Too In Love
Let Love...
The next day, completely forgetting the talk she had with her mom on the phone, Amber cleaned their bedroom. While she was changing the covers of her bed, her phone vibrated. It wasn't her mom but her sister.
"Heard you're coming back!" it was the first thing that her sister said. She was obviously excited but Amber didn't know whether to be happy like her or not.
"Yeah, next week or in two weeks. I don't know." she replied sounding so down that even Jackie could feel it.
"What wrong? Aren't you happy?" Amber sighed before faking a bright tone of voice.
"Of course, I'm happy. Just... gonna miss everyone here."
"Heard you've got yourself a boyfriend and dad said it's not Henry." Jackie to really brighten up her mood.
"What are you planning to do with him? Are you going to break up with him?" but no matter how she tried to joke around, their conversation would always end up in a serious talk.
"Mom said you'll come back for good." Jackie actually felt sorry for her little sister. She wasn't answering any of her questions that's why she was sure it wasn't something that Amber had been worrying about. She stopped asking and waited for her to talk. They were quiet for a while before Amber spoke again.
"I don't know." Amber murmured. She just didn't know what to do. If it was a contemporary leave, she wouldn't be worrying like that.
The whole she thought about it. She had a few more calls from her parents that made her a lot sadder. It probably depressed her. She just felt lucky that Jinri was out all day so she could think everything through alone. When Jinri came back, Amber acted as if nothing happened. She kept faking smiles whenever Jinri talked to her and it seemed like her dongsaeng was pretty much convinced of her gay expression.
That Monday morning, she wanted to stay on her bed. She didn't want to face everyone and tell them that she's leaving and she that she ain't coming back. She waited for Jinri to get out of the bathroom before she stood up from her bed and locked herself in the bathroom. She sat at the corner and hugged her knees.
"Eonni, I'm going." Jinri shouted from the door but Amber didn't reply and just tightened her embrace to her knees before crying her heart out.
She spent the whole day there afraid to face the outside world. Her phone kept vibrating and beeping all day but she just ignored every call and every message that she received and kept receiving. Every time she wiped a tear, another one would instantly fall. She got up and stared at her reflection in the mirror. She looked terrible with her eyes so red but she couldn't care less cos tears just kept filling her eyes and kept blurring her sight. She didn't want to leave even if she missed her family. It's not about them. It's about her friends. It's about Jinki.
Jinri got back early cos everyone was asking her about Amber. She checked the room to see if Amber was there but the room was empty. When she got out of the bedroom, she heard someone sobbing in the bathroom. So she turned the knob but it was locked.
"Eonni. You there?" Jinri knocked with a worried voice. Amber didn't answer that worried Jinri even more. To ad was the increasing sound of sobbing.
"Amber eonni, are you okay?" she still didn't receive any answer. So she took the key for the bathroom and opened it. She saw Amber crying with her body crumpled up on the floor.
"Eonni!" Jinri rushed to hr side and held her. Amber cried even harder. Maybe she was exaggerating, maybe she was making it a big of a deal though it wasn't but she just kept thinking--leaving without coming back, ever. The thought of being apart to everyone, especially to Jinki for a long time, she couldn't take it. Jinri didn't know what happened but she didn't ask cos she knew that what her eonni needed that moment was a comfort.
"I'll call Jinki op--"
"No, don't. Anyone but him... C-call Min. Only Min." Amber said that made Jinri thought it was about Jinki, that maybe he hurt her pretty badly in a really emotional way.
"Okay." she uttered grabbing her phone in her pocket and searched for "Min" in her contact list. She waited for her to answer and when she did, Jinri explained shortly that Amber was troubled and that she wanted to see her. Only her. So Min, who was already close to her working place, went back to go to their apartment.
She opened the door and searched for the two.
"We're here." Jinri shouted from the bathroom and so Min went there. In an instant, she was kneeling at Amber's side and asked her what's wrong-
"I'm leaving." Amber murmured between her sobs.
"What do you mean?" the two asked in unison her back softly.
"I'm leaving... not for a few days, not for a few weeks but... but for good." she cried on both of their arms. Jinri and Min looked at each other with the most worried expressions they had ever had. They calmed her down first before asking her to explain again. Cos they just didn't understand. They didn't understand why she was crying like that, as hard as that.
Amber drank a glass of water before telling the two everything--that her mom called, ORDERED her to come back to the US for goof. The two knew it was a really awful news but it's not something that Amber would cry about for that long. And so Amber said about her talk with her sister. When Jackie asked her what she's planning to do with her boyfriend and she didn't have any answer. And there they understood. That the girl was already TOO in love with Jinki and that she didn't want to leave him. Amber had never been that in love before. The want to stay, not for her friends but for the guy she loved was something they didn't expect from her. Min and Jinri didn't ask for more but just held Amber in their arms and let her cry again.
The two helped her get up. They couldn't just let her lie on the bathroom floor all day. They took her to the sofa and gave her another glass of water. Jinri prepared their dinner cos she had a feeling that her eonni didn't eat at all that day. Min just sat next to her and eased her. Her eyes were so red and swollen. She couldn't even look at Min straight in the eyes because she was so embarrassed weeping like that in front of them earlier. She was being ridiculous, that's what she thought cos she knew she was being unreasonable to wail like that as if it was the end of her world.
"You should tell him." Min kinda regretted telling her that cos she knew she would start crying again but it was the best idea she got.
"I can't. I just can't." Amber rubbed her eyes didn't want another tear to fall.
Min then received a text from the manager asking why they didn't come to work with asking him first. Min couldn't reply immediately. She didn't have any excuse to tell the boss. She just put her phone back in her pocket and invited Amber to eat. She insisted cos Amber looked really weak that day and she needed to eat. She didn't want to be a big burden so she started eating. In the middle of their meal, Min received another text. It was from Hyoyeon saying "Jinki came by. He was looking for Amber." She didn't show the message to Amber cos it would only make her feel worse. They brought her to the bedroom to rest. But the first thing she saw was the glowing stars on the ceiling. She covered her eyes wishing to be blind.
"Take them off, please." she pleaded as if those artificial stars would kill her. Min hushed her and waited for her to fall asleep. When Min got out of the room, someone rang the doorbell. It was Jinki that worried them a little bit.
"Min... Heard you and Amber didn't go to work today." Jinki said obviously clueless of what was happening.
"Is Amber here?" he asked glancing at both girls.
"I haven't talked to her since yesterday. She wasn't answering my calls either. Did something happen to her?" Jinki creased his forehead looking over at the apartment.
"N-no. Her phone got broken yesterday and we had it fixed after school... That's why we didn't go to work." Min answered faking a smile.
"And... she's already asleep actually." Jinri added trying to take his attention.
"Let me see her, at least." he said still peeking at their back.
"You can see her tomorrow, oppa." Jinri pushed him away.
"Let's walk home together." Min pulled Jinki's arms before glancing at Jinri as if telling her that she'd take care of him. Jinki was still suspicious cos the two were acting weird but he didn't ask anymore questions cos he knew they had their reasons.
Amber was obviously restless that day. Jinri could hear her heavy breathing probably from her lack of sleep. Jinri stared at her. She was crumpling both her forehead and nose. Jinri suspected she was having a nightmare. She felt sorry for her eonni. She didn't deserve to ache like that. She wished she could do anything for her.
......................
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