Prologue

He handed me the beer, which tasted good and cold going down. I curled up against him, kissing his neck as he held me close. As I closed my eyes the world began to spin in the dark, but he held me tight, his hand already moving up my leg, to my waist. This was it.

I kept kissing him, losing myself in him, but the room was hot and smelly and as we further, I kept thinking that this wasn’t how I imagined my first time. Not here. Not how I was feeling, all sweaty and my head aching. I started to get nervous, jumpy, and as he kept going, sliding off my skirt, the noise from the outside of the room getting louder, the music and the talking.

“Wait,” I said suddenly, pushing him away from me. I could hear him groan, we were almost there.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“I can’t, not like this, not here.”

“Come on, Tiffany,” he said.

“I’m sorry. I just feel sick,” I said feeling the vomit rise up in my throat.

“Just calm down, okay,” he said.

I was crying, scared in this strange, awful place. I ran for the door and pulled it open as he called out my name. I ignored him and ran through the crowd alone on my knees, hiding behind the bushes in the park.
 

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It hadn’t been long when he spotted me, half asleep and with dry tears on my face. Not saying a word. As we still were silence. I was huddled against my window, eyes closed and feeling the wind blowing in my face, hoping I wouldn’t get sick again.

“I’m sorry,” I finally said. “I really am.”

“Let’s not talk about it, okay?” he said, and the engine roared as he changed gears, the car travelling faster.

“I wanted to. I did. I just felt too sick. I drank too much,” I tried to explain.

He didn’t say anything, just gunned the engine.

“Don’t be like this. Please.”

“You said you wanted to and then you just changed your mind.”


We were coming up on a streetlight that shined green ahead.

“I felt sick. God, can’t you understand that?

“No, but what I can understand is that you never really wanted to, Tiffany. You just made it seem like you did. You’re just some big tease, some big tease who thought you could play around with me.”

“I’m not. I wasn’t playing around. I wanted to. I really did. God, I love you,” I explained.

The light was turning orange but he kept with the same speed, they were going faster.

“Slow down,” I said.

The light turned red but I knew already we weren’t stopping.

“You just don’t get it,” he said.

I wondered what he was going to say when I heard something big and loud hit my door, sending glass shattering all around me. The next thing I remember was someone’s voice , crying. It was him. Holding my hand tightly and saying it finally, in the wrong place and time, but saying it.

I love you. I’m sorry. I’m here. I know you can hear me, just hold on. I’m right here.