~I said I'd do more of these ;) This is much needed~

Min Yoongi

"Why are you here again?" I stared lazily at Hoseok, blocking his way into my house. "I'm trying to dye my hair." 

"Hyung, let's hang out." Hoseok pleaded. "I can help you dye your hair."

"I don't need help." I sighed. "I don't like when people try and force their way into my house. Aren't you supposed to be busy?" 

"That's right! I only have a little bit. Please, hyung?" 

"This is your 3rd time this week visiting me, Hobi. Go see Taehyung, you two need grow with each other again." 

"Taehyung is with Hana."

"What?" My heart throbbed at his words, making sure not to show any signs on my face of his words bothering me. "Why are they together?"

"You can hide what you feel from your face but not your questions." Hoseok tsked, finally shoving past me as I stumbled to catch myself on the wall. 

"YAH! Get out!" I yowled. 

"Just for a little bit." Hoseok turned around and grinned at me. "You're dying your hair; I can easily stay out of your way. Just do as you were doing." 

With another sigh, I slammed the door and stalked off towards the bathroom. "Idiot.. Why is he always barging into my house? He's too loud.." 

I the water, adjusting the temperature so that it was hot like I liked it, and then got on my knees so that I could put my head into the bathtub. 

"Yah, hyung, you don't have any ramen." Hoseok burst into the bathroom, causing me to lose the grip on the shower head as it sprayed all over the room. 

"You said you'd stay out of my way!" I yowled once more, gripping the shower head once more and rinsing the dye out. "I haven't gone shopping in a while. Hana ate all my ramen last time." 

"Can I help you?" Hoseok came closer but I halted him by sticking my leg out. 

"Don't even get near me right now Hobi. I don't want your help."

"If I were Hana, you'd gladly except, wouldn't you?" He teased, kicking my bottom hard enough to make me fall foward a bit and spray the water in my face. 

"Hobi... For the last time..." I growled. 

"Okay, okay!" Hoseok giggled and bolted from the bathroom, leaving me to rinse the rest of the dye out and put conditioner in.

If you were Hana, I wouldn't have protested you coming into my house. 

I finished up with my hair and grabbed a towel, drying my hair fiercely as I exited the bathroom towards the kitchen. I dropped the now damp towel on the back of one of the kitchen chairs and opened the fridge, grabbing a bottle of soju that I had bought the other night. I hate drinking but I need it lately. 

Everything is getting to me lately. It will feel good to be numb for a few hours. 

I turned around only to be staring right into Hoseok's phone as he snapped a photo. "Yah, what the hell was that?"

"I'm sending it to Hana." Hoseok teased as he lowered his phone and pulled up Hana's contact.

"Stop it!" I panicked, trying to get his phone but he had already sent it. "What the hell? Why?! My hair is a mess and sticking up everywhere! I wasn't even able to pose or anything; I look horrible!"

"I bet you've taken horrible pictures of Hana before." Hoseok sighed. "Besides, when do you care about that stuff? You usually never care when we sneak bad pictures of you. I can totally tell that you're head over heels for her."

"I'm not so stop." I huffed, opening the bottle and taking a big swig from it. 

"Look she replied."

"What'd she say?" I asked quickly, pushing his face out of the way to see the screen. But the screen was only black. 

Hoseok burst into laughter and smacked my back a few times. "Hyung, you're totally into her." He stopped laughing and went serious for a moment. "I wish you weren't." And then amusement filled his eyes once more as he let out a few hesitant chuckles. "But who cares? She likes you after all." 

"I wish she didn't." I pushed away from him and headed towards the piano room, sitting in my designated corner with my bottle of soju. Hoseok of course followed. "What do you want, Hobi?" 

"I want to drink with you but I can't so I brought water." He help up a water bottle he stole from my fridge and sat in front of me. "Cheers?" He bumped his water into my bottle half-heartedly and drank his water. 

Hesitantly, I drank from my bottle as well, my eyes meeting his. "Why are you really here so much?" 

"Honestly..." Hoseok grew serious once more, his bubbly attitude vanishing quickly. And the mask is off. We all have our own mask. His just happens to be his bubbly attitude. When he's faking, at least. "I'm worried about you."

"Why?" 

"I just am." Hoseok nodded a little, taking another drink. "I asked Hana if there was anything else I should know about you that she found out.. Stupid, right? I've known you how long? Yet I still feel like you aren't telling us anything... But besides, she didn't have anything to say to me. I want to believe that she truly didn't have anything to say but.." He cocked his head slightly and pulled the corner of his mouth up into tiny smirk. "She's been hanging around you too much. She knows how to lie well these days. You can only learn the best from whom you admire and spend a lot of time with. That's you." 

"Hana doesn't lie." Unless it's for the other person's benefit, it seems. 

"Everyone lies." Hoseok mumbled. "I hate liars." 

"I know."

"That's why I hate you." 

"I know." 

Hoseok got rid of the smirk and shrugged. "I hate you but I love you." 

"I know." 

"Is that all you know how to say?" He asked, glancing at his watch. "Times up. See you later, hyung." 

He stood up with a bubbly smile and left his water bottle, leaving without another word. "Sometimes, Hobi, you can be a real pain in my ..." I kicked over his water bottle with frustration. "But you're always right." 

--

"Where is Yoo-- There he is." Namjoon put an arm around my shoulder when I arrived, my hands shoved into my pockets. "You're late."

"But I showed up." I sighed, glancing around at everyone who was here.

"Hobi is busy, per usual." Jin pouted. "And Taehyung is with a kid named So Ra... I still have no idea what she's all about. I think he had an affair."

"Someone who's been obsessed with a controlling girlfriend for a year or so would have an affair? Makes sense." I spoke sarcastically. 

"Never know." Jimin sighed. "Where have you been all day?" 

"Here and there.." I mumbled, shrugging away from Namjoon and sitting next to Jin on his couch. "What's the meet for today?" 

"Just talking about the contract and how we all broke everything on it." Jin spoke easily. 

"I'm withholding to mine." I gave another shrug. "She's still working on my tasks." Namjoon met my gaze a moment, gave a brief smile, and then looked to Jin. 

"That's why we're still dealing with the contract. Technically she's helping Taehyung as well even though his tasks have changed. But I think she's already brought back the old Taehyung."

"The old Taehyung is only around when she is. She's fixed the problem from what she can see but not what we see." Jin corrected.

"Of course. What'd you think was going to happen? She isn't a therapist." Namjoon chided, playfully. 

I glanced at the clock mounted on the wall in front of me with a frown. It's time to meet him again. "I have someone I have to see." I announced, standing back up.

"What? You just got here!" Namjoon protested. 

"I know. I didn't realize the time." I held up my cellphone as it rang, showing the contact. "He's a client, see?" 

"Client? What kind of client calls you and meets with you?"

"Most of them." I chuckled. "Have fun with your pointless meeting." 

"It's pointless because no one shows up or stays!" Jin yowled as I exited his house just as quickly as I had come.

I jogged over to my car and entered, driving off without hesitation.

Hana's brother has been contacting me these past few days. The first time I met with him, he convinced me to confess to Hana. He tried to get me to accept her feelings with the little time we had left but I declined. The second time.. He asked me a bunch of personal questions and tried to mess with my head. He told me about how wrong I was to be acting like this and that I was such an to her. He told me a lot of mean things and how many times she's been hurt and even cried over me. The last time we met, he was acting as if we were close and trying to get me to drink. 

I don't know what he wants from me... 

But I know he wants me gone. 

He's trying to protect Hana's feelings.. But there isn't anything we can do anymore. 

Hana and I made a huge mistake.

I pulled over and exited the car, glancing around with the wind ripping through my hair until I found Hyun Ki standing along the bridge railing, looking out over the water. It's so windy and cold... Why meet here? 

I jogged over to him and stood beside him, neither of us looking at each other. "You confessed to Hana righteously, right?" He asked simply. 

"Yeah.. I was going to anyways whether you told me to or not." 

"Hm... Who are you, really?" Hyun Ki spared a moments glance my way before shaking his head and letting it fall, his eyelids closing with exhaustion. "I really... I really just want to know who you are." 

"Why?" 

"Because my little sister is in love with you. If no one else is going to care in our family then I must. Do you know how I see you right now?" I shook my head to his words. "I see you as a complete douche bag. You hurt her all the time, you want her near you but you don't want to be near her, you make her cry so much... You tell her not to do things but then you go back on your own word and do them anyways... I see you as an abusive person. Maybe not physically, but mentally." 

"I'm no--"

"I know, you're not like that." He lifted his head, turning his body towards me this time but I kept my eyes focused on the water below. "My little sister wouldn't be dumb enough to be around someone like that. So who are you? I hate how you treat her... Honestly, I just hate you. I can't wait until time is up between all of you guys. I hate you all... But I'm going to be especially happy when you're gone. You'll disappear from her life and her from yours. I hate you all but I hate you the most. Because you stole her heart and abused it." 

I nodded slowly, clenching my fists together over the railing. I want myself to disappear too, Hyun Ki. I don't blame you. "I know. I can't wait until the time is up either."

He shook his head. "How can you say you love her and then sit here and say that you can't wait until she disappears?" The less time we have together, the less I'll hurt her. But I want to see her... And I continue to see her as often as I can... I told her I would. I'm so horrible... I know. 

"It was a mistake getting involved with her, I know." I continued, very clear to how angry he was getting. Hate me. The more people hate me, the more I can hate myself. 

"It was a mistake for you to meet her, yes." He growled. "I met with you... I tried to get you to give my little sister a chance. You won't even though you claim to like her as well. I tried to point out to you how horrible you are and how you should just disappear now for the better of Hana. You can't even do that. I tried to get you drunk to see if I could get anything out of you because I felt like that was the last resort. You wouldn't drink. Now I tried to be nice and ask you again who you are... But I let my anger get the best of me." He put a hand on my shoulder, smirking a little. "I'm sorry, truly. Let's talk like men now, okay?" 

"Bipolar..." I grunted, nodding. "Whenever you're ready to talk, so am I."

"Why are you like this then?" He asked patiently, the frustration in his eyes still clear as day. 

"Like what? I'm only a human." 

"A liar." 

"I live on lies." 

"Why?" 

"I grew up with lies, I receive lies, and I give lies." I rested my arms over the railing to let them dangle towards the water, giving a tired sigh. "I guess a liar is all I resort to." 

"Troubled family or something?" 

"Something like that."

"Great.." Hyun Ki grumbled. "Are you sure her love isn't pity then?"

I froze, all my worries about that very thing just sinking in. That's the very question I've been asking myself for a long time, Hyun Ki. "Maybe it is." 

"How long have you liked her then?" He continued on, noticing how much the question struck me.

"I don't know. Have you ever been able to truly pin point when you began to fall for someone?" I frowned, my mind spinning with thoughts of that horrible question from earlier. "And no, I don't know how long she liked me or if she even truly likes me." 

"You knew my next question. You're very observant." 

"You have a motive. Most with motives will assume similar questions to get to their end wish." 

"Then you know my motive, so can't you tell me what I want to know?"

"I can't because I don't know myself."

"How do you not know where you stand on this?"

"Surely you've liked someone before." I countered, tired being drilled with questions from him already. "No one knows where they really stand. Soemtimes even after talking, people still don't know."

"True." He agreed. "I've liked someone longer than I can remember. I can't let her go. I hate when she's around other people but I won't try to be with her."

"Then what's the difference between you and I?" 

"The difference is that we tried to be a thing, more than once. We both knew that it wouldn't work but we tried anyways because we would've regretted it if we hadn't." Hyun Ki drew a smirk on his lips and titled his head slightly. "I can't say I'm in the exact same situation but you know who wins in the end? The girl. The girl will win eventually. She'll leave after the contract and she'll meet someone else. While you're stuck waiting and regretting not doing anything, she'll come back with someone else. You'll try and date but it'll still hurt." 

"I can't tell if you're still telling me to disappear or to go after her." I admitted, trying to steer away from the topic as we were both struggling because of it. The girl he loves must've found someone else. He looks hurt.. 

"I'm telling you to do whatever you can.. So that neither of you regret anything and then disappear. If you're not going to do anything, then just disappear now." Hyun Ki pushed off the railing and shrugged. "It'll be best for Hana if you just disappear now. She'll grow hopeful and more clingy if you give her false hope." 

"But doesn't it hurt knowing that you were once something and now you're nothing to her?" 

"Of course. But we tried, that's all that matters." Hyun Ki nodded towards my car. "I took a taxi here. Drive me home." 

"Aren't you rather rude?" 

"I'm older, I believe." 

I let out a sigh and nodded. "Let's go then." I went to go to my car but stopped, looking back at him. "Are you at least a nice person?" 

"Huh?" 

"Just a question." I forced a smile, opening the door for him once I made it there. 

"To some." He stepped towards the door and gave a mocking smile in return. "Not to you."

"Why is that?" I asked as he got in. 

"Because you're hurting my little sister." 

"Fair enough.." I sighed again and shut the door, making my way slowly to the driver's side. 

I hurt everyone. Why do I even try to talk with people? 

--

"Yoongi, my brother asked for your number a few days ago. I don't actually remember when but he did. Did he ever call you? What is the gig for?" 

"He called me." My lips arced into a smile as her voice filled my ears through the phone. She always calls when I feel the worst. 

"Your voice sounds weird, are you sick? Did I wake you up?" 

"Something like that." I mumbled. "Why'd you call? Just for that?"

"It's an excuse honestly." She laughed nervously. "Can we hang out today?" 

"Mm.." 'Then just disappear now.' "I don't think it'll work out today." 

"Why not?" 

Because your brother is right.. It'll only hurt you more if I hang out with you as much as possible before the contract ends. I usually don't listen to people but.. When it comes to you.. I find myself so lost and only looking for help. 

But he's right. I should just disappear as quickly as I can from her. 

"I have Nana over." I lied, leaning my head against the wall behind me as I tucked my knees up. Your voice is so soothing right now.. I'm feeling so horrible with myself but your voice is so soothing.

"Oh, do you? Should I let you go then?" 

I didn't respond. 

"Are you sure you're okay, Yoongi? You sound sick." 

"I'm not sick." I closed my eyes as Hyun Ki's words circled my mind. I remember everything he said to me.. And it hurts so much. 

"Can I come over anyways? I like Nana and I want to see her." She laughed again. "Hm? I can come to you this time." 

"Not today." I sighed, picking my head up and opening my eyes again. Don't hang up.

"I'm going to go then." She sighed as well. "I'll just go hang out with Taehyung again. He's the only one around lately." 

It isn't a good thing... But sometimes I wish Taehyung was still a rude jerk to her... "Have fun.." 

I waited for her to hang up but she hesitated again. "Yoongi.."

"Hm?"

"Something is wrong, right? Something is bothering you, right?" 

"Why do you say that?" 

"Nana is with Namjoon today." 

Well, . 

"I called Namjoon ealier because I wanted to have dinner with him later today but he told me he was with Nana and that they had dinner plans later." 

Figures. 

"And your voice just doesn't sound normal. Why won't you tell me anything? You never really did before.. But at least you eventually told me. But lately.. You won't tell me anything. I'm trying to help you, that's why I'm here." 

"I'm fine, I'm just tired." 

"I don't believe you."

Good. 

"I'm coming over." 

I shook my head lazily, pushing myself off the wall and furrowing my eyebrows. "Don't even think about it." 

She hung up. 

How do I keep her away...? Should I bring over one of Nana's friends... But that's so mean..

But it'll work. 

I quickly dialed up Nana, glad that she answered so fast. "Nana, I need your help."

"Oh, Yoongi needs my help for once? What is it?" 

"Could you get a hold of your friend that I met the other day and send her my way?" I asked, standing up quickly, my heart racing. This is so bad Yoongi.. Do you really need to go to these measures? You hate hurting her.. Why are you doing this?

"Huh? Why? You said you didn't like her." 

"I have a few questions to ask her." I exited my piano room and went to go get dressed. 

"You think she's cute, right?" Nana giggled. "I thought you liked Hana." 

"Just send her my way." I requested once more before hanging up and changing into a pair of black skinny jeans and a fitted white hoodie.

I clutched at my heart as it raced beyond control. This is so bad. So very bad.. I hate this. I hate this so much. 

I spent the next half hour or so pacing back and forth until my door bell rang. It's not Hana because she would've just come in..

I can't tell whether I'm using this as an excuse to run away or if I'm listening to Hyun Ki's words and using this to disappear because he asked me too. 

Maybe both.

I hurried towards the door and opened, looking over Nana's friend. "What's your name again?" I asked lazily. 

"You asked me over but didn't even remember my name?" She scoffed. "I was busy when Nana called but I still came!" 

"You didn't have to." I titled my head, mockingly. "So?"

"Just call me Hyesun." She forced a smile. "So what is it?" 

My eyes travelled past her as Hana came into view from the down the road. Hana looks frustrated.. And worried.. 

Why am I even doing this? 

I put an arm around Hyesun's waist and pulled her inside, shutting the door. "I want to talk with you about something." I spoke in a hushed, panicked voice, my face disgustingly close to hers. 

"What is it?" She returned my cold gaze. "Are you wanted to pretend I'm someone?" 

"You already know." I smirked, brushing her hair out of her face. 

"You don't strike me as someone to do that." She returned the smirk as well. "If you're going to use me like this, do it right."

"What do you mean?"

"You have to look at me like you want me here, not like you want me dead." She pulled herself away and straightened out her outfit. 

I sighed and watched as she took off her shoes, leaving them in an unorganized manner. "What are you doing? Why are you making a mess?" I asked as she purposefully dropped her bag, using her foot to spread things out. "Yah!" 

She ed a few buttons on her shirt and messed up her hair. "You said you want to use me, I'm making it look real." 

"This isn't what I had in mind though." I shook my head, my heart speeding up even more. I just want to look like I've moved on.. Not like I've already ed her. This isn't what I want. 

Hana knocked, both of our gazes landing on the door. She won't wait for me to answer if I take to long to open it. But I don't want her coming in like this.. 

Hyesun grabbed my arm and pulled me over to the couch, falling down on the couch and dragging me down with her. My knee landed in between her legs with the other supporting some of my weight with the ground and my arms on either side of her face. Hana opened the the door and my eyes widened with panic.

"Nana told me you had a girl in your heart already." She whispered so that only I could hear. "I'm only doing what you wanted. Why do you look so panicked?" 

My eyes met Hana's, both of our gazes cold with wide eyes. "Because.." I breathed, my heart aching. "This isn't how I wanted to do it.." 

Hana tore her now glossy eyes away and nodded, hitting her waist with her arms a few times. "Okay. I get it now." She sighed, nodding again and again as if nodding was the only thing she knew how to do at the moment. 

Hyesun sighed. "Then what did you have in mind?" 

I looked down at Hyesun with fiery eyes. "To show I've moved on. Not that I'm about to you." I hissed, getting off her immediately and looking back to Hana. 

"I'm glad to see that you're fine. You sounded upset but I guess you were right for once, that I misunderstood."  She forced a smile. "Is this why you didn't want to try anything?" She looked to Hyesun as she sat up, fixing her hair. "Because you had someone else? Does she know that you like, or at least liked, me too? It wouldn't be fair to her.."

"Hana." I take it back. I can't do it. "Actually this isn't what it looks like."

"You don't have to feel guilty." Hana forced a laugh. "We like each other but you made it clear you didn't want anything to do with me. I understand that. You have a right to see other people too. Even you.. Someone I thought was an impenetrable wall.. Has needs and wants. I understand. Don't worry, I'll move on too. Since this is solid evidence that you're truthful with what you say to me." She went to leave but stopped, not looking at me as she spoke. "If you were interested in someone else, you shouldn't have confessed to me.. You should never have said anything that day about us.. That song shouldn't exist either." And with that, she was gone, slamming the door behind her. 

I pulled at my hair and stared at Hyesun. "This isn't your fault.. This is mine." I mumbled, my breathing picking up as panic set in. "I only wanted to try and show her that I've moved on.. But not like this."

"What's the difference?" Hyesun asked. "In the end, she's hurt and you were with someone else. It hurts just the same." 

"You're right in some parts.." I shook my head. "It's far worse to catch someone in the act though. This isn't.. This isn't what I want."

"If you're so worried over hurting her, why'd you do it at all?" She mumbled. "Go to her or she might not ever want to look at you again."

I listened to her and ran outside, jogging down the sidewalk towards Hana as she moved quickly on her own. But then I stopped, watching her go with a heavy heart. If I stop her then what was the point? The point was to disappear from her side. The point was to force her to move on.. 

If I stop her, this would've been for nothing. 

I hate this so much.

My fingers tangled in my hair and I let out a quiet whine of frustration and pain, my eyebrows furrowing together as my body quivered. But why does it hurt me so much? 

I'm the one disappearing... But why does it feel like she's the one that just ripped my heart out? 

--

"You did what to Hana?" Hoseok's jaw dropped as he stood up quickly. "You would never do that to someone! You're not that type of person! Stop screwing with me!" 

"I did it." I buried my hands into my hair as my face twisted with anger and guilt once more. 

Hoseok sat back down, his mouth still open slightly as he stared bankly at me. "I can't... I can't believe you would do something so horrible."

"I wanted to disappear. I wanted her to move on." I repeated the same sentences to Hoseok as I've been telling myself. "I only meant to have her walk in when I was with another girl. I didn't mean for the other girl to act like I was about ready to her.. That's not what I want!" 

"Both are horrible!" Hoseok raised his face, his face growing stern. "You're a horrible person Yoongi." 

"W-what?" My gaze lifted as it met Hoseok's hostile one. 

"I said.. You're a horrible person, Yoongi." Hobi.. Even Hobi thinks I'm horrible.. "What kind of ed up mind do you have to do this to someone? You couldn't think of anything better?" 

I hesitated because for once, Hoseok was the one scolding me. Hoseok was the one hurting me. But he wasn't a liar. Everything was right. Everything is true. Why didn't I just actually disappear? 

Hoseok stood up, shaking his head. "I don't want to talk with you right now.. I'm going to Hana. How sickening, Yoongi. To think I looked up to a hyung like you." With that, Hoseok left, slamming the door like Hana and filling my house with emptiness once more. 

I can't.. It's all wrong... I knew it was all wrong but I did it anyways... 

I pulled at my hair again, groaning as pain enclosed my heart. Why am I here?

What have I done? 

Sorry this took so long omg.. I rewrote this chapter 3 TIMES!! My computer would always shut down before I could save and the back up save was always the beginning portion. /sigh/ but here it is! I thought that you guys would like to see Yoongi's thoughts and perspectives on this rather than Hana's since I'm assuming you all know how she would've been clueless about him meeting her brother and then her feelings after all this happened. So, Yoongi's POV was much advised :)