"Is it time for another gig?" I answered Yoongi's call quickly even though it had woken me up. "It's the 16th today." 

"Well naturally breakfast comes first when it is this early." He chuckled. "I was asking you to join me for breakfast before we go to the gig." 

"Sure... I also need a favor from you."

"What is it?"

"Hyun Ki, my brother, made a mess.. He bought a really expensive ring with my mom's card and put the blame on me." I slowly pulled myself out of bed and started planning my outfit as I talked to him with my cellphone wedged between my shoulder and my cheek. "Could I borrow some money? To pay you back, the next pay I get today, you can just keep. And tomorrow too if it doesn't cover all of it."

"Sure." He answered easily. "I'll accept that deal." 

"Sweet, thank you." A small smile spread on my face. "Are you picking me up or am I meeting you there?" 

"I'll get you. Text me the amount of money you need and I'll have it ready by the time I get you so you can drop it off at your family's house before the gig today."

"Thanks so much Yoongi." I smiled even wider. "You're a big help. How are you feeling lately? With your parents and stuff, I mean." 

"Mm.. It's whatever. We'll talk about me some other time. Be ready in an hour, okay?"

"Sure." 

He hung up first and I immediately rushed into the bathroom after I had laid my outfit out for the day, texting Yoongi just after I reached the bathroom. It's still cold outside but the snow is almost gone so I can wear something a little lighter, but not too much.

I showered and quickly got changed, just finishing up with my hair when Yoongi knocked. Chico bolted around the house in a barking frenzy and trailed me as I hurried to the door. 

"Your dog is crazy today." Yoongi stared at Chico in shock as Chico shoved himself into Yoongi's legs for attention. 

"I think he just really likes you." I pulled Chico off only to watch him slam his body back into Yoongi's legs anyways. 

"Are you ready?" He chuckled, bending down and furiously rubbing Chico's ears. 

"Me or the dog?" I joked, my heart melting at the sight of both Yoongi's smile and Chico's little dog smile. 

He stood up and I pulled Chico back into the apartment, shutting it quickly so he didn't pop back out. 

Yoongi lead me down the steps and over to his car, entering quickly to avoid the chilly wind. "I forget where your family lives." He mumbled as he reached into the back, shifted through some things, and then handed me an envelope.

"Thank you so much." I took the envelope. "I promise I won't need your money again. ______   ______ is where my Family's house is." 

He just simply nodded and drove off. 

"Can we talk about you now?" I glanced at his face, still blank of emotion as he drove. 

"What are you wanting to know?"

"Have you been upset recently? Like majorly upset?" I gripped the envelope in discomfort. I don't want him to feel like I'm waiting for him to be majorly upset... But I just want to know where his mind is.

"How do you define that?" He let out a small chuckle. "I haven't done anything to myself. I've thought about it but then I've been able to distract myself. Is this what you are trying to ask?"

"Yeah." I sighed with relief, still a bit worried that he was thinking about it but glad nothing went down. "What about your parents?"

"Nothing from them."

"I guess that can be good, right?"

"I guess so." He shrugged. "I could already be disowned though." 

"I doubt it." I reassured a bit. "They'd tell you." 

"So did you figure out your feelings yet?"

"Huh?"

"Taehyung."

"Oh, right." I shifted a bit. "I didn't go on a date with him but I hung out with him and Jungkook the rest of the day after the gig with you." 

"Did you sort anything out then?"

"No not really." I sighed. "Jungkook apparently likes me though. But he said he already likes someone else as well so I don't really have to worry about him." 

"Everyone knew Jungkook liked you." Yoongi laughed again. "You were the only one who didn't." 

"Everyone knew Taehyung liked me too, didn't they?" Yoongi nodded at my words. "What else don't I know?"

"Mm.. A lot." Yoongi shrugged.

"Tell me."

"No thanks."

"Please?"

"Nah."

"Yoongi!" 

"What?"

"Tell me!"

"Why? What is my gain?" 

"I'll... Do whatever you want me to for an entire day."

"What would I need you to do for me?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Okay fine I'll buy you something." I mumbled.

"I don't really have anything I want."

"Not even as a surprise gift?"

"Not really." 

I slumped in the seat and stared out the window. "Does anyone else like me that I should know of?"

"Why don't you ask them yourself?" Yoongi sighed as he pulled over in front of my family's house. "I'll wait in here." 

I nodded lazily and hurried into my family's house. Only my mom was home so that must've meant that my dad was on another business trip. 

Mom glanced up from the laptop at the dining room table and smiled a bit, Nova running around her feet. "What's up, Hana?" 

I held the envelope up and tossed it down on the table. "Hyun Ki bought the ring, I did not." I grumbled. "But there is all my money for the stupid ring."

She check the envelope and gave me a thumbs up. "Thanks, dear." 

"Whatever." I patted Nova's head and then quickly joined Yoongi.

He lifted his head and opened his eyes. "That was quick."

"Yup." I nodded, buckling up quickly. "Let's go! I'm starving!" 

"Patience isn't with you today." He smiled a tiny bit and drove off. 

"Why don't you smile wider?"

"I do."

"More often, then." I rolled my eyes.

"Why don't you stop talking?"

"I do."

"More often, then." 

We both laughed a little before I gave up, not being able to tell whether he was literal or not so just staying quiet. 

He must've been, though, because we remained silent the entire ride to a waffle house just down the road from the gig location. 

"You like American styled breakfast and this is pretty close to where we need to be." Yoongi shut off the car and smiled a bit. "So it's perfect."

"You even remember what kind of breakfast I like most.." I mumbled to myself as we got out of the car. He's sweet. He's got a lot of crap going on his life and he's a damaged person... But he can remember one simple detail about me that I never actually told him out-right... That's so sweet. I'm actually really touched by this small action. 

We seated ourselves and ordered a drink right off the bat. "Hey Yoongi." I put down the menu and stared at him a bit.

"What?" He tapped his fingers on the table and turned his head to look at me. 

"Why aren't you looking at the menu?"

"I'm not hungry."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "You wanted to get breakfast together though. Did you already eat?"

"No." He shifted a bit. "I'm just not hungry."

"Yoongi, you're going to eat." I huffed. "You need to eat. If you're going to skip a meal, then skip lunch at the very least. Never skip breakfast, it's not good for you." 

He bit his lip and glared at me. "Why are you lecturing me?"

"Because you're stubborn." I grinned. "I'll order you something small. I'll have to guess what you like for breakfast if you won't pick for yourself." 

He picked up his menu with a grumpy attitude and quickly picked out what he wanted, the two of us ordering our food just a bit after. "Happy?" He sighed.

"Very." I laughed a bit. "So, will you tell me what else I don't know now? Please?" I pouted a bit. 

"Why don't you just open your eyes?" He mocked me. "It's so obvious." 

"Does it deal with you?" 

"No." He shook his head. 

"Namjoon?" 

"I'm not going to play this game." Yoongi caught on immediately and shut it down. 

I pouted some more and let my forehead rest on the table. "Yoongi, I tell you everything! But you tell me nothing."

"I tell you a lot more things than I tell anyone else." 

"Okay fine, that's true. But not everything."

"You still don't know everything about me so why would I talk about the other guys?"

So it is one of the other ones. Figured. "Can you tell me what I don't know?" 

"Maybe." 

I lifted my head and met his eyes. They were dull and full of exhaustion and this time, he didn't even mask it. "You're struggling a lot still, aren't you?" I tore my gaze away and put my head back down on the table. He talks more when no one is watching him. It must make him feel like I'm not really listening so he's willing to tell more. 

"Of course I am." 

"Have I done anything to help you? I really feel like I haven't.." 

"You have." 

"I don't feel like it." I mumbled, closing my eyes. "But as long as I did, then I'm happy." 

"... Hana. I know you said that this was a long time ago and you're obviously not like that now. But.." He struggled to find words. "Do you ever thin--"

"Do I ever think of hurting myself again?" I assumed what he was going to say and nailed it. It's a common question. I've been asked by Hye Jin multiple times. It was only bound to be asked by Yoongi at some point. "Not really. Even when I get sad and feel low, it's nothing compared to how I felt back then. And even back then, I feel like I was just too immature to handle my feelings properly. Instead, when I get upset, I isolate myself, sometimes clean and sometimes I color. But usually I isolate myself. Only a few times have I had to hang out with someone to feel better. But that's been more lately than ever." 

"I see." He spoke so little but I knew he was thinking about so much. 

"When was the last time you hurt yourself?" I asked boldly, ignoring how uncomfortable he got. I want to know so I can help him. 

But, to my assumption, he didn't answer and instead asked why I wanted to know. 

"So I can help you. If you don't tell me, I can just check myself." I sat up and stared confidently at him. "All I want to do is help you." 

For the first time in a long while, I noticed some rosy color filtering into his pale cheeks and I noticed the slight tug on the corner of his lip for a smile. But the smile never came. I wasn't upset that he never smiled but instead I was overjoyed that he wanted to smile. That was really all I needed to see to know that he truly does want my help even if he's reluctant to answer questions or seems like he's pushing me away at some points. It was really encouraging.

And to my shock once again, he hesitantly put both of his arms on the table, outstretched towards me with the palms on his hands up. He didn't say anything but instead waited for me to check like I threatened to do. 

Aware of the people in the restaurant, I made sure to do it tentatively so that I wouldn't embarrass Yoongi. Starting with his right, I carefully rolled up his sleeve a bit and noticed nothing new, only one or two really old marks further up his arm. 

He must hurt himself further up his arm so that he can save his hands and wrists for piano.. It only makes sense that way after all. 

I rolled his sleeve back down and rolled the other one up, feeling Yoongi tense up. The second he tensed, I knew there was something new here and when I rolled up far enough, I could see the new mark. It sat on the inside of his upper arm and was already closed a bit but was still red and a bit puffy. Without changing my expression, I stood up in my chair and peered at the mark a bit more.

Without thinking, I choose a spot beside the wound and kissed the skin, gently. Yoongi stiffened even more at the action and to be honest, I was shocked myself. What am I doing? What was I thinking? 

I pulled away slowly and rolled down his sleeve with a tiny smile, heat creeping slowly onto my cheeks. "Did you clean it, at least? It doesn't look like it was very deep to begin with so I'm glad for that. What were you thinking when you did it?" 

Yoongi was still stiff and trying to hide his shock as he pulled his arms off the table and cleared his throat. "Why did you do that? Just now?" 

And for some reason, I didn't have an answer. I just smiled a little bigger and repeated my last questions. 

He nodded and smiled a little as well, relaxing. Even though I never gave him an answer, he was fine with just the smile I gave him. "I didn't."

"I assume you mean cleaning wise." I mumbled. "I'll clean it for you before the gig then." 

For quite sometime, Yoongi couldn't lose the smile on his face and because he couldn't, I couldn't either. Laughter errupted between us when we found no words to say and could only just smile and stare at each other. 

Soon enough, the food came and we took our time eating, talking about random things here and there to fill the silence gaps. 

"Hey Yoongi." I sipped my water before speaking and then glanced up at him. He met eye contact and waited for me to say what I had meant to say. "Let's go on a date." 

His expression did not change but the way his mouth twitched showed me that I shocked him a bit. "Why a date? Can't we just hang out?" 

"But I think it would be fun to go on a date." My heart sped up as the suggestion remained unanswered. Why don't I want him to say no? It's his choice. 

"I told you to go on dates with Taehyung and the others guys you might like, not your friend to have fun." He sipped his water and turned his face, rubbing his jaw with discomfort. 

"All the guys have taken me on dates.. But you. The only 'date' we went on was that first gig that you allowed me to tag along on." 

"But we've hung out plenty more times than the others as well. I think I've made up for the amount of times they have taken you out, don't you think?"

My heart returned to its normal speed and even ached a bit. And rejected. Well, he's right though. I should be asking Taehyung and Hobi on dates to see where my feelings lie, not a friend to just have fun. 

I finished my meal just as Yoongi did and watched as he went up to pay for the meal, leaving me no chance to even try to pay for it even though I wasn't going to since he offered it in the first place.

He returned to slip on his jacket and then lead me back out to his car, peeking behind him as I trailed him instead of walking beside him. 

We slipped into the car, started it up, and drove off, my gaze diverted out the window the whole time. I know it was just me asking him on a date for the fun of it and to get him out more, but I'm still pretty upset about it... He didn't have to reject me. 

I could feel Yoongi's uncomfort billowing off of him like steam to a pot. So much so that I glanced at him and questioned him. "What's up?"

"Hm?" Yoongi spared a glance at me before eyeing the road again. "Nothing. Why are you so silent?" 

"I've run out of things to say." I sat up and pointed to a convenience store. "Stop there a second." 

He did as he was told without questioning it and watched as I took my own leave and entered the store with the little money I had brought with me. 

I bought a few bandages, a medical wrap, and some anti-infective cream before exiting the store and sitting back in the car. 

"Take your jacket off." I mumbled, digging through the bag. "I told you I was going to clean it." 

He moved his seat back a bit and took off his jacket, eyeing me the entire time. 

I reached over and took hold of his arm, rolling up the sleeve, and preparing the cream. 

"Is it going to hurt?" He asked quietly. 

I paused and stared at him with amusement. "Are you afraid of the medicine?" 

He glanced out the window in embarrassment. "Not really. I just asked so I can prepare."

"Well you didn't clean it but it also doesn't look very fresh. Did this occur last night?" He nodded briefly and then I nodded as well. "It shouldn't hurt that bad." 

I carefully spread the cream onto his wound and receiving no reaction from Yoongi; I took it as it didn't hurt. After that was finished, I put a few bandages on it and then wrapped his arm in the medical wrap I bought. 

"The bandages will probably try to fall off, that's why I bought this wrap too. So that they stay on. You can take the wrap off when you're wearing shorter sleeves or something. Just with long sleeves, I don't want the bandages coming off." I announced as I finished, rolling down his sleeves and waiting for him to put his jacket back on. 

I placed the items in the bag and put the bag in the back as Yoongi fixed his seat back to the original position. 

"Thanks." He muttered as he drove off. 

"If you ever want to hurt yourself, please call me. Use me as a distraction, talk to me, invite me over, anything." I stared at him, completely serious. "Please?"

"Then you'd end up living at my house." He responded quietly, not daring to glance my way.

My heart ached yet again at his comment and I focused out the window. He wants to hurt himself constantly? I'm worried that some day he'll attempt worse like he has said he did in the past. 

I just want to help him. 

But how do you help someone who's own body wants them dead?

--

"Hobi didn't have to speak today?" I glanced at Yoongi as we made our way out. 

"It was a one time thing." He sighed. "I'll show you the rest of what your job will entail at my house today and then you'll be on your own with all this. Deal?"

"Deal." I nodded, about to get into his car when I noticed Kyu standing outside the gallery, staring at us casually. "Hey Yoongi..."

"What?"

"Do you think that he's a little strange?"

"Who?" Yoongi glanced around. 

"Him." I carefully pointed to Kyu. "Hobi isn't here today so why is he here? He told me that he wants leadership over Hobi and will be mad if he doesn't get it. He also confronted me about the rings and all you guys... Doesn't he seem a little strange?"

"Sounds like he's jealous of Hobi." Yoongi eyed Kyu. "And it's almost like he's following you." 

"Following me? Why would he?" 

"Because to him, you belong to Hobi." Yoongi explained. "And if he's jealous of Hobi and wants to be leader, then he's going to want to ruin Hobi's good reputation with whoever is in charge of their group. You're a good link to Hobi right now since he's suspecting something strange between you two." 

"Do you really think he'd do that?"

"I don't know, I don't know him." Yoongi shrugged. "But it's the common thing to do in that industry. To sabotage others, I mean."

"What should I do? Should I confront him then?" 

"No, you leave him be." Yoongi looked back at me. "You don't know him very well either, you have no idea what his intentions are. This was only my guess." 

"But..--"

"Come on, let's go." Yoongi put an arm around my waist and lead me over to the passenger side, opening the door and helping me get inside before I could complain. 

But instead of getting in the car, Yoongi went up to Kyu, who was making his way down the steps outside the gallery. And he told me not approach who? This guy... 

I watched them, curious to what was going on but it looked like nothing more than a casual conversation. Kyu laughed, Yoongi smiled, they talked a bit and were relaxed around each other. What are they talking about? 

Soon enough it was over and Kyu went one way and Yoongi came this way, slipping in the car.

"What was that about?" I asked Yoongi immediately. 

Yoongi shrugged. "I just asked him why he was here and went along with the lie he fed me."

"How do you know it was a lie?"

"You learn to see through people when you become the observer." He sighed.

"So what was he here for then?"

"I don't know. I just know he wasn't here for what he said he was here for." Yoongi glanced at me. "Just watch him. I don't think he's going to hurt you or touch you in anyway. I just think he's looking to spread a rumor about you and Hobi. But I don't think he's going to mess with you."

"Well that's good... I think."

"It is good. Hobi knew things would get nasty once he entered the industry. Hobi will take care of things, just keep yourself reserved around him." Yoongi drove off with nothing else to say.

I smiled a bit. "You were worried, right? You were worried he was trying to hurt me." 

"Who said that?" Yoongi spoke bluntly, his mouth twitching a bit. 

"That." I poked his cheek, startling him.

"I'm driving!" He warned, pushing my hand away. "That what?"

"Your mouth twitches when you're uncomfortable so that must mean you lied."

"I could be uncomfortable for any reason." 

"But it was right after you spoke."

"Maybe I'm uncomfortable talking."

I slumped a bit. "Why can't you just say you were worried?"

He stayed silent a bit. "Fine, I was worried."

My body tingled with warmth and I immediately sat up, grinning. "I knew it!"

"Who wouldn't though? Some strange guy is following a girl, that's not normal." A rosy color krept back onto his pale cheeks as he spoke. 

"You're just too sweet for your own good." I mumbled to myself, watching out the window. "I like hanging out with you." 

"Why?"

"Because." 

"Because why?"

"Who's asking too many questions now?" I laughed. 

"Sorry." He laughed a little as well and we fell into silence, the soft piano music on the radio was the only thing heard other than the running car. 

"Hey Yoongi." 

"Hey what." He sighed, probably annoyed that I broke the silence again. 

"When was the last time you hung out with the others?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Because they're your friends too."

"Karaoke." 

"Don't you want to hang out with them more?"

"I normally am the one who doesn't hang out with them as often. It's just how I like things." 

"Okay, that works, I guess."

"So how often do you hang out with the others then?" He countered my previous question.

"I was just with Jungkook and Taehyung a few days ago. I haven't seen Jin, Namjoon, and Jimin since karaoke. And I saw Hobi. But I haven't hung out with any of them except you, Taehyung, and Jungkook." 

"You should hang out with Namjoon sometime soon. He got dumped."

"Dumped?"

"He went on a second date but it didn't go as well as the first and she didn't want to meet up with him again when it ended." Yoongi smirked a bit. "Namjoon wasn't making moves on her like she wanted. He got dumped for stupid reasons." 

"Poor Namjoon." I mumbled. "At least he's a good person and tried to get to know her first." 

"Yeah." Yoongi agreed, pulling onto the side of the road and stopping the car. 

I followed him into the house and sat on the couch as he organized things. He moved the coffee table closer to the couch, spread out the binders on the table, gathered some pens and pencils, and even got another binder for me to keep track of my schedule. He's a pretty organized person despite all the broken and disorderly things going on in his life behind the scenes. 

When he got everything set up, he sat down beside me and put his cellphone on the table, opening his contacts. "Get your phone out."

"Oh!" I quickly got my phone out and put it next to his, allowing him to open my contacts app.

"You need all of the numbers labeled with an 'A' at the beginning and end of the name." 

"Who's are they?" 

"I'll tell you later." He pushed the phones towards me and waited patiently as I copied down all 8 of the contacts he wanted me to have. 

"Now what?"

He shifted a bit closer to me to reach the binder he got for me and opened it, having already a bunch of papers and dividers evenly organized in it. "Write those numbers down on this page..." He said as he turned to a small phonebook-like page and pointed to it. "And then along with it, I'll tell you who they are and why you need them." 

"You're so organized, I'm amazed..." I sighed to myself as I copied them down in a pen he handed to me. 

He quickly explained who belonged to each number and why I need them, waiting for me to scratch down answers in between, and then went on to explain more about my role. I was, for a fact, his assistant, that was for sure. 

He had my number being used to take calls from possible clients, his was a backup now, and he had me basically schedule everything for him. The only time it seemed that I'd need him was to make sure he felt up to doing the gig in the first place. But I scheduled everything, I met with the clients alone when needed to be met with unless they asked to see Yoongi as well, I called clients to remind them of standing contracts with them or to try and get them to consider him without them coming to us first, and I gathered the music and delivered it to Yoongi. Yoongi still took care of all the money stuff but I did everything else for him. 

"Not bad." I nodded slowly, soaking up all the information and taking notes on a separate piece of lined paper in the binder given to me. "I'll forget if I don't write this down." 

"It's fine. That's all you really have to do." He stretched a bit. "I generally keep myself away from being worked a lot. I make a lot of money per gig so I don't have to take on a lot. Just don't overwork me and your job is easier as well." 

"Cool." I shut the binder and smiled a bit. "At least this job isn't repetitive like my last one. Plus I'm working for someone I like to be around." 

"You'll get tired of me eventually." He sighed and stood up, leaving the room.

"Hey, what is that supposed to mean? I never get tired of you." I called after him but he disappeared into a room I hadn't yet been in. Does he think I'll be annoyed by him soon? I wonder if he has some form of anxiety as well.. 

I stood up and was about to go follow him when someone knocked and then entered without waiting. To be honest, I expected it to be his parents since everytime I'm over here, it was always one of them or both of them. But it was Hoseok and he came no further in my direction when he spotted me. 

I waved at him and cast a smile but he remained still with no change of expression.

"Who is at the door?" Yoongi asked as he joined my side, glancing at the door. "Ah, Hobi. I forgot you were going to visit today." 

"I can leave if you're busy."

"Not really, we just finished up the rest of what we needed to do." Yoongi shook his head.

I narrowed my eyes at the ground and sat on the couch, expecting Yoongi to join me but instead he sat on the opposite couch with Hoseok. 

I'm third-wheeling. Great. 

"So did you talk with him about your issues?" Yoongi asked. 

"Kyu? No, not yet. He's getting a bit bossy with the boys and it's becoming harder to be engergizing around them with him putting us all down." Hoseok sighed. "I don't know what to do with Kyu. He was fine when we met him, always a bit stand-offish, but now he's just... Mean." 

I wonder if he told Hobi about Kyu being around me. I doubt it since I haven't seen Yoongi contact anyone this entire day.

I sat there and played on my phone while the two talked, eventually disappearing somewhere else. When they did, I watched a few YouTube videos and ended up crashing out on the couch then and there. 

I'm glad Hobi has someone to vent to...

Even if he seems to hate me now...

Ahh... Not much happening in this chapter...

Writing about Yoongi makes me feel laid back and down to Earth while writing about our Hobi makes me feel like I need to go hike a mountain to get rid of all the energy. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! The next 7 chapters will be a bit different. There will be a chapter in the perspective of each BTS member. The main goal of these chapters is to show the conflicts the boys are suffering beyond what Hana can see or knows about so far. You will be able to see some pieces Hana is missing to some of the more silent boys. I think it'll be an interesting feature and I'm excited to reveal these conflicts about the boys a bit more! Thanks for reading, as always! ~PandaBiscuit~