Author note: Please think of  the song Bastard from Secret while thinking about their debut song! <3

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“So, Lian, are you ready?” “Yes~”

Hwang, or John as he preferred to be called, pushed a few buttons. “Okay, here we go. Give it your best shot!” I looked at him through the glass and nodded. I saw Beakhyun stand next to him. He smiled at me and gave me a thumbs up, his lips formed some words, and if I understood correctly he mouthed, “Everything will be fine.” I looked back at my music sheets. I blew my breath out. I was going to be all right.

The music started. It filled my mind. I opened my eyes again. I was ready. I let all the feelings of fear go. I just sang because I liked the song and I wanted to sing the story. I was happy. I could feel the story. The story revealed itself during the song. This was different than all the other times we had practiced this song. I just enjoyed it. I didn’t have any limitations, nor expectations I wanted to live up to. Just the song and me.

The song finished. I looked at the window, with at beaming smile on my face. Beakhyun also smiled, and so did the rest of HANA and John. “Great job. Come in here for a while we talk over your performance and maybe we can retake some parts.” I nodded happily, this was not as bad as I thought it would be.

“You did great!” Jinea squealed. I just beamed. I couldn’t remove this crazy smile off my face. I loved the attention and the warmth of the other members supporting me. I looked at Beakhyun. “You did great,” he told me. I don’t know why, buy it sounded so warm and soft it send shivers down my spine. “Thank you.” I said to him, still looking in his eyes. This feeling right now, it was so warm and soft I knew I wanted this for the rest of my life. I wanted to keep making songs, and having fun with my friends. It may sound weird, but it felt like the past months of hardship and pain didn’t matter. All that mattered was the warmth of this family and the love and support I received from them was overwhelming. I realized this was not only from the people in this room, but our whole company was one big family. Of course I had known this was one of the main lines of SM entertainments vision. But this was the first moment it really felt like a family.

Before we knew it our recording had ended. We had had so much fun. “Let’s celebrate!” Nana shouted. “Manager Kim.” We all pleaded in unison. “Please can we celebrate? We have been working so much. We want to let go a bit. And Lee So Man gave us a free day tomorrow! Please??” She looked from one to the other, hesitant. “I don’t know…” she started. “Ah~ Please~ ?” Nana pleaded, with her best aigo and puppy eyes. “I… I…” She looked at Sujin. Sujin also put in her aigo. “Just this once, we swear we won’t drink too much, or do anything stupid!” Manager Kim was still silent for a moment, pondering if she was allowed to let us go. “Okay then.” She finally gave in with a forgiving smile. “You can go celebrate.” “Yeay,” we all shouted. “But!” We all feel silent. “You can only go if you take someone with you.” “Huh?” Jinea reacted, “but who?”

“How about us?” a well-known voice came from behind me.