussed later on.

 

All I knew about it was that like the image I will be having, there will be two parts.

 

I sighed.

 

The only thing I hate about the arrangement was going back and forth. I’m sure one of these days I’ll be making a mistake of going to the other company instead of the other one.

 

Even though they both are in the same city, the travel was pretty much exhausting.

 

SME was a lot bigger than JYPE. That also meant that it will be a lot more confusing.

 

These were the times that I’m glad to have Alex by my side even though he’s very strict in keeping up with appearances and schedules.

 

We were supposed to meet with the man himself, Lee Sooman, for the full explanation of the concept.

 

The meeting was to be held on the head office and from the outside of the room, I could already hear people talking.

 

I guess this meant I wasn’t the only one involved in the album. Probably there would be other artists that will be featured in it for publicity.

 

Even until now, I’m still scared of Lee Sooman. He was like the scary father figure.

 

My hands started to sweat and tremble.

 

Alex pat me on the back before escorting me inside.

 

What I saw inside was the shock of my life.

 

It caught me off guard that I staggered backward. I was glad that Alex had his arm around my shoulders to keep me from falling.

 

I looked up and saw his lips move.

 

“Careful.” He muttered under his breath as he maintained a smile on his face and bowed in greeting to the people inside.

 

Almost, every active artist under SM was there. TVXQ with its two remaining members, Kangta, BoA, Super Junior, SHINee and other idol groups were there.

 

Girl’s Generation wasn’t there since they were promoting in Japan.

 

There were also others that I didn’t know. I wasn’t aware much of the other idols after I left back when SHINee was still a rookie group.

 

I never expected such a large number of artists present in the same room despite their busy schedules.

 

I stood frozen for a moment before I realized that they were waiting for me. Automatically, I bowed and greeted.

 

Lee Sooman, the man who made it possible for all these artists to succeed greeted me with a smile and motioned me to sit on the chair available.

 

“I thought this was a meeting about the album?” I asked aloud.

 

Sooman answered pleasantly. “It is. I just want to formally introduce you to SM’s artists.”

 

Then, he introduced me to each group.

 

They were all welcoming especially Super Junior.

 

The large group of boys that I didn’t know was called EXO. There were 12 members but they form 2 sub-units; EXO-K and EXO-M. There was also an all-female group similar to SHINee, called f(x).

 

It was fascinating to meet them especially when I had mistaken one of their members as Donghae of Super Junior.

 

“I’m so sorry.” I bowed multiple times out of embarrassment. She really looked like Donghae and I mistook her for him.

 

“No worries. Most people make the same mistake every time. Even I agree that I look too much like him.” She waved her hand off, assuring me that it was no big deal.

 

Her name was Amber.

 

I wonder why Lee Sooman keeps her image that way? For me, she would look stunning with hair longer than a boy’s.

 

Being in a room of experienced idols was nerve-wracking especially in SM. I knew how much dedication and hard work they had to give back in their trainee days to be where they are now.

 

These seniors were the ones I looked up to back then. I entered SM a year before SHINee debut. I didn’t get the chance to see them as trainees but during their practice sessions, I couldn’t help admiring them.

 

They also told me that since I would be the first artist from the joint company by JYP and SM, they will be choosing artists from their respective companies to participate in my debut.

 

Of course, not all of them were going to participate in my album. Lee Sooman just wanted to introduce me with SM’s artists.

 

According to him, Kangta would be one of the producers and Super Junior’s KRY would be participating in the album.

 

I felt relieved for a moment but Sooman added that it has also been decided that SHINee would be included. With my connection to them from the accident, it was kind of expected that they will be included.

 

“As you know, JYP and I decided to have your concept to be 2 opposite images.”

 

I nodded.

 

“SM will be responsible for creating the tracks as well as the music video for your darker image. JYP would prepare the remaining half and there would also be another mv for that.”

 

From the corner of my eyes, I looked at Alex listening intently. It looked like JYP hadn’t filled him enough about my album.

 

“Other details would be added up as we finish up choosing and recording the tracks.”

 

“How long will be the whole process will be?”

 

“For this project, it would take around 5 months in the average but if we want to have your official debut earlier, we can do it in three months.”

 

“Wow. That would be one heck of a schedule.” I said to myself.

 

Lee Sooman and some of the artists laughed.

 

My face blushed in embarrassment. I forgot I wasn’t the only one in the room.

 

“Oops.”

 

“Don’t worry you’ll get used to it. Nice to meet you, Skye.” Leeteuk, the leader of Super Junior, smiled at me.

 

Hearing it from an experienced idol gave me confidence to myself.

 

“Same here, sunbae.” I smiled.

 

From that day on, my life just became more hectic.

 

Reporters still kept requesting about me for an exclusive interview with my ‘heroic’ action back at the music program. I haven’t spoken about it in public and I don’t want my image to be the girl who saved Minho from ‘SHINee’. I still have my pride. Although I am grateful that it became a way for me to get the chance to be a singer, that was enough. There’s no more reason to use it.

 

Making an album was a lot more complicated that I thought.

 

Immediately the next day, the album making process started.

 

My original company, JYP was the first to choose the songs.

 

At first both companies planned for me to have 12 tracks in total but because I was a total beginner and had limited experience, a mini-album was a better choice.

 

In the end, 3 tracks for each image was decided.

 

“What do you think about this one?” One of the producers asked me.

 

I listened to the rhythm and imagined myself singing to the song. It was a trick JYP taught me. He wanted me to participate fully in my first album.

 

He was risking a lot for me since I had little training under him.

 

The feel of the song was light and easy-going.

 

“I think it sounds nice for a duet. Playful like 2 people wanting to know each other but having a hard time trying to convey their feelings.” I told him honestly.

 

The producer smiled at my answer. “Then, I guess this will be included as one of your tracks.”

 

There was still a long way to go before we could finish with the song selections.

 

After that, one of the male artists under JYPE would have a duet with me.

 

2PM, especially Wooyoung honestly told me that he wanted to chosen but we both knew that Park Jinyoung would most probably pick one of 2AM. They were most suited with the selected theme.

 

It was the same at SME. The song selection wasn’t doing as well as we hoped.

 

Everyone was serious about the perfect song that would fit me.

 

Even I was feeling so much pressure from it.

 

It was specially had to pick a song because of my double-image. 2 songs should be a complete opposite from each other.

 

The producers come and go to discuss what would be the perfect song for me.

 

Most of the time, we all sat in a meeting room and listened to numerous songs.

 

We weren’t having any luck at all. Kangta and Lee Sooman wasn’t satisfied with the screened songs. They wanted more choices.

 

After 5 hours spent in one room with one of the most intimidating man I’ve known back then, I can’t wait to get some fresh air.

 

Luckily, they all got tired of the endless arguments and decided to call for a break.

 

I sighed heavily as I rubbed my eyes trying to relax them and focus.

 

Alex went outside to make a few calls, reporting to JYP about the progress.

 

“Hard day?”

 

I opened my eyes and turned to look at the owner of the voice.

 

It was Key, who was holding a cup of my favourite hot chocolate drink.

 

My lips automatically formed into a smile. “Yeah. You could say that. It’s my first time with all of this. I guess you could say this wouldn’t be something I would get used to anytime soon.”

 

He chuckled and offered me his drink. “Want some?”

 

“Can’t. Sugar makes me sleepy.” I declined even though I like to have some.

 

There wasn’t much to talk about since we’re all tired and waiting for the rest of the meeting to get started once again and be finished with it.

 

The others who were in the room waiting with us formed other groups and chatted.

 

I was the only one talking to Key. His other co-members were out, probably doing something productive.

 

Key looked like he wasn’t going to leave me alone soon, but he wasn’t talking either.

 

For a minute or two, he decided to sit beside me while I rested my head on top of my arms.

 

From how he was acting, I could sense that he wanted to say something.

 

“Is there something you want from me? This is the first time I’ve seen you hesitate.” I took the first move.

 

His expression confirmed my thoughts.

 

“Uhmmm… Can I ask you a favour?” Key asked me.

 

“Will it be unpleasant?” I asked curiously.

 

He shrugged. “I don’t know.”

 

I thought for a moment and remembered the times, a couple of years ago.

 

“Then, out with it. What is it?”

 

“Can you spend time with me?”

 

“Huh?”

 

“What I mean is that c-can you hang out with me and the rest of the group?” He stuttered a bit.

 

EVERYONE.

 

SHINee.

 

Minho.

 

Might as well be used to the idea of seeing him, I thought.

 

I have avoided him long enough.

 

“Why not.” I told him with a smile.

 

The diva, Key, smiled at me like I was some star that had fallen from the sky.

 

“Thank You! Thank you so much! Everyone would be so excited!”

 

“Send me where and when we’ll meet.”

 

--------------

 

Song selection lasted for a week and then another week for the recording.

 

There was no time for fun during those two weeks that I had to reschedule a couple times my meeting with Key.

 

It was Sunday and I finally had a break. My manager was kind enough to let me have some fun for the day but warned me not to break the curfew. I nodded and headed to SME.

 

For that day, I just wore some jeans and a shirt. Pretty plain but it won’t attract any attention. If it does, I could only hope I won’t be criticized for it. It’s been awhile since I chose comfort over fashion.

 

I arrived later than I expected and SHINee was already there.

 

They were all chatting with each other when Key saw me come in. He waved at me and I waved back. The others noticed my arrival and said their greetings. I bowed in greeting as a reflex.

 

“You don’t need to do that. We’re friends.” Key told me and pat me on the shoulder.

 

I sheepishly smiled. “Old habits.” I reasoned.

 

There was something weird about their seating arrangement. I noticed that Minho was sitting in the middle and couldn’t really move freely.

 

I was about to ask what’s with the unusual atmosphere but I was beat down to it.

 

“Well… I guess we better get going.” Onew was the first to stand.

 

Minho wanted to get up but the other three had him in place.

 

Going? This wasn’t what we talked about. Key told me I was going to hang out with all of them?

 

“We? I thought-” I tried backing out but Key held me by the shoulders.

 

I looked at him and saw his apologetic expression. “Sorry. They forced me.”

 

This was a lot worse than I thought.

 

I was set up.

 

This shouldn’t be happening.

 

Going in groups, I could handle but being alone with him, I’m not sure where it will go.

 

“Next time I promise this won’t happen again.”

 

I doubt this would be the last time.

 

“Noona… Just don’t think much about it.” Taemin advised me.

 

Somehow, I wasn’t in the mood to listen. All I could think about how bad the situation was.

 

“ENJOY!” Jonghyun’s tone was excited and waved at me before leaving.

 

“Don’t do this.” I heard Minho, slightly begging them to let him go with them.

 

No one answered and left us alone with each other.

 

I should have realized it sooner.

 

Key never acts nervous unless there was some hidden agenda in his actions.

 

I can’t believe I forgot about that.

 

He remained in his seat, not speaking a word while I stood, avoiding any eye contact.

 

The silence felt like forever.

 

I want to leave but can’t. My stupid body was frozen in place.

 

This Minho in front of me was the aloof guy, most people would be mistaken him as. He wasn’t the Minho that I knew.

 

“Sorry.” His small voice told me.

 

He couldn’t take the silence.

 

“These guys… they’re not really like this… most of the time.”

 

Most of the time.

 

A small grin formed on my lips.

 

Yes. Most of the time, his friends can be normal.

 

“Not just today.” I commented and finally looked at him in the eye.

 

The first confident look I had after the incident.

 

He smirked and agreed. “Yeah. They’re pretty concerned about me.”

 

“I could see that. The guys are treating you like a baby.”

 

“Not a baby.” He tried defending himself.

 

I looked at him.

 

“Ok” He raised his hand as if to surrender. “Maybe like a baby, but they just won’t stop.” He explained exasperated.

 

His expression at his last sentence made me laugh out loud.

 

“hey!”

 

“Sorry.” I said between laughs.

 

The awkward atmosphere disappeared and without us knowing, we were talking like old friends.

 

I had a lot of fun.

 

I forgot about the pain.

 

For the first time, I forgot about the guilt and talked to him normally.

 

Honestly, it felt good.

 

Time flew by so fast that it was already late when we realized that it was time to go.

 

No one mentioned about the past.

 

We only talked about our interests and some current events.

 

When I got home, I fell asleep without nightmares.

 

-----------

 

As scheduled, rehearsal started.

 

It was pure agonizing torture during the first few days.

 

I had to memorize different routines other than my songs.

 

At the same time, the transformation process began.

 

The first thing in the stylists’ agenda was my hair. They had to think of what kind of haircut and color would suit both images without overlapping each other.

 

Black and red was out of the question.

 

Red was too edgy while black looked too normal.

 

They were deciding between platinum blonde and deep blue.

 

As for the hair length, extensions were added to make my hair longer.

 

The final result was that they made my hair platinum blonde but added deep blue strips horizontally which contrasted with the blonde.

 

I almost couldn’t recognize my face.

 

I looked like a doll.

 

The stylists were all proud of the outcome. Even I didn’t anticipate it to look so good.

 

After the hair, clothes came next.

 

I didn’t know this part would become so tiring.

 

I had to change for more than I could count and they would take picture of each set.

 

From shoes to accessories, everything was strictly observed whether they were perfect or not.

 

“I just hope after all this preparation, it will all be worth it.” I muttered under my breath as I change into another set of clothes.

 

One of the stylists heard me and assured me. “Trust me. It’s the hardest during the first time since we don’t know how it will look on you. It gets easier. Plus, you will look hot when your debut photos launches.”

 

“I haven’t had those yet.” I replied.

 

“You’re already scheduled for next week.” Alex came out of nowhere that made me and the stylist slightly jump out.

 

“Alex!” I whined. “Stop being so creepy.”

 

“No can’t do.” He ignored me. “We also accepted a few other offers.”

 

“What kind of offers?”

 

“A shoot for a magazine and a brand sponsoring. And the music video for both images will also be next week.” He answered.

 

“We’re wrapping up sooner than expected.” I said.

 

“They wanted to debut you as soon as possible so that your name wouldn’t fade in the news. Publicity.”  Alex told me while looking at my schedule, checking whether he missed something.

 

“A nice long sleep is out of the question.” I sighed heavily.

 

“We must make sacrifices for our dream, Haejin.”

 

That’s what I liked about my manager. He’s always there to support and protect me. He’s like family.

 

 

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It has been far too long.

Another writer's block.

I don't know if this update is interesting enough but in the succeeding updates... more drama^^

Thanks for supporting me even though I don't update soon enough^^

Love you guys!