Please, don’t let it be true.

You impatiently waited for Gikwang in front of the small stand from where you had bought food on your first date. Was he coming or what? It wasn’t like him to be late. What if something had happened? You jumped a little on the spot as the worry grew inside you. As soon as you saw his figure from a distance you went to meet him. Without even greeting him you poked his chest with one finger.

“Why are you late?”

“I’m sorry, I just left Yoseob for a check-up at the hospital,” Gikwang said a little surprised from your fierce tone. You glared at him.

“Are you sure that it was Yoseob who had to go on a check-up?” Your tone went from stern to pleading.

“What are you…?” Gikwang looked very confused. You interrupted him.

“I want to visit him!” you blurted. Gikwang jumped a little startled from your sudden mood swings.

“O-okay…”

It wasn’t far to the hospital from where you were so you walked here. The walk of silence. None of you said a word before Gikwang stopped in front of a door.

“He’s in here,” he said with a weird smile. You looked at him.

“So, you’re not sick? You don’t have leukemia?” you asked your voice almost cracking with tears.

“What? No, I’m as healthy as a horse.”

 “Are you sure that you’re not sick,” you whispered.

“Yes, I’m sure. Haven’t I told you already that it’s Yoseob who’s sick?” Gikwang looked even more confused than before.

“You did, I’m sorry.” You didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Of course you were happy Gikwang wasn’t sick, but what would Taeyeon say when she found out the truth? You weren’t sure how much more your sister could take. You s your arms around Gikwang’s waist and held him close to you. He your back.

“~~~~~-ah, what’s the matter?” he asked gently.

“I think I have to talk to Yoseob,” you said quietly into his chest.

“They’re in the middle of a check-up…”

“Then I’ll wait. I can study during the wait.” You let go of Gikwang and walked to sit down at a nearby table. “I don’t have to be at work until late tonight, I’ve got some time.”

“I’ll stay with you,” Gikwang said. You smiled at him.

“I’m sorry if I was acting strange,” you apologized.

“That’s okay. I guess it’s natural for you to get a bit suspicious when I’m spending so much time here at the hospital,” Gikwang said as he sat down beside you. You wrinkled your forehead.

“It’s not that, it was just something Taeyeon said to me last night.”

“Really? What did she say?”

“I’m not sure I understood a hundred percent what she said, that’s why I have to clear things out with Yoseob.”

“I’ll come with you,” Gikwang said as he opened your book. “Now study.” You glanced at him. Maybe you should ask one more time, just to make sure…

“And you’re completely sure that you’re not sick?” you asked carefully. Gikwang sighed and smiled at you.

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

The door to the examination room opened up and two nurses walked out of the room. Gikwang stood up.

“Annyeong. Is Yoseob ready?” he asked politely. The nurses said that you could go in, so you did. Yoseob was sitting cross legged on the bed fiddling with a plaster in the crook of his arm. He looked up when he heard your footsteps.

“~~~~~ noona, it’s so nice to see you!” he exclaimed with a bright smile. “Oh, hyung, you’re back? Aww, I didn’t know you were so worried about me.” He laughed and waved you towards him. “Sit, sit,” he urged you eagerly. You sat down on the edge of the bed.

“Yoseob…”

“Noona, you can’t sit like that it’s awfully uncomfortable,” Yoseob said with a frown. “Do like me.” He pointed to his crossed legs.

“Um, okay…” You took of your shoes, turned to face him and imitated his position.

“Much better, neh?” Yoseob beamed at you.

“Yes…” You caught yourself smiling back at him. “It doesn’t matter how I sit, I’m here in a very important matter and I just want to talk to you.”

“Talk? I like talking.” Yoseob clapped his hands in enthusiasm. “Let’s hear it.”

You stood up, walked over to the window and back again. Yoseob lay down on his stomach supporting his head with his hands.

“Why did you tell Taeyeon that Gikwang is the one who’s sick?” you asked.

“Oh, that…” Yoseob’s smile faltered a little.

“Yes, that.” You sat back on the edge of the bed while Yoseob rolled over to his back. Why?”

“I said Gikwang was sick and I wasn’t because… I didn’t want her to be with me out of pity. For once I just wanted not to be ‘Sick Yoseob’. Just Yoseob.” He smiled at the ceiling. “I’ve been able to be with Taeyeon without getting sympathy looks. To her I’m Just Yoseob.” You had no idea what to say. You recognized the feeling. That was the reason you never told anyone how you felt, that you were hungry or tired or that you felt like just lying down and give up. You couldn’t stand being pitied. But still, you were the only one who suffered from holding it in.

“You have to tell her,” you said. Yoseob looked up at you.

“Do I have to?”

“If you don’t, I will,” you said. He sighed.

“She’s going to be so mad,” he whined.

“I will tell her if you don’t,” you assured him. “Remember what happened last time you hid something.”

“I will tell her, I will.” He sat up and pouted at you. “Actually, I’ve been trying to come up with a way to tell her. Lying makes me feel so bad.”

“How did you come up with the idea to lie to her to begin with?” you asked annoyed.

“When she asked me why I was spending so much time here at the hospital I didn’t want her to treat me different from before, so before I knew the stupid word vomit had already plopped out of my mouth.” He shook his head like he couldn’t believe how stupid he was. “Now I don’t want things to change because, I’m in love with her.”

“I’m sorry, what?” All your annoyance flew out the window. Your mind went blank and your mouth fell open. Yoseob laughed at you and leaned back onto the pillows. He looked at you with a smile and twinkling eyes.

“Sorry, I phrased myself bad. What I meant to say was: I love her.”