*I update chapter 30, 31, 32. Make sure you read them in order. Thank you for waiting and reading.*

The day was long... I didn't see Jongin again which I must say was a good thing! Honestly, I don't know what will come of it. Taemin is standing in his usual place. He's smoking a cigarette whilst looking at something on his mobile.

I slowly walk up to him. After my behavior last night, I can hardly greet him like nothing happened. He shows me his cigarette and nods at me. "Break time!" I smile, but something in his eyes shows me that he feels uncomfortable. Damn, it must be something to do with last night!

"I... I wanted to apologise for yesterday... I hope I wasn't too pathetic."

He stay silent for a second. "You don't remember?"

On no!!

Alcohol makes me sad. I can act wreck, desperate and disillusioned. "I remember drinking a lot of whisky, thats all. I hope I didn't scare you too much.. I can be really weird sometimes.."

He clears his throat and gives me a faint smile. "No, you were okay."

"I didn't do anything... disturbing I hope?" He seems to hesitate a moment. Damn... I knew it!

"No... You were just quite drunk I mean, you could hardly stand. I picked you up and lay you down on your bed and I left. I think you were already sleeping when I closed the door." So that's why I woke up still dressed on the clothes I was wearing the day before with a very dry mouth.

"My God... What a wreck I must have seemed. I'm sorry you saw me in that state." Imagining Taemin moving my heavy soused body up to my bed makes me feel ashamed.

"Don't worry, I've seen far worse. How are you feeling today?"

"I put on a brave face." He looks at me tenderly. Sometimes i'd like to lose myself in that beautiful reassuring look...

What's going on??

"Now that I've hit rock bottom, the only way is up!" This time his lips stretch into a heavy smile. .

"That's the kind of thing I like to hear." I watch the flood of passer-by for a few seconds. I realise that Taemin is a nice guy and I hadn't noticed before. Too mesmerised by my Boss. What kind of guy's so considerate? So supporting, who puts you to bed when you're drunk, without trying anything, and asks how you're doing the next day? The Taemin kind.

And what kind of guy make your head spin, gets you completely addicted, promise you the earth, to finally toss you aside like a smelly sock? The Jongin kind. Can someone tell me where my inability to choose the right guys comes from? I laugh nervously. Taemin leans towards me, arching an eyebrow.

"Without meaning to push it, but would you like to have a drink? I'll have a fruit juice, promise!"

He laughs, but a very of regret passes over his eyes. "My break is almost over, I have to get Jongin to an appointment in a quarter of an hour."

"Oh... Okay." At the mention of his name, my body stiffens. I'll have to get used to it he's everywhere here. I fiddle with the handle of my bag, pensive.

"You know... I didn't want things to end up like this, Naeun."

"Neither did I..."

"I didn't want to hurt you when I told you about Jongin and his habits... I never meddle in his private life, I don't know what got into me."

I let out a sigh. How could I blame him for trying to warn me? "I would have preferred for you to be mistaken."

"I know... It's silly, but I did it out of spite, and it's not a feeling I want to nourish." I lift my head and stare at him.

"You see... I felt something between us when we talked about our past at the bar, and I don't know... I started imagining things... Sorry for behaving so coldly when I found out about your relationship with Jongin... It was stupid of me." I don't really know what to say, I feel a little awkward. Taemin is a charming man, but my heart belongs to another. Or at least, belonged... I think I need to give it a rest. He puts a hand behind his neck and rub it nervously, and slides the other in his pocket. "Damn... It's embarrassing!"

"No... I... I'm flattered." I said flusterred.

"But not interested." He said.

"Not for the moment. I think I need time." I told him.

"I understand." He stares at the floor looking sheepish. I blush.

"Well, i'd better be off." I have to end this awkward conversation.

"Ok." He reply shortly.

"Will you be at the opening ceremony tomorrow night?" I said to him. 

"Yes, I'll be there." He reply.

"See you tomorrow then!" Walking back to the subway, I feel a little lost. Taemin confession does not leave me indifferent. It's even gratifying, and my ego feels flattered after the blow it got last night. But everything seems to me to be going so quickly...

I keep pressing on Hyuna's name on my phone and hanging up again. I need to talk to someone. I've been on the brink of tears ever since I got home. I may have put on a brave fave today, but it was a very fragile one. I just want to hide under the blanket and spend my evening crying. I cried enough over my parents death to know that is doesn't change anything, except making you sink deeper into sadness. Especially if you're alone. I decide on calling Hyuna. I let it ring for a moment and fall on her voicemail box. I press my phone against my chest and stare at the ceiling. I fell lonely, so lonely... I curls up on the sofa and look out the clear night sky. I slowly pull up my little blanket. I Guess I look a state. I must even look scary. I shudder. A tear pearls on my cheek, then another. I sniff. Suddenly my phone rings, it's Hyuna calling back. I hesitate for a moment before picking up.

"Hey, there sweetie!" Hyuna voice chirping on the other side.

"Hello, hyuna." My voice is shaky, unrecognisable.

".....is everything okay?" The dreaded question, one that should never be asked when things aren't good.

"No, it's not." The last word gets caught in a hiccup causes by my sobbing.

"Oh... What's wrong gorgeous? Is it that Rose who got you in this state?" I feel Hyuna ready to put on her armour to avenge me.

"No..."

"Is it... Kim Jongin?"

"Yes..." Thus time, my voice distort pathetically.

"You want me to come around? I can catch a bus and in half an hour I'm with you." Hyuna always there for me...

"No, I just wanted to have you on the phone." I can tell that she dissapproves but she doesn't insist.

"Well... What happened?"

"It's so pitiful that I'm almost ashamed to tell you."

"Sweetie... You know you can tell me anything." I sigh half crying. My phone's screen is soaking as well as my blanket.

"The place where he took me the first time, where I thought it was his home..." I pause. I close my eyes trying to control my sobs. "It was his bachelor pad. A place where he takes them all! It's not where he really lives..."

"Oh no..."  I already captured her expression.

"So, I'm pitiful, right?"

"He's the one who's pitiful."

"Uh-huhh."

"Did you find out last night?"

"Yeah.."

"Why didn't you tell me about it today?"

"I thought i could manage, i thought wrong. Anyway, i didn't want to spoil you day at work with my life life."

"What are you going to do about the job?"

"I'm going to try to continue, but I'm not sure I'll manage to work for him like before, not after what happened.."

"Did you talk to him about it?"

"He apologised and he doesn't seems to want me to leave."

"Myeah..."

"You were right Hyuna... I should never have ventured on that ground with him."

She let's out a little bitter laugh. "If our heart's always pushed us down the right tracks, it'd be too easy!" She manage to force a smile out of me despite my state without me seeing her face to face.

"Tomorrow there's an opening ceremony, he wants me to be there."

"Will you?"

"I think so. I don't want to give him the satisfaction of letting it drop, or that he thinks i had feelings for him."

"I think it would be wise for you to rest."

"I don't want to seem weak... I already cries in Taemin's arms yesterday.".

"You should have called me!" I remain silent for a moment and i hear Hyuna sigh in the other end of the line. It looks like we're going to be talking for a long time, probably she's the only one who manages to relieve the pain a little...