"Heechul-hyung?"

Kyuhyun scanned the kitchen and found no one. He frowned and finally went upstairs. Heechul's door was still locked so he quietly knocked.

"Hyung, are you ready? Donghae and Hyukjae have been waiting."

No answer but the knob was twisted, cracking a small gap. Kyuhyun carefully pushed open and was surprised when he saw Heechul was still in his pajamas, sitting on his bed with a distraught face. He sighed and sat beside the older.

"What's wrong?"

"I... I don't know. I'm afraid."

"What are you afraid of?"

Heechul turned to him although his gaze was wandering warily. He decided to keep silent, waiting for the older to answer. It was obvious that Heechul was nervous.

"What if he doesn't want me to come back?" Heechul timidly asked, digging his nails to his palms. Kyuhyun smirked slightly before straightening Heechul's curled fists.

"You're so hopeless, hyung. That moron resigned from his company for you. He leaves his galore to be with you. What is it that you doubt?"

There was a pregnant pause before Heechul finally found the courage to say his anxiety—the one that kept him sleepless last night.

"I don't know. What if I'm not worth-"

"Hyung. I love you. I'm deeply in love with you."

Damn. Heechul was not ready for the sudden confession. It was proven as he could only gape his mouth looking at Kyuhyun in disbelief. Kyuhyun never confessed his feelings in person; Heechul didn't know why he suddenly admitted his feelings in time like this when he was about to go back to Jungsoo.

"Kyu-"

"I've been loving you since the first time we met."

Kyuhyun dropped his head. He felt so pathetic but if it was what it took to make Heechul stop feeling unworthy, he would do it.

"You're an amazing person, hyung. I was amazed by how charming you were hanging out with cool flocks, being known by the whole faculty yet you still picked me up from the trash. You were really something else," Kyuhyun chuckled shortly.

"But after I knew you more, I realized that you weren't as perfect as I imagined. You also had problems just like me, like everyone else. Yet, instead, I fell for you even more. You are the reason I can survive this long, hyung. I wish you could open your heart for me."

Heechul was speechless, not knowing what to say because he was afraid that what he wanted to say would hurt Kyuhyun more. He couldn't love him back.

"Don't ever think that you are ed up. You will insult my first love."

Again, Kyuhyun laughed bitterly before he sat straight and looked at Heechul, gushing adoration and love from his gaze. Heechul was returning the stare, right at the teary eyes. It hurt him to once again cause misery to someone he cherished so much. Yet, his guilt was broken when Kyuhyun held his hands gingerly and smiled.

"Thank you, Kim Heechul. You teach me how to love. You show me the greatest act of loving someone—to let go, just like what you did when you left him. Now, I will do the same. I will l-let you go so that you can b-be happy with the person you choose. Thank you, hyung. I love you."

Heechul broke in tears and threw his arms to Kyuhyun, hugging him to soothe the pain he knew would take long to heal. Kyuhyun reciprocated the hug—the memory he would save dearly. His tears streamed down in big buds endlessly but his heart was finally deliberated. He would be no longer holding the pain from seeing Heechul being embraced by another man. 

He would let him go.

"Thank you, Kyuhyun-ah. I wish you will meet someone better than me in the future. I'm so sorry."

They finally parted and Kyuhyun still had the painful gaze looking at Heechul. He finally leaned closer and placed his last kiss on Heechul's forehead, nursing his aching heart although he knew it was no use. Heechul smiled, hesitantly got up, and left the room.

He left.

He left him.

Just then, Kyuhyun finally dropped on the floor, crying his heart out hoping some of the pain released along with his scream. He heard someone come closer but he had no energy left to lift his head. A hand was placed on his back, rubbing and giving the comfort he needed.

"Kyuhyun-ah."

"I lost him, Aunty. I lost my love."

Heechul's mother smiled sadly witnessing another broken-hearted soul yet again. She inhaled deeply and whispered into the coldness. She didn't want to be mean but Kyuhyun deserved to know the harsh reality. She cherished Kyuhyun a lot that she didn't want him to fall into the deepest part of heartbreak.

"Kyuhyun-ah. You can't lose something that is never meant to be yours. Move on. You also deserve to be happy."

][-ooo-][

It had already been ten minutes yet Heechul was still standing unmoving in front of the magical door. A step closer to the face detection device and he would experience a new world. His heart raced uncontrollably like it was swelling until it burst. He was covered in cold sweat, cramps on his fingers and toes, his body shivering. The moment he entered the house, he would have nowhere to hide. 

After it felt like an eternity, he finally stepped forward and a machine-like sound followed by a door being unlocked welcomed him. Carefully, he walked in and took off his shoes. As he finally strode farther, he began to think that he got into the wrong house. This was far from how the apartment looked like according to what he remembered. Clothes disheveled lying on every empty surface, trashes littering all over the floor—beer cans, soju bottles, takeout boxes, and any other undefined things got in his way. It was still early in the morning but the whole room was dimmed covered in unfathomed darkness. All curtains were shut close and the lightings weren't functioned. Was it the right place?

Clutching his jacket tightly, Heechul headed to the living room. His heart stopped; he found whom he was looking for. A few feet away from him but he couldn't prevent his emotions from overflowing. Jungsoo was lying lifelessly on the couch, not a single blanket covered his body from the chill. He seemed to be asleep last night, his hand still clutching a soju bottle. With tiny steps, Heechul walked closer until he was right in front of the sleeping figure. A rush of emotions ran in his blood to his whole senses. 

He slowly dropped to sit on the carpeted floor right in front of Jungsoo's face. His eyes widened rapidly when he finally had a good look at him. His hair was sticking out here and there, his nose reddening for he was probably drinking too much. Heavy liquor scent stuffed Heechul's nose and for the first time, he detested it. He shuddered, imagining how much Jungsoo drank that the room filled with nothing but the bitter aroma of alcohol. Yet, what made Heechul's shredded to pieces were those wounds and bruises on Jungsoo's face. The tanned skin lost its color, pale complexion painted in either bluish or purplish in some spots. They were new; those weren't healed scars. 

Heechul raised his hand and the unblemished skin with the back of his fingers, tracing the part where ugly wounds hadn't touched. It hurt him to see Jungsoo look this tragic. His resisting failing miserably, Heechul leaned closer and finally pressed his lips on Jungsoo's chapped ones. It tasted bitter from the alcohol but it felt so right at that moment. Their breaths mixed in and Heechul could only close his eyes, and wetting the open cut on the side of Jungsoo's lip. He finally pulled back and again his eyes couldn't get tired from staring at the somber face.

"Jungsoo?"

There was a little twitch on Jungsoo's knitted brows. Heechul sighed and tried again.

"Jungsoo? I'm here."

His glued eyes slowly cracked open. Jungsoo shut his eyes close when his head throbbed gravely. However, he forced his eyes to open albeit his world was spinning. Although it was hazy, he could tell that there was someone in front of him. It looked like him. His grip on the bottle loosened until it fell. He chuckled and brought his bandaged hand to touch the person.

"I've gone nuts."

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