LightDonghae

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“How will I tell Kyu and Henry?” Donghae suddenly whispered as they stood in the hallways for about three minutes in complete silence. “They’re already confused about Hyuk and me… and now… It even got worse.” Yunho grabbed Donghae’s small body and hugged him. Donghae was just reaching until his shoulders and he suddenly felt really small and week.

But he also could understand why Jaejoong loved hugging Yunho so much. He felt save, protected and warm. Yunho’s strong arms holding him gave him courage to fight the situation he was in. “We’ll think about it, okay?... I’ll help you.” “Thanks.” Donghae could hear a low chuckle from Yunho. “No problem, bro. I have to be as good as a whole bunch of friends now. Let’s see if I can manage that.”

Donghae hugged the taller back. “I’m sure you can.” Yunho was a wonderful person. Even he should be with Jaejoong, even he would be worried about Jaejoong – he was here with him and him alone and Donghae had no plan if he ever could repay Yunho for this.

“Na na.” They suddenly heard and stopped hugging, turning to the voice. It was Kyuhyun, Henry behind him. “Why do you suddenly hug like you’re long lost lovers huh?” “That was cheesy” Henry complained but Kyuhyun just ignored him. “I thought you finally had Hyukjae.” Donghae swallowed hard and he could feel Yunho hugging his waist, trying to comfort him.

“Well…” Donghae began. “I have… him” Donghae knew he shouldn’t say this. Everything he and Hyuk may ever had was probably over now. How could they be together if he himself was the death enemy of the one he loved the most? How could they be together when Hyukjae suddenly feared him like he was supposed to fear the other? How?... It was impossible.

“But?” Kyuhyun raised one eyebrow. Donghae knew that his friend was really clever. He was fast in analyzing situations and Donghae knew he had to try to hide his situation as long as possible. So he took a deep breath, beamed his sweetest smile and tried to look like the Donghae everyone loved. “But nothing. I just felt like I in being a friend, because I was so focused on Hyukjae and wanted a hug!” he chirped.

Deep inside he was hurt, broken, confused. But he couldn’t bring Kyuhyun and Henry into his situation as well. Never. So he walked toward Kyuhyun and gave him the biggest hug he probably ever gave to the other. He saw a faint blush on the other cheeks as he released him and walked over to hug Henry. The youngest one happily accepted the bear-hug. “I love you, guys” Donghae loved, then took Yunho’s hand and walked with him toward the cafeteria. He could feel the glazes of Kyuhyun and Henry in his back.

Yunho seemed to understand. He doesn’t said anything and just played along.

As they reached the cafeteria he realized that Hyukjae and the other were here as well. His grip on Yunho tightened. “Hey, It’s okay if you want to sit with bo-… Hyukjae.” Kyuhyun said, obviously not sure if he could use the term boyfriend. And it was obvious as well that he disliked this thought. “No~ I have enough time with him after school.” Donghae lied. “I need to take care of my friends too. And you, my dear, are my friend.” “If.. If you say so.” Kyuhyun and Henry went away to bring the food.

“Don’t push yourself too much.” Yunho whispered as they sat down at a empty table. Donghae was seated this way that he could see Hyukjae. The other was looking at him with a expression he knew too well. Guilt. Donghae doesn’t know why Hyukjae of all people should feel guilty. He hadn’t done anything wrong.

He tried something. When he was sure that he and Hyukjae’s eyes met he screamed a “I love you” in his head as loud as he could. He repeated it over and over. Maybe twenty times. Not enough for him though. And he could see that Hyukjae could understand him. His expression changed. The guilt changed to love. Sad, hurtful love. Donghae thought about their first kiss, about how he felt. How amazing it had been, how happy he had been. How hard his heart had beaten against his chest. A soft smile formed on Hyukjae’s lips and Donghae returned it. Happily that Hyukjae still loved him. He had been scared that all of Hyukjaes feelings were over now that he knew what Donghae was.

Yet, it seemed to be all the same. Without him noticing a picture from the last night crept in his head. The moment when Hyukjae’s tongue hot over his neck ally and- Hyukjae looked away and Donghae knew that he wasn’t listening anymore.

He was at the edge of crying. Donghae understood. Hyukjae felt guilty because he thought that it was his fault they were like this now. Because he had been controlled by his lust and instincts. Because he had bitten Donghae. Because he woke up the sleeping Angel.

“He loves you.” Yunho suddenly whispered and Donghae looked at him with sad eyes. “He really does.” “I know.”

“Why so grumpy suddenly?” Henry asked as they sat down at the table as well, blocking Donghae’s view on Hyukjae. “I… just remembered that I forgot to learn for the test.” He really did. “I bet I’ll fail completely.” Kyuhyun laughed. “It that a joke? Your grades are always nearly as good as my grades, even when you don’t learn.” “Kyu’s right” Henry added. “You always do great.”

He failed. The wrote the worst grade he ever had in his whole life.

Not because he hadn’t learned. He knew all the answers. But he doesn’t care. All he could think of was Hyukjae who was – sadly – sitting about two rows in front of him. He tried to spam him with “I love you”s and “please don’t hate me”s and all memories of them. He wasn’t sure if Hyukjae was listening or not – but he had to try.

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(c) dolphinqueenKya