I knew exactly who I wanted to talk to first. It was about time for the boys to get ready for the show, so I simply followed Jiyong back to the dressing room and waited. I joked around with him and the other three and tried my hardest to keep my excitement in check until I could talk with the one person still missing. Finally, with just a few minutes to spare, he walked in.

I waited until the others had greeted him and started talking to each other again before I walked over. “Um, Top-ssi?” I had to wait a few seconds before he looked at me. “Can I talk to you for a second? Um, alone?” He raised an eyebrow, but stayed motionless beyond that. “Please? I promise it will just take a minute.” He finally sighed and stood up, motioning me ahead of him without saying a single word. I was starting to feel nervous, worried that his bad mood might make this a bad time to tell him, but surely… Surely hearing this would cheer him up, right?

We walked out the door and into the dressing room next door, which I had already talked Cho Hee-unnie into letting us borrow. Said conversation went something like this: “Unnie, is the dressing room next to us being used?” “Only for clothes. Why?” “Oh, well I wanted to talk to Top in private and was wondering if I could use it?” “Hmm… Okay, but do not do anything bad.” She accompanied the bad with a wink and it was only then that I realized what she meant. Talk about embarrassing. She had given me a 5 minute time limit, but I doubt I needed that long. Hell, I was just telling him that I was going to be hired on permanently. How long could that really take?

It probably wouldn’t have taken that long, if this had gone according to plan. Which, by the way, they did not. I mean, do they ever really?

---

I walked into the dressing room in front of Top and just leaned against the counter for a moment, smiling. He, in turn, walked into the room, let the door shut, and then crossed his arms and waited, his face expressionless. I finally my lips and coughed, trying to figure out how to say what I wanted. Whether it would be better to tell him about being hired on permanently first or try to figure out what was wrong with him, that was the question.

“So… are you feeling better?” I looked over at him apprehensively, but that seemed to be the exact opposite of what I should have said, if his rolling eyes told me anything.

“Did you want to say something?” He asked me in what had to be the coldest tone I had ever heard. I felt my face start to fall into a frown but took a deep breath to settle my emotions.

“Actually, yes. I just talked with Jiyong and-” I started before I felt the phone in my back left pocket vibrate. That was weird. I had both my personal phone and my work phone on me right now, in case of an emergency at home you know, with the right pocket being my work phone. The left? That was my personal phone. So why was it ringing? “Oh, sorry, hold on a second,” I smiled apologetically as I reached in and pulled out my phone. It was a text from a number I had never seen before, but when I read it, I felt my blood run cold.

Hello sweetness. I think we should try & work out our misunderstanding. Whatcha think? –Chris.

I froze for the second time that day, only this time the emotion was very, very different. Instead of my mind being frozen with excitement, it was running at a hundred thoughts per minute on pure fear. How did he get my number? How did he- no, why did he text me? What did he want? What was going on? I felt my mouth become dry and my heart start to race. I managed to keep myself from hyperventilating when I heard Top’s voice, laced with a tiny bit of concern. “Is something wrong?”

“What?” I glanced up before hastily shoving my phone back into my pocket. I my lips again, trying to get my mouth wet enough to be able to talk again. “No, no, it’s- it’s nothing.”

“Are you sure?” He took a step towards me and I glanced up to see that the concern was written all over his face. It was when I saw that that I finally felt a little bit better. That small reminder that this group of guys did care about me, and would protect me if I needed, was just enough to help me try and push the event back into the box it had broken out of.

I tried to smile at Top in reassurance as I answered. “Yeah, it’s okay. It was just,” I had to stop a second and take a breath before I could say his name. “Just Chris.” I looked up at Top and instantly his whole demeanor changed. His face went from that concerned look to one of almost disgust. His body language changed as well as he shoved his hands into his pockets and turned away from me slightly.

“Oh. Your boyfriend, huh?”

I felt myself shudder and the tone of his voice most definitely made me defensive. It was almost accusatory, and with what I had gone through- “No,” I said, trying to keep my voice deadpan. He didn’t know. I reminded myself that he didn’t know. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t be saying anything like that.

“You sure?” he said with a sneer as he looked in my direction. He was only a couple of inches taller than me, but the way he was looking down his nose at me made me feel only two feet tall. And that raised my back up instantly. I felt all of the anger, all the desperation, the hatred that I had towards Chris and towards that situation simmering. I had no idea those emotions had even been there, most likely because it had been hidden inside the box that hid the fear. But Top? He was busting that box wide open, and he had no idea.

“Yes I am sure,” I said with almost a snarl as I turned my back to him. I knew that if I didn’t calm down soon, I would end up saying something mean. It wasn’t even Top that I was angry with. Okay, that was a bit of a lie. I was angry with him. I said Chris wasn’t my boyfriend the night before. In fact, I didn’t even like him. I hated his guts in fact. I knew who I liked, but right now they were being a complete and utter jerk.

“Could have fooled me.” I saw him shrug in the mirror and took a steadying breath, not even sure of what to say. “The way you threw yourself at him-“

“The way I what?!” I turned and could not help myself. I yelled the last word at him and stomped over until I was right in front of him. “What the hell? You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Oh really?” He said with a horrible smirk. I wanted to slap it off of his face, but I was controlling myself. Or at least I was trying to. “You seemed pretty close that first night. And then last night…” He trailed off before his smirk turned into a sneer. “I saw you sneak off with him. Were you really that desperate?”

I clenched my fists at my side and glared up at him, tears starting to form in my eyes. “I was not desperate. How dare you think something like that! What the hell did you even see?!” He thought what?! I felt my brain processing everything and beneath the anger I was feeling was a small ball of fear. The thought that he might have seen something, might have known or done something…

I expected him to back away, maybe get angry and rant, or, I don’t know, something. But he just glared down at me, the sneer long gone and a scowl in place. “I saw you go to the patio with him. Is that why you said ok to the club last night? To visit him?”

I felt a small surge of relief that he didn’t know- hadn’t seen- but no. Here he was thinking- Argh! I just wanted to scream at him at that moment, but I had to continue to control myself. Well, control myself as best as I could. “No, I did not go to see him,” I basically spat out the last word.

“Sure you did. You came when he called, just like a-“ The sneer was back, and, though I didn’t know what sort of dirty language Top knew, I knew where this was going. I was going to have none of it. Friend or not. Crush or not. There was no way I was ever going to let anyone talk about me in that way. Me or anyone else I cared about.

“Don’t.” I cut him off and gave him my dirtiest look at that moment. “Don’t go there Seunghyun-ssi.” I raised a hand and tried to steady the shaky finger I was pointing at him. My voice had dropped an octave as I tried to keep it even. Tried to keep my temper in check. Tried to keep the tears from falling since I knew exactly what he thought of me at that moment. I knew, but if he said it… hearing him say it, especially with what almost happened. I didn’t know if I could take it. “You have no idea what you are talking about.”

“Do I not?!” He suddenly yelled, the calm demeanor cracked open, and I jumped, the a few stray tears spilling from my eyes. “You say one thing, and act like- but all you wanted was a guy to sleep with. To !” I couldn’t stop the gasp that came out of my mouth then. My emotions were going haywire. Anger, sadness, rage, these emotions were going through my head so quickly I couldn’t keep them straight. Why he would think that… Why he would say that… How dare he even think that… “You know what you are, Nikky?” He said, his voice also dropping down low as he took a step towards me until I had to look almost straight up to maintain eye contact. “I had to look up the word, but now I know.” He glared down at me with such anger and disgust that the only way I knew to respond was to glare back, even with the tears piling up in my eyes again. I would be damned if I would let someone intimidate me when they were in the middle of insulting me. Especially since I was almost certain I knew what he would say next.

“Do not say it, Seunghyun.” If he was going to drop the honorifics, damn it, so was I. “That is not a line you want to cross.” It was a line that I knew I had to draw, one that, once crossed, might be impossible to come back from. Surely he knew that. Surely he would see it. I started to move to walk past him but he grabbed right above my elbow, and I let out a hiss. He had grabbed right over the bruise I had the night before. I stopped and bit my tongue as I stopped and turned to him. All of the shame, hurt, and anger spilled out as I met his eyes and glared back.

“Are you sure I do not?” He asked, meeting my glare with one of his own, his anger matching my own. I heard a noise behind him, and though a small part of me realized what it must be, the rest of me was frozen. I was fully focused on the man in front of me and what he was saying, what he said just soft enough for me to hear. “.”

I felt my world crumble down. I was just lucky that I was angry enough at that moment not to succumb to how much it hurt, otherwise who knows what would have happened. No, that anger, that thankful, righteous anger that had caused me to tear Jiyong a new one just a few days before, was what kept me on my feet. It gave me the strength not to crumble and cry. Unfortunately, it also gave me the strength and the lack of foresight to retaliate. After the first gasp, I felt my resolve harden, especially as he looked at me with that sneer, his hand still gripping my arm. I honestly have no idea why I did it, but I pulled my hand back and let it fly. Yet I didn’t slap him. I knew that that would leave a mark and Cho Hee-unnie? She’d be pissed. No, I reeled back and slammed my fist right into his gut. He hadn’t been expecting it, I could tell, especially when it left him gasping and he dropped to his knees, finally letting go of my bruised arm in the process. I felt like I could barely breathe and I knew the tears had finally started streaming down my face, but when I looked up from him, all I could see were the four people standing at the door.

“Noona,” I heard one of them say, though I have no idea which one. Hell, I barely realized who they were at that moment. The righteous anger was losing out to the realization that the man I liked, respected, and wanted to stay with thought that I was- I couldn’t even think it. I felt myself take a shaky, gaspy breath in as the sobs started building up and I knew I didn’t have much time. I swiped my hand across my eyes, trying to clear them of as many tears as possible before I hurried past the guy I had just punched, pushed through the boys who had promised to keep my secret, and raced towards the closest bathroom, locking myself in before I collapsed on the floor and just sobbed.

---

A/N: I will say this again. Please don't hate me. I realize it may seem a little out of character, but T.O.P. himself has admitted he has a temper and gets angry/ yells, so... 

And I'm sorry that it wasn't the lovey heart-felt reunion you all had wanted, heh. Looks like my romatic comedy is sort of taking a dark turn, huh? Hope you all still want to keep readying though >.< I won't say enjoy it since, well, I wanted to punch something just writing it, but I hope you want to see what is next! Which, by the way, won't be until next week sometime. This is the last chapter before I leave for New York.... Love me?