Chapter 48

            This morning, I have no idea what state Jongin will be in, not to mention what our relationship will be like. I walk steadily and determined, but the closer I get to the huge glass tower, the less confident I feel. Something tells me that I'm going to have to face a shower of questions from my colleagues, and I really don't want to feel caught between them and the management.

A few steps away from Kim Corporation, I halt. I take a deep breath then walk in. From the outside, you wouldn't believe the drama that room place here yesterday. A stream of Korean workers is going back and forth in front of the gates.

"Miss??" An unknown voice calls out to me. Hidden in the crowd, I prefer to continue on my way up to the entrance hall. "Miss???" A hand rest on my shoulder. I jump! when I turn around, my eyes meet with pair of sparkling black eyes. A young woman of about thirty is facing me. Holding a notepad in her hands.

"You work for Kim Corporation, don't you?"

"Uh.. Yes.. But I'm in a hurry."

"Could you answer a few questions?"

I keep walking, trying to ignore her request, but she doesn't let me out of her sight. Great, I've just been accosted by a sassy journalist! "I told you I'm in a hurry!"

"You're the girl in the photo, aren't you?"

What??? I stop for a moment and I stare at her, dubiously.

"The one at the inauguration night, aren't you?"

My heart misses a beat. "Yes, what do you want?" My annoyance gets the better of me and it shows. I hate their intrusive way of approaching people.

"What is the nature of your relationship with Mr. Kim Jongin?"

I get flashed in the face and it dazzles me. I frown and cover my eyes with my hand. "Sorry to disappoint you, I'm his assistant, there's nothing special between Mr. Kim and myself, you're wasting your time." I turn around and head for the entrance of the building, so close and yet so far.

This journalist is a real leech! "Yet in the picture, it looks as if you're very close..."

Oh, you have no idea how much...

The best defense at times like this is to ignore her and go straight into the building! She won't get through security.

"Do you know anything about yesterday's event? Is Mr. Kim involved in something he shouldn't be? Is...."

"Leave her alone!!!" Sehun puts a hand around my shoulder and waves the journalist away. "If you want to ask your questions, ask for a proper interview, but right now give her a break!" My friend helps me through the doors and the journalist frustrated because of having to stop there, disappears quickly out of sight.

"Thank you, sehun."

"You're welcome, babe."

We walk together to the elevator in silence. What just happened has considerably worsened my feeling of stress! I really didn't need that sort of thing today! We let several workers rush into the small cramped elevator and wait for the next one. I watch nervously as the floor numbers change until the doors open onto an empty space. We slide in and Sehun quickly presses the 42nd-floor button before anybody else arrives.

I let out a big sigh, brushing a hand over my face as if I was taking off a mask. "Goddamnit!!!"

"Will you be okay, naeun?"

"To be honest, I don't know... I think I'm reaching saturation point.."

"I'll get you a coffee, would you like that?"

"Yes, you'd be a darling."

"I'm always a darling for you, doll." Sehun gives me his silly smile, topped up with his inimitable wink, and he manages to force a smile out of me. "Give me just five minutes and you'll have a nice hot coffee on your team to cheer you up."

Sehun gets out on his floor. When the doors close behind him, I sigh heavily. I think today is going to be long! Very long!

***

Sehun puts the hot coffee down on my desk and watches me buying myself with puzzled eyes. "Don't worry, they're just looking for some juicy information. The young and pretty assistant having a love affair with the big CEO is in the bag for them. But when they realize that there's nothing to know, they'll forget about it."

"That's the problem, sehun."

"What? Why? Because you're sleeping with the boss, are you?" He teases, all smiles as if it were a joke of the century. I stare at him unflinching, there's nothing to laugh about. "What??? You're sleeping with the boss?!" This time he sounds much less chirpy. My friend's expression has changed. shocked. Disbelieved.

I breathe out heavily to hide my turmoil and calm myself. Tell sehun my love issues, is just surreal! He may be a friend, but he's still a guy!

"Yes! It's true! I've slept with the boss!! Journalists are right to ask themselves questions!"

"ing hell, naeun..."  My friend has lowered his voice. He passes a hand through the thick tuft of his disheveled hair, like every time he's upset, and looks at me sideways. Sehun is as uncomfortable as I am with this conversation. "You mean you... Well... You..."

"yeah..." 

"Okay..." A rather unpleasant silence falls over the room, cooling the air as it settles. "To say that i didn't notice a thing!" 

"Well, we didn't exactly shout it from the rooftops! and what concern us is our business..." 

Sehun stares at me, as confused as before. He's the kind of guy to give a little slap on the shoulder and crack a joke to lighten up the mood. but right now he's at somewhere not found. "Okay.., well.." 

"It's not the end of the world either, The fact that i have a relationship with Kim jongin is my own business." 

"Yeah... Well, he is the big boss... I mean, it's Kim Jongin we're talking about here, not just any passerby."  

"Do you think i did it on purpose? Do you think i don't know who he is?" 

"Well..."

"Sehun, please don't well well me. If i could have avoided falling for him, i would have saved myself the trouble! believe me, compared to him, the worst roller coaster ride in the world is a seaside attraction for old age pensioners! But there it is, it just kinda happened!" 

"Listen... I'm not here to judge you., but.. it kinda ..."

"No kidding! Are you lecturing me?" I'm beginning to feel annoyed.

"Hey, calm down,naeun.. that's not...."

"Calm down?! I witness a shootout, I'm harassed by a journalist and now I'm being lectured by my buddy! Sorry, i think you should be able to understand if i say that... I'm sick and tired of it all." I wave my arms in the air, like a desperate seagull trying to take off from a puddle of oil.

Sehun looks at me kindly and walks toward me. "Sorry, i don't mean to hurt you and i don't want you to be hurt.."

Well, you just have, i don't need my friends getting on it too. I just need to get out of this situation unscathed!

"Sehun... I'm swamped by the situation completely.. I don't know what to do..."

"Hey, don't worry... We'll sort it out, okay?"

"Mmh.. I hope we can.." My friend comes closer and takes me in his arms, i gladly press my nose up against the fabric of his jacket. A few tears trickle down my cheeks. i sniff unladylike, but with Sehun, i have the right to. 

"Try not to drool on my jacket, I'm still fond of it. The girls like it." 

I laugh at the same time as i sob. Sehun always finds the words to make me laugh, but he also has a reassuring shoulder to cry on, the broad one may i add.  "It's gonna be alright, Princess."

I close my eyes and let myself be lulled. I'd like to believe it. The rocking is shooting. We forget all too soon that reflex that appeases sorrows. Suddenly my office door opens without warning. I nervously move away from Sehun and my blood turns to ice as two sharp eyes staring at my friend and me.

"I... uh.. I'll go." Sehun awkwardly says while walking to the door without even a glance at the boss. Jongin looks daggers at Sehun. I don't like it. I make a small concrete sign to my friend before he closes the door leaving me with Mr. Intense. I remain silent. I don't know what's going to happen, but obviously, it hasn't started too well.  Jongin clenches his teeth. His hands inside his trouser pockets, he just stares at me with his intense eyes. It doesn't take any genius to see that he's seething with jealousy. 

"Jongin... Please...Leave him alone... He's my friend... and God knows how much i need a friendly shoulder right now." I have no strength to face his gaze. I lower my eyes onto my desk and tears trickle down my cheek to one of my files. I feel ashamed. I hear Jongin coming over, i just close my eyes. He put his hand on my shoulder. I brush him off and move away. 

Jongin looks at me sadly. He tries to approach me again and comes to my arms. "Is it me making you cry?" I keep silent. His gaze is insistent. As if he was trying to sound me out. No need to resist him. 

"What do you think?? A dog outside!!?" Jongin sighs, putting a hand on my neck and push me gently to invites me to rest my head against his chest. I go with his flow. Like i always do when he touches me. I even circled my arms around his waist. And snuggle my head deeper on his chest. Yeah, I'm that embarrassing girl.

We remain like this for several minutes in each other's arms. Gradually my body relaxes. Yet my heart is still tight. I'm tired of our quarrels... Of the ups and downs that make me go through. I can't stand it anymore. My little heart will eventually break or I'll just go insane. I sigh softly and move slightly away from him. I wipe my tears with my fingertips. I fix my tearful gaze at him. "Jongin... I can't take it anymore... These arguments we have... trusting issue... I'm not sure i can cope in a relationship like this. And even if i could take it, it's not what i want.." He passes a warm hand over my cheek and looks at me affectionately. All my anxiety disappears as i plunge into his calming brown eyes.  

"I'm sorry, Naeun... I shouldn't have got carried away and talked to you like i did. Please... forgive me.." 

"I can understand, given the situation, but... the words and attitude you had, are unacceptable, Jongin." 

" I know.."

"It's as if every time I start to believe that things are possible between us, you co and smash my hopes into smithereens."

"I understand... Believe me, it won't happen again, I'll make every effort."

Damn.. How can I resist that?

I sigh softly, hugging myself. The reason for our argument has been haunting me ever since he left me at home. "I didn't want to put you in a difficult position by talking to Taemin. You should tell me about your doubts. I wouldn't have reacted the same way..."

He takes his hand away from my cheek and steps back to lean against the edge of my desk. " I don't want to get you involved in my problems."

"Jongin, whether you like it or not, I'm already involved, so you have to trust me." He loosens the knot in his tie a little. "I'm not stupid, I can tell when you're hiding something from me."

"I never said you were stupid."

"And you had better not. Otherwise, you'll have to suffer the consequences of your assistant's rage!" I manage to force a smile out of him, but his eyes quickly darken as he gazes out of the window at the buildings ahead.

"I have a big doubt of Taemin." His voice is indecipherable again. He's back into 'impenetrable businessman' mode. "Those who are trying to intimidate me are aware of things that only Taemin knew."

"I'm sure you have your reasons, I guess I too have been asking myself questions, but still, it's so far from what he seems to be."

"I've learned, over time, not to trust the impression people give."

"He saved your life that night at the inauguration if he hadn't disarmed that guy, he would have shot you! Why would he have some that if he was working against you?"

His eyes soften. "You're the one who saved my life that night. And as for Taemin... I'm still looking for what his motives could be."

"Do you think they could have something on him to put  pressure on him and force him to betray you?"

"It's possible. Taemin has a complicated past." Jongin plays with his cufflink running it between his thumb and forefinger, as he all often does when he's thinking. "For now, have no evidence that he's involved in what's going on. That's why I'm keeping my distance, but I continue working with him. To keep an eye on his reactions. If he does have something f to do with them, I want to be able to take care of him, personally."

I don't really know what that last statement means, but I'm not sure he means to simply fire him. "Where are you with the IRS?"

"For the time being, my lawyers have found a way of keeping them away from the company. They are putting the necessary evidence together to discriminate against those who trapped me and sue them for libel." He almost scares me with that tense look on his face. "It's going to cost them, lashing out at my company and I'm not going to give them any chance to pick themselves up again." Again, Jongin's I've cold determination leaves no doubt about what he holds in store for those dishonest people. "I've also put my beat team of specialists onto it to get the information that this organization is trying to hide."

"Oh? Private investigator?"

"There are more efficient and much more discreet ways of doing those things nowadays. Employing white hat hackers."

"Who?"

"IT experts who ensure the security of an organization's information system... Ethical computer hackers if you prefer."

"Ohh..."

Maybe Kyungsoo is part of his white hat hackers.