It's been days.

 

It's been long tormenting days for Jennie. Days of chasing Chaeyoung, who did nothing but to ignore her and chase her away. She really thought she could fix it. She thought she could still make it work. But she's done almost everything that she can, and Chaeyoung's still far from forgiving her.

 

Jennie doesn't want to give up just yet. She still wanted to hold on because she believes that Chaeyoung's feelings for her will prevail in the end. And if she just showed her how much she regretted that one mistake, maybe the girl could finally forgive her.

 

But Jennie gets tired, too. She's been losing sleep. Always thinking. She couldn't remember when was the last time she had a proper meal. And she's exhausted.

 

It's quite ironic how she always thought that she doesn't want to lose Chaeyoung, when she knew she had lost her already.

 

"Jen, what the hell are you doing?"

 

Astounded, Jisoo stared at her bestfriend who was slumped on the couch, a few empty bottles of alcohol scattered on the floor.

 

Lisa, who was following behind, could only stare at her feet. She couldn't bear to see her bestfriend like this. Not when it's partly her fault why everything crashed down on Jennie.

 

"Do you want to die??", Jisoo approached the girl while setting the bottles aside, "How did you even handle this amount of alcohol without passing out?"

 

Jennie just chuckled with half-lidded eyes, her face a shade of red, "I have high tolerance now, Chu. Don't underestimate meee."

 

"Jen, you look like a mess."

 

"Oh, me? A mess? Of course, I'm a mess. I'm the messtest mess", the brunette chuckled again.

 

"Stop doing this to yourself, god, look at you", Jisoo flails her arms in frustration.

 

"You don't tell me what to do, Chu. Just go away. Both of you, go away."

 

"You're being like this because of Rosie?? Do you think if she sees you like this, she'll come back to you??", the purple haired girl raised her voice.

 

Jennie's expression changes upon hearing the name, and she slightly straightens her seat.

 

"You mean Chaeyoung?", the brunette snickers, "She's not coming back to me, Chu. I did everything! But she's not coming back to me. She won't."

 

"How many times do I have to tell you to just give her some time? You've been bugging her everyday. Following her like some creep. Jen, do you even know what space means?"

 

"But I love her, Chu..."

 

"If you really love her, then give her time to think on her own. She's hurting. You're both hurting. And you bugging her wouldn't solve anything. Just...let her be for now."

 

Jennie didn't answer. For a few seconds, everything stayed still. This is the first time Jisoo has raised her voice in all years that they've been together. And Lisa doesn't know if she can still stand this tension.

 

"Nevermind", Jennie was the one who broke the silence, "She won't forgive me anyway."

 

"Jen..."

 

"And you", Jennie sloppily pointed to Lisa who was standing at the side, "You can have Chaeyoung now. She doesn't want me anymore. So you can have her."

 

The tall girl snapped her head up, confused, "What?"

 

"You like her don't you?"

 

That caught Lisa off guard. She wasn't expecting this.

 

"Nini, I don—"

 

"Don't lie to yourself, Lili. You think I didn't notice?", Jennie's voice was faltering, "You think I didn't notice how you look at her?"

 

"Nini, you're drunk."

 

"No, I'm not. I know what I'm talking about."

 

Jennie shot Lisa a piercing gaze, and the younger girl couldn’t look back. She’s too guilty for this.

 

“I know you like her. So now that we’re done, you can finally have your way”, the hurt in the brunette’s eyes was evident.

 

“Stop it, Jen. This is not about Lisa”, Jisoo  refrained the two, “This is about what you’re doing to yourself.”

 

“What? What am I doing?”

 

“This! Do you just plan to stay like this? Drown yourself in alcohol until you collapse and die??”

 

“If it means numbing me from this pain, then why not?”

 

Jisoo shook her head. She never thought she’ll ever have this kind of squabble with the brunette.

 

“Jen, the world doesn’t stop just because you’re hurt. It doesn’t stop for me, for Lisa, for Rosie, or for anyone who’s hurting. That’s not how it works”, Jisoo presses, “So you have to get yourself together because the world won’t keep up with you.”

 

Jennie’s eyes wandered off before dipping herself further against the couch, “She’s been my everything, Chu. I didn’t know I was capable of loving and being loved, until she came. But I messed up. I ed up so bad, I lost her.”

 

“Give it some time, Jen. Maybe when things cool down, she’ll finally hear you out.”

 

“But what if in the process, she just grows to forget me? They say time heals all wounds. But it could also make people forget. And move on.”

 

“Then you have to accept it”, Jisoo said truthfully, “If she finally moves on, then you should, too.”

 

The brunette shakes her head in denial, “I can’t.”

 

“Jen...”

 

“I need to see her now”, Jennie said before abruptly getting up, “I’ll go to Chaeyoung.”

 

“Jen, are you ing kidding me? You’re drunk!”, Jisoo grabs her in the arm.

 

“I just need to try to talk to her again, Chu.”

 

“Jennie, will you please listen to Jisoo just once?!”, it was Lisa who snapped, finally fed up.

 

“I need to try! Just one last time. Let me”, Jennie tries wriggling out of Jisoo’s hold, but she barely has strength.

 

“What good would talking to her while you’re drunk do?”

 

“I don’t know. I just know I need to see her now. I need to try again. Chu, please.”

 

Jisoo rubs her face with both of her palms in frustration. Sober Jennie’s already stubborn, drunk Jennie’s even worse.

 

“Alright.”

 

Lisa turned to Jisoo in disbelief, “Chu, don’t tell me you’ll tolerate this?”

 

“You know she’s not gonna stop, Lis. She’s stubborn as hell.”

 

Jisoo turned back to Jennie who was staring at her with dopey eyes, “This will be the last, Jen. I’ll drive you there. But if Rosie still refuses to talk to you, promise me...promise me you’ll stop.”

 

Jennie looks hesitant at first, but the troubled look on Jisoo’s face made her nod. She agreed.

 

“Alright, then. I’ll take you to her.”

 

~•~

 

Chaeyoung shouldn’t be wandering around the mall that afternoon after her class. She was too exhausted, and she doesn’t have the energy to even go malling. But her mom called her saying they ran out of containers for the dumpling orders tomorrow, so she forced herself to the nearest mall her scooter had taken her, and went to buy the supplies.

 

She was done with the purchase, and was about to head out, when she heard her name being called by a familiar voice.

 

“Chaeyoung?”

 

She turned around and gives a small smile when she saw the person.

 

“Hey, Seul”, she waves at the girl.

 

She, then, notices that the girl was not alone. Someone shorter was hiding behind her.

 

“Hey, Chaeng! What’s up?”, Seulgi greeted and walks closer to her, “Are you shopping?”

 

“Ah no, just went to buy supplies for our store”, Chaeyoung answered while subtly glancing at the girl’s back to try and catch a glimpse of whoever was behind her.

 

Seulgi must’ve noticed that, so she took a step aside and lightly pulls the person behind her, finally revealing her.

 

“By the way, I’m with Irene”, Seulgi said and gently pushes the shorter girl forward, “Come on, say hi to Chaeyoung.”

 

Irene was obviously awkward, she couldn’t even look straight into Chaeyoung’s eyes. But Seulgi nudged her again, so she started to speak.

 

“H-Hey, Roseanne.”

 

Chaeyoung really didn’t expect seeing her former kidnapper again, but it’s amusing to see how flustered the girl was, so she loosens up a little.

 

“Hey, Irene. How’ve you been?”

 

Irene looks up at her with an awkward smile, “I’ve been good. Thanks for asking. Um...you?”

 

“Well, I’m okay”, she reciprocated the smile, “Were you shopping together?”

 

“Ah no, we just went to eat. Glad we bumped on you”, Seulgi answered, “By the way, Irene here has something to tell you, I guess.”

 

Seulgi nudged Irene again knowingly, and the short girl glances at her in hesitation. Seulgi turns to whisper at her, which Chaeyoung comprehended as ‘Come on, what did I tell you about what to tell Chaeyoung when we see her?’

 

And Chaeyoung swears these two are cute.

 

“Um...”, Irene cleared before turning to the blonde again, “I...I just want to apologize...for what I did to you, Roseanne.”

 

Chaeyoung was a little surprised at that. Nonetheless, she lets the girl continue.

 

“I know it’s kinda unforgivable, and I don’t really deserve your forgiveness. But you still did. So I want to thank you for dropping the case and giving me another chance”, Irene smiled again, more sincere this time, “I’m really sorry, Roseanne.”

 

Chaeyoung could only smile back. She’s glad the girl has finally reflected on what she did, and learned how to accept things.

 

“No worries, really. I’m just glad that you’re okay now. Let’s just forget about what happened.”

 

Irene nodded and looks up at Seulgi with a smile.

 

“See, I told you, Chaeyoung’s really nice”, Seulgi commented.

 

“But hey, are you two back together now?”, she asks them.

 

“Well, kind of?”

 

“What kind of?”

 

“I’m still not saying yes to her”, Seulgi joked, earning a hit from the shorter girl.

 

“Yah, baby bear!”

 

‘Okay, that was cute’, Chaeyoung thought.

 

“Kidding aside, though. We’re taking things slow. But we’re good”, Seulgi said, “Hey, how about you and Jennie?”

 

Oh shoot. Why must it be mentioned.

 

“Well, um...we”, Chaeyoung stuttered, “We kind of...broke up.”

 

Both girls looked at her with wide eyes, refusing to believe.

 

“What? Why? What happened?”

 

“Well...it’s actually a long story, so.”

 

Chaeyoung subtly refused to bring up the topic. She’s not really in the mood to talk about it anymore. It just...brings back memories.

 

Seulgi nodded, “I understand if you don’t want to talk about it. But damn, you looked so good together.”

 

She heaves out a sigh, “Things are bound to happen, I guess.”

 

“Setting the past aside, I really thought you’ll end up together”, Irene spoke, “Sure, I’ve been once a lunatic for Jennie and lashed out on you. But that’s because I’ve seen how head over heels she was on you.”

 

Chaeyoung furrows her brows, “You mean?”

 

“I knew she’s serious about you. In all those years that I followed Jennie, I’ve never seen her this happy. Girlie didn’t even know how to smile before. But when you came, it’s like I was seeing a different version of Jennie. A better one”, Irene continues, “And have you seen the way she looks at you? She looks at you as if you were the only star in her darkest night.”

 

“I...”, Chaeyoung was speechless.

 

“Okay, that was a little cheesy. But that’s the only way I could describe it. Jennie’s in love with you. And I kinda feel bad that you had to break up.”

 

Seulgi pat Irene’s back and nodded, “I agree.”

 

Chaeyoung looked at them not really knowing what to say. What she and Jennie had was over now. But hearing Irene say all of that just triggers something inside her.

 

She doesn’t know. She doesn’t know anymore.

 

“I...um, I’m sorry but I need to go now. My mom already needs the supplies”, she reasoned out.

 

“Oh, no worries, Chaeng. Let’s just hangout some other time.”

 

She offers them a small smile, “I’ll be going now.”

 

She was about to turn around and walk the other way, when she heard Irene again.

 

“Wait, Roseanne”, the shorter called, “I know I’m in no position to tell you this, but whatever Jennie has done, or if she has ever done something...I hope you can forgive her. Just like how you’ve forgiven me. I’m rooting for you two.”

 

Irene gave her a sincere smile, before they started walking the other way.

 

And that just didn’t help Chaeyoung’s confusion at the moment.

 

She doesn’t know anymore.

 

~•~

 

It was past 6pm when Jisoo pulled over infront of Chaeyoung’s house with Jennie on the passenger seat. The girl looks a little more sober now compared earlier.

 

“Do what you have to do”, Jisoo told her friend, “But remember your promise. I’ll just wait here.”

 

Jennie nodded and got out of the car. She was a little dizzy because of alcohol but she can still manage to walk properly. So she hastily approached the Park residence and rang the doorbell thrice.

 

“Chaeyoung”, she called out.

 

But no one was opening the gate. She rang the bell again.

 

“Chaeyoung, I know you’re in there. Let’s talk please.”

 

She waited a few seconds, but no one’s really answering the door. She impatiently hit the doorbell a few more times, creating noise. 

 

“Chaeyoung, come on. Let’s just talk. Please”, she called out again, “Chaeyoung.”

 

Jennie repeatedly called out Chaeyoung’s name, until the gate finally opens. She stood expectantly thinking it was the girl she’s been yearning for. But she’s wrong.

 

Instead, Chaeyoung’s father comes out of the gate.

 

“Mr. Park.”

 

“Jennie, what are you doing here again?”, the man asked in concern.

 

“I just want to talk to Chaeyoung, Mr. Park.”

 

“But Chaeyoung doesn’t want to talk to you, I’ve told you many times.”

 

“Just this time, please. Just let me talk to her”, Jennie begs.

 

“Jennie, you know I’ve grown to like you for my daughter. But I really can’t force Chaeyoung if she doesn’t want to talk to you”, Mr. Park said apologetically.

 

“I’m only asking for a couple of minutes. Just this once, Mr. Park, please”, Jennie steps forward and started calling out again, “Chaeyoung, I know you’re in there! Talk to me!”

 

“Jennie”, the man stops her, “Please stop doing this to yourself.”

 

“But...”

 

“Go home now, Jennie. Please.”

 

They shared a few seconds of silence, before Mr. Park gave her an apologetic look and gets back inside the house, closing the gate on Jennie.

 

She has lost.

 

She has really lost. She’s never gonna win her back.

 

Jennie stood there motionless, feeling her world crumpled down. So it’s really over. Just like that, it’s over.

 

She didn’t notice how her tears started falling down her cheeks again. Pathetic. Look at how pathetic she’s become. Maybe it’s really time to stop. 

 

She didn’t want anymore of these tears, so she wipes her face using her sleeve, but the drops were just getting heavier. She laid her hand out, looked up at the sky, and realized that it’s raining.

 

Just great.

 

How cliché it is for the rain to pour down just as she was pouring her heart out. Maybe the universe is really playing with her.

 

But Jennie stood still. In hopes that Chaeyoung will come out and take her in. She stood still as her tears blend with the rain that wiping them now will be useless because she’s already soaked.

 

So she just closed her eyes. Until she couldn’t feel the rain anymore.

 

She turned around to find Jisoo, holding out an umbrella over her head, protecting her as if she wasn’t already drenched.

 

“Let’s go, Jen”, the girl said in a soft voice.

 

“Chu...”

 

“You promised, Jen. You’ll stop.”

 

Right. She promised. 

 

Jennie nodded and followed her friend back inside the car, before speeding away. Leaving everything behind.

 

Little did they know that behind the closed door, Chaeyoung watched as they drove away. Few seconds late. Clutching an umbrella in her hand...she was late.

 

Maybe this is what they’re really meant to be.

 

Broken.

 

Broken beyond repair.

 

~•~

 

 

I can’t believe I really updated 3 times a row 🥺