I continue stomping away from the place.

Then, a sentence of his stopped me.

L: Don't you love me anymore?

I stopped in my tracks, but did not turn back.

Continuation:

What do I say now...

I felt a thousand thoughts weaving in my brain. It was going to explode anytime.

And my heart... how can so many kinds of emotions exists at the same time?

It won't stop beating, will it? Nah...

Suddenly, I remembered what he did to me the last time...

I was asking him so helplessly, but the answer he gave me was none.

He broke my heart into a million pieces, how could I still be so blind to soften my heart at this time?

Yeah... you must think that I was going to let history repeat itself in a reverse way right?

Hey, but no way. I was going to hurt him twice the way he hurt me, exactly the way he did.

I stopped in my steps and turned over to him finally.

The hopeful face... How can he act like he was innocent after everything he had done to me?

The seconds passed, we stood still.

Me: Sad to say, but I no longer feel anything for you..

The tone of my voice turned cold and icy.. I can't even believe that was me...

L: W..What do you mean?

Me: I mean, everything between us is history.. its over..

L: I... I'm sorry... Please give me another chance...

He stood up immediately from the ground and run towards me, practically pleading.

L: No suzy... No...Krystal was my boss' sister, the Phoenix, you remember? He wanted me to...

I cut him off immediately, and shrugged

Me: That's got nothing to do with me, I guess.

My icy stare pierced through his heart that minute.

I continue faking the act although I know I was doing harm to myself.

L: ....fine...if thats what you say....

He nodded his head dejectedly and stopped all his explanation stuff.

L: Then we can still be friends right?

I look away from him and gave out a sigh, and made my way back home. I did not answer to that question , Im unsure myself of what i truely feel.. or rather kind of life is awaiting me now.. without L in my life..

Anything that I said to hurt him... I was hurting myself too ... I just wasn't clear why I did that.

Was I angry? Jealous? Or what? will i regret??

The door latch clicked behind me as I put my bag down on the chair.

Mom: Suzy..

The sound was rather weird, I mean the way my mom called my name.

Mom: Can you tell me what happened?

Me : What what?

Mom: What happened?

Don't tell me that she knew it already?

Me: .......

Mom: I saw how you treated him just now. What are you doing?

Me: Nothing...

I feel the tears threatening to fall... I wanted so much to burst into tears and get into my mom's embrace. If only I had listened to her in the past and not

get together with L... then I would not be the way I am like now...

I could have an innocent mind, a free heart, a cheerful face. I won't have to act like that...

I wouldn't have to keep everything to myself and suffer. There are so many things that I regretted...

Mom: You broke up with him?

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-sorry for the long awaited post =)