Lying on the bed, eyes wide open in the gloom, Doo Jun was sleepless again. He knew this thing between the two of them will only get worse in the future, but he honestly didn’t know how to talk to Dong Woon now. He was afraid. He hated the thought of one day, Dong Woon ignores him completely. What was he going to do then? He knew he needed to stop this before it went further, but he didn’t dare to talk to the maknae. He didn’t want the hurt that comes along with the rejection of the younger man. The first few times Doo Jun tried to touch Dong Woon taught him that the pain in his heart was only going to grow. Not only had Dong Woon stopped talking to him, he also avoid any form of contact between the two of their bodies.

Doo Jun can still remember the countless times when Dong Woon would lean into him when they were sitting together, the times his long pianist fingers rested themselves on his thigh so casually. The little talks they had when it was their break in between practices, where Dong Woon would wipe the sweat off Doo Jun’s forehead and Doo Jun would knead Dong Woon’s neck and shoulders. The times where Doo Jun dared to whack Dong Woon just because he could. Now, he wasn’t even sure how Dong Woon would react if he hit him playfully. He sighed, closing his eyes, hoping for sleep to claim him soon and stop his thoughts.

He sounds so lonely. If only I could hug him. But I can’t. If I did, then I will never let go. I need to let go. Why can’t I let go? Dong Woon was still trying hard to let go of his feelings for Doo Jun. Whoever said that time will erase everything was mistaken. After a week of distancing himself from Doo Jun, all he felt was pain. He knew Doo Jun would be feeling it too. Who said it will be easier after time? Trying to keep his hands away from Doo Jun was still hard, and replying him with a monotone was getting harder and harder for Dong Woon. All he wanted was to forget, but why is it instead of forgetting, he felt pain? Pain that reminded him that the person he loves was in the same dorm, same room, and technically almost the same bed as him, yet he couldn’t reach out his hands to touch him. Throwing away those pesky feelings… it hurts me so much. But what can I do?

Actually, Dong Woon hadn’t planned to be so distant from the leader. All he wanted was to stop doing things that will remind him of his love for the leader. But everything he did reminded him of Doo Jun. Whenever he goes to practice he remembers how the leader will check on him regularly to ensure he isn’t overtaxing himself. Every time he sits in the van, he remembers how he would lean his head on the broad shoulders of the leader. Every time he sits on the couch, he remembers the times they happily laughed together playing games on their PlayStation. He exhaled a little sigh of his own and thought over why he started to avoid the leader.

He tried to ignore his feelings for Doo Jun, but with the close proximity they had, it was difficult. He tried to pretend nothing is wrong but all he could think of was how things could be. It was hard enough acting like everything was fine in front of Ki Kwang, he couldn’t take the thought of having to act in front of Doo Jun too. So, instead, he started to pretend Doo Jun wasn’t there. He ignored him as best as he could, and only replied if the leader initiated a conversation. He knew what he was doing to Doo Jun was wrong and it wasn’t his fault, but all he wanted was to keep his heart from breaking. By staying away from him, his feelings should also be slowly dissipating away.

But that wasn’t the case at all. The problem is, the memories are now constantly replaying itself in Dong Woon’s head. He misses Doo Jun so very much, and he can’t help but think of him. He fell asleep thinking of Doo Jun every day, and woke up feeling like an because Doo Jun certainly doesn’t deserve his coldness. But what could he do? Trying to protect himself from pain was actually making it hurt more.

Jun Hyung and Ki Kwang didn’t know who reached their limit first, but they know that it was time for the other four to step in. One week has passed already, ONE long hellish week of them seeing the leader and maknae ruining a perfectly fine friendship. Frankly, even though Dong Woon was the same with them four, seeing how he treats the leader was being hard on them as well. And being the ones who witnessed firsthand how they used to be, they couldn’t bear to watch this, whatever this was, go on any further.

They planned on getting the leader alone, not that it was difficult now that Dong Woon wasn’t with him all the time, and speak to him. They had avoided any agitation to the leader the past week because they know how hard the leader was taking the silence from Dong Woon. They didn’t plan how and what to ask the leader, all they know is they had to get those two to get back to normal so they themselves don’t have to worry and see their awkward treatment towards each other. 

[a/n: hey guys! :D hrmm short update i know... i'll try to make it longer, but no promises yet.. im kinda stuck at the ending.. hahahahaha yeah. so sorry if the chappies are crappy.. T.T but i still hope you guys will read this and give comments! :D]