‘Has he left already?’ Doo Jun muttered as he walked out of his and Dong Woon’s shared room, peering around for the maknae.

His dark circles were more prominent now, because he slept late the night before. He had been thinking about what the others said, and he only finally succumbed to sleep around 2 a.m. Looking at the clock, he saw that it was 7, and he could hear movements from the others’ rooms.

Dong Woon-ah, you had to go to such lengths just to avoid me? Do you really want to avoid me that much? Do you really hate me that much? Flipping his hair, he gave a frustrated sigh before heading to the bathroom.

Hyun Seung who was coming out from his room saw, and he shook his head. I hope that idiot leader hurry up and just tell Dong Woonie already, before Dong Woonie decides to really give him up for good.

Hyun Seung might be quiet most of the time, but that doesn’t mean he can’t see things for himself. He had guessed that Dong Woon had feelings for their leader, and apparently it was really true since what Dong Woon was doing now was no different than a wounded animal retreating to his wounds. As loud and boisterous the maknae is, he is still a sensitive and shy guy, and Hyun Seung knew he wouldn’t be the first to make the move to confess. Especially considering the person he has feelings for is the leader himself. Within a few days, Hyun Seung could guess why the maknae was behaving the way he was. Dong Woon was running away from the cause of his hurt, in this case Doo Jun. ironically, it was not because Doo Jun did something to cause the hurt. It was the opposite. This time, Dong Woon was running away from the lack of acknowledgement from Doo Jun. Hyun Seung wanted so very much to knock some sense into the leader to get him to open his eyes, but he knew if he meddled too much, the outcome might be worse than it could be. So, for now, he will only look in from the side, though an occasional discreet nudge here and there might hasten the long overdue process.

Loud music can be heard thumping from the dance studio. Music this loud can only mean one thing. Either to block the sound of crying or for someone to lose himself in. In either case, it wasn’t a good thing. Doo Jun’s footsteps slowly faltered as he approached the closed door of their studio. He, as well as all the others, knew what the loud music meant. Hyun Seung gave him a light pat on the shoulder before overtaking him, carefully opening the door and peering in. he looked around, before entering, allowing the others in as well. Their sensitive ears were assaulted by the loud music, and it doesn’t help that the speakers were playing ‘Special’. Jun Hyung immediately went to the speaker and turned down the volume, earning a glare from the maknae. The rapper ignored him and went over to where the others are and put down his bag.

Dong Woon could feel his stare burning into his sweat soaked back. He knew the expression that would be on his face, he knew what thoughts would be running through his head, and he knew what he wants to make him do. He knew, yet he didn’t turn back. He couldn’t act like he cared, couldn’t let him see that he cared.

The loud music was his way of blocking his thoughts. His way to drown them out when all he could hear is the music, when the bass was so loud he could feel each and every beat vibrate through his body. A pity he can’t blast loud music the whole day, his hyungs will never let him get away with it.

Soon enough, their dance instructor came, and Dong Woon welcomed the next few hours of quiet in his mind as all he could do was to concentrate on his dancing. He was so focused, almost as if his life depended on it. Well, if not his life, then at least his sanity. Not even the burning hot glances from the leader can get him to break out of his concentration.

At the end of the practice, they all went out for lunch. They didn’t even bother returning to the dorm, they just changed and went to the diner opposite the studio. Dong Woon was exhausted, but he felt strangely relaxed. The first in a while. All the avoiding, dodging and shunning got him so tense whenever he was around the members. He knew the others were worried. And why would they not be? He was seriously being weird. Even for him. He wanted to stop. But he didn’t know how. It had became a habit now, to avoid any form of communication between him and the leader. But it didn’t stop hurting. In fact, it hurt even more. Just looking at him hurts. Every glance, every smile, every laugh shot straight into his heart. In turn, he tried harder to distant himself even further away. Not that that stopped the pain. He still has to see him, since they were living in the same dorm, sleeping in the same room.

The next few days were the repeat. Dong Woon woke up earlier, goes to the studio, blasts music till his hyungs come, practice, eat, practice some more, go back to the dorm, shower, tell his hyungs he’s gonna go to the studio earlier, bid goodnight to them, then sleep before the leader gets into the room. The other members didn’t rush Doo Jun. They knew he would do something about it soon, because he said he will. They just hoped it would be in time to break the thickening wall between those two.  

On Sunday, the members get to have a day off from practice. Dong Woon planned to sleep late, he was entitled to after all, but he got rudely woken up. Someone was banging away in the kitchen and woke him up. Apparently Doo Jun was also sleeping because when Dong Woon tried to exit the room, he brushed against the recently awakened leader at the doorway. Instantly, he recognized the scent of the person he just came into contact with. His sleepy, half opened eyes immediately opened wide in shock and he reflexively flinched. He couldn’t escape the hurt in the leader’s eyes though. He ran out of the room and into the bathroom, shutting himself in. Bracing his arms on the sink, he looked into his reflection, his fast breathing fogging up the sink.

Normally Dong Woon would be content lazing his off day away in the dorm with the other boys, but he couldn’t stand being so near the leader the whole day, so he decided to go out. Where, he didn’t know yet. But it would be good if he could just roam the streets. He sneaked out, then texted Ki Kwang where he was going before setting his phone on silent.

The streets were quite crowded, this being a Sunday after all, just like the way his thoughts were clogging up in his mind right then. Decked out in hoodies, shades and cap, he blended into the crowd of people bustling about Seoul. Dong Woon took a bus and got down a few stops later. He got his bearings and started walking in the direction of the dorm, just strolling and looking at stores and stalls lining the streets. He got distracted when a corner food stall beckoned at his stomach and he went over, eyeing all the piping hot food. He finally decided to get himself some spicy rice cake along with some pancakes. He paid the stall owner and went on his way.

He felt several vibrations from his phone since he texted Ki Kwang, but he decided to ignore them. He knew most of it would come from s and managers anyway. Will he text? Aish, why the heck am I still thinking these kind of thought. So useless. He sighed, his footsteps slowing down. Today, shall be the day I finally start thinking about how I will deal with this thing. I can’t possibly avoid him forever. And what happened just now… Why can’t my heart accept that he won’t ever reciprocate my feelings for him? It hurts. It hurts when I see him. It hurts when I see his eyes, and see the hurt in there as well. It hurts to think that I’m the one single-handedly ruining our friendship. He prolly doesn’t even know why. He must hate me now. Lost in his thoughts, he roamed where his feet took him, only half aware of his surroundings. 

[a/n: hey guys! hehe long chappie from me, hope u like it! :D hope this chap makes sense to you. wrote this half asleep. zzzzZZZZ oh and yeah, HAPPY NEW YEAR! more comments this time since its the new year? pwetty pwease? ORZ sleepy... but srsly, comment. i would love to see some new face(by this i mean usernames) and old faces(same applies) had better show up too, you! OTL...need sleep.... May you always have a reason to smile! <3]