Needless to say, I had a few tears streaming down my face by the end of the song. The boys sounded absolutely amazing, especially with the live band, and the crowd? The crowd absolutely loved it. It took a minute or two before they were actually quiet enough for the next song, Haru Haru, to start up. And of course, once the rest of the ballads got underway, the crowd went nuts.

But truth be told, the rest of the concert sort of passed in a haze for me. Right after the song, Bommie-unnie came up to me and tried to ask me what was wrong. I did my best to assure her it was nothing, even laughing it off and saying I was just so happy to be there, but I think she could see through that lie. She could tell something was wrong, but not what, so from then on either she or Dara were with me, at least until the show was over. And that was probably a good thing too.

I felt torn between smiling like a maniac and crying like an idiot, even as I stood there watching the boys perform with all of their hearts. A sight that normally would have had me dancing and singing had me just standing there staring. On one hand I wanted to find Top and demand an explanation, on the other I wanted to avoid the situation because it was too confusing, and on someone else’s hand I just wanted to run to him and hug him. The others as well, but mainly? Him. And that was why it was good that one of the unnies was with me the rest of the night. It kept me from doing anything stupid.

During the last deafening round of cheering and applause, as the boys left the stage for the last time that night, Hae Jung appeared next to me with a message.

“The boys want to go out after the show with you and 2NE1. Okay?”

I smiled and nodded as I answered “Okay.”

“Good!” She said, leaning close to make sure she was heard over the music. “I will have Bom tell the others. Everyone will meet in the boy’s green room.” She leaned way and made a thumbs up signal which I returned. I watched as she went turned and talked with Bom who, after giving a glance in my direction and having a few more quick words with Hae Jung, smiled at me and waved, walking off to find the others.

I awkwardly stood there, hands in my pockets, as I tried to get up the courage to go see the boys. No, who was I kidding. Even now my brain was trying to trick itself, trying to deny how I felt and what I truly wanted to do. I was getting up my courage to see Top. After thinking things through for the entire last part of the show, I still had no idea how to react to this. To him. Especially with the others around. As I walked to the green room, still in a haze, my mind continued to race.

His words and that song. Did they mean what I thought they meant? Or was I over analyzing things? Possibly. He probably just mean that- what could he have meant? I went over his words in my head over and over again, not even realizing I had made it to the green room until I was standing inside it by myself.

I had thought I had been over him, or at least over him enough that I wouldn’t have this feeling in my chest thinking about him, but now I was’t so sure. Now I was even more confused. It would be easier if he had just continued to ignore me! Instead he did… he did that, and now my brain and feelings were all over the place. I felt like it would take a good two or three days to sort through all of it. And while that was impossible, at least I would be able to avoid it for a few hours, what with all of us going out to eat together now.

I shook my head quickly, trying to get my thoughts together when the door finally opened. I glanced up to watch as Mr. Confusing himself, Top, walked in and closed the door behind him. It was just the two of us in the room, and I swear my heart just about stopped. So much for having some time to think things through, huh?

We stood there looking at each other for a moment before I finally spoke up. “Where are the others?” Classy move right there. I wanted to take it back, tell him how much the song meant to me, what my feelings were, how my heart was racing just by being in the same room as him, but I couldn’t. I mean, I opened my mouth to say… something, but Top’s quick response silenced me.

“Waiting.”

I didn’t say anything, thinking he would go on. When the silence dragged on for a little while, I finally spoke. “Waiting for what?”

“To see if you are going to hit me again,” he said with a small smile.

I met his eyes briefly before I blushed and looked down. I sighed as I realized now was the perfect time to explain not only how I acted during our last encounter, but to tell him the truth about Chris. I shook my head, not looking forward to it at all but knowing it had to be done sooner rather than later. “I’m so-“ I started, but before I could even finish my apology, Top strode towards me and pulled me into a hug. I barely had time to register the shock and start to relax into the hug when he moved away. “Top-ssi, I-“

But he cut me off once again. “I am sorry.” I blinked and looked down, not knowing what to say as he continued. “So very sorry. They told me what happened. With Chris.” My eyes widened as I continued to stare at the floor, but I just nodded not certain what to say or do and knowing that looking up at that moment would be a bad idea. “I was wrong, an idiot.” I felt him take another step towards me before I heard him sigh. “I cannot say how sorry I am.”

I had to my lips once or twice before I could finally speak, my mouth had become just that dry. The fact that he knew now… That he knew what happened and was apologizing for what he said? It was more than I expected. I honestly had no idea what to do now, but after a deep breath I realized now was not the time for analyzing our conversation and trying to pick out exactly what was right to say. No, now was the time for just going with the flow. Besides, wasn’t it that over analyzing one of the things that led us to this situation? “It’s okay, Seunghyun-ssi,” I tried to smile as I looked up at him. “I shouldn’t have reacted like that and hit you.”

“I deserved it,” he scoffed as he looked away.

“No, you-“

“I did,” he turned back to me, caught my gaze, and I felt my breath catch. “It was not the thing to say. The others agree that I deserved it.”

I tried to shake my head, to clear my thoughts and remember that I needed to explain why I didn’t tell him about Chris, how I should have apologized earlier, and how the others shouldn’t have blamed him, but I just couldn’t. Especially since he immediately reached towards me and gently pulled my hand, holding it between us as he looked down at it. “I wanted to call, to try and talk to you. I was afraid you would hate me.”

I felt my heart clench as my eyes slightly teared up. I looked down as well, and I couldn’t help but laugh. Talk about two peas in a pod. Both of us feeling at fault, both of us afraid the other hated them, both of us afraid to admit- “I couldn’t hate you. I just-“ At that point I managed to snap myself out of it. Yes it was a time for honesty and explanations and revealing… things, but after a month of convincing myself to let him go, only realizing a few hours ago that I still liked him, and realizing barely an hour ago that he might have feelings for me, my brain was just too confused to handle the way he was acting, the skinship, the feelings. I pulled my hand away and turned my back towards him, taking deep even breaths as I tried to control my breathing, stop my eyes from watering, and calm my thoughts.

“What is wrong?” I heard him say from behind me but all I could do was shake my head again.

“Just… give me a moment, please?” As the silence started, my mind raced. Did I really want to tell him how I felt today? He had shown no interest when I left, and he hadn’t called- but no. I hadn’t called him either. And of course he didn’t show interest when I left, I had punched him in the gut just the day before. I couldn’t forget the cold look he gave me in the hallway outside the elevator, but I also could’t forget the warmth he had shown the night when I cried about leaving. The way he had acted before the situation with Chris, when we were just sitting at the table at the club, talking and chatting. It wasn’t as though the fight was just his fault or just mine. We both caused it and- But I was pulled away from my thoughts as I heard his voice behind me again.

“Nikky-ya?”

I kept my eyes closed as I heard him take another step until he was right behind me. I felt my heart speed up and my thoughts ground to a halt as I realized one thing: All I wanted in that moment was for him to hug me. At that exact moment, I didn’t care about anything else. No, all that mattered was the fact that while I was feeling horrible, I wanted his comfort. And even more than that I wanted to comfort him. That sad look he had when he said he knew what happened with Chris, the way he said he deserved to be hit? It made me want to hug him and hold him. But I wasn’t going to make the first move. I could, but that small fear of rejection was still there, so I waited. But instead of hugging me, he sighed and I felt movement around me. No, not as in a hug, but something else. I opened my eyes to look in the mirror as I felt something cold land on me, right below my neck, and all I could do was gasp.

Around my neck was none other than the infinity heart necklace I had seen in the jewelry store on 5th avenue. The one that had been so out of my price range I had almost laughed. I watched as Top made a face trying to work the clasp in the back and suddenly all the happiness that I had been pushing away, trying not to feel, trying to suppressso I wouldn’t be hurt again came crashing over me in an instant. Theworries I had been chasing around in my head over and over again vanished. The storm that had been in my brain suddenly cleared and I was filled with just two feelings: hope and happiness. When our eyes meet in the mirror, we both blushed and it took all of my strength not to look away.

“I wanted to give this to you that night. I wanted to tell you then that… that I liked you.” He looked away for a second and I felt myself smile a little at how awkward he seemed as he tried to find the right words. “We only knew each other for a week and you were leaving, I could not stop liking you. It was silly but-“

I cut him off as I turned around. “I know. I- I liked you too. I mean, I like you,” I said as I blushed even more and looked down, fiddling with the necklace, “I still do. I just didn’t… Well the fact that I was leaving made me think it would be best to just forget.”

“Forget?”

“That I liked you,” I said with a shrug. “There was no way to get to know each other more, have fun, spend time together, so…” I glanced up at him and tried not to let me breath catch at the smile he was giving me. “Since there was no way, it would just be easier to forget.”

“I see. And now?” He asked, his smile turning into a little bit of a smirk.

“N-now?” I blushed as I stuttered and looked down again. “Now I guess we might have the time.”

I heard him chuckle before he gently grabbed my chin and made me look up at him. “Yes, now we have time.” I felt him lean towards me and I couldn’t stop my gaze from darting down to his lips. My breath caught as his eyes caught mine again and before I could register anything else, I felt his lips on mine. My eyes fluttered close at the feeling of his soft lips pressing gently once, twice, again, his fingers leaving my chin as his hands framed my face before moving down to my waist. My arms instinctively rose up until I was hugging him around his neck, keeping our lips pressed together -

“Hyung, I don’t hear anything!” We pulled apart and I felt my face become beet red as I heard the Korean on the other side of the door. I tried to move away, dropping my arms from around his neck until they were placed against his chest, but his arms on my waist kept me in place. I looked up at him and tried not to giggle at his expression. It was a mixture of happiness and annoyance with a tad bit of smugness in his smirk. “What if she hit him again?” I actually did giggle as we heard a distinct smack from the other side of the door, wondering what in the world was going on. Top shook his head as another voice joined in. “Seungri-ya, shut up. If she hit him, he deserved it. Now stop listening and leave them alone.”

Top laughed as I just bit my lip, feeling a bit awkward in his embrace. “So… what were they talking about?”

“They were trying to decide if you beat me or not.”

I raised an eyebrow as he let me pull back a little before I smirked up at him. “Am I really that scary, Seunghyun-ssi?” He just raised an eyebrow back in return and I laughed. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

He chuckled as well before leaning down and whispering in my ear. “But I like it.” I blushed and tried to pull away even more, looking away from him as he chuckled. “And I like when you blush.”

“Stop it,” I said with a little laugh, the butterflies in my stomach making it difficult to breath or concentrate, let alone talk.

Suddenly he stopped pulling me closer again. “But you know what I like most?”

“What?” I said, still not willing to look at him. When he didn’t answer I finally took a deep breath and went for it. The second our eyes met I felt my breath catch.

“You,” he said in a whisper. The look on his face and in his eyes? I honestly do not know how to describe it. It felt like for that second, for that moment that we were looking at each other, I was all he saw and he was all I saw. This wasn’t love, not yet. But it was something. Love took trust and respect and time. But now? We had the opportunity to nurture whatever this was. I felt my lips turn up in a small smile as my brain quickly registered these thoughts before it was distracted once more. I saw him glance down at my lips before leaning towards me, my eyes fluttering closed as I realized, finally, that everything had fallen into place. Fate had led me here, and as our lips met and we pulled each other closer, I swore I wouldn’t let this, let him, slip through my fingers again.

------- THE END -------

Or is it?

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A/N: and there you have it! The end of Big Bang's Newest Noona. I honestly never thought I'd reach this point. I probably wouldn't have if it weren't for you guys!!! You inspire me to keep going. Not just with this story, but when I was having trouble in real life as well. So for that I say Thank you! I live each and every one of you and I am so glad you stuck thru this with me ^_^

Also- please don't unsubscribe. I know the story is over but... there will be a special surprise in a little bit for those who stick around ;P

Hope you all enjoyed the ride, and here is hoping you join me for what is in store next ;p Lots of Love, ~Kiki~