Jiyong

I don't know what to do after Seunghyun told me that the woman I've been searching for for more than a month now and the woman Youngbae was smitten with is one. What should I do now?

Seunghyun and I are now in his place, drinking. I don't know what to feel about this revelation.  I wanted to cry because this woman is hunting in my dream every night. She's always in my mind. Her face I couldn't forget. It was engraved in my mind, and now knowing Youngbae, I'm sure he wasn't just smitten by her but he already fell for her by the way he always includes her in our conversation. 

I don't care if it was only another man. I would do everything to have her but it was Youngbae. He is my brother and I don't want to ruin it because of a woman.

I leaned my head on the backrest of the couch and covered my eyes with my arms. I wanted to cry badly. I took a deep breath, grabbed my shot glass, and chugged my drink. 

"Ji,!"

"I love her." My voice cracks this time. And Seunghyun cussed.

"What the hell, Jiyong. You just slept with her one night and now you are about to cry?" 

I smacked my fist on the couch beside me. "I hate this" I hissed and threw my shot glass. Seunghyun cussed once again massaging his temple.

" Seunghyun, what should I do? 

"You know that Youngbae and her might be together now? So stop whatever you are feeling towards her. There are lots of women after you. Choose one of them. They can help you forget her.

"I can't?"

"Just try."

"I can't.  I tried it so many times but I couldn't." I hissed.

"Try harder, stupid. Youngbae is our brother, remember that." 

"I'll talk to Youngbae. Maybe he'll understand." I tried to reason out hoping he would support me but of course, he didn't. 

"Are you crazy?  Dara loves him and not you. So forget what you feel for her. You are just hurting yourself. Focused on the project you have so that you'll win the bid. 

"What the hell,  Jiyong." He snarled when I burst into tears. My heart feels like being squeezed and I feel suffocated and crying is the only way to make it feel a bit better.

"Just let me. I just want to let it out." I said and picked the bottle of wine and drank it without using a shot glass. 

My heart feels so heavy knowing that I couldn't have her. So I will drown myself with alcohol just to forget her even just for a moment.  Seunghyun cussing non-stop beside me, calling me names like crazy, stupid, and more but I ignored him and keep crying and gulping my alcohol. 

Around ten in the evening, Youngbae stepped inside the door, looking crestfallen. I don't know what the reason is but I didn't plan on knowing it and giving him comforting words because I hate him at the moment. So with wobbly legs, I went to him and landed a punch on his chest. I know it wasn't strong because I'm too drunk but Seunghyun was quick to pull me away from Youngbae.

Youngbae looked at me frowning, and the mess around then chuckled seeing how I look. I'm sure I'm a mess like Seunghyun living room with dried tears and maybe snot scattered around my face. 

"What's wrong, little, bro?" 

"I hate you."  I hissed.
 

"I love you too, little  bro."  He smiled and guided me back to the couch and grabbed a handful of tissues and wiped my face. It only makes me burst into tears.  Now my conscience wouldn't let me do what I'm planning to do. To snatch Dara away from him

"Youngbae is always so caring and understanding. Since I was young he has been there taking care of me like a real older brother. He is my protector when someone bullies me before.  Seunghyun was also there but he wasn't always with us because he is ahead a year with us. So it was always Youngbae and me.

"What's wrong?" He asked. His voice was now laced with concern.

"I should hate you, but I cannot." I cried. Seunghyn chuckled in front of us and just crossed his arms over his chest.

"What did I do to you?" 

"I just hate you." I sobbed. 

"Okay, if I did wrong to you. I'm sorry. Stop crying. It's not very pleasing in the eyes. You are not five years old anymore. You know?"

"I still hate you." I sobbed and chugged my alcohol. They just watched me crying while gulping the alcohol like water until I passed out.

***

The next morning I was awakened by my alarm clock. I quickly sat up only to fall back on my bed. I don't know how I got home but I'm Youngbae or Seunghyun sent me home after I passed out.

I softly massage my head trying to ease the pain. I need to go to the office to finish some paperwork before I fly to New York the day after tomorrow for the bidding. 

I forced myself into a sitting position and I smiled gladly to see two panadol and soup in a tray on top of my bedside table. I'm sure Mom put it here. I popped the panadol in my mouth and grabbed a glass of water and drank it. After that, I drank the soup and waited for a while until I felt a bit better. 

When I felt a bit better, I went inside the bathroom and took a bath, and dressed up for work. 

"Good morning." I greeted parents who were in the dining room drinking their coffee and eating breakfast.

"Morning, son. How do you feel?" Mom asked as I settled beside her"

"Better, thanks for the med and the soup." I placed two slices of pancake on my plate and drizzled them with strawberry syrup, and honey while mom placed a mug of coffee in front of me.

"Son, are you ready for the bid?" Dad asked, putting down the newspaper that he was reading on the table.

"Yes, I already showed you my design, right?"