If I could go back to that day, where I hurt you and cursed upon your family name I would. Instead I sit here at this table, day by day, staring into the abyss that is my cup of black coffee.

-

    If Kim Seokjin could go back to that day where the venom laced daggers spewed from his lips to take it all back he would in a heartbeat. That day in which he had ruined everything he had worked so hard to build up. Everything he had worked hard for during two long years had collapsed like the columns of an old building. That day in which his undesired fate was sealed by words he didn't even think to utter. The day where the only one he had ever come to love left his side because of what he did.

    Seokjin sat at the table, fingers drumming on the wooden surface creating a hollow thump. He had been brooding over his cup of coffee which had arrived just an hour prior. The memory of the events exactly four years ago haunted him. His cruel ways from back then were enough to make him sick. Since that day he had taken it as a lesson to the heart. He vowed to never step out of line and say such things as he had in the past. He was a changed man.

    A dull thump coming from in front of him caused him to look up from the deep brown abyss that was his untouched cup of coffee. The all too familiar deep brown eyes that had haunted his memories to this day stared deep into him. He quickly glanced back to his coffee, pretending he had seen nothing. The aching in his heart however was all too real for him to convince himself that he was hallucinating once again.

    "Sorry if I am disturbing you, I saw you sitting over here alone and thought I'd come to keep you company." The deep voice that was husky yet smooth caused Seokjin to look up once more.

    He had convinced himself that his heart was playing tricks on him, this was only a man that looked like him. The voice he had once longed to hear whispering in his ear however and the blazing passion in his eyes convinced him that the man sitting on the other side of the table was in fact Kim Namjoon. Seokjin gulped, swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat that prevented him from speaking. He thought it over before opening his mouth, what if he said something like he had last time?

    "Ah, I am not one that often enjoys company. I may however make an exception just this once." Seokjin replied cooly.

    Namjoon chuckled lightly, "Ah, I can go if you'd like me to. You don't have to be nice in order to not hurt my feelings, I've probably heard much worse than you could ever say to me."

    Seokjin was taken aback by his words. Namjoon chuckled as he saw Seokjin's expression, "What I meant was that you look harmless!"

    Seokjin sighed in relief, he thought Namjoon was talking about what happened back then.

    "Anyways, I'm Namjoon. Kim Namjoon, it's a pleasure to meet you..." Namjoon paused.

    Seokjin thought for a moment, would it be worth telling Namjoon his real name? How would he react?

    "I-I'm... S-Se-" Namjoon cut-off Seokjin's anxious stuttering.

    "Hey, if you aren't comfortable telling your name to a stranger you don't have to force yourself." Namjoon said with a smile.

    Seokjin smiled back and Namjoon laughed, "No offense but you look super awkward!"

    Seokjin's face flushed, "S-Sorry... I haven't really smiled all that much for four years."

    Namjoon quirked an eyebrow curiously at Seokjin. He didn't expect the other to pour his heart out to him, a stranger, but he was still curious. He learned four years ago however to not make assumptions of others.

    "Ah... You're curious as to why, correct?" Seokjin muttered as he stared back down at his coffee.

    Now it was Namjoon's turn to go red in the face, "Admittedly, yes, I am. I, however, have learned to not make assumptions of people or their lives. So I will not think of what happened unless you were to tell me so."

    "In my final year of highschool I got into a fight with someone I treasured greatly..." Seokjin paused for a moment before clinking his spoon against his coffee mug, "Someone I loved more than I loved myself. For someone as narcissistic as I was back then to love someone more than myself it felt strange, I became selfish. I wanted them to myself... They however had other friends, friends they had been with since before even middle school. I was just the guy that forced himself into their life... For four years I tried and tried to become friends with them. Once I had finally succeed my selfishness got in the way. I said things I didn't mean to say. Things I'll never be able to take back... I would give everything to apologize to them, I'd do anything for them to forgive me. If I had a chance to go back and take back everything I said... I would take it in a heartbeat."

    Seokjin sighed as a single tear rolled down his cheek, "S-sorry..."

    Seokjin grabbed his wallet and pulled out the two dollars for his cup of coffee and placed them in the center of the table.

    "I'll be on my way now."  Seokjin uttered as he quickly fled the scene of the café before more of his tears spilled over his cheeks.

    Seokjin quickly walked down the sidewalk, hoping to get away from the café as fast as he could. He knew he would hurt if he ever saw Namjoon again, that he'd feel deep regret but he never expected to feel this terrible. Seokjin let out a loud wail as he slumped down onto a park bench.

    "Why of all people did it have to be him?" Seokjin sobbed as he ran his hands through his hair.

    Seokjin continued to cry until the sun began to set, his sniffling never once seizing. As the chill of night began to fill the air Seokjin forced his sore, tired body into an upright position. Just how long would this aching in his heart stay?

    Seokjin sighed as he began to shuffle his way back to his apartment, squinting every time he passed under a streetlamp due to the brightness of the light hurting his sore eyes.

    "Jin hyung..." Seokjin flinched at the familiar voice.

    Seokjin slowly turned, Namjoon stood behind him, tears falling down his cheeks.

    "Namjoon..." Seokjin let out in a broken whisper, "I'm sorry..."

    Namjoon stepped towards Seokjin who took a step back, "I know Jin."

    Namjoon wrapped his arms around Seojin, "I know."

    Seokjin tensed in Namjoon's arms. A memory of the past came rushing back to him, a good one, a beautiful one.

    ***

    "Jin hyung!" Namjoon called from the opposite end of the hall. Seokjin smiled as the younger ran up to him. The younger threw his arms around the older and laughed happily.

    "You're back! I thought you said you wouldn't be back until after school ended!" Namjoon exclaimed.

    "I told my dad how I felt, how I didn't want to own the family business. I told him to give my older brother the business. He originally wanted to leave it to me for some unknown reason. I told him I'd rather stay here." Seokjin smiled as he hugged the younger.

    "You'd rather stay here than go to Seoul?" Namjoon uttered in disbelief.

    "Of course, I'd rather be with you than a bunch of whiny, dull office workers!" Seokjin said with a grin, "Besides, you're much cuter!"

    Seokjin laughed at Namjoon's pink cheeks, "You seriously are!"

    "J-Jin hyung..." Namjoon stuttered shyly as he pressed his forehead against Seokjin's shoulder.

    "Yes Joonie?" Seokjin replied.

    "I like you..." Namjoon murmured, "as more than a friend I mean..."

    Seokjin smiled slightly before pulling away from the embrace with Namjoon.

    "I-If you don't feel the same I completely understand! I just... thought I'd tell you... So that-"

    "Do you really mean that Joonie?" Seokjin grinned as he cut Namjoon off.

    Namjoon nodded his head slowly before Seokjin pulled him into another embrace, "I'm glad. Cause I like you too."

***

    Before Seokjin had realized it his tears were once again streaming down his cheeks and he had his arms wrapped around Namjoon, sobbing into his embrace. His legs shook as he broke under the younger males embrace, everything he had been holding in for the past four years came gushing out.

    "Namjoon... I'm so sorry!" Seokjin wailed as the younger tightened his hold on him, "For everything. For forcing you to be my friend and for saying all those things! I'm so sorry... I should've apologized but I was so scared. After what happened I had thoughts of just ending everything. I didn't want to think about life without you."

    Namjoon sighed, "Jin hyung... I was never mad at you for saying what you did. I was more so mad at myself for yelling back. You had done nothing wrong, you were just being truthful about your feelings. You were under a lot of stress due to your exams and you had been overworking yourself!"

    "Namjoon..." Seokjin mumbled, "you're being far too forgiving... I insulted you and your family name. I didn't even apologize! I moved to Seoul straight after graduation because I was too scared to ever face you again!"

    Seokjin pulled away from Namjoon's embrace, the cold chill of night feeling far more severe than it had before. Namjoon's warm embrace was everything Seokjin wanted to feel. For the past four years all Seokjin wanted was to hear Namjoon's voice and feel his embrace.

    "Jin hyung, none of that even matters now, unless you still think it is true! So, do you still think I don't look good enough to be seen with you? Or that I'm too lowly ranked in society?" Namjoon said with a small smirk.

     Seokjin's face flushed red, "I didn't even mean any of that in the first place! I don't even know why I said that!"

     "But do you?" Namjoon persisted with a quirked eyebrow.

     "N-no..." Seokjin muttered as he looked down art his feet.

     "Good, because we have a lot of catching up to do... " Namjoon said with a grin.