This is for my confused avid subscribers and my new ones as well... :)

It had been a few years since I graduated with the class of 2012 and after the entire struggle with having to choose between Luhan and Sehun, I decided to stay with Sehun.

And honestly, at this age and time, I wonder if it was a mistake.

Don’t get me wrong, Sehun is a great guy. I love him to death, literally. I mean, he is my boyfriend after all.

…but, the distance between us constantly tears at what we call a relationship.

We are no longer stable; we can barely speak to one another, and when we do, often times soft voices turn into harsh words that pierce into my skin.

It hurts.

So we decided to take a break.

We bumped into one another in Busan at one point… and then we made love. We remembered why we fell in love in the first place and we were suddenly mad about each other again.

Though that didn’t last for long.

He had decided to stay in Busan to play with the Busan Seagulls.

I was happy for him, I was.

But I ended up going back to Seoul to pursue my pediatrician career. And that was that.

We broke up, we made up, we broke up, we made up, and finally, we decided… enough is enough. The constant rollercoaster has made me sick enough. We broke up for good, but we decided to stay friends. We weren’t entirely tired of each other yet.

Today was his birthday.

April 12.

I decided to visit him after a long day of work, maybe he would be happy if I came and said happy birthday.

Or remembered it anyway.

I finally arrived at his apartment complex and slowly made my way up the stairs. His door had a computer lock on it, though he never told me what the password was. I tried everything.

His birthday, his favorite number, his mom’s birthday, everything.

But I forgot one thing.

I punched in my birthday and the machine had made a sound to allow me in.

…

I opened the door slowly and heard a creaking bed.

“Hello..?” I greeted softly, and then entered the room a bit more.

“Hey Sehun!” I shouted, “I brought you a—”

I dropped the cake I had worked incredibly hard on making.

“Cake…”

He had turned his head toward me, and then toppled his body all over the girl he had been having with.

“Who is that wench?” the girl asked while pushing Sehun off of her. Her s were flying all over the place.

“She’s…”

“I’m a friend. Sorry to intrude” I apologized sincerely and left as quickly as possible. Sehun had called my name several times but I didn’t want to hear any of it.

I ran into my car as quickly as possible and found a half Sehun running out of his apartment. I tried to put the key into its place but it had dropped. I didn’t know why.

I wasn’t crying so my vision was clear as it could be.

But my arms were shaking as well as the rest of my body. I cursed myself when Sehun had begun knocking on the window of my door.

“Open up Neulie!” he slapped my window and I hissed at him. “Come on…”

I shook my head several times.

“Look, I want to talk to you…”

I finally started my car up and looked up at him.

“You want to talk to me?” I asked with a sharp tone, “Why would YOU want to talk to me?”

“Because, I want to tell you that the girl means nothing to me and you—”

“Why are you explaining yourself? We aren’t in a relationship, we are nothing. Why did you come running after me when you still haven’t finished doing your business with that girl? I can