"Youngwoon-ah. Club tonight, 10 PM sharp."

After ending the call without waiting for the other line to answer, Heechul rolled over on his bed and buried his face into the pillow. His mind had been a mess since he came back from his lunch with the suit man. The memory was still vivid in Heechul's mind and he had continuously played the scene over and over again.

If the sweet gesture wasn't really a big deal in Jungsoo's side, it was for Heechul. To let someone touched him, moreover touched his forehead, moreover it, and moreover ing messed his hair even a bit was the thing he never knew he would ever allow someone to. And it frustrated him, so much. Because, how badly he denied that he didn't like it, he couldn't lie to himself. He couldn't lie that the way his fingers gently touched his forehead, he felt electricity streamed all over his body. He couldn't lie that the way he smiled so sincerely, he always believed that the smile was preserved only for him. And... He couldn't lie that his heart would beat wildly whenever the particular man was near him.

But to ing admit all of those things, it meant that he'd intentionally dug his past. It meant that he had broken down all the walls built over the years to protect his little castle. It meant that he had thrown away the armor he persistently held to shield his broken soul. It meant that he had given up in perfecting his imperfections.

"You can't, Kim Heechul. You can't let yourself repeat the same mistake."

][-ooo-][

The Kim brothers arrived at their usual club and requested to have a private booth. It was surprising Kangin because his cousin would always come to the club only when he needed to escape from his problems. And the custom was he would let Heechul be wild and have some fun with girls, and then drag his back home. The latter never wanted to go to the club just to get drunk and even more to talk to him seriously. But, heck, he did. The older gulped down his eighth glass of the alcoholic beverage and he started to show the sign of drunkenness.

"Hyung, stop drinking. You're drunk already," Kangin took the glass from Heechul's reach and it made the latter glared hard at him, but he wouldn't back off.

"Give -hk back -hk my drink you moron. Or maybe you're a -hk a thief," Heechul giggled and dropped his head on the table. But suddenly, a lone tear escaped, followed by a stream of tears. He quickly wiped away but they kept coming, wetting Heechul's pale cheeks. Kangin was surprised and worries crept inside his mind in a second. "Hyung! What's wrong? Please tell me. Oh, , what happened?!" 

He tried to shook his cousin's body lightly to make him speak but to no avail. The latter only cried quietly. Sighing, he just hugged him to make his cousin calm down.

"Youngwoon-ah. I'm doomed," Heechul whispered to Kangin's chest, "Youngwoon-ah, I can't stop it but.. To admit it means to kill me."

Kangin remained still, only rubbing soothing patterns to his back. So, he continued, "I've always tried to run away, but suddenly I'm tied up and brought back to my past. I.. I'm disgusted with myself. I always thought I had moved on. I always thought I could learn how to love women. But... He comes and erases all my new self. Why.. Why do I have to feel something stupid towards him? Why can't I fall in love with women? I won't demand her to be a very decent woman, just anyone. Please.."

His crying got harder and made his body shook badly in Kangin's hold.

"The humiliation and loss I'd got should be enough for me to repent and repair myself. But... But why do I feel like I gain nothing? Why do I feel unhappy? Why do I feel like I'm always pretending? Youngwoon-ah... Just... ing punch me, beat this moron so he could learn his lesson. Or just kill me, so I can give up on perfecting myself. I'm ing tired."

There it was. The bomb. Heechul had dropped the bomb he had been keeping for a long time. Kangin was initially ready to listen to anything his cousin wanted to say but now he started to regret. It ing killed him how Heechul sounded so hopeless, desperate and devastated yet he couldn't do anything. To finally have Heechul talk about this matter caught him off guard let alone knowing that his cousin secretly indicating that he was slowly falling for someone, and he assumed, it was a he. Part of him was relieved because his brother finally found his own self back, but he couldn't lie that he was also as clueless as Heechul because the damage of the last relationship had left a nasty scar on his cousin's heart. And no one could guarantee that he was falling for the right person who wouldn't make him suffer from the same humiliation and pain.

"Who is it, Hyung?"

"Teuk."

Kangin's eyes shot open upon hearing the name. Jungsoo was the last person on his mind because he and Heechul barely knew each other and from their first meeting, his cousin had shown so much hatred towards the CEO. He initially thought it would be Donghae since the younger was always with Heechul but... It turned out to be very unexpected.

"Park Jungsoo?"

Heechul nodded weakly.

][-ooo-][

Heechul had been spending his time with lots of workloads. The talk with Kangin had actually lifted some of his burdens yet it also added at the same time. The night Heechul came home from the club, he started to think hard about what he should do. He had forced his tired mind to once again come up with some solutions. Funny, what had he expected besides failing miserably?

He barely went out of his apartment except for going to work and thankfully, Kangin hadn't contacted him much to Heechul's relief. Heck, Heechul would never be able to face him again after he told the latter his feelings for Jungsoo. Frankly speaking, he had been avoiding a creature called human for these past three days.

"Hyung, let's get lunch together!"

Donghae said after knocking without waiting for Heechul's permission. The older only sighed and rolled his eyes. "For the third time this week, Hae, ing no. Just go and don't mind me."

"Hyung, I'm afraid that you'll get sick. You barely eat and I'm one hundred percent sure you didn't have breakfast either. Come on, what's wrong?"

"I'm fine. Assume that I'm on diet and calm your worried down. Now leave."

Donghae was still looking at the indifferent Heechul and it worried him a lot. However, he was afraid that Heechu