Xiumin was an idiot. A stupid, ing idiot. He didn't know why he had gotten so angry. He didn't care. All he knew was that he had hurt Luhan. Luhan's expression haunted his mind, his eyes had been filled with so much hurt and his expression shocked. Xiumin hadn't really meant it. Of course he hadn't. But in that moment, he had gotten fed up. He had been tired, exhausted in fact, from the schedule. So he had gone out, just for a couple of hours, too sleepy to remember to tell Luhan where he was going. He hadn't meant to shout or say any of those things. But he had. And now Luhan wouldn't even look at him. 

It had been 22 hours, (22 hours!) since they had spoken. They had never gone two hours without talking, let alone 10 hours. Xiumin wanted to apologize and he had tried to but Luhan had ignored him everytime, turning instead, to talk to Sehun. Xiumin had felt hurt, a bit jealous as well. Yet he had tried again and again, but Luhan just wouldn't listen. 

It was now the next day. Xiumin got ready quickly before heading downstairs for breakfast. Almost everyone was seated, except for Luhan and Sehun. Xiumin gritted his teeth, of course, the two of them would be together. He sat down next to Kris and nibbled at his toast. The table was silent. "Have you made up yet?" Kris asked finally. Xiumin feinted nonchalance. "What are you talking about?" He asked casually. "What do you think? You and Luhan!" Chen exclaimed. Well, so much for that plan. Xiumin bit his lip before sighing. "He just- he won't even look at me! I've tried apologizing so many times but he won't even look at me!" Xiumin let out, frustration in his voice. 

D.O. sighed. "Well, you guys better make up soon. It's so weird not seeing you two constantly next to each other." He said sadly. Xiumin rolled his eyes. "It's not my fault if he won't listen to me!" He pouted, immediately feeling childish. Kai looked at him. "Hyung, you know what Luhan would do, right?" The boy asked, his voice serious. Xiumin tilted his head in confusion. "What are you talking about?" He asked. 

"He would never give up. He would keep on trying until you noticed him. If you care for him, you would do the same." Kai said sincerely. Xiumin paused, it was true. Luhan would do that. He wouldn't give up. Suddenly, Xiumin felt guilty. He wasn't a very good friend at all, it seemed. Kai seemed to take his silence in a different way however. "You do care for him, right?" Kai asked hesitantly. "Of course." Xiumin said immediately. Of course he did. They were best friends. Kai nodded before leaning back, a satisfied and smug smirk on his face. "Then do something." He finished, folding his arms. D.O. and Baekyun both simultaneously smacked the boy's head. "Stop acting cool." They both chorused before high-fiving each other. Kai whined.

Xiumin's thoughts were occupied with thoughts of Luhan, however. He couldn't help but think about how much Luhan cared for Xiumin all the time. After all, the reason why Luhan had even gotten upset was because he had been worried. And Xiumin had yelled at him for being clingy. Xiumin winced. He was a horrible friend. How could Luhan stand him? He would have to be nicer to the boy. Kai was right. Luhan would have done anything to apologize to Xiumin, if he had made a mistake. Xiumin should do the same. In fact, he would do the same. But how? How could he get Luhan's attention? He was so occupied in these thoughts that he didn't even notice Sehun and Luhan come to the table. "Good morning!" He heard Tao chirp. Sehun sat down next to Tao, and Luhan next to Sehun. Xiumin looked at Luhan but the boy didn't even glance in his direction. 

"Good morning!" Xiumin said cheerfully, aiming at Luhan. "Oh, good morning hyung!" Sehun said, completely oblivious to the situation. Chen dramatically smacked his head into his hands. "Idiot." He mumbled at Sehun. But Xiumin wasn't done yet. "Hey, did you guys catch the game with Manchester United yesterday?" Xiumin asked, staring straight at Luhan. He saw the boy pause for about half a second before continuing eating his toast. "Hmm, no, I didn't. Did you, Luhan hyung?" Baekhyun asked pointedly. Xiumin smiled gratefully at the boy before turning to look at Luhan. Luhan paused eating, shrugged and continued eating. 

Dammit. This wasn't going as planned. What would Luhan respond to-That's it! Xiumin stood up, smacking his hands on the table. Everyone looked at him in surprise. Even Luhan had turned, shock on the boy's face. "Luhan. Can you come with me for a cup of coffee?" Xiumin asked, leaning forward so that he was only inches away from the boy. Luhan loved coffee, he would agree to this, right? "No." Luhan replied looking at his toast, his cheeks red but his voice firm and unbelievably cold. The rejection sent Xiumin's heart beating at a fast rate. He gulped. He hadn't expected that rejection. But, hey! Luhan had spoken to him! Score! He would have to keep trying. "How about a football match?" He tried. Luhan shook his head. "Walk?" Another shake. "Bubble tea?" Shake. "Video games?" Shake. "Uhh, cleaning?" Luhan ignored him that time, turning his head away.

Xiumin sighed, sitting back on his chair. He would need a different approach. He looked at his toast. Ugh, it had gotten all soggy from the butter. Now he couldn't even eat it. This was not going well. 

"Ya, Jongdae, can I have some of your toast?" Xiumin asked Chen, feeling hungry. Chen stared at him. "How about yours, hyung?" He asked. "It's soggy." Xiumin said. Chen sighed. "I don't get what the problem is. Just go make more." He said. Xiumin scoffed. "Fine. Let's see if I help sort your socks next time." Xiumin said annoyed, getting up. "It's okay, hyung. I'll get you some." D.O. said getting up. "No, no! It's okay, Kyungsoo! You eat! I can do it." Xiumin said frantically before adding a "Thanks for the offer though. There's a reason why you're my favourite." D.O. laughed. "Thanks hyung." He replied. 

Xiumin went into the kitchen. "Okay, toast. Toast." He said looking around. He opened the fridge and found the bread. "Ah ha!" He said happily, putting them in the toaster. He fumbled around before realizing he had no idea how to turn it on. . Xiumin walked out of the kitchen, his head low in shame. "Uh, Kyungsoo." He said softly. Kyungsoo turned to look at him. "Yeah?" 

"How do you turn on the toaster?" Xiumin asked sheepishly, scratching his head. "What is wrong with this-Aish." Sehun said dramatically. Chen, Baekhyun and Chanyeol were laughing their heads off. The only one who didn't seem amused by this was Luhan, who was holding his head in hands, looking like he was either under extreme stress or sleeping. Hmm. Xiumin was about to talk to the boy when D.O. got up, dragging Xiumin to the kitchen and Xiumin became occupied with learning how to use a toaster. 

~

They were now in the training room and were taking a break from their dancing. Xiumin used this break as another opportunity to go talk to Luhan. "Hey Lu-ge." He said cheerfully, sitting next to the boy. Luhan still had his head in his hands and ignored him. "So, I was wondering, do you want to-" Xiumin began but was interrupted by Luhan's groan. "Stop." He heard. Xiumin shut his mouth. "Luhan." He tried again. All he got was another groan. Xiumin examined the boy. He didn't look so good. His body was all hunched and his head was in his hands.

Xiumin rested his hand on Luhan's shoulder unconsciously. "Hey, are you okay?" He asked softly. "Ahhh." He heard Luhan's soft and pained reply. Now Xiumin was worried. "Luhan, what's wrong?" He asked anxiously. "My head. It hurts." Luhan spoke in a pained voice. "What? Why- show me!" Xiumin said. Luhan lifted his head up, his skin was paler than normal, his eyes tired. Xiumin lifted his hand to Luhan's forehead. It was hot. "I think you have a fever." Xiumin said concern filling his voice. "Come on. You should go back and rest." Xiumin said standing up before extending a hand towards Luhan. 

Luhan looked and grabbed Xiumin's hand, getting up. Luhan stumbled into Xiumin, his head resting on Xiumin's shoulder. "Minseok-ah." Luhan mumbled. Xiumin suddenly felt all of Luhan's weight on his body. What-Luhan had fainted. "Oh !" Xiumin cursed out loud. 

~

Luhan was on Xiumin's back. Even though the strong maknaes, Sehun and Tao had said they would carry Luhan, Xiumin had refused them. He would carry Luhan. He couldn't pick up the taller boy bridal style so he had to settle for piggy back style. Luhan's head was on Xiumin's shoulder and the boy's breath against Xiumin's neck sent tingles down Xiumin's back. 

They finally reached the dorm with some difficulties. Xiumin immediately walked up the stairs to his room. "That's not Luhan hyung's room." Chanyeol said dumbly. Xiumin nodded. "He should stay in my room." Xiumin said immediately. "Our." Chanyeol reminded. "The doctor's coming." A worried Lay appeared. Xiumin nodded before placing Luhan down on the bed. The boy stirred a bit before sighing and sleeping again. Xiumin checked his temperature again. It was still high. Xiumin bit his lip in worry. 

~

"He just needs some rest, it's a fever from overworking. Nothing serious." The doctor had said before leaving. The managers had decided that all of the EXO members could have a break, worried that they might get sick before the concert, which was the next day and everyone was celebrating. Everyone, that is, but Xiumin. For the last three hours, Xiumin had sat next to the bed in which Luhan was sleeping, concern and worry filling his heart. 

He felt even more guilty. He should have known that Luhan was sick. He sighed. Next to Xiumin was a bucket of cool water with a handful of cloths. Xiumin was gently placing them on Luhan's face, keeping the boy cool. He stared at the boy's sleeping figure. Luhan was so pretty, he thought, for what felt seemed like the millionth time. No wonder he had so many fangirls, with such nice white cheeks. Not chubby like Xiumin's but pretty and defined. So smooth looking in fact that Xiumin couldn't help but extend his hand, intending to touch the pretty cheek. They had been so smooth and soft when Xiumin had kissed the boy. 

Were they still soft? Xiumin was curious. He cautiously touched the boy's cheek lightly. It was still smooth. He moved his hand so that he was cupping the boy's cheek. Suddenly, Xiumin stared at the boy's lips. They were so pink, how could it be. With his thumb, Xiumin traced the outline of the faint scar just under the boy's bottom lip, remembering Luhan telling him the dramatic story of how he had gotten hurt. He smiled. Luhan's lips were still perfect, despite the scar. 

Xiumin leaned in closer to the boy, until they were only apart by and inch. He was lost in the moment, seeing nothing but those pink, soft-looking lips. He leaned in even closer, his lips almost touching the other boy's lips when a knock startled him. Xiumin jumped back, his face flushing as he realized what he had been about to do. Oh my god. What the was wrong with him? Oh god. What was he going to do? He stared at the pretty boy who was sleeping, oh god. No, no way. Xiumin couldn't possibly, he couldn't possibly, no way. 

No way. 

Xiumin couldn't possibly like Luhan. 

~~~

I wrote this while listening to dont go by exo m at 0.5 speed 

lol 

what is wrong with me man

anyway. 

thanks for subs and comments! makes my day!