JIYONG

I pulled away from Camilla, away from her reach. I could see hurt in her eyes but I felt like I was cheating on the woman who was standing in my living room eyes wide looking at us. And I hate myself for feeling like this. We don't have any relationship and we only meet three times but my stupid heart and mind were telling me that what I was is wrong.

"Dara? Why are you here?" I asked after mentally scolding and beating myself fo4 being stupid.

"I'm so sorry for invading your privacy. Amber said she will inform you that I am coming but I guess she doesn't.  I'm  so sorry." She bowed her head and then pulled her luggage towards the door but I quickly grabbed her arms stopping her from moving further.

"Where are you going?"

"I'll just find a place to stay."  She replied head hanging down, and she looked like she wanted to cry at the moment.

"You stay. You're not familiar here. I have two spare rooms. You can use one while you are here."

"But...

"No buts, Youngbae will kill me. Not only him but my mother as well if they find out I let you roam around this late at night.  Camilla, I'm so sorry, thank you for driving me home. You can use my car to go home. I feel bad for asking her to leave but Dara looks uncomfortable with her around. 

"I'll just take a cab." She murmured. I took a deep breath and felt so guilty for asking her to leave this late but Dara. She's always the first.

"I'll walk you out." I offer. "I'll be right back," I told Dara and walked Camilla out of the door. We quietly walked to the elevator until we were inside.

"I'm so sorry, Camilla."

"Who is she to you?"

"The woman I love." I honestly told her. "But she's already married to my best friend."

"Does she know?"

"No, and I don't have a plan to tell her. They have a son already."

"Are you okay with her staying with you?"

"I'm fine. My mother loves her dearly and she will go ballistic if she finds out I let her stay at the other place." She nodded her head and didn't talk again. We waited for her ride to come in the lobby and when it came I waved goodbye to her after saying sorry again and waited until her ride left before I went back up to my unit.

I stood in front of my door for a few minutes to prepare myself to face her. It's been almost four years since I last saw her but she's still beautiful like before, no she's more beautiful now. She looks mature, motherhood suits her, and my stupid feelings are still the same every time she's near me. I thought I could move on now but with just a glimpse of her, those move-on words vanished.

After I'm confident enough to face her, I opened the door and stepped inside but I feel guilty to see her on the couch already sleeping in a sitting position. I guess she was very tired because of a long flight.

I stood beside her, and all I wanted to do was pull her in my arms. This woman completely owns my heart without leaving any space for anyone but someone who owns her heart already.  I sigh and softly shake her shoulder.

"Dara, Dara!"

"Ryong, Mama is tired." She murmured and I chuckled.  

"Dara, sleep inside the room. It's uncomfortable sleeping on the couch." I said, shaking her shoulder.  

"Ouch!!! I winced holding my chin when she suddenly stood up only to fall back on the couch holding her forehead wincing. 

"I'm sorry." She whispered with a red tint on her face. 

"Let me see your forehead." She removed her hand that covered her forehead and there was a bump forming there. "Wait, I'll take an ice pack for you." I went to the fridge and took two ice packs. One for her and one for me.

"Here."

"Thank you. I already troubled you so much."

"Don't mind it. Come I'll show you your room." I carry her bag and lead her to the room next to me. "You stay here and the room beside you is mine."

"Have you eaten?  

"Yes, I already ate at the airport."

"Good, you rest for now. Let's just talk tomorrow. I'm sure you are tired and I'm a bit drunk. It's a friend's birthday earlier that's why I'm a bit drunk. I'll leave you here. Feel at home. If you need anything just knock on my door."

"Thank you so much, Jiyong and I'm so sorry for the trouble."

"It's okay, now rest.  Good night."

"Good night. Thank you." I nodded my head and opened the door beside her and went inside my room. I lean on my closed door taking deep breaths. Why did my mother send her here? And why did no one informs me about her arrival?" I groaned. I placed the icepack on my bedside table and threw myself on my bed. I'm not prepared. She caught me off guard making my heart go wild. I sigh and went inside my bathroom and took a quick bath. 

I toss and turn on my bed. I couldn't sleep just thinking she was in the room beside me making me crazy replaying what had happened four years ago.

Youngbae wasn't a good husband. How could he send his wife here alone? And I hate him more for doing this.  Why of all time why now when I plan to move on and be with Camilla. Now all those thoughts of moving on were suddenly wiped out of my mind just by the sight of her. She still has a tight grip on my heart no matter how hard I try, just a glimpse of her everything was forgotten.  

What will happen to me now? Maybe I'll be forever alone and love her from afar.  Maybe I'm a heartbreaker in my previous life, that's why I am being punished now. I sigh and forced myself to sleep but wouldn't come to me. I sat up annoyed. 

I grabbed my phone and called my mother. I don't care what she is doing right now. Why didn't she inform me of Dara's arrival?  She just forgot or she purposely didn't tell me? But why did she do it? It's already three in the morning and it's four in the afternoon in Korea, I'm sure she's at home at the moment. It rings twice before she answers it.

"Hello!

"Wow, you are so calm answering my call. Why didn't you inform me of Dara's arrival?" 

"Sorry, I forget."

"You forget or you purposely do it? What is your reason for not telling me? I brought a woman to my place but found her in my living room. You should at least tell me so that I'm prepared."

"What? You brought a woman home?"

"For all the things I said that's the only thing you hear? I can bring a woman in my place whenever I want. I'm already thirty, Mom, and I know what I am doing.  I want to settle down and I'm going to find a woman to build a family of my own. And next time don't sneak someone in my place." I quickly ended the call without letting her reason out. 

I slumped on my bed looking at the white ceiling above me. I think I won't get any sleep while she is here. 

***

I bolted up from my bed startled when I heard a noise as something dropped. I didn't know that I would fall asleep. Luckily, today is Saturday and it's my day off or I'll be late.

I rushed outside my room and let out a sigh to see that it was only Dara. I think she dropped something but my eyes widened to see blood. 

"What happened?" I asked, rushing to her side. She was holding her bleeding hand.

"I dropped the knife. I'm sorry I disturbed your sleep. I'm just very hungry." She murmured blushing. 

"Let me see?" I looked at her bleeding hand and I saw a cut on her palm.  "Why is your palm cut, not your finger?" I asked and took her to the sink and put her bleeding hand under the running water.

"I tried to catch the knife." She bites her lips not looking at me. I shook my head and let her sit on the stall while I took the first aid kit. I clean her cut and apply antiseptic on it before I bandage it.

"Thank you." She murmured. Why is she murmuring while talking to me as if she doesn't want me to hear it?

"You just sit there and I'll cook," I told her and picked up the knife that was still on the floor.  I saw she cut some onion and there was a beaten egg in the bowl. I guess she wanted to cook an egg omelet and a pancake because a box of pancakes was on the table.

I cooked egg omelet, pancake, and some bacon, and toasted four slices of bread. 

"Where are yo