"Oh my god, I'm so tired." I sat down on the bench outside the minbak we were using. "But that was so fun.."

The hiking continued until at least 6pm, our lunch and dinner consisting of snacks here and there along the trail. But it was really fun and I had mixed feelings about being done already. But I was so tired that I didn't care too much. 

"Same.." Jungkook smiled brightly. "We should go swimming!" 

"It's winter, Jungkook." Namjoon sighed. "Besides, we'll all tired. We'd probably drown." 

"I would." I admitted. "No swimming for me." 

"Do you guys want a proper dinner or not hungry?" Jin asked, sitting down beside me and rubbing his thighs. "I'm too old for this."

"I'm not really hungry." I answered first, looking around. "What about you guys?" 

"We're starving." Hoseok disagreed immediately. 

"Yeah, we're hungry." Taehyung whined as well. 

"Then you guys can go out for dinner. Hana and I can hang out here." Nana suggested. 

Yoongi eyed Nana but said nothing. 

"Sure, sounds good." Namjoon agreed. "Let's go guys."

"Ugh.." Jin held out his arms. "Help me up."

Namjoon grabbed his wrists and pulled him to his feet easily. "You're out of shape, not old." 

"Shut up." Jin laughed, him and Namjoon starting the walk down the beach to get the bar. The boys followed quickly after them, Yoongi trailing behind slowly.

Nana turned to me and smiled. "What do you say going to a bath house and clean up properly? I did some research and I heard there is a really good place just the other way." 

"That sounds amazing. It's been so long since I've been to a bath house." I relaxed easily. 

"Let's get going then." She stuck a hand out. "I'm declaring us friends from this point on."

I took her hand and let out a faint chuckle. "I love being friends with you already." I wonder how Hyejin is... I should call her. I feel bad for neglecting her so much. 

She chuckled as well and we began our way to the bath house. 

"So, I know bits and pieces." She began talking. "About you and Yoongi, I mean." 

"Ah." I nodded, knowing she was going to talk about it soon. "We--"

"Tell me at the bath house." She stopped me. "I want all the details! This is the first time there has ever been a woman in Yoongi's life. But even then, I'm the only one who seems to care in our family. I don't understand our family at all." 

"I don't either." I grumbled. "They're so mean."

"Not just to Yoongi." She agreed. "But most of it is at him, sadly." 

"Are they mean to you too?" 

"Nah." She shook her head. "Not like they are to him. Mean can have different definitions. They just expect a lot out of me so they try and marry me off all the time. Our family is like that annoying, clichè rich family in the dramas." 

"So are all of the boys' familys, I've come to notice." I agreed. 

"Very true." 

"I'll tell you a whole bunch about Yoongi in return for your information." She mumbled.

"Sweet.." I smirked. "I can use it against him. Were you two really close growing up then?"

"No, he hated me the majority of the time." She laughed, clearly amused with me being wrong. "I was a little devil during junior high though and when my parents kicked me out, I would stay at his house. I listened to the fights and Yoongi's upset. I just watched everything and eventually when Yoongi moved out and stayed on his own, we decided to play music together and his hatred lifted a bit." 

"So if I play music with him, he'll stop hating me?" I joked. "I'm glad he had someone that was watching him back then."

"I was watching but I never did anything. That was my mistake." 

"Everyone makes mistakes." 

--

I shed my clothes and cast a look in the mirror, looking over myself. Am I not good enough for him? Is there something wrong with how I look? I touched my stomach a little. Maybe I'm not thin enough? But I'm already pretty thin... Maybe I'm just not thin enough. I eyed my chest and sighed. Am I too small? 

I shook my head with annoyance and made my way over to the wall shower, scrubbing my skin a little before wrapping the towel around my body and leaving the locker room. Nana was already out and walking towards the steaming bath. She has such a nice figure.. I'm jealous. Maybe if my body looked more like hers.. He'd want to be interested in me. 

"Hana! You're out." She smiled brightly when she heard me approaching. "You look good!" 

"Thanks.." I bit my lip. Can't I look like you? "You look great as well!" 

She stepped into the bath slowly, only knee deep. "Perfect temperature..." She shed the towel and folded it, resting it on the dry ground beside the tub before stepping completely inside, sitting down on the bench in the water against the wall. "Coming in?"

I nodded, hesitantly. I feel so inferior to her... "There is like no one here.." I remarked as I shed the towel, folded it and set beside hers, and then stepped in as well, sitting beside her. 

"This feels really good after a good hike." Nana sighed, closing her eyes as the steam rolled off of our bodies. "So.. Tell me about Yoongi." 

"It really is just a short story." I mumbled. But, regardless, I explained what had gone on between us and told her my feelings about it. 

"I see.." She nodded, her eyes still closed and her body releaxed. "It sounds like Yoongi is just being a coward. All he knows when it comes to relationships are the ones around him. His parents relationship together, which isn't very good, Taehyung's relationship with Dae Young. Even my parents weren't great. All the boys' failed attempts at dating. This is all he knows since he's never engaged in this sort of thing. Yes, he's liked people before and talked to girls, but he never went anything past casual friendship because he didn't feel the need to. At least this is what I know." 

"Ah.. Makes sense."

"And now, this isn't a very good set up either. You two basically have a time limit to figure out if you want to be serious. 3 months isn't nearly long enough to see if you truly want to spend time with someone. I honestly just think he's scared. He knows you have to leave, he fears you won't come back, he fears what will happen if you two don't work out, and he truly cares about how the boys think of him. That's why he got so angry last night when he was assumed incorrectly. He doesn't seem like the person, but he likes to keep the same image around everyone. But he can't when he's fallen in love with a woman, especially when that woman is already liked by two of his closest friends." 

"So.. You're saying that.."

"That Yoongi doesn't feel the right to love you and be with you since his friends love you as well. But even thinking that, there is of course other issues which you have discovered. So.. I suggest that you take each hurtle one at a time if you truly like him." 

"I don't have the time other wise I really would.." I dropped my head. 

"That cursed Taehyung.." She tsked. "I bet he regrets it now." 

"I regret it. I didn't mind it in the beginning. I didn't even want to fall in love." 

"No one ever does. It just happens. You can't help it." 

"Do you think.. He'll still like me after a year?" I turned my head to look at her. 

"I don't know. Maybe." She sighed. "Love is strange. A year with no contact is pushing it.. Love isn't as beautiful as the dramas make it out to be. You know, the ones where they wait for years and years for their love to come back and it's like nothing happened. Yeah, it doesn't always work like that." 

"I figured. I know I'll regret it if I don't do anything but at the same time, I'm already tired of trying."

"Honey, it's only day one where you decided to pursue him. If you're tired now, don't go for him at all. Yoongi isn't someone you can just approach, take to coffee once or twice, take on a date, and then call him yours. He's much more difficult than that. Along with his difficult personality, add on his illness on top of that and his insecurities and his family issues. If you're tired now, don't start something you can't finish." 

I frowned, glancing at the bath water. "You're right. Yoongi isn't someone whom I can be unsure of with. I have to know what I want and that I want it for sure before trying to get it." 

"Yup, that's how Yoongi works." She nodded slowly. 

I don't have the time to earn Yoongi's affection.. And there is no way he'll still have feelings for me after a year. 

I gave a pout of defeat and closed my eyes as well. I'm not attractive enough for him to even want to wait for me. 

"Are you going to give up?" 

"Probably." I sighed. "Can you tell me some things about Yoongi?" 

"Well, I see no sense in it if you're giving up." She sighed as well. 

"I guess that's true as well.." 

"I'm going to go take a phone call and then hop in the sauna." She announced, my eyes opening as she was getting out and putting the towel around her body. "Would you like to come sit with me in there?" 

"I'll stay here a little bit longer then join you." I smiled up at her. 

She nodded and left towards the locker rooms, leaving me utterly alone in the bathhouse with only the sounds of the water dribbling out of a few fountains. 

She sounded disappointed.. But what all can I do? I don't want to start something I can't finish.. I'll end up hurting him. 

I sat there a while, closing my eyes to relax more. Somewhere along the line, I had even cried a little. But I wasn't sad. I'm almost certain it was all the bottled up emotions I had leaking out while I relaxed. Afterall, not everyone can keep emotions at bay for too long. 

I glanced around before hopping out of the bath and wrapping the towel around my body as the air chilled my skin. I should find Nana. 

I went over to the sauna just as she was exiting. "Ah, sorry, I was in there a bit longer."

"No, you're fine." She smiled cutely. "I went over to see if you'd like to join me after my phone call but you looked so relaxed that I just let you be." 

"Thanks. It was very relaxing." 

"Let's go rinse off and get back to the minbak. The boys will be worried since they should be back by now." 

I nodded. "Thanks for bringing me here. Like I said, it was all very relaxing."

"I'm glad." She opened the locker room door for me and we both stepped inside. "I have faith in you, by the way."

"Hm?"

"About Yoongi." She winked. "You won't give up." 

"Ah.. If you say so." 

I hope she's right. But at the same time.. I don't know. 

--

"Nana, Hana, where were you guys at?" Namjoon asked, shocked, as we both walked in unfamiliar clothes. 

We had bought them at the bathhouse since we forgot to bring a change of clothing. They were actually pretty comfortable. 

"I took Hana to the bathhouse." Nana answered easily, entering the minbak and going into the bathroom to brush her teeth. 

I nodded at him. "It was very relaxing after hiking all day." 

He smiled a little. "I'm glad. You need it."

I glanced around. Jimin and Hoseok were playing cards with each other, and by the looks of it, Hoseok was losing. Jungkook and Taehyung were in the corner where their make shift beds were and playing on their phones. Jin was in the kitchen reading about something that I couldn't see from here. And then Yoongi was sprawled out over 3 different make shift beds, completely out senseless. 

I smiled a little as well and looked to the boys. "They break up into pairs like this?"

"All the time." Namjoon nodded as well. "Jin and I usually hang out a lot, Jungkook and Taehyung, Jimin and Hoseok, and then Yoongi is just with himself." 

"Ah." He wouldn't have to be alone if he just accepted me. 

Namjoon gave me another look and then went into the kitchen as well, browsing his phone. I guess I'll just sleep. Sleeping sounds great right now. 

"Hey, Hobi." I called. 

Hoseok looked up from his game and smiled. "Oh, welcome back!"

"Mind helping me for a small second?" 

Hoseok nodded and stood up, stretching as he came over to me. "What's up?" 

"I need to change into my pajamas but Nana is in the bathroom. Can you hold a blanket up in the corner so I can get changed?" 

Hoseok nodded again. "Sure." He picked the blanket off of my bed and waited for me to get my pajamas before walking over to the corner with me. He stretched the blanket out and blocked any views, glancing down at his feet so that I knew he wasn't peeking over the blanket or anything. "You're all set." 

"Thanks so much." I flushed a bit, shedding my clothes quickly and then pulling my pajamas on over my body. "So much better..." 

"Do you want to watch a movie?" He put the blanket back on my bed. 

"What about Jimin?" 

"Jimin-ah, Namjoon will play cards with you, I'm going to watch a movie with Hana."

Jimin threw up an okay sign, packed up the cards, and went into the kitchen. "Well that was easy." I nodded. "Let's do it."

"Let me grab my phone and my headphones." Hoseok scurried away to find his things in the giant bag the boys all shared. 

I sat down on the bed, Hoseok sitting down beside me with his phone and his headphones. 

"What do you wanna watch? I have a lot of movies on here." He smiled, plugging his headphones into the jack and then putting in one of the earbuds for me. 

"Pick a funny one. I don't want anything with a romantic plot line." 

"What about an action-comedy?"

"That works." 

He plugged an earbud into his ear and loaded up a movie. I put the blanket over our legs as he moved the pillows around so we could rest easily with our backs against the pillows that kept us from hitting the headboard. I moved closer to him and relaxed easily, my eyes focused on the tiny screen. 

The movie was interesting and it had a few romantic run-ins here and there but most movies had that. I was just happy it wasn't the entire plot because I honestly wanted nothing to do with romance. Not now. 

We finished the first movie and watched a second, my head now completely resting on his shoulder as I was tired of holding it up. He was tired of it as well since he leaned his head against mine and watched. 

It was comfortable and I enjoyed it, especially since the boys and Nana didn't seem to care any. They only seemed to care when I was with Taehyung or Yoongi, Yoongi especially. But for some reason, not Hoseok. Maybe because they trusted Hoseok more. 

But halfway through the second movie, we both passed out, the phone falling into our laps as we dozed in each other's embrace. 

I ended up waking up halfway through the night though. All the lights were off and everyone was sleeping. I don't know where Nana was since Hoseok and I were still sleeping in the bed. 

I glanced around, listening to Hoseok's steady breathing to make sure he was sleeping heavily enough before I moved my body away from his. I carefully moved him so that he was laying completely down instead of in a sitting position and then pulled the covers over him before sneaking out of bed. 

But even though I tip toed and was as quiet as possible, someone had stirred. But I ignored it and put on Hoseok's jacket as it was the only one I could find in the dark, slipping outside easily. 

I sat down on the porch step and set my chin down into my palms, staring out at the water. I wonder what it would be like to live here all the time. It's a change for sure.. 

Where should I go after the contract? I could just disappear, like Hobi talked about. No.. I won't just think about disappearing.. I will. I want to and I need to. There would be no way I could stay away from the boys and honor the contract. 

We broke every rule of this contract.. But the one we decide to keep and not break, just happens to be the most difficult one. 

Should I go to America? Ireland? I've always wanted to go to Ireland... Or maybe I could go back to England? No. If by some rare chance Jin goes there again, then that would really . I want to go somewhere no one would expect me to go. 

Maybe Japan?  

I don't know. I'll have to study up on many locations.. 

Maybe I should talk to Hyun Ki. I have so much I want to talk about to him now.. And allow him to scold me and brag that he was right that this all would happen.. But I need his advice. Since he was right about this, he's going to have all the answers I want... I hope. 

If he doesn't, then I'm pretty stuck. 

I let out a sigh, rubbing my temples a bit as the door opened slowly. I turned and knew just by a single glance that I had somehow woken up Yoongi. The hardest person to wake up turned into the easiest person to wake up, I guess. I wonder how I managed that.

"How'd I wake you up?" I asked lazily, turning back around to watch the water again. 

"I coincidentally woke up when you did." He sighed, sitting beside me with distance in between us. "Why are you outside? It's cold." 

"Because I want to be." I mumbled, tugging on Hoseok's jacket a little. "I don't want to leave. I kind of like it here." 

He didn't answer. 

"Do you?"

"Not really."

"Oh." 

"What are you going to do when the contract ends? Are you going to take my job offer?" He looked at me but I didn't look at him. I'm going to beat you at your own game this time around. But I don't think I'm proud of it. 

"No." I shook my head, tucking my hands under my knees. 

"What are you going to do then? You'll be jobless."

"With the amount of pay I get from you, I can survive a bit longer without a job. As long as I save it." Or spend it all to get off the grid. 

"Fair enough. You should still accept the job though so you're stable."

"I don't want anything from you anymore." I sighed, trying to stay strong. 

He stopped talking and looked at the water as well. 

"Where would you go if you could go anywhere?" I asked after a while of uncomfortable silence. "Not worrying about money, or people, or a job. Just, where would you go?" 

"Canada." 

"Why Canada?" 

"Why anywhere? I like the name." 

"Fair enough." Canada does sound like a cool place.. But if I disappear there, will he remember this conversation and assume I went there? No. He'll forget this. He won't care. "Have I helped you any.. With your tasks?" 

"Some, I guess." He nodded. "I don't think you'll ever succeed."

"Your last task deals with suicide, Yoongi." I looked at him sternly, his gaze meeting mine as he slowly turned to look at me as well. "I sure as hell don't want to fail." 

His face remained emotionless for a while before he looked away, letting out another sigh. "Well, you're failing lately." 

I bit my lip. He's acting like it's some stupid game. Suicide isn't a game. How do I help you? Lately, we've only grown further from each other. You locked down your mind and your heart from me just as you were opening. I can't try to keep you alive if I can't even tell you want to die! 

We sat for another long while, our sleepy eyes trained on the water with no intention of going to sleep. Whether we liked it or not, we were drawn to each other and we were just waiting for the other person to make the first move. But neither of us wanted to. We liked the company even if we didn't admit or even say anything at all to each other. 

"Yoongi, what do you think death has to offer than life can't give?"

"A break." 

"A break from what?" 

He took a ragged breath. "A break from people, torment, memories, pain, myself, just everything." 

"But the break you want.. Is a break that will never end. Once you take this break, you can never resume again. That's what you want?" 

"I just want the pain to stop." He admitted. "I don't care if nothing resumes ever again. I'm just exhausted. I've been fighting myself for so many years, alone. I'm exhausted." 

"What if I tell you that it won't stop?" 

"How won't it? It's forever, painless.. Of course it will stop." 

"I'm talking about the people you left behind, Yoongi. Not just myself either.. But all of the boys.. Nana. Your family even. Sure they don't support you now but once you're gone forever, they'll realize what all they've done wrong to you. You'll stop your suffering but it'll continue with countless more people."

"So you're telling me to suffer for the rest of my life to save others my pain?" 

"No. I'm telling you that there are other ways to lift your pain." I stood up. "Talking is one of them. Just now, you felt a lot better, didn't you? Because you weren't thinking about the moment present, but how you felt before." 

He nodded a little. "You're right."

"This is what I've been telling you from the beginning. Talk about how you feel. It relieves so much from your body." 

He looked up at me. "Why are you such a hypocrite?" 

"Excuse me?" 

He stood up as well and smirked at me. "You're telling me to talk to relieve myself of pain but you're standing in front of me with countless emotions pulsating throughout your body with no intention of speaking of any of them. How can I believe a liar?" 

"Because these emotions deal with you. All of them. Hatred, passion, remorse, love, frustration, sadness, all of them. They all deal with you. I can't talk to you about them, I already learned that it wasn't ideal to do that with you." 

He stared at me, shocked. 

"I talk about my feelings with everyone but you. I'm not burdening you with my feelings because I want you to focus on getting better and relieving yourself. I burden others so you can be free of mine." I smirked a little. "Besides, aren't we supposed to be pretending nothing happened?"

"I didn't say anything did. I simply just called you a liar." His shocked expression went away and grew into a taunting one. "Are you telling me something happened between us?" 

I hate you so much. How can I love someone I hate so much? 

Neither of us had nothing to say so we just stood there, his expression taunting me while mine displayed clear anger. We didn't know what to do besides just silently mock each other. 

How can we go from sentimental speaking to wanting to kill each other in less than 5 minutes? I don't understand.. I want us to just go back to how we were before we fought outside the karaoke bar. But you can't rewind time so I guess this is how we are now. 

Yoongi finally broke the moment and slipped inside, leaving me alone as the anger melted off of me and trickled away in the breeze drifting from the waterfront. 

Is this what love is? Fighting until we both give up? To think I was excited for love when I was younger. 

I sat back down on the step and put my forehead to my knees. I thought I would cry but I never did. Instead, I just stayed like that for a good long while until the chilly air seeped through my thin clothing. 

I should go back inside. We leave tomorrow so I need to sleep so that I don't look like a mess when I get home.

I got up and slipped inside as well. Yoongi was back in bed and looked as if he was sleeping. Hoseok was sprawled over my bed completely, making it impossible to try and get back in bed. 

I spotted a spot in between Taehyung and Jungkook and decided to take it, shedding Hoseok's jacket back where I found it. I covered myself up in Jungkook's blankets and smiled a little.

I need to stop thinking about how I'll be after the contract. The boys are all in front of me right now and that's all that should matter for the remainder of the time we have left. 

I know I'll come back to them. If not for Yoongi, for the rest. 

I love them all individually. A love meant for friendship. 

I wouldn't take back the time we shared for anything. 

Not even the bad times. 

--

"Why is Hana sleeping with Taehyung?" Namjoon whispered. "Wasn't she asleep with Hobi last time?" 

"Why was she asleep with any of the boys?" Jin remarked. 

"She fell asleep watching a movie with Hobi, that was a mistake." Nana sighed. "Leave her be guys."

"She got up to use the restroom last night, I think." Jimin stated. "I remember hearing footsteps but I don't know anything else. Maybe when she got up, Hobi didn't let her back into bed. You all know he loves to sprawl out."

"True.." Hoseok chuckled. "Should we wake the 4 of them?" 

"Wake Jungkook and Yoongi first." Jin mumbled. 

"I'm not waking Yoongi!" Hoseok panicked, tripping over my foot when he tried to get to Jungkook. I winced, opening my eyes to the bright sunlight pouring in through the windows again. "Oh.. Sorry. I guess we woke Hana." 

"She was the one we wanted to stay asleep, idiot." Namjoon smacked Hoseok in the back of the head and smiled. "Goodmorning, Hana." 

I flushed and pulled away from Taehyung's embrace, watching him roll over with an annoyed whine. 

Hoseok rubbed his head and woke Jungkook easily. "How'd you end up over there?" Hoseok asked me. 

"I got up like Jimin said and you took up the whole bed." I yawned, stretching as I stood. 

"You were awake?"

"I woke up to Namjoon." I admitted. 

Namjoon chuckled. "Fair enough."

"You hit me for no reason.." Hoseok sulked, kicking Taehyung's feet. "Wake up."

"I'm up.." He groaned but never moving. 

"No you're not." Namjoon kicked at his feet too until he finally sat up, his eyes barely able to open and his hair sticking everywhere. 

Cute.

"Who's going to wake up Yoongi?" Jimin asked, calmly. 

"Whoever wants to die first.." Jin bolted from the minbak with Hoseok, Jimin, and Nana at his feet. 

"Guys!" Namjoon yowled but they didn't return. 

Jungkook caught on to what was happening and snuck out as well, dragging Taehyung with him.

"And then there was two." Namjoon smiled at me. "You want to do it?" 

"Uhm.. Not inparticular." I shook my head a little. 

"We can stand from a distance and throw something at him, then if he wakes up, we can die together since we both did the deed." 

"Deal. But make it light enough so that it won't hurt him but heavy enough so that he'll wake.." I mentioned, glancing around. "We can throw my backpack at him. It only has clothes in it right now." 

"Okay." Namjoon grabbed it, the two of us backing up against the wall. 

I clung onto Namjoon's arm as he prepared to throw it with his other arm. "What if he kills us for real?" I whispered but he had already tossed the backpack. 

But before it could hit Yoongi, he reached up and smacked it out of the air, opening his eyes to glare at us. 

"Yikes!" Namjoon panicked and bolted from the room. 

Yoongi sat up and glared at me still but I did exactly what Namjoon did and bolted, the 7 of us huddled outside the minbak in our pajamas, hoping that Yoongi wouldn't kill us. 

"What happened?" 

"He was already awake so when we tried to throw something at him, he hit it out of the air." Namjoon responded easily. "We're so dead."

"Dead is an understatement." I grumbled. "He'll kill us mentally before he physically kills us."

"Him and his stupid mind games.." Taehyung grumbled as well. 

"Is he a monster?" Jin countered. "You guys are overreac--"

"Says the one that bolted out of there." Namjoon countered as well. 

"Wel--"

"Exactly." Taehyung stuck his tongue out. "Let's go in there and change.. People are looking at us funny." 

"We'll eat breakfast and then be on our way. Hobi has some things to do later." Namjoon announced. 

I nodded, looking to Hoseok. "With the band?"

"Yeah. We have another round." He nodded as well, accompanying me inside. 

"Good luck." I smiled, grabbing my bag from where it landed and scurrying over to my bed to change. Where'd Yoongi go? 

I shook my head, forcing myself not to care, and bolted into the bathroom before anyone else could. But to my horrible luck, Yoongi was in the bathroom, staring at me with shock. The only lucky part was that he was just standing there and not actually doing anything.

"Why don't you lock the door?" I gasped. 

"Why don't you knock?" He laughed, mockingly. "You're lucky I wasn't doing anything!" 

"Then why are you in the bathroom?" 

"To wash my face?" He pointed to his damp face before grabbing a hand towel and drying it. 

"Sorry.." I sighed. "Can I use the bathroom to get changed?" 

"Sure, go right ahead." Yoongi grumbled, leaving the bathroom. "Lock the door." 

I did as he told. Of course he would be in here, where else would he go? Idiot. 

I washed my face and changed clothes quickly, staring at my face in the mirror a little longer. 

Should I start wearing make up? I should probably take care of my skin more. 

Maybe I should eat less and work out more.. 

Why do I keep thinking these things? 

I wasn't really a self-conscious person but for some reason, I am around Yoongi.. 

I need to change for him and maybe he would wait for me.. 

I doubt it. 

Who would? 

Well results for my audition came out and it turns out that I didn't get the position.. But you know, I'm actually okay with it. I was very disappointed at first but I thought about it really hard and realized that it would've been a very stressful position and I would basically be torturing myself all season long. So, in a way, I'm okay with not getting it. I can always try next time as well. 

But anyways, thanks for reading and commenting! I really love the support! <3 ~PandaBiscuit~