If I was Gone
Traces of Love (Baby Don't Cry)
Kai's POV :)
Another day has passed by. I was expecting mom to yell at me or blame me for everything, but she went to work. That's a relief, I must say.
But the fact that Kim Jongin left me, that was not okay. I can't believe I'm gonna say this but.. I'd rather be scolded everyday than for him to not see me. Ever since he listened to me, it felt great and that I was alive again.
The truth is, I can't be gentle to him. I'm afraid that if I get close to him, I will end up finding everything from him. His hugs, kisses and comfort.. What if I get used to it?
I realized, I'm a few minutes late. Damn it. I have to attend my classes right now!
Jongin's POV :)
"Kai, what's gotten into you?"
"Kai! Yoohoo!"
"I'm sorry, what?" I was totally lost in focus.
Oh , it's the ty noona once again. Every damn day of my life, she's always there.
"Stop bugging me, Minyoung noona."
"My, my.. You've called me by my name for the first time. Have you started to realize that we are meant for each other?" She was playing with my collar, which I hated the most.
"Get lost."
"As long as I'm alive, I will still be here, finding you."
"I'd rather die." I threw a water bottle at her, now she's wet all over.
"Don't ever show yourself to me again." That's what she gets for messing with me. I continued, "I'm not in the mood. So shut up for your own good."
Kai's POV :)
It was Math time, and I was lost on focus. I'm still thinking about him, and that I made the wrong move.
I think that's the problem I'm facing all the time. I act independent often so people might think I don't need someone to lean on. But despite of that, they don't know that I'm only hiding the pain inside of me just so no one will see me as a burden.
Class is over. I wanted to go home. I realize I haven't eaten since lunch. Then again, hunger doesn't matter. My mind is preoccupied with thoughts of him.
I walked and crossed the road without thinking. I was focused on one thing: DEATH. That's what I'm always planning to do. To lessen the pain of everyone who deals with seeing me every single day of their lives.
I can see cars approaching and I smiled as I stepped on the middle of the road. I think it's time to end my life. Nobody will mourn for me, because I'm good for nothing. I deserve to die. I have no purpose in this world. I'm a pig, a loser and an eyesore. I wouldn't believe Jongin oppa.. Because I'm afraid that he would just leave me behind.
They were moving closer, slowly.. I closed my eyes, and everything is filled with darkness.
Everything became slower in motion, and darkness lingered. If I was gone, the pain will be done.
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