Dara

I am now two months pregnant, and my baby bump started to show up. I already have a helper. Her name is Ana. She is forty years old, married, kind, and a hard-working woman.  She has a seven years old son, but sad to say his husband died two years ago. 

She asked me if she could bring her son with her? If it's not okay for me, she'll understand and she will leave her son to the care of her neighbor. I feel bad for her son to be left with the care of their neighbor. I don't want that to happen with my child,  so I let her bring her son with her. The house feels lively with them staying with me. 

The house is always spotless of dirt, very initiative. You don't need to tell her what to do. Every morning when I wake up, my breakfast is already ready and she also makes a packed lunch for me. She said it's not good for the baby to eat outside food that is full of seasoning that is bad for my baby. She's a good cook as well, and her son helps her with chores every time he is free from schoolwork. 

Felix is in primary one. He is a very sweet, and caring child to his mother, and I'm praying that my child would be as caring, loving, and sweet too. I let them stay in one of the spare rooms and the other room. Youngbae hired a worker to renovate it for a nursery.

They already started yesterday and Youngbae comes every day to visit and brings me strawberries every time he comes. 

Even though many times I turned down his feelings for me, he is still persistent to add with it his parents join in convincing me to accept their son, even amber,  and Krystal. Everyone wanted us to be together, even Seunghyun.

Amber said that if I accept Youngbae's feelings for me, she is sure I will learn to love him too. They all wanted me with Youngbae, and it was so tempting sometimes.  Youngbae is very kind, caring, and sweet. He is funny too. You won't feel bored if you're with him. He always has a topic to talk to. No dull moment at all. But could I really learn to love him? How about my baby? They all said that they will love my baby, even Youngbae said that he will treat my baby like his own as well as his parents. It's so tempting but the doubt was so big in my heart if I could learn to love him because after experiencing Jiyong care for the first time, A little hope built inside my heart.

He kissed me, and said sorry the next day. It only means he knew what he did even though he was drunk. A tiny hope grows in my heart the next day when she takes care of me, and that hope stops me from accepting Youngbae's feelings. I sigh sadly.

He wasn't back until now. I heard he won the bidding, and the owner wanted him to be hands-on with the project. That's why he hasn't come back until now. It's been two weeks, and I wanted to see him.  He is one of my cravings. I wanted to see his face every day. I have loads of his pictures on my phone which I download from the web, and I look at them every time I want to see his face. 

"Jiyong!"  Mentioning his name always sends a warm feeling to my heart. I sigh if only I didn't make that mistake during my drunken state, but it's still a blessing because I got my child. I smiled rubbing my tummy. 

"Baby,  what should Mommy do?"  Youngbae is an easy way out for embarrassment that couldn't be avoided once my baby bump showed up but I don't want to take advantage of him by using his feelings towards me. I sighed looking at the road. 

I am outside of the bookstore waiting for Youngbae to pick me up. He called earlier that her Mom invited me for dinner and he will pick me up.  I couldn't decline to these people because they are like family who I don't have.

It's so nice to have someone who cares for you genuinely and has a parents figure who always worries about you. Who always checks on you. Luna, Amber, and Krystal are like mother figures. They always check on me. Worries about my baby, and my condition. 

Youngbae I started to be dependent on him. Every Time I don't feel well, I call him because his soothing words calm me as well as his hugs. It feels like I have an older brother who cares for me so much.

I smiled when I saw his car across the road. The window rolled down and he motioned for me to come over.   I wave at him in response and cross the street.

"Watch out!!! I heard Youngbae scream. My eyes widen to see the fast-approaching car towards me. The first thing I did was wrap my arms on my stomach protecting my baby. I was rooted in the middle of the road.  I tried to move but my feet felt like they were glued to the ground. 

" Dara!!! I heard Youngbae's voice again, and the next thing I felt I was pushed, sending me to the side of the road and a deafening sound followed.  

I saw black dots when I hit hard on the pavement at the side of the road disoriented. I have a long cut on my forearm and my head is throbbing. Youngbae I muttered then looked behind me.  

"Please let this be a nightmare." I prayed. "Youngbae!!!! I screamed then forced myself to stand up despite the dizziness I am feeling and rushed to him. I dropped to my knees beside him with tears streaming down my face. He is bathing with his own blood, unconscious.  The car that hit him bumped on the post at the side of the road and I could see the driver was not moving, bathing his own blood as well.

" Youngbae! Youngbae!" I shook him with tears streaming down my face, trembling in fear, and worry.

"Help! Please help us." I cried.

"I already called an ambulance, Ma'am." A man said and went beside me. He holds Youngbae's wrist and checks his pulse. "He's alive, but he needs to be brought to the hospital now. He lost so much blood." The same man said again. A sobbed left my lips,  heart pounding wildly in my chest.

I didn't notice but medics came, then they took Youngbae from my hold and laid him on a stretcher. I stood up following them but I staggered backward and after that, I don't know what happened.

***

I woke up lying in the hospital bed with Amber sitting on the chair beside my bed.

"Dear, how are you feeling?" She asked when she saw me open my eyes.

"Youngbae,  how is he?" I asked and my tears instantly rolled down my cheek.

"I won't lie to you. He's in critical condition at the moment. He is still in  the operating room." She replied, wiping her own tears. 

"It's all my fault." I sobbed. "Wait my baby, my baby is fine, right?" 

"Don't worry, your baby is fine." More tears rolled down my cheek which the amber wiped away. I'm relieved that my baby is safe but Youngbae is in critical condition because he saved us.

"You need to rest. The Doctor said your baby almost did not make it. Luckily your baby has a stronghold. The Doctor advises that you stop stressing yourself and be extra careful because next time your baby won't be lucky anymore. So take extra care of yourself. Stop worrying about Youngbae, he is strong. I'm sure he'll make it. And stop beating yourself about what happened. It's  an accident, and he just loves you so much that he is willing to protect you at all cost." She smiled sadly while holding my hand. 

I moved my eyes away from her, and more tears rolled down my face. He loves me so much that he is willing to give up his life for me, but what did I do in return? I always denied his feelings for me." I thought sadly.

"Are you hungry?" I shook my head. I don't have an appetite thinking Youngbae is still in the operating room.