--A/N- just assume anytime he is talking with the other guys, it is in Korean, but if it is with Nikky they are all speaking English--

When the others were done explaining the entire situation, Seunghyun was simply glad that it was Jiyong and Daesung on either side of him. As much as he liked and respected the other two members, these two were the ones who could sense when he was getting upset, were really the only two he listened to, and therefore the only ones who had a chance of keeping him from exploding. Which is why he was glad they were still next to him, each with a hand on him, as the retelling finished. Jiyong was leaning forward with a hand on his knee while Daesung had turned slightly towards him, his arm on the back of the couch and his hand on his shoulder. He could feel himself shaking with anger as he went over what he was just told. Anger at Chris, anger at the guys for keeping it from him, anger at her for not saying anything, but mostly? Anger at himself.

He knew they were speaking to him then, Jiyong and Daesung, but he didn’t pay much attention. Something about how Jiyong was still considering going back to New York to kick someone’s while Daesung spoke of how much it had heart to see Nikky like that. They continued speaking, but he just tuned them out. He appreciated the thought, but he had much more pressing things on his mind.

He finally stood up and paced as his thoughts raced. He had called her such horrible things, and to think that she heard those names after what almost happened. He wanted to punch something. No, he wanted to get into a fight and lose. Lose horribly. He deserved it. He deserved her punch. Hell, he deserved so much more than that. He was actually surprised that was all she had done. She should have yelled at him, screamed at him even, but no. She had said nothing. He shook his head before glancing around the silent room. He knew they were waiting for his reaction, but would they really understand why he hated himself at that moment? No. But they deserved to understand. To understand not only his reaction, but why she had every reason to hate him.

“I- I have a confession.” He leaned against the counter and closed his eyes. “You remember the fight I had with Nikky?”

“Yes,” Taeyang answered hesitantly before Top took a shuddering breath and began his retelling.

---

Of course, he was interrupted before he truly finished. As soon as he told them what he had said that caused her to punch him, the room exploded.

“You said what?!”

“What the hell man!”

“Hyung, how could you!”

Top kept his eyes closed under the onslaught and raised his voice to be heard. “I was angry! I didn’t actually mean to say it, I just couldn’t help myself!”

“That is no excuse,” Taeyang said as he moved towards the older man. “Hyung, you never, ever say anything like that to a woman. Even if you are angry.”

Seungri took a step towards him as well. “Especially not noona.”

But it was Daesung’s reply that really hit him the hardest as the younger man stayed on the couch, head hung low. “Hyung,” he asked quietly, “how could you?”

Seunghyun turned his back to the others and hung his head. Shamefully he yelled “I didn’t know!” before taking a shaky breath and repeating, this time much quieter “I… I didn’t know.” He trailed off and closed his eyes until he felt a hand on his shoulder. He opened them and turned to see the maknae next to him, a sad smile on his face as he rubbed his hyung’s shoulder.

“It’s alright, Top-hyung. You’re right. You didn’t know. I understand.”

“Understand?! What-“ Jiyong was silenced as the maknae shot him a stern and angry look. Seunghyun was speechless as it was the first time he had ever seen the maknae stand up to their leader in any way. He was even more surprised when Jiyong sighed and shook his head as he sat down once more. “You really need to watch your temper, hyung.”

"I know," he sighed as he turned and leaned against the counter, his thoughts racing once more. He felt horrible, almost sick to his stomach. His head shot up and his eyes grew wide as he turned to Seungri. "Is she okay? When you put her on the plane, was she still upset?" He didn't stop even as the maknae opened his mouth to answer. "How is she now? Have you talked to her yet?" He wanted to ask if he had come up, if she had spoken about him, just how much she hated him, but when Jiyong started speaking he stopped.

"She was pretty upset," the leader said, not looking at the older man. "The night of the concert, we had to get Cho Hee to get her out of the bathroom since she was crying so hard." Silence filled the room as Seunghyun waited, hoping one of the others would disagree and say it hadn’t been that bad, but no. He raised a hand to his forehead as his eyes closed and he tried to control his temper and his anger at himself. He hadn't even thought about her after she had left the dressing room except to be angry with her. It wasn't until after the concert that he felt horrible for what he had said. Yet even when he had the chance later at the hotel, he hadn't apologized. And he needed to apologize. Oh god did he need to apologize.

"She cried when she was leaving, too," Jiyong spoke up again, breaking Seunghyun from his thoughts. "Not a lot, but she was pretty broken up about it."

"And," Taeyang interjected before he looked up, waiting until he made eye contact with the older man before he continued, "she was looking for you."

For the umpteenth time that evening, he felt his breath catch. "She was- what?"

"Looking. For you." Dae sighed as he shook his head, still seated on the couch. "Noona was hoping you would show up to say goodbye."

"Not that she admitted it," Jiyong joined in.

"But," Seungri said with a sigh as well, "we all knew."

The words Seunghyun had run through before to describe himself seemed paltry now. No, he was pretty sure he would have to invent a new word in order to truly describe how much of an he felt like at that moment. The urge to apologize was so great, he pulled out his phone. Should he call her? What if she wouldn't answer. What if she hung up on him? He needed to apologize, and he needed to get her forgiveness, to see her smile and wipe away the last image he had of her in his mind: staring up at him in shock outside the elevator, trying to keep a neutral face and failing to hide the hurt and the few tears. But... thinking about that look. Would she actually forgive him? After all he had done? He turned towards the others as he voiced his concern, trying to keep his voice from portraying how worried he was. "Do-" he stopped to clear his throat. "Do you think she will forgive me?"

Seungri gave a  small smile from next to him. "Hyung, from the way she was acting before she left, she already has."

"Yes," Daesung continued. "Noona isn't one to get angry and stay angry."

Taeyang gave a small chuckle as he picked up the conversation. "Look at when she fought with Ji. He was being a -"

"Hey!"

"-but she blamed herself afterwards," he finished, ignoring the leader's outburst.

"She even thought she should apologize to me and take the blame. How silly is that?" Jiyong said with a smile.

Seunghyun started pacing as he thought. If the others were right, he still needed to apologize. She might have forgiven him, but he had yet to forgive himself. He needed to do something to make it up to her, maybe... "I need to do something," he said hesitantly as he stopped pacing. "I- I should go see her in person and apologize."

"No," Jiyong spoke up instantly. When his elder turned a glare towards him, he raised his hands. "Hyung, I'm sorry but we have a schedule. Concerts, performing at MAMA, practicing, working on our solo songs? Not to mention you have to film every spare second you can at home." He shrugged as he leaned back on the couch. "There's just no time to go and see her."

"Then what can I do?!" He took a deep breath as he realized just how much he had raised his voice. "I'm sorry, but... I need to apologize. I need to talk with her. She-" he stopped as he tried to figure out how to explain himself. "She deserves so much more than what I did. How I left it."

"Well, how about calling her?" Taeyang asked even as Jiyong let out a snort.

"Youngbae-ya, you can't just talk about this and apologize over the phone."

"Why not?"

"Because," the one more experienced with break ups and apologies replied. "You just... you just can't."

"Hyung is right," Seungri interjected. "It is hard to tell how serious someone is being over the phone. She won’t know just how sorry he is, how sincere he is, and she might doubt him. Then when she sees him in Osaka, she won't know what to think."

Seunghyun's head immediately swung towards the maknae. "In Osaka?"

"Yes, the concert?" Daesung replied, confused. When he saw the older man's vacant expression, he jumped up from the couch, stepped closer to Seunghyun, and his face broke into a smile. "Oh! Hyung! Noona is coming to see us perform in Osaka."

Every single thought instantly froze in his brain. "What?" She. Was coming. To Osaka.

"She-" Daesung started to repeat himself before Seunghyun put his hand up and covered his younger friend's mouth.

"No, wait, hold on," he said as his thoughts started up again. Osaka was just over a month away. Could he wait that long? Would it be too late? Oh god he hoped not. Because he needed to do something to show- no, to prove- just how sorry he was. And since Jiyong and Seungri, his two friends who –he was ashamed to admit- had more experience than he did, said not over the phone, calling her was out. Plus, he truthfully sort of agreed. Over the phone was too impersonal. And this? It needed to be personal. It needed to prove to her. Whatever he did, he just needed her to forgive him. Even if she didn't like him, he just needed to let her know how stupid he had been, how he knew he hadn't been good to her, but that didn't mean he was a bad- And just like that, he came up with a plan. A crazy plan, one that would take a lot of planning, a lot of work, and a lot of help, but looking around the room he was almost certain the others would give him what he needed. "I-" he stopped until they all were looking directly at him. "I have an idea. I don't know if it will work, or if I can wait, but I want to try. And... I will need help."

---

The next few weeks seemed to fly by. Of course, on some days they seemed to drag on endlessly, but those days were few and far between. Seunghyun worked his hardest during those days, harder than he had in a very long time. He wanted to show to her, to prove to her that the he was not the jerk she had seen so often during their week together. But he was worried. Worried about how she would reacted, worried about whether she could forgive him, worried about whether his plan would work or not. But he didn’t let any of that keep him from trying his hardest. And Seungri was right there with him the entire time. He sometimes forgot just how sincere and hard working their maknae actually was. Seungri helped him during that time, as much as Seunghyun would let him. But the one thing that Seungri did the most that helped? He gave his hyung encouragement. Encouragement about her and the fact that he belived –no, he knew- his hyung still had a chance.

During that time, Seunhyun felt better than he had in months, and it showed. He did his best to be nicer to everyone, to try his hardest at everything, to do everything at 110%. Well, almost everything. He smiled more, joked around with the other guys more often, and tried to be nicer to them and the fans. That was another place where Seungri came in handy. True, he was tired of the choreography, and he just could not bring himself to hit every single position correctly like the others, but with Seungri’s help, he made sure he showed his love to the fans in other ways. From forming hearts with his arms to attacking both fans and the other members with water and even to chooming every chance he had, he did it all. And for Seungri’s birthday? As much as the younger boy complained afterwards, the smile he tried to hide during the scolding and the screams he had heard from the fans told him he had done well.

As the day of the concert got closer, Seunghyun became more and more nervous. Nervous about the plan and nervous about her. From the beginning, he had asked the others, mainly Daesung and Seungri, how she was doing anytime they spoke with her, but by the last week or two it became almost funny. It actually got to the point where Daesung would immediately text his hyung after getting off of Skype to give him the latest update. Easier on both ends and Daesung didn’t have to worry about the possibility of becoming annoyed at his hyung.

Finally, the day before the concert arrived. Even after rehearsal, he still made the others sit down at the hotel together to go over the plan for the next day. Everything needed to be absolutely perfect. Yet as the others left for bed, he realized he was the one most likely to mess up. With those thoughts he went to bed, but it was only after a bottle or so of win that he was able to fall asleep. And even then he was up and ready before the others. A combination of motivation, excitement, and nervousness can do wonders when it comes to waking up on time.

The atmosphere on the ride over and in the dressing room was filled with excitement. While Daesung and Seungri couldn’t stop smiling and laughing and talking, Seunghyun was quiet, quieter than usual. Even as he was scolded for the dark circles under his eyes, he didn’t say anything. Even when 2NE1 showed up for a visit and spent some time catching up with the others, he was silent. On the outside others might think he appeared cool, calm, even slightly detatched. Inside? He felt giddy and nervous, almost exactly like how he had felt before their debut.

And though he stayed silent and appeared calm, his thoughts were racing. Had she landed yet? Had the flight been alright? Was she feeling well? Jet lagged? Did she bring warm enough clothes? Should he call her now? Or the noonas maybe? His hands kept fidgeting, locking and unlocking his phone, scrolling thru news articles. In truth, he wasn’t even listening to the others anymore. He would glance up at them, but quickly glance towards what he was really looking for, his bag. He wanted to glance inside, check to make sure- but he didn’t. He stayed where he was and pretended to be at least somewhat paying attention to what was going on around him.

It was around 5 minutes till places and the noonas still hadn’t called to say they were on their way, so with a sigh Seunghyun resigned himself to having to wait till after sound check to see her. When he heard the door open, he glanced at it, expecting to see one of the managers sticking their head in to give the 5 minute call, but instead, his breath caught. She was there. Finally. Nikky had shown up.

“Hello?” she asked, peaking in, a smile playing across her face. The room was silent for a moment as everyone took a second to comprehend what was happening. Seunghyun wanted to jump up, race over to her, and hug her, telling her how much he had missed her. But he didn’t. He stayed where he was while the others took action.

“Noona!” The maknae line yelled, grins bursting from both of their faces.

“Nikky!” Taeyang said, standing up and smiling as she entered.

Jiyong, however, waved as he gave a happy “Hey!”

The two eldest of 2NE1 actually laughed as they said “Finally”.

Minzy and CL joining them in their laughter as Seungri ran over and almost toppled Nikky with a hug. Oh how Seunghyun wished he was in the maknae’s shoes for once. While the youngest was getting a hug and acknowledgement back from Nikky, he was stuck leaning against the counter, using all of his will power to stay where he was. Yet even with all of his acting ability, he couldn’t keep a small smile off of his face. Luckily, everyone’s eyes were on the reunion happening by the door, so no one noticed that little slip.

“Let Nikky breath,” Taeyang said as he watched the leader pry the youngest away from his noona. “Hey,” he said with a grin, joined by Jiyong before they looked at each other and hugged her from either side, causing her to laugh as she replied.

“Hey yourself, Youngbae.” She grinned as she glanced between the two. “Hey Jiyong.”

It was the next greeting that almost broke Seunghyun. The glance that was exchanged between the two before Daesung and Nikky both stepped towards each other, made him both happy and jealous, as did watching Daesung quickly envelope her in a hug. But the way he said “I missed you, noona,” made the older man quickly forget his jealousy. Yes, he had been waiting and anticipating Nikky’s visit, but he wasn’t the only one who had let her into his heart.

“I missed you too, Daesunggie,” Nikky told him as he pulled away. Seunghyun had to bite his lip to keep from smiling more at the picture of the two of them standing there, her arm around his waist, his arm around her shoulders, the picture of sibling love. Even as they grinned together, their eyes became matching lines and he had to look away briefly to work at containing his happiness. But he immediately looked back when she said “I missed all of you.” Their eyes met a second later and he was ashamed to admit that for a brief second it felt like his heart stopped. “Hey Top-ssi.”

It took a second for him to be able to answer, especially at the arrow he felt pierce him when she addressed him so formally. “Hey,” he replied as he mentally kicked himself for not being able to act more suave, more cool, more up to his image. He did his best to remain casual as his brain raced, trying to think of something to say. “How was the flight?”

He watched as she smiled slightly. “It was good. Longer than I thought it would be.” Their eyes held for another few seconds before she looked away. As he tried to think of something else to say, the maknae came to his rescue.

“Yes, it is a long flight,” Seungri agreed as he stepped closer to Nikky. “But you are here now! Are you excited for show?”

She let out a soft laugh as she stepped away from Daesung. “You have no idea.” She turned as the two noonas entered the room and closed the door behind them, and when she turned back her face couldn’t contain the huge grin on it. “Actually, I’m really excited about something else. But I didn’t know how to tell you.”

Jiyong spoke up with an “Oh?” before he suddenly smirked. He opened his mouth to say something when Nikky quickly continued.

“My company transferred me to a new place. Here actually. Osaka.” She smiled as she spoke, glancing around at everyone. “I start next week and starting January 1st, I am an official member of the YG entertainment staff in Japan.” She bit her lip adorably as she clasped her hands in front of her, all eyes on the boys in the room as they processed the information.

At that moment, they were all speechless. Oh the inside, Seunghyun was having his own private party. On the outside, for the second time that day, he wanted to grin and shout, jump up and down, hug her, k- but Dae and Ri beat him to it as they raced over and enveloped her in a hug. It was difficult to tell what all was being said except for Taeyang, who was smiling and had come to stand next to his hyung, hands in his pockets. “So that is why she kept getting giggly,” he remarked with a laugh.

Seunghyun saw the younger one look at him sideways, but he made no motion, instead keeping his body still and his mouth shut. He was terrified to say or do anything at that moment. Terrified that he would give in and hug her now, apologize now, and ruin what was planned. They had worked so hard to prepare everything. They had spent so much time planning, having had to beg and plead and promise a million things to finally get YG to agree to it. So? He had to wait, had to hold himself back. Yet in the end, he realized he couldn’t. As they were leaving to head to the sound check, his will crumbled. He stopped right as he was passing her and put a hand on her shoulder lightly, smiling at her as he spoke. “Congratulations,” he said quickly, biting his tongue to keep himself from saying anything else as he dropped his hand and continued out the door.

It took every ounce of his strength not to run back in and gather her in his arms, whispering how sorry he was, but how happy he was that she was back. He still remembered how it felt to hug her… He stopped in the hallway as the tiny bit of will power crumbled. Surely it would be alright. She would still understand, it would still work, even if he went in now to-

His thoughts stopped as a hand grabbed his arm as he was in mid-turn. He turned back to find Jiyong in front of him. “Come on, we’re going to be late.”

“But-“ he glanced over his shoulder at the closed green room door as Jiyong gave his arm a squeeze.

“Look hyung, trust me. Just… wait, okay?”

The older man glanced from his friend to the door before he finally let all of his breath out in a sigh, his resolve building back up as he squared his shoulders. “Alright,” he said with a nod as he slipped on his sunglasses and headed towards the stage with Jiyong at his side.

---

And from that point on, he hardly went a moment without one of the other members at his side. He was afraid that the second he was alone, the second he had the chance, he would head towards Nikky and the plan would be ruined. So he stuck by the others like glue back stage. On stage? He did his best to be larger than life. Of course, as the concert drew on, he became more and more nervous. He realized that it wasn’t the others who he had to be worried about, it was himself. He was the one who was most likely to mess up, to ruin all of their plans. Yet while he was constantly aware of Nikky’s presence in the wings, he did his best to stay away and concentrate on the fans and the stage. Talk about difficult.

So when the time came for that final costume change, he was done in record time. He was never ready early for any of his changes, but this time? This time was different. This time was special.

When he was done, he hurried to the wing and managed to find a place to stand that was out of the way, but with the perfect view. He could see her, well mainly her silhouette, as she watched Daesung perform Wings, and the smile that formed was impossible to banish. The way she swayed and bounced along to the song made him chuckle. Her child-like enthusiasm for things still amazed him, but seeing her like this just made his heart flutter. She looked… happy. His face fell as he realized he almost didn’t want to continue with the plan. What if it upset her? Or caused her to cry? What if she had gotten over it and didn’t want to be reminded? She hadn’t gone out of her way to speak with him, just like he hadn’t gone out of his way with her so… perhaps it was best to just leave it?

No, he thought to himself as she joined the audience in applause for Daesung. He needed to do this. For himself and for her. And even if she was over it, at least after this he could start to get over it as well.

Seunghyun stood there, his body starting to hum in anticipation as he waited, waited until just the right moment. They had timed it out during rehearsal the night before. Exactly what the others were going to say, exactly how long they were going to take, before it was his cue.

He took a deep breath and lurched forward out of his hiding space as he heard the others asking the audience about the next song, covering the space as quickly as possible. He did his best to not give her time to sense him or move before he reached her. Without a word, he hugged her. He tried to keep his breath from catching, his heart from pounding, but it was difficult. He remembered how she felt in his arms when he hugged her before, just like this, and he let out a small sigh before putting his chin on her shoulder and whispering “I am sorry.” He had to close his eyes to help himself concentrate as he spoke, afraid that he might glance at her and ruin his plan. “Words cannot say how sorry I am. For everything. I hope you understand...” His breath finally caught at that moment. He had more he wanted to say. He hoped she would forgive, would give him another chance. But he had anticipated something like that happening. He had learned that while it was difficult to express things with words, music was different.  In his mind music? Music could express everything. “This song is for you.”

With difficulty he let her go and walked on stage. With difficulty he didn’t look back, but instead took his spot, concentrating on controlling his breathing and preparing himself for the song he had requested. The song he had wrote for another girl years before. For another heart he had broken. Maybe, just maybe, this time he wasn’t too late.

-- A/N- His thoughts are in blue --

[Chorus]

I wouldn’t be like this if I was a good man                                                            Why did I hurt you so?

But I am not a bad man, right?                                                                               I promised myself I wouldn’t get close

Please don’t say it was a misunderstanding                                                         Promised I’d close my heart off

A wrinkled sentimental heart, my last pride thrown away                                   Liking someone only leads to pain

[Jiyong] I met you after long, long wait; this is heaven’s play (a joke)                  But then you showed up

Rain stops when it comes down, I just have to hide when lightening strikes     Not only a foreigner, but a fan?

In a dream without you, I wander around everyday, 24 hours                              I couldn’t, no wouldn’t, let myself fall for you

I am anxious to know if you are doing well, if you fell asleep already                 But I failed… and now I can’t stop thinking

[Daesung] Oh please on more time dance with me tonight                      Just to hold you in my arms once more

A sweet time with you in my dream again tonight                                       To make you smile and laugh again

Stories we shared as we matched our feet calmly                                      Sharing our troubles, soothing our hurts…

[Jiyong] Stream water is like a toxic                                                                Why did I let myself forget

Looks for key to maze of reality                                                                     Just what type of girl you really are?

[Youngbae] Is my stunning love a tear of misunderstanding                   To think that I let myself get jealous

A bouquet that I put my last hope in                                                              To think I said those painful things to you

[Daesung+Youngbae] Heart that was stepped on is harassing me        How you must have hurt, how you must have cried

[Jiyong] OK think in a different point of view, I am sorry dear                   I don’t deserve it, but I beg… please forgive me

[Repeat Chorus]

[TOP] Lost appetite, a wallet to take out a picture again                            I want to see your smiling face again

Checking an empty inbox in cell phone like a fool                                    Not on my phone anymore, but in person

[Seungri] I will erase everything because of yearning,                              If you say no, I’ll leave, I promise

the way of doing it without any evidences                                                     I won’t bother you or hurt you again

[TOP] One man’s pureness is romantic,                                                       But I just want that one last chance

a shout from deep inside of his heart                                                            Just once more, I need it

Time will solve it, a stinging whip called separation                                   With all my heart and soul, oh please

[Jiyong](Please have only a bit of caffeine and alcohol)                           Anything, I’ll do anything

My reflection in the mirror ignores me                                                           Just please… don’t hate me

[Repeat Chorus]

[TOP/Youngbae] Pride that I persisted turns                                                I won’t admit to the others

into tears on eyes that didn’t move at all                                                       That I shed tears because of this

Rain drops lightly; She can’t forget about me yet                                        But the pain I saw in your eyes?

(You can’t forget me) (x2)                                                                                 It burns me day and night

A good person (She can’t forget me)                                                             If only I hadn’t been stupid, if only I had known

A bad person (I forget you)                                                                              I this it isn’t love, at least not yet

A good person, a bad person                                                                         That takes trust, that takes respect

I, I, I am a bad person                                                                                      But I beg please, just give me one more chance

[Repeat Chorus]

-A/N: I am SO sorry this took so long >.< I actually finished this chapter on Monday while at work. I went to send it to my home email and the file? Was gone. 6000 words. It had been perfect. Needless to say, I was pissed. So pissed that it took me till today to go back and finish the chapter. It’s not nearly as epic and I am SO sorry!  Please forgive me!!! 

On another note… what did you think? I decided that I liked writing from TOP’s POV enough that I wanted to do it at least once more, lol. But after writing it? I sort of hate it, blargh. I hope it doesn't ruin things for you guys!

So, the next chapter will be the last one, with an epilogue after that. But don’t worry, I’m not done writing ^_^ I have two stories I’ve already started (one is a 2/3-shot that I’m gonna post and finish as soon as BBNN is over), plus another two that I’ve got the plot down for! But I wanted to ask first… would any of you be interested in a sequel? You don’t have to answer now, since you don’t actually know exactly how the story is going to end, but keep in mind that it is a possibility if you guys want!

Anyways, I heart all of you, and can’t wait to see what you think about this chapter and the next (very last!!!) one! <3