It’s so hard. Trying to keep myself distant from him is so hard. I want things to go back to the way before… Before everything became so messy… Before I knew Ki Kwang has feelings for me, back when I don’t have to choose between them two, back when my heart wasn’t feeling so conflicted.

In the darkness of the night, Dong Woon finally allowed himself to think of the things he bottled up during the day. Did he notice anything wrong? How can he be so near, yet so far away? He shook his head. Stop it! Those useless thoughts, throw them away! He probably didn’t notice anything anyway. Go to sleep, idiot. Dong Woon gave up on trying to figure out those pesky feelings that even after days he still couldn’t get rid of.

Similar to the maknae, Doo Jun didn’t sleep as well. He heard Dong Woon stirring on the bed beside him. He wanted to look over, he wants to look into the deep eyes of the person he loves, just to reassure himself that Dong Woon was still there. But he doesn’t know it, does he. And how would he? You didn’t even tell him! Doo Jun almost groaned. I wanna tell him, but I… I don’t have the guts. Doo Jun finally admitted to himself. But I miss him so much! Ever since Ki Ki hurt himself, he had become so distant. No more intimate glances, no more light touches here and there, no more private smiles, no more light hearted banter. Doo Jun felt the loss acutely. Those little gestures he took for granted, he felt it only when they were taken away. What happened? Why is he like this? Doo Jun couldn’t fathom why the maknae had seemed to withdraw from him. He saw nothing different in the way the maknae interact with the other members, Just him.

He wanted to rake his hands over his hands in frustration, but he didn’t want to wake the maknae accidentally. God knows he didn’t need any more reason to push the maknae away.

Actually, Doo Jun wasn’t the only one who noticed the difference in the way the youngest treated the leader. Ki Kwang and Jun Hyung especially. Those two had kept a close eye on their project. Ki Kwang didn’t understand Dong Woon’s change as well, because Dong Woon didn’t change towards him at all. He and Jun Hyung always huddled together to discuss the progress of their plan, and there wasn’t much to report. Instead of bringing them closer, the leader and the maknae seemed to be further than ever. Jun Hyung and Ki Kwang were pulling their hair out in their frustration at the lack of progress. It wasn’t as if they didn’t create any opportunities for the two to interact. It was just that even when they were all together, Dong Woon seemed to ignore Doo Jun. It wasn’t obvious to others, but for the other four, they knew the maknae was being seriously weird.

Doo Jun and Dong Woon had always been close. From the first day they met, Doo Jun had always taken good care of the youngest. Always watching out and making sure he was alright. And even after the incident, even though he was sent to the hospital, Dong Woon still treated the leader with warmth, and he was the first to forgive the leader. The forgiving maknae who was now being cold and distant. To none other than their leader. None of them had seen this coming. Least of all, Ki Kwang and Jun Hyung. They had expected the maknae to be as warm as always. With the help of their meddling and Dong Woon’s expected behaviour, they thought pushing Ki Kwang and Dong Woon together more and making Doo Jun jealous by making KiWoon moments right in the face of the leader would propel their plan into success. They didn’t expect Dong Woon to suddenly seem to withdraw from the leader.

It wasn’t a gradual withdrawal too. One day, they were normal, then the next, Dong Woon avoided any contact or conversation with the leader. His normally cute and occasionaly annoying ‘Doo Junnie hyung!’ had stopped completely. Now he just addresses the leader as ‘hyung’ and that’s it. ‘Seobie hyung’, ‘Junnie hyung’, ‘Seungie hyung’, ‘Ki Kwangie’ were all confounded by this abrupt change. They didn’t know where the sudden change stemmed from, and this had been happening for the past three days. Since Ki Kwang injured himself. Dong Woon wasn’t a fountain of information exactly either. The leader tried not to appear hurt but the members know him well enough to see how much pain he felt by the cold treatment. It might not be cold in the normal sense, but for Dong Woon, being distant to those he cared about is not in his nature. He was naturally bright, cheery and dorky. So even though he don’t openly hate on Doo Jun, the distance was making itself known just by the lack of interaction between Dong Woon and Doo Jun.

By now, Ki Kwang and Jun Hyung had abandoned their original plans. Since Dong Woon wasn’t even talking to the leader, there wasn’t any point in continuing their plan. All of them had tried to pry some information from the man himself, but Dong Woon was stubborn when he needs to be. Ki Kwang was at his wit’s end trying to figure out what caused the sudden change in the maknae. Even though they couldn’t get any info out from Dong Woon, at least Dong Woon still talks to them the way he did in the past. And Ki Kwang knew that seeing the maknae being like that was absolutely killing the leader. He was glad Doo Jun  wasn’t completely losing it and demanding an answer from Dong Woon, even though that was what he would do if he and Doo Jun switched roles.

For the most part, Doo Jun was still clueless. He didn’t know why the maknae had changed so much with him, he don’t know the reason behind the change, and he doesn’t know why the heck isn’t he doing something about it himself. He wasn’t the kind who let things like this fester. Normally he would be the first to ask and find out what was wrong, but this time, he didn’t even dare to approach the youngest. Nowadays, conversation between the two of them went like this:

‘Morning, Dong Woon.’

‘Morning, hyung.’

‘Let’s go.’

‘Okay.’

‘Hurry up! We’re gonna be late, people!’

‘…’

‘Have you eaten?’

‘Yes. You?’

‘Yeah.’

To say it was awkward was to put it very mildly. Frankly, Doo Jun didn’t know how long he could take it anymore. Every day, every time Dong Woon opened his mouth to speak, his heart starts to beat with anticipation, but most often than not it was always let down. He found himself listening attentively whenever he was near the youngest, hoping to catch his voice, even though he wasn’t speaking to him or anything, at least Dong Woon still speaks. At least he hasn’t withdrawn completely from us, Doo Jun comforted himself. Not that he felt any better.

[a/n: HEY GUYS! SO SO SO SORRY FOR BEING AWAY FOR A WHILE. MIANHAE! had tests and stuff to do so i couldnt update. those one shots i told u guys before? yeah? im gonna start on them soon, so please keep a look out. i cant promise it would be good but i would appreciate it if u guys go and have a look :D ALSO, how did you guys find this chappie? is it ok? or was it bad? comments please? so that i know u guys are still reading this :D have a great day/noon/evening ahead! (its currently in the afternoon here and i have to go find food) kekekeke :P]