"Hana...? Hana!" Ji Ho clapped in front of my face, startling me back to reality. "What're you thinking about?"

I dropped my head into my palms and frowned. "I was doing some counting in my head and I officially only have 2 months with the guys left."

"Good." Hyejin grumbled. 

"They're my friends, all of them.. I don't want to part with them." 

"You hang out with one almost every day. Do you know how hard it was to meet with you today?" Hyejin complained some more, sipping her coffee.

"I haven't even hung out any of them since like a week ago. And even then, Yoongi and I only had lunch and then we parted."

"Yoongi is the one that has been taking you places a lot, isn't he?" Ji Ho asked. "I hear his name a lot lately."

"Yeah, he is."

"I bet he likes you."

"I bet he doesn't." I grumbled, picking my head up out of my hands. "Anymore, at least." 

"Well anyways, I'm leaving." Hyejin stood up, picking up her purse and putting down some money on the table. "Here's for my bill."

"Huh? Where are you going?" I stood up in alarm. "We're going to see a movie, remember?" 

"Sorry, I have other people to see." She lied confidently. " to be put last even when we have plans, huh?"

"Hyejin-ah..." I watched her leave, my eyes glossy. I didn't put her off this much... Did I? 

Ji Ho panicked and put some more money on the table as well. "Sorry, Hana, I don't want to leave you here alone but I have to catch up with her." 

"Huh? Ji Ho..." I watched him go as well. 

I sat down with defeat, biting my lip to keep from shedding a tear. Don't cry over something so small. When did you become so emotional, Hana? 

I pulled the movie tickets out from under the wads of cash on the table and frowned. What do I do? I bought these for us... I can't just have them go to waste.. 

Pulling out my phone, I dialed Hoseok's number as he was the first person to pop in my mind. "Hobi-ah, are you busy?"

"Huh? Sorry, could you repeat that?" Hoseok's voice cracked over the loud music.

"You must be busy."

"Wh... Re you ... aying?" 

I hung up with frustration and then dialed Yoongi's number. But he didn't answer. What the hell? If Taehyung is busy... I'm really screwed. 

"Taehyung-ah... Are you busy?" I asked the moment he picked up, my heart lifting with hope. 

"I'm with So Ra but she'd be happy to hang out with you as well if you're inviting me to do that." He answered with a slight chuckle. 

"So Ra?" I smiled to myself. "That works perfectly. I was supposed to see a movie with Hyejin and Ji Ho but they left. We already preordered the tickets so I was looking for someone to go with me." 

"Is it kid friendly?" 

"Of course. It's just a comedy movie but it's rated PG-13 so it shouldn't be too bad. If anything, she'll be bored." I paused a second. "We could trade in the tickets, couldn't we? I know we can't refund them but if there are times that match and open seats available, we could trade in the tickets."

"I doubt we'll get that lucky." 

"True but we can try."

"Sure then. Do you want me to get you at all?"

"No, I'm just a 10 minute walk from the theater already. I was out with them before hand." 

"Okay, see you then. Walk safely." 

"Of course." I hung up just as Yoongi called me back. Too late. "Yoongi, what's up?"

"What'd you call for?" He asked, his voice slightly groggy. 

"Were you sleeping?"

"Something like that." 

"Go back to sleep then." I sighed. 

"What'd you want?"

"I was going to ask you to see a movie with me but I'm going with Taehyung and So Ra instead."

"Ah." He sounded slightly disappointed. "So Ra? That little kid?"

"Yeah."

"He's always around her.." 

"I know, I gotta go though."

"Oh okay, have fun." 

"Yeah." I hung up, slipping my phone into my purse, and then putting my portion of the bill on the table and waving down the waitress. "Tip is included." 

"Thank you, have a nice day." She smiled, counting the money to make sure it was all correct. 

"You as well." I sighed once more and left, beginning my walk to the theater. 

I know I didn't really hang out with Hyejin a lot.. But did I really seem like I was putting her last?

I feel so horrible with myself. 

--

"Hm, Hana, could you help me with something?" Taehyung stared at the steering wheel.

"What is it?" 

"So Ra's aunt said that she wouldn't sign her up for anymore art classes. But she really likes them.." Taehyung rubbed the back of his neck, smiling childishly at me. "Could you help me with upfront fee? Just this once. I'll pay you back."

"I'll pay for it this once but you don't have to pay me back." I mumbled, reaching my hand out for So Ra to grab as we exited the car. 

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure." I smiled down at So Ra as she took my hand and we began our walk down the sidewalk to get to the park near my house, Taehyung walking on the otherside of So Ra and holding her hand as well. 

"Oppa, do we get to see the other man today too?" So Ra looked to Taehyung. "I saw him a long time ago at school. He liked Hana unni as well." 

"Is she talking about Yoongi?" I asked Taehyung and he nodded. 

"Yoongi met her the other day and she remembered him from the festival. She liked him even though he didn't do much with her." Taehyung sighed. "No, we don't get to see Yoongi oppa today." 

"Yoongi oppa." She repeated with a smile. "What about Hobi?"

"She calls him Hobi too." I giggled. 

"I really like Hobi." So Ra smiled up at me. "I'm going to marry him when I get older."

"Are you?"

"Yeah, he said he'd marry me when I'm ready." She blushed a little. "He's going to become rich and famous soon and then he'll marry me and I'll become rich and famous."

"Is that so?" I chuckled along with her. "What if I want to marry Hobi?"

"Huh?" Taehyung whined.

"No! Hobi can't marry Hana unni.." So Ra lost the smile and pouted. "Hobi is going to marry me, he already told me. You can marry oppa." 

"Taehyung oppa?" 

"Yeah. Taehyung oppa likes you a lot."

Taehyung tsked at her and then stared blankly in front of him, his cheeks slightly red. To think you were once such a cruel jerk to me. 

"Who will Yoongi oppa marry then?" I asked her. 

"Hm..." She thought a while but didn't have an answer. "He doesn't get married!" 

"That's sad."

"No, it's not! He'll find someone." She gave another smile, trying to cheer me up even though I was just pretending to be sad.

"Oh ho, what is this?" Hyun Ki ran over to us, shocked. "Hana, you had a child?"

"Oh shut up." I joked, knowing he was as well. "This is So Ra and Kim Taehyung." 

Taehyung bowed his head a little and then looked to So Ra, mouthing to her to bow as well and she did. Taehyung looked up with a proud expression. "Park Hyun Ki, I remember you." 

"Drop the formalities." Hyun Ki smiled. "What're you three out here doing?" 

We let go of So Ra's hand as she ran into Hyun Ki's legs, hugging them tightly. "I wanna marry this oppa too."

"What about Hobi oppa?" I chided, playfully. 

"I can marry them both. This oppa is handsome too."

"She's going to be a boy killer." Hyun Ki giggled, tearing her off his legs and squatting down to be at her level. He held his hand out and smiled even wider. "Hello, my name is Park Hyun Ki. What is your name, pretty girl?"

So Ra cupped her cheeks and giggled. "I'm So Ra. Yi So Ra. Thank you for calling me pretty." 

"So Ra is a pretty name too." Hyun Ki ruffled her hair and stood up. "So, I'll ask again. What're you three going to do?" 

So Ra clung onto his legs once more, causing a few chuckled from Taehyung and Hyun Ki once more.

"We're just going to the park." I answered easily.

"We saw a movie earlier. But we couldn't swap the tickets so So Ra had to watch a boring movie. The park is our way of making it up to her." Taehyung finished. 

"Sounds like fun." Hyun Ki turned his attention to me. "I was actually on my way to talk to you."

"About what?" 

"Can you give me Min Yoongi's phone number?"

"Huh?" Taehyung and I both said at the same time. 

"His phone number." Hyun Ki chuckled at our baffled expressions. "One of my friends is in need of a pianist and you talked highly of him." 

"Oh, then, sure. But usually I do the scheduling and talking for him since I'm kind of like his assistant." 

"Hm? Can you give it to me?" Hyun Ki pressed on anyways and I ultimately failed at holding strong and entered Yoongi's number into his phone. "Thank you, baby sister."

Taehyung crossed his arms and pouted but didn't say a word. 

"Well then, I'll be off. Have fun!" He waved at us and then at So Ra before disappearing back the way he had come.

"Jerk. He only ever sees me uninvited to get things from me." I sighed, holding So Ra's hand once more. "Let's get to the park and have fun!" 

"Yoongi always gets in the way one way or another.." Taehyung hissed under his breath, picking up So Ra and running down the sidewalk with her, giggles erupting as they vanished quickly.

"Huh? Gets in the way?" I frowned. Is he mad again? I took off after the two, not liking that the feeling of being left behind. 

Taehyung smiled at me when I caught up, entering the park with So Ra on his shoulders. "Wassup?"

"Why'd you take off like that?"

"It was fun." Taehyung sighed. "So Ra, where do you wanna go?"

"Over there!" She pointed towards the swings near the basketball court. 

"Where? I can't see where you're pointing. Tell me." 

"The swings!"

"Swings it is!" He giggled and hurried off towards the swings.

I couldn't hold back a smile as I followed as well. We're lucky it isn't chilly outside today. 

Taehyung took her off his shoulders and set her down on one of the swings. "Hold on tightly, I'm going to push you, okay?"

"Oppa, I know how to swing.." She grumbled.

"Can't I push you?" He pouted. 

"Me too, me too." I asked cutely as I sat down on the swing beside her. 

"Push me too then!" She immediately agreed. 

"Wah.. If Hana wants to be pushed, then you do?"

"I wanna do everything she does, so, yes." So Ra giggled as Taehyung pushed her.

"What about me?" I pouted. 

Taehyung let out a playful scoff before coming over and pushing me as well, sometimes a little rougher than the rest to tease me. He took turns pushing the both of us back and forth, So Ra and I just giggling for no reason. 

"Yah, when can I swing? So Ra, will you push me?" Taehyung complained. 

"Oppa, you can't swing."

"Why not?"

"Because I am!" 

"Tch!" Taehyung sighed. "Oppa is tired." 

"Baby." I mocked, playfully.

"Yeah, baby." So Ra mocked as well. 

"Yah, not fair." 

We all had fun and laughed for a while. It only came to an end when So Ra got tired and asked to go home. 

Taehyung put So Ra back on his shoulders and walked me home. "Today was fun, Hana." He smiled as we reached my complex. "I'm glad you called me out." 

"I am too." I returned his smile, reaching up on my tip toes to poke So Ra's nose. "See you later, So Ra." 

"Bye, Hana unni." She waved with a yawn.

Taehyung gave another wider smile and leaned in, kissing my cheek suddenly enough to make my heart race.

"Yah, Taehyung.." 

"Shh." He put his finger to his lips, his smile becoming a smirk. "Just this once. See you later, Hana, my princess."

"Your princess?" I scoffed, watching him head towards his car as he threw up one last wave. "Why the kiss so suddenly..?" 

I touched my cheek as I watched him buckle So Ra up and drive off. Taehyung... I hate hurting you.. But I don't think you're even trying to get rid of your feelings for me.

I don't want you hurt anymore. 

Please.. Just forget about me. I'm not a great person anyways. 

--

"Let's go out." I proposed. "Just us. We can just completely let lose like before."

"Ji Ho and I have plans."

"Ji Ho?" I scoffed. "Yah, come on. I can even join!"

"No thanks." She hung up.

Dammit Hyejin. I stared at the ceiling helplessly. Should I wait for Yoongi to call me out? I want to see Hobi... But he's so busy... 

Deciding to try Hoseok once more, I dialed his number, glad that he answered so quickly. "Hobi-ah! Are you busy still?" 

He sighed, not responding for a moment. "I am. But if you would like, you could come hang out with us at the studio. We're practicing and recording a few things." 

"Hm.. I really want to see you but I don't want to be in the way. Let's just do something when you're not busy."

"It'll only get worse, you know."

"Huh?"

"Me being busy. The closer debut comes, the busier I'll get.. And we don't have long."

"I know that but.." I bit my lip. "I'll get in the way. I was with Taehyung and So Ra yesterday."

"Why are you changing the subject?" 

"Because I don't want to think about not seeing you for a year." I leaned up against my wall, frowning. "What do I do?" 

"Did you call Yoongi? I think you two should spend the mose time together."

"How can you be so supportive?" 

"Hm?"

"You confessed to me yet.. You want me to be with Yoongi so much."

"Don't say it like that." He sighed once more. "It hurts." 

"I'm sorry... I don't want to hurt you."

"Give Yoongi a call. He's been pretty down lately."

"Down?"

"Yeah, I don't know, he's always cold and grumpy around us. But lately, it just seems to be worse than normal. He never listens to what people are actually saying, he gets lost in thought, he randomly leaves and just disappears for a few hours, sometimes he even leaves for the entire day. He just... Doesn't seem normal lately. Maybe it has something to do with you leaving soon?"

"I doubt it..." I pushed myself off the wall, worry hitting me like a brick. "I'll give him a call and see whats up. But you have to promise me that the first free day you have, you'll call me so I can see you. I need some more of my sunshine in my life."

He chuckled. "Of course. You're always the first person on my mind." 

"See you later Hobi."

"Bye, Hana." 

I hung up quickly and gave Yoongi a call, my heart racing with both frustration and worry when he didn't pick up. 

Calm down Hana, there are plenty of reasons why he might not be answering the phone. Just because of what Hobi said doesn't mean anything bad is going on right this second. He would call me if it were bad.. Wouldn't he? He told me he would... 

But he's a liar. 

Even I know that. 

I glanced at Chico and sighed. "I'm going to go visit Yoongi.. If something bad is happening, I'll regret not checking. Better safe than sorry, right?" Chico just looked at me like I was crazy as I slipped on a jacket and some shoes. "I know, Chico, I'm crazy. I'll be home later."

--

I knocked on Yoongi's door but he didn't answer. When I tried to go inside, the door was locked. He must not be home then. I glanced around for his car and sure enough, it wasn't around. Stupid Hana. Why did I come all the way over here without plans anyways? We aren't like we were before, he might get offended by this lately. 

I decided to just wait there to see if he would come home soon. I didn't have anything else planned and he had been silent lately, plus what Hoseok told me. I just want to confirm he's okay before I leave him alone. 

From: Hobi

Where are you?

To: Hobi

I went to Yoongi's. He's not here though but I'm waiting to see if he comes home soon. 

From: Hobi

Don't wait too long. It's supposed to be chilly..

To: Hobi

I won't.

From: Hobi

Anyways, we were driving by to get more food and I stopped at your house to give you some snacks we bought. You'd enjoy them. Since you didn't lock your door, I just went in and put them in the fridge. Do you have a key? I don't want to lock you out of your house.

To: Hobi

Aww! I wish I was home now :( Yeah, you can lock it. I forget all the time

From: Hobi

I know. You need to stop doing that. What if someone breaks in one day ;( 3 

To: Hobi

Other than you boys, no one would dare. <3 

From: Hobi

Alright, well I locked your door and left. I'll talk to you later then :D

To: Hobi

Thanks for the snacks, I bet they're super good!

From: Hobi

They are! You'll love them

To: Hobi

:) 

"What're you doing?" Yoongi's voice startled me as I glanced up quickly, getting to my feet.

"I was waiting for you."

"Why?" His head titled slightly with curiousity. Because I'm worried about you. 

"I had nothing to do." I put my phone in my pocket and smiled. "Where'd you go? Was it fun?"

"I met up with someone." He sighed, seeming to relex a bit more when I changed the subject. "Do you want to do something with me then?"

"Yeah." I dropped my head with shame. "I do." 

"Okay, let's do it then."

I lifted my head once more and gave him a guilty expression. "Sorry... I should've just waited for you to invite me out."

"Why? You never did before." He gave a slight smile. "I'm not the boss of you. Do what you want." 

"By the way... Who did you meet up with?" 

"Just someone."

"Ah, okay.." Another girl? Is he seeing someone? Of course not Hana... He said he liked you.. But what if he is? 

"Come on, let's go."

"Where are we going?" I asked, another smile creeping onto my face as I followed him to his car. 

"Just somewhere." 

"Okay.." You're secretive today.. I don't know if I like it. I feel like you're closing off even more to me again. 

We slipped into the car and drove off in silence, Yoongi having to turn up the piano music as it was beginning to get awkward. 

"Hey Yoongi."

"Hey what?"

"How are you lately?" 

"What do you mean?" 

"At the water park last week, you were really happy and such. But you don't really seem that way anymore." 

"I was in a place that made me happy with people who makes me happy." 

"What about now?"

"I'm with a person who make me anxious and stressed." 

"At least your honest." I frowned. "Drop me off at Hobi's studio. I don't want to continue making you feel burdened. I thought you were upset lately so I wanted to help but it's me making you that way." 

He didn't say anything and just continued driving. 

"Yoongi, did you hear me?" I glanced over at him as single tear dropped from his eye, my eyes widening with shock. "Yoongi? Are you upset?" Was it something I said? 

He sighed and swiped it away, forcing a pathetic smile. "I'm just thinking of something someone told me today." 

"Who? What'd they say?" It hurt you.. I want to yell at whoever hurt you.. 

"Doesn't matter." He parked the car and looked over at me. "We're here." 

"Hm? Where?" I glanced around and then stopped, looking back at him. "Stop changing the subject. Answer me." 

"I don't want to." He lost his fake smile and got out of the car, walking towards the bench. 

"Why are we here?" I got out of the car as well and followed after him, not sitting with him though. Why the Han river? 

"Mm.. The Han river is special to me." He started, staring at the ground. 

"Why?"

"It's where my parents took me after we discovered my mental illness." 

"Oh.. Is it a good memory then?"

"Not really." He scoffed. 

"Then why do you come here?"

"This is the last place I heard them tell me that they sincerely loved me and cared about me." He sighed once more and glanced back at me and then to the river below. "All those years ago. It's been that long." 

I hung my head a bit, my eyebrows furrowing with frustration. "Have you been with them lately?"

"I saw my father the other day. But my mother is still so reluctant.." 

"Your father seems to be right in between, you know that?" 

"I know. He's always been that way. One day he'll be on my mother's side and the next he'll be on mine." 

"I wonder why." 

"He doesn't have a mind of his own." 

"Is that who you met with today?"

"No."

"Who then?" I sat down beside him, keeping space between us. 

"Why do you want to know so bad?"

"Nana?"

He smirked and shook his head, crossing a leg over the other and pulled out his phone. "Let me show you something." 

"Hm? You keep changing the subject. I'm not letting it go this time." I complained, staring as he shifting through his photos. 

"Don't you want to see what was in this folder that made me freak out on you?" He pointed to the folder titled 'Happy'. 

I fought with myself a little bit, giving in eventually. "Fine but I'll get it out of you eventually. Oh, by the way, did you ever finish the song we started a while ago?"

"I did."

"Can I hear it?"

"Do you want to see the folder or not?"

"Yes, yes, I do!" 

He tapped the folder and scrolled hesitantly through the pictures. I smiled, noticing how many were of him when he was younger with his parents. There were a ton of the boys until we got towards the bottom and then I started to see a few pictures of myself mixed in with the boys. There were pictures I took myself, pictures I knew he took but didn't mind, and then pictures that I didn't even know were taken. 

"Oh.. There are so many of me!" I smiled a little wider, my heart beginning to race. 

He stopped scrolling when we got to the end, the last picture being a picture of myself and the other boys leaving the waterpark. 

"Why didn't you want me to see this? That's nothing bad!" I moved away from him once more. "Why did you just now decide to show me?" 

"Hm.. I didn't want you to know how happy you actually make me." 

My smile disappeared as I was left staring helplessly at him in complete silence. 

"I always lie to you. Even a few minutes ago when I said that you make me stressed and anxious." He stared at his photo album as he talked. "I took you here because I find it really hard to lie to people when I'm at this place."

"You can keep lying to me. It hurts me but it's helping me move on from you, like we want." I spoke quickly but he shook his head.

"I don't want that. I don't want to lie to you, I don't want to hurt you.. And I don't want to lose you." 

"Y-Yoongi, don--"

"But I don't want to be with you either." He looked me straight in the eye, making me unable to look away. "I'm selfish and I want you to like me but I don't want to return anything." 

"Because you're afraid, right?" 

"Something like that."

"Why are you telling me this? You're making it so hard for me.." I rubbed my forehead, trying to keep myself from crying. I'm so pathetic. He's hurt me so many times but every time he tells me that he doesn't want to be with me, I just lose all the strength I have. "Do you know how hard it is to like someone when you know that they never want to like you back? Your lies help me move on but just before I think I can finally look somewhere else, you do something like this. You hug me, you hold my hand, you smile and laugh around me... You become honest and say all these things.. And my heart just comes back to you. Do you understand how hard this is?"

"Yes." He never looked away, even when I was finally able to myself. 

"So why?"

"I told you.. I'm selfish. I want you but I don't want to give anything back. I'm not a nice person. I held off for so long because I knew Taehyung and Hobi liked you.. But it all crashed down on me anyways." 

"You are a nice person.." 

"I'm not, Hana." He scolded, his eyebrows furrowing together into a tight knot. "I lie, I deceive, I hurt people, I lack everything.. I'm a horrible person."

"No you're not." I continued to protest. "You view yourself like this because of--"

"Because of what?" He interrupted me. 

My eyes darted around, searching for a way out of this because I just dug myself a hole. If I tell him it's because of his illness... He'll get mad and go on a tangent about how horribly true it is and then he'll wind up feeling even worse about it. 

What do I do? 

But to my luck, he stopped pressing me and relaxed, his face no longer tense and angry. "I'm sorry." 

"Why'd you tell me all this?" I asked carefully, making sure I didn't cross any unwritten boundaries between us. 

He ignored me and pulled out his headphones, plugging them into the headphone jack and putting the earbuds into my ears. "Tell me if it's too loud."

I rubbed my eyes and let out a sigh to calm myself down as music filled my ears. Is this the song I helped him start? I helped him pick a theme but I don't know anything else beyond that. 

After the soft piano melody in the beginning died away, a voice sounded above the melody that started playing once more, even softer than the last. This voice... 

I glanced at Yoongi. It's Taehyung's. 

Taehyung's voice was so deep, clear, and smooth. He sang the lyrics with emotion as the piano melody in the back built up. He's singing about me, that I can tell. But these aren't his memories with me. These are Yoongi's..

Taehyung is singing the song Yoongi and I started. 

I went to remove the earbuds but Yoongi's hands covered my ears, preventing me from doing such a thing. I listened to the rest of the song, his hands never leaving. 

He stopped the song before the last phrases were sang and removed the earbuds, speaking first. "You're right. It's our song and Taehyung sang it." 

"Why didn't you let me hear the last words?" 

"Because I decided not to be too selfish." He smiled. "I used your theme. But I twisted it."

"So I've noticed." I couldn't help but return the smile. "I'm honored to have the great Yoongi write me a song. Honestly. I.. I see how you view me now. And I'm glad it isn't as bad as I was tricked into believing." 

He put his phone and headphones back into his pocket, moving away from me. "We have 2 months left. I figured you should know how I truly feel and view you. Now when you hear all my lies, you'll know the truth and I won't feel as guilty. Besides, I never was able to confess to you. Taehyung kind of ruined it." 

I nodded, my eyes traveling to his lips before I tore them away. Don't Hana. He literally just rejected you a few minutes ago and nearly made you cry. 

Yoongi's lips arced into a smirk before he turned away, looking at the river once more. "I feel much lighter." 

"Tch.. I was burdening you regardless." I grumbled, still stuck with a stupid smile on my lips. "I want to see Hobi. I missed my chance to see him while I was waiting for you to come home. OH! Who the hell were you with?"

He let out a light hearted laugh, looking back at me with his cute gummy smile. "Will you ever let it go?"

"Tell me before I throw you in this damn river!" I threatened. 

"Try me, I think the only person who'll end up in the river is yourself." He returned the threat. "Don't worry about it, it was a client." 

"You said you didn't lie here."

"I said it was hard for me to lie, not that I couldn't."

"Yah! Stop lying!" I whined.

"I'm not. They seriously were clients. I'm just not telling you the full purpose." 

"I hate you so much."

"I know."

"Stop it, no I don't."

"Make up your mind." He chuckled again. "I'd like it better if you hated me."

"No you wouldn't."

"Let's go somewhere else."

"Why? So you can lie freely?" I mocked, following him anyways. 

"Because I want to go somewhere else." He gave me an irritated look. "I shouldn't have said anything."

"Then you'd be guilty."

"But now you're going to win in every argument." He got in the car, locking the door before I could climb in as well. 

"YAH!" I hit the window. "Let me in!" 

He rolled it down a little, giving another annoying smirk. "Why? Maybe I decided to go on my own." 

"Don't leave me here!" I laughed, slightly panicked. "Yoongi!" 

"I won't.." He laughed as well, unlocking the door and watching as I climbed in as fast as I could. "Where do you want to go?"

"Lead me." I shrugged. "I got no where in particular."

"I got no where." He repeated. "You speak well." 

"Shut up.." I tsked, shaking my head slightly as he drove off. He was so honest with me. Has he been wanting to do that for a while and only just now worked up the courage? 

Or did he just decide to do it since he had me there? 

Who knows... I like that I know how he truly feels.

But I don't know what to trust or believe from him.

He's 100% right.

He's a liar. 

--

"Hobi-ah, are you here? I saw your car." I called out as I stepped into my apartment, patting Chico on the head. 

No response. 

"Hobi?" I called again but still nothing. "Huh. I swear that was his ca--" I stopped in my tracks when I saw him passed out on the couch, his face squished against the back of the couch with his back facing me. I giggled a little and went over to wake him up but then stopped myself. He's probably exhausted.. He's been so busy lately.. 

But he shouldn't sleep on the couch. His back will hurt him. 

I decided to just feed Chico and get around for bed. It was only nearing 7pm but everything had been done and finished on my side. Yoongi and I hung out practically the entire day with on and off hostility towards each other. That's how it was nowadays though. One second we'll be fine around each other and laughing and then the next we're trying to pull the other's hair out in frustration and anger. But I was use to it by now. 

After all... I know the truth. He let me see a little bit of his heart today and I know it all now. I just wish he wanted to be with me. 

Shaking my head to berid the thoughts, I went back over to Hoseok. "Hobi.. I thought you were busy. Why are you here?" He answered with a muffled groan but the goal was to get him to wake up, not respond with nonsense. So I prodded him more. "Hobi. You can't sleep on my couch. It'll hurt your back."

"Tired.." He spoke, muffled once more. 

"I get that but not here. You can have my bed if you're too tired to drive home." 

That seemed to wake him up as he rolled over to face me, his eyes opening slowly. "I don't want to sleep or go home. I came to spend time with you." 

"But you're clearly exhausted."

He sat up, shaking his head and forcing a tired smile. "No, I'm not. I just got bored waiting for you. Were you with Yoongi? Was it fun?" 

"Hobi.. Stop trying to be all energetic when you have nothing left." I sat down beside him, pouting. "I love a happy and energetic Hobi but not when he's trying to force himself to be like that. You're tired so sleep." 

He shook his head again. "Nope. You wanted to spend time with me today and I was too busy. But now I was let off early and I'm going to spend it with you." 

I gave in. I want to spend time with you.. I can't even fight with you right now. "Okay. What do you want to do?"

"Let's just watch TV." He suggested. "I don't want to move around.."

"I knew that you were tired." I smirked, getting up and grabbing a blanket before sitting back down beside him, reaching for the remote. I put the blanket over both of our bodies, allowing him to move closer so that he could be covered better, and began flipping through the channels. "What do you wanna watch?"

"Something with a lot of action. I want to keep my eyes open.." 

"You won't last long even with action." I tsked, finding a station that was luckily showing an action drama. "Close enough."

"Yeah, close enough." He relaxed into the back of the couch with a sigh. "I tried to see my mom today."

I glanced at him but his eyes were focused on the screen. "And?"

"I just wanted to see her... But she wouldn't let me in the house." 

"She's just upset.." I frowned, looking to the TV as well, not really paying attention as I talked with him. "I'm sure she misses you just as much as you miss her."

He shrugged. "Who knows? I'm always a disappointment to them, even if I succeed." 

"You're never a disappointment. You're their son. Sure, they're upset you won't go into business. But they love you regardless and will eventually support you." 

"Not all parents end up supporting their disappointments. Look at Yoongi and Taehyung."

"Hm?" 

"Yoongi never told us why his parents abandoned him and sure they're still around, but they will never support him no matter what he does. I'm sure you know that." Hoseok mumbled, his eyes drooping slightly and I knew that it was just a matter of time until he passed out again. "Taehyung... I don't even remember what happened to his family since it was so long ago when they left. But they aren't around and they aren't seeming like they'll come back." 

"But.. They're different. You know your parents love you very much.."

"Yoongi's parents loved him. Taehyung's did too. But now.." He shook his head slowly. "Not anymore." 

I bit my lip, unsure of what to say. I don't know why Taehyung's left. But I know why Yoongi's did. Your parents are cruel like Yoongi's, I know that for a fact. I just wish I could tell you. But I can't share something that isn't mine to share. 

"You don't have to say anything." He chuckled lightly. "I'm not trying to get too deep. I'm just talking." 

"Your parents will support you some day. You just have to keep working hard to show them that you're truly passionate about it." 

"Of course." He agreed easily. "I just want to be able to see them now though. That's all."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It isn't anything you can control." He looked over at me. "Will you do me a favor?"

"Hm?" I glanced back at him but he looked away, switching positions so that his head was in my lap. 

"Let me do this for a little while." He shut his eyes tightly, not wanting to look me in the eye. "Just for a little bit."

"Of course.." I smiled to myself, putting more of the blanket over him. "You don't have to ask. I use to do this for Hyejin all the time." 

"It's different between a man and a woman." He sighed, relaxing reluctantly as I ran my fingers through his hair. 

But I don't view you as a man. You're someone I love and cherish, but you're not someone who has my heart.. 

Do I wish he was? Probably. 

But there is someone out there for him that is far better than I am. 

I hope he finds her soon so that he can stop liking me. 

Taehyung, too. 

Daeyoung caused him so many issues... I just want him to be happy. And I'm upset that I have to hurt him after I tried so hard to keep him away from Daeyoung. 

I just want the both of them to move on and be happy. 

Myself, too. 

"Hana."

"Huh? I thought you fell asleep." I laughed at my own startled self. 

He opened his eyes and looked up at me. "Was Yoongi okay when you hung out with him?"

"This again? He was fine." I nodded. "Why are you so worried for him?"

"Truthfully... I saw something that worried me when I went over to his house the other day."

"Like what?" I shifted, careful not to move his head too much. 

He hesitated a while, opening his mouth to speak many times but only once was he actually able to speak. "Sharp objects.. Anything that was sharp that I saw in that room.. They all had blood on them."

My heart dropped and I remained silent, listening to his words. 

"I didn't want to assume anything because I don't see Yoongi like this.. But I went threw them all away and started observing him more and there's just something I never noticed about him that I do now.. I'm afraid that he used them to... To hurt himself. I think..." He paused, his eyes glossing over a little bit. "I think he's hurting, really bad Hana. Jungkook always worried about him because of the way he always makes jokes about death and killing himself.. But we all ignore it. Taehyung seems to watch Yoongi here and there but he doesn't seem to have a clue what's going on. Namjoon... I think he knows something. Jin too.. I think something is wrong with my hyung and I don't know how to fix it.." 

"Hobi-ah.." I combed his hair with my fingers once more and offered a smile. "Do you have any proof that he doing such things?" 

"Well.. No.. Only those objects.." 

"Then don't worry about it just yet." 

"Can you really say that?" He sighed. "What if it's all true? He needs to see someone.. Medication.. Something! He can't be left alone and trusted like this if it's true."

"But if it isn't true, won't it hurt him if you assume so?" I swallowed harshly. I wish Yoongi would talk to the boys. He may have hidden it for years but he's getting to a point where he's bad enough to not be able to hide it anymore. If the boys knew... I wouldn't have to be so worried about leaving him... 

"But what if it is. That's a huge risk... His life is at risk if he's truly like this." Hoseok sat up, watching me firmly, all traces of amusement were gone. "You can't tell me that you haven't found anything like this. Or seen how he acts sometimes. You've gotten so close to him in such a short amount of time.. There has to be something you found out that he isn't telling us... You wouldn't hide it from us either if you did, would you?"

If it was my choice to tell you all, I would've.. But should I? He's right.. Yoongi's life is at risk. He'd hate me for the rest of his life if I told the boys but.. Isn't it worth it as long as he's safe? 

"You're hesitating.." Hoseok frowned. "What is it?" 

Should I? It's his privacy... 

But it's also his life. 

What if Hobi is wrong? What if those were all old tools? What if Yoongi is actually way better than before? 

But what if he's right..? 

I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples, my face twisting with anger and frustration. I don't know what to do! 

"Never mind." Hoseok took my hands away from my head, my eyes opening to see his radiant smile. "Forget it all. I just want to be with you right now, not cause you stress."

Yoongi's life is worth so much more than a stupid secret...

Shouldn't I just say something about it? 

If it saves him in the end... Then who cares if he hates me. 

His life is more important. 

"Hobi... I want to tell you something... But I'm afraid to." 

"Tell me." He spoke eagerly as he let go of my hands. "If you want to tell me, then tell me." 

Should I? 

What is the right thing to do in this situation? 

Why is it so hard? 

If someone confessed to me the way Yoongi confessed to Hana, I'd feel both touched and angry. But with a troubled person comes a troubled confession, don't you think? ;) <3 ~PandaBiscuit~