This morning I'm totally hungover! I slept like a log but the awakening was painful. Last night's events slaps me in the face. Jongin's lie, it quarrel, and the romantic sequence in Taemin's arms. I remember that make brought me back last night, that I served a few glasses of whisky. But I can't remember the rest of the evening. I hope I wasn't too ridiculous. All i'd need is for me to have displayed my states of mind! Or worse, that I told him some intimate stuff with Jongin!

I think the best thing to do us not to thing about it. I've enough to deal with as it is with Jongin. I scroll my e-mails for the twelfth time, my eyes are expressive as a scallop's. I switch between my Facebook which I make one after Jongin told so, and my mailbox, so as to read stupid articles and their equally stupid comments.

All of sudden. A familiar little beep catches my attention. An email from Jongin! My heart leaps. How can I put it? He's really the last person i'd want to hear from today! I'm forgetting one little detail, I do work for him! What am I supposed to say? Something like, "we had a lot of fun, both of us. You got what you wanted, now let's get back to work as if nothing had happened"? I sigh heavily, taking my had in my hands. "!" Let's face it. Our professional relationship seems largely compromised.

I can't see myself having him, now that we've said all these things. Now that I know the truth about him, that I know what I represent for him. I nervously unfold the contents of his message, "Hello, I want to see you in my office this morning, 10:30. J."

I sigh again. His message irritated me. His authoritarian time irritates me. He may be my boss, but today he's annoying me! I type my answer, an acid smile on my lips : "i'll be in your office on time, sir."

Don't worry Jongin, it's not because you treated me as if i were less than nothing that I'm going to lack professionalism.

At the thought of his bachelor pad, my heart tigtens. Thinking back to our frolics in his office, my heart feels compressed as if it were in a vice. All his beautiful attentions, the restaurant, the beach... It was all show, hot air! I can hardly believe it. Yet the truth can be cruel and I'll have to get used to it. Passionate reconxiliation in the rain are only in dramas. In reality, when you break up in the rain, you freeze your off! I shake my head. The easiest way to be resign. At least i'd stop torturing myself by having to see him all the time. I'd no longer have to face this dream that went up in smoke. But i don't want to give him that pleasure, i dont want to make his life any easier! After all, the job he offered me is a golden opportunity. No way I am going to miss out on a good career just because he couldn't keep it in his pants! And saying is the best way to make him angry and make him pay!

At the appointed time i cross the hall, holding my head high and walking confidently. As i push the door to his office, a shot of electricity shoots through my heart. Sitting behind his huge wooden desk, he turns his gaze away from his screen to look at me intensely.

"Naeun, sit down."

I have to concentrate very hard not to stagger as i walk to the seat. Seeing him is enough to revive my pain. I hate myself for being so weak. "You wanted to see me?" In my mouth, it's more of a reproach than a question. Ok, i have to control myself and stay pro!

"Yes." He stares at me for a moment, rubbing his cufflink between his fingers. Then he grabs his anthracite pen and slides it between his two hands. In his metallic coloured irises, i read many emotions. Yet i can't seem to discern his state of mind. Does he feel angry, sad, guilty or just.....indifferent? I remain impassive before the intensity of his gaze. There's no question of showing him my weakness. "In relation to yesterday..." New discharge to the heart.

"Let's not talk about it anymore, it was very clear, lets keep it professional if you please." I cut him off. My voice is cold. From the outside one might think that I've moved on. But inside, I'm in pieces.

He sigh softly, looking down at his pen. For the first time, I see an uncomfortable Kim Jongin. That attitude makes me wonder, could he be having regrets? It's difficult to believe. A man like him doesn't regret things. No time for that! He just feels awkward after having been caught red-handed! He opens his mouth several times, closes his eyes and gently nods his head. For the first time since I've known him, he's struggling for words. "I...."

"Jongin, just leave it... I get it." This time, the sadness of my voice finds an echo in his eyes. I don't know what to think anymore. I feel totally disconcerted. I've never seen him like this.

Suddenly, he gets up and takes a few steps a long his bay window. He let's his eyes linger on the city's skyscrapers. "It's complicated."

"It could have been very simple." We remain silent for a few seconds. "Do you want me to leave? To resign?"

He turns quickly towards me as if i'd just shocked him. "Not at all!"

"So why did you ask me over here?"

He leans against the window and his eyes turn away this time towards the sky. I see him fighting against his inner question. He eventually clears his throat. When his eyes fall back on me, they've regained their calm, their control. "I have to make a speech tomorrow night for the inauguration of a new hi-tech laboratory funded by the firm. Will you be there?"

"If you wish me to be." He speaks to me as if had the right to refuse has he forgotten that he's my boss? He pays me for this job.

"It's an open-air speech on the roof top of building. I'll send you the address. Many influential South Korean's will be there. I need you to be there too."

"Okay." He looks at me apologetically. Troubling silence settles. "What happened between us does not effect my professionalism, and if it turns out to be so, I will make the necessary decision." The coldness of my words seems to surprise him. This kind of game between us, of mischievousness, that time that always flirted with seduction, have disappeared. There are only ruins left. "If that's all, i'd like to get back to work."

"That's all."

Without further comment, I get up from the chair and leave his office, leaving him there, alone in his ivory tower.