Xiumin went up the stairs leading to the dance studio with deliberate slowness. He felt nervous, though he wasn’t quite sure why. Okay, he did. It just wasn’t something he wanted to think about.

After finding out that all the members had known about the hate letter, Xiumin couldn’t help but feel self-conscious. He didn’t want to look weak or pitiful in front of s, whom he considered his family. He even felt a bit ashamed of the letter, he had to admit. Receiving such a negative letter made Xiumin wonder whether he had done something wrong to upset someone and that made him feel guilty.

The letter had made him wonder whether people viewed him in the way in which the ‘fan’ had viewed him. It made him wonder whether everyone around him thought that he was fat but were just too polite to say so.

More importantly though, it made him wonder if Luhan thought he was fat. Luhan had called Xiumin Baozi ever since their debut saying that they reminded him of Xiumin’s cheeks. He knew his cheeks were chubby but was it possible that Luhan thought they were disgusting, like the girl had?

Xiumin immediately shook his head. No, Luhan would never think that. They were best friends. He would never think of Xiumin as disgusting….right?

Uncertainty weighed on his mind as he reached the top of the staircase. Panting slightly, he opened the wooden door leading to the dance studio. Usually, the studio was a spacious room, with a gigantic mirror on one side.

Today, it wasn’t. He gasped in surprise at what had been done to it. There were thin strings spread vertically across the room, like the clothing hangers that people had outside when drying their clothes. However, tied to them weren’t clothes but slips of colourful paper, suspended in midair, swaying quietly.

There were loads of them, all with different colours and things written on them. Xiumin felt curious as to what was actually on it and so he grabbed the nearest paper (the only simple white one) and turned it to read.  

‘You have perfect teeth; they’re straight, white and beautiful. You need to do a Colgate commercial.’ He giggled and smiled, feeling flattered as he realized the cards had compliments on them.

He moved to a lavender coloured paper and read it. ‘Your hair is soft and pretty. I personally think you have the best hair in all of EXO, hell, you have the best hair in the world. It always looks great; even when you’re sweaty, even when you’ve just woken up. Plus, it always smells amazing.’ He touched his hair unconsciously; his chest seemed to be getting lighter and lighter, happiness bubbling in his heart.

He continued walking, slowly going through the sweet messages.

‘Your hands are firm yet gentle. I always feel safe with you.’

‘Nail polish actually looks good on you.’

‘You can make baggy sweatpants look like designer clothing.’

His smile got bigger and bigger as he moved forward slowly. He was stopped at a bright red coloured paper. ‘Your cheeks are your strongest suit. They are my favorite feature of yours and trust me; I have a lot of favorites.’ The uncertainty that had been crippling Xiumin disappeared with those words and Xiumin laughed sincerely and happily, feeling breathless and relieved and grateful and so in love.

“Luhan? Where are you?” He called out, a beam on his face. No response came. He smiled, the boy must be hiding somewhere here. Well, I can look out for him as I go through the papers. He went through each row of cards, laughing and smiling and blushing at the sincere messages.

‘You are amazing at dancing. For me, you even surpass Lay, Kai and Sehun. The amount of passion you contain is inspiring and it is released when you dance.’

‘Your voice is beautiful. It is beautiful when you whisper to me, it is beautiful when you yell at me, it is beautiful when you are singing; god, what I mean is, you have a ing awesome voice.’

‘Your lips are very pretty. They are soft and smooth, I can see why so many girls fangirl over you.’

He flushed red at the message about the lips but couldn’t contain the grin on his face. As he reached the last row, he spotted Luhan. He was at the end of the row, smack dab in the middle of the rows. The boy had his back turned to him, a gigantic pink paper held in his hands but the paper with the written words turned away so that Xiumin couldn’t see what it said.

Xiumin smiled and although he wanted to race to the boy immediately and shower him with thanks, he also wanted to finish the messages, knowing how long Luhan must have spent on them. Besides, they were so sweet.  

‘You are the most patient person in the world. EXO would be a mess without you. I would be a mess without you. I don’t know how I managed 20 years before you.’ Xiumin felt himself blush at the words; I would be a mess without you. He knew that Luhan didn’t mean it in a romantic way but he couldn’t help but feel his heart beat faster at those words.

‘Your eyebrows are amazing, well defined and perfect. You can control your facial expression but your eyebrows always give you away.’ He wiggled his eyebrows.

‘You’re so y.’ He flushed at the bluntness of the words but couldn’t help but feel secretly pleased.

‘You have cute ears.’ The tips of Xiumin’s ears turned red.

‘If you were the maknae, no one would be able to resist your aegyo. Never mind if you were the maknae, you could probably pass of as the youngest; you’re so adorable. I can’t resist it despite your aegyo despite being younger than you.’ For the first time, Xiumin didn’t feel slightly offended at being called adorable or being thought of as a maknae.

He didn’t think it was possible to smile any more than he was now when he reached the last card. It was sunshine yellow. It read, in simple and block letters, ‘WHEN YOU SMILE, THE SUN SHINES.’ Xiumin giggled. His smile widened even more. He let the paper go and it turned in the air. The messages were done. He took a deep breath, feeling like he could erupt with happiness.

Xiumin walked over to Luhan. The younger boy’s back was still turned. Xiumin tapped his shoulder. Luhan turned around but his face and upper body was covered by the paper. Xiumin finally saw what was written on it.

‘Minseok or Xiumin or even Baozi, it doesn’t matter what I call you, you are perfect to me. Don’t bother with anyone who says otherwise. I’ll beat them up. You are amazing and perfect. Remember, you are perfect. PERFECT. Don’t worry, I’m not going to let you forget.  I will tell you this every day, until you finally believe me and until you get sick of hearing it.’

Xiumin’s eyes began to water. He blinked rapidly, as tears threatened to fall from his eyes. “Luhan.” He let out, wanting to sound confident but what came out was a choked sob. Luhan raised the paper down. His eyes were filled with uncertainty and worry. “Minseok, what’s wrong?” He asked frantically, “Do you not like it?”

Huh, not like it? What a joke. He wanted to thank the boy, to shower him with compliments in return, to go down on his knees in front of this angel but all that came out was:

“You, all this, thank you,” He let out, his heart overcome with a mixture of emotions, one significantly more powerful than the others; love. Love for this pretty deer, love for this angel, love for this person who was just his best friend. But, oh god, Xiumin wanted more. He wanted so much. It may be greedy or selfish of him, but he wanted more. Luhan gave a proud and sincere smile. “Well, it was all true.” Luhan said confidently.

Those words did something to Xiumin that even years later, he would not be able to explain. They stirred up something in him that took control over all of Xiumin’s rationality and logic. Something which he didn’t recognize and was completely overcome by in seconds. All he knew was in that moment, he wanted to kiss Luhan. And so that was what he did.

~~

OMO ABOUT TIME XIUHAN JESUS

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Two Xiumin chapters in a row, so the next two will probably be Luhan (P.O.V.) chapters.

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