Luhan had never meant to avoid Xiumin. It had just happened. Everytime he looked at the shorter boy, he would start to blush uncontrollably and feel his heart flutter in ways he couldn't explain. So, he stopped sitting next to Xiumin. He stopped giving the boy hugs and whispering in his ear. It had been difficult, much harder than Luhan had expected. It was scary how lost he felt without Xiumin. 

They had reached China and were currently staying in a rented house. When deciding the rooms, Luhan had begged Lay to let him stay with him and Lay had agreed. Their room was messy, messier than it would have ever been with Xiumin. Lay had a habit of leaving things around and then forgetting where he kept them. It was annoying. Currently, they were all getting some rest after the flight. Tomorrow would be the start of the promotions that they would be doing, Luhan was excited but also cautious, he would be forced to communicate with Xiumin when they were doing an interview. 

Luhan sighed, flopping back on the bed. He had, in a worried state, talked to Lay at the airport about how he reacted when Xiumin was there and the conversation they'd had was still fresh in his mind. 

"Why, did something embarrassing happen between you two, making you blush?" Lay asked him. 

"No. Nothing happened. I don't get why this is happening. I can't even be around him anymore." Luhan said, frustrated. 

Lay was silent for a while. 

"Luhan-ge, do you think Xiumin is handsome?" 

"Of course!" 

"Luhan-ge, do you like Xiumin's personality?" 

"I wouldn't be his friend if I didn't." Luhan deadpanned. 

Lay became silent again. 

When he spoke again it was hesitant. "Do you think you might like Xiumin? In a romantic way?"  Lay spoke. 

Luhan had frozen. He had never even thought about it that way. Xiumin was his best friend. Emphasis on friend. You don't like your friends in a romantic way, especially your best friend. It would end in nothing but trouble. Besides, Luhan was straight. He couldn't possibly like Xiumin. "I'm straight." He had let out, but it had been shaky and Lay had looked unconvinced. "There's nothing wrong with being gay." He had said comfortingly. 
 

"But I'm not!" He had replied angrily. Lay had just nodded, leaving the topic alone. 

He had been so confident before but Luhan wasn't so sure anymore. He had never even considered the possibility of being homoual. He had never thought about it. He'd had girlfriends and although, admittedly, they hadn't worked out, he assumed he just needed to find the right person. 

And that person couldn't be Minseok. 

Could it?

Luhan shook his head in misery. He just felt even more confused now. He got up and began to pace.

Don't think about it, he ordered himself but it was no use. His mind repeated the same lines to him over and over again. Are you gay? Do you like Minseok? Are you gay? Are you gay? ARE YOU GAY? If you like a boy, it means you're gay; do you like Minseok? Do you like him? Do you? Do you?! Are you gay? "I'm not." He yelled out suddenly, trying to block the voices out. He felt something inside him break as he collapsed on the floor, sobbing. 

Oh god. 

No. 

I'm gay. I'm gay. 

What would his parents say? 

What would his friends say?

What would s say?

What would the fans say?

He was gay. He was gay. Oh god, no. Please. 

I can't be. There's no way. 

You're gay, his heart said.

You're gay because you like Kim Minseok. 

~

Luhan felt tired as he lay in his bed later. He hadn't stepped out of the room at all and when Tao had come to check on him, Luhan had pretended to sleep. He felt tired, but it wasn't the kind of tired that could be solved by sleeping. 

He took out his phone and went to the photos section. He found a picture of Minseok. It was from the time when Luhan had been sleeping, Minseok had taken his phone and taken a bunch of random pictures. Luhan stared at the pictures of Minseok. Why did he like him? But it was a silly question that Luhan already knew the answer to. He didn't like the answer at all.

He got up from bed and grabbed a jacket and a random pair of shoes. He took sunglasses and a beanie and left the room. 

~

In the living room sat Tao, Xiumin and Chen watching a show on the screen. They were laughing at something but grew silent when they saw Luhan with his sunglasses and beanie. "Are you going somewhere, hyung?" Chen asked, concern in his voice. Luhan stopped and looked back at them. He was looking at Xiumin, specifically but no one could tell because of the sunglasses. 

"I'll be back." He said, his voice firm and emotionless. "Wait, where are you-" He got out of the house, slamming the door behind him. 

~

"Where did he go?" Kris asked them, annoyance in his voice. "We don't know, I already told you! He didn't say anything!" Chen said exasparated yet worry was on his face. "You just let him leave?" Kris interrogated. "He didn't stop at all! We tried to call him back but Luhan-ge wouldn't listen." Tao said, backing Chen up. "Did you try calling him?" Lay asked. Everyone grew silent. 

"Okay, now I feel dumb." Chen said, laughing awkwardly. Lay pulled out his phone and dialled a number. Everyone looked at him, silent and anticipating. "He's not picking up." Lay said after a while. ". If the manager comes back before Luhan, there'll be hell." Kris said angrily. Lay looked at Xiumin. "Hyung, why don't you try?" Lay asked softly. 

Xiumin looked at the boy, confused. "Try what?" 

"Calling Luhan." 

"Oh, I don't think he would accept it. He hasn't really been talking to me lately." 

"Just try it." Kris said angrily. Xiumin gulped nervously at the angry tone in Kris's voice. "A-alright." He mumbled taking out his phone. He went to his contacts and at speed dial, there was 'Lu-ge :)' He tapped it before placing in on his ear. The phone rang continuously and Xiumin waited patiently. After the 6th ring, he sighed. "Looks like he's not going to-" "Hello?" He heard a voice say, it wasn't Luhan's. 

"Uh, hello. Who is this?" Xiumin asked nervously. 

"I work at a bar. Are you a friend of a boy with blonde hair?" He heard a reply. 

A bar? Luhan went to a bar? "Yeah." 

"Oh, can you come pick your friend up? He drank too much and then fainted." The bartender bluntly recalled, his voice emotionless. 

"What's the address?" He asked putting the phone on speaker so that his Chinese members could note it down. 

Kris frowned. "I know this place. It's a bar." He said. Xiumin nodded. "What is Luhan hyung doing there?" Chen asked. No one knew the answer. "Okay, Me and Minseok hyung will go and get him. You guys stay here." Lay said. Kris stood up. "I should go as well. I'm the leader." 

Lay shook his head. "We don't need 3 people. Besides, you need to cover for us as well as get these two to bed." He said nodding at Chen and Tao. Kris sighed. "Alright, but if anything happens, call me first." 

Lay nodded. "Let's go Minseokkie." He said. Xiumin followed him. "It would have been better if you took Kris." He wondered out loud. Lay simply shook his head. 

~

"Is this the place?" Xiumin said looking at the unfamiliar characters on the sign. Lay looked at the paper and looked up again. "Yeah, seems to be." He said after a quik comparison of the chinese letters that Kris had scrawled and the luminous sign. They entered the bar. It wasn't a very loud place, there weren't many people there. Xiumin immediately spotted Luhan and headed straight to him. The boy's head was on the counter, his arms sprawled around him. 

Lay tapped the boy's head. "Luhan." He called. The boy gave no response. Xiumin shook the boy gently. "Luhan, get up." He said. Luhan groaned before getting up. "Who are you?" He stared at Lay. "Ohhhhhhh, Layyyyy!" Luhan said swaying. Lay grabbed him before he could fall. "YiXinggggggg, why did you- why did you ask me that stupid question? I can't get it out of my head." Luhan moaned. "I know the answer now though." He giggled walking forward. "Luhan, how much did you drink?" Xiumin asked the boy, helping Lay by holding Luhan from the other side. 

"Minseok." Luhan turned to look at Xiumin. "Minseok-ah, you're making me go craaaaazyyyy." He giggled. He leaned closer so that his face was inches away from the shorter boy. Xiumin froze under the boy's intent gaze. "You're pretty." He said giggling. "So pretty. Like a steamed bun. I want a baozi. Lay, can you get me a baozi?" Luhan pleaded Lay. Lay just sighed as they stumbled along the pavement. "Continue walking. Thank god there's not a lot of people here." Luhan suddenly stopped. "Why? Why do I like you so much?" He whispered, staring at the floor in exasperation. "Who is he talking to?" Xiumin asked Lay, confused. 

"For 's sake, I'm talking to-" Lay clapped a hand over Luhan's mouth. "Shut up, Luhan." He said quickly. Xiumin was shocked. Lay and Luhan were acting strange. "Guys, what's going on?" He asked. "Nothing." Lay and Luhan both said. Luhan laughed, trying to high-five Lay but was ignored. 

He then grew silent until they reached the house. "Be quiet." Xiumin instructed as they entered through the back door. The kitchen, which was the room they had entered into was dark. They tiptoed but froze when they heard the manager's voice. "They went to bed already?" The manager was asking. "Yes!" Kris's reply was heard. "I should check on them." The manager said. 

The manager's voice was heard before he walked into the kitchen. "Aya, where's the light switch?" His voice was heard. Xiumin immediately gabbed Luhan's hand and brought him into the next room, pushing him into a corner behind the door. They both breathed in heavily, panting from the shock of the close encounter. Xiumin looked up to see Luhan already staring at him with a strange look in his eye. 

"Minseok." Luhan whispered. "Shh." Xiumin said pressing one of his fingers to the boy's lips. He quickly removed it when he saw Luhan's raised eyebrows. "Sorry." He whispered looking down. He suddenly felt a hand cup his cheek and bring it up. "Don't be." Luhan breathed out. He leaned closer, his eyes shutting. Xiumin realized what was about to happen. His eyes widened and he felt his heart beat faster. As Luhan came closer though, Xiumin closed his eyes as well. He didn't know why he did it. It just happened. He put his head up a bit, encouraging Luhan to come closer. There was only a gap of 1 or 2 inches left between them when the lights . They jumped apart, both staring at the ground. 

Xiumin felt himself blush. Chen's voice was heard. "Come on hyungs! Get to bed. Kris can't distract manager hyung forever." Xiumin felt Luhan look at him but he refused to look up. Lay came and grabbed Luhan taking him to the bed. Luhan went quietly. "Come on, hyung. You better go to bed as well." Chen said, offering a hand. Xiumin took it gratefully. "What just happened?" He asked the young boy. "What do you mean?"Chen asked confusion on his face. Xiumin shook his head. 

"Nothing, it's nothing." 

But his heart protested. It's something. 

~~~

Early update. Lol, i did this in school bc I have a lot of homework to do when I go home. 

Sorry for any mistakes. It's also a bit rushed, I'm aware. Sorry. I honestly don't have enough time to do anything about it right now. 

Thank you for the comments and subscribers. It is appreciated. 

Bye! Have a nice day!