Luhan knows that he should probably tell Xiumin about his decision. That he has decided to leave. But he can't. It doesn't make sense, Xiumin himself had said that he would rather Luhan be happy. Leaving SM Entertainment would definitely be good for his body but he wasn't so sure about his heart. Xiumin didn't seem to realize when he had insisted that happiness and health were the most important factors that Luhan should consider, that he was a large part of Luhan's happiness. 

Xiumin, the boy who Luhan had spent only around 3 years with. Xiumin, the boy who made Luhan feel like they had known each other for a lifetime. Xiumin, the boy who knew him better than Luhan knew himself. Xiumin, the boy who accepted Luhan's faults easily and complimented Luhan's strengths regularly. Xiumin, Luhan's first love. 

~

The time was 6:30am and Luhan was speaking to his parents on the phone. It was the only time he could. "So, you're not visiting?" His mum asked, her voice filled with sadness. "No, not this time." Luhan said, regret filling his voice. "Oh. Well, work hard!" His mum said cheerfully, trying to mask the sadness. Luhan smiled bitterly. "Sorry.." He said softly. "It's not your fault." His mum replied. 

They continued to talk about small things as Luhan was quickly informed on what was going on with all of their relatives. Soon, he was laughing along, his heart light and relaxed. It was then that Xiumin walked in, his hair wet from showering. He grinned when he saw that Luhan was on the phone and walked over to him. "Parents?" He asked softly. Luhan nodded in reply. Xiumin smiled. "Tell them I said Hi." The boy said before walking to the other side, taking out a towel from one of the closets. "Minseok says Hi." He relayed to his mum who laughed. "Aw. When am I ever going to meet this Minseok?" She asked. 

Luhan smiled. "One day. But you may be disappointed," He grinned. "Minseok is much shorter than you would expect." Xiumin turned around and let out an indignant "Ya!" before tossing a pillow at Luhan. Luhan laughed, dodging the pillow before continuing to converse with his mum as she talked about his dad's recent promotion at his job. Luhan followed along, adding on to some of the words. His mum had always been the talker of the family and could talk about anything and everything for ages. He let her talk, taking comfort in listening to her familiar accent. 

Xiumin picked up a few things and walked over to him, placing a soft kiss on his cheek before waving and walking out of the door. Luhan touched his cheek which had gone all tingly. "Mum." He let out, interrupting her smooth flow. "Yes?" She asked. "Does a person only love once?" He asked his mum quietly. There was a short silence. "Are we talking about someone specific here?" His mum asked in response. "Does a person only love once?" He repeated the question. His mum sighed. "It depends on the person." She replied.

That wasn't exactly the response that Luhan had been waiting for. "How do you know what type of person you are then?" He asked. "Han, what is going on?" His mum asked, using the nickname she used when he was a child and it made him feel all young and babyish again, recalling his mother's concerned expressions and ability to figure out what was wrong simply by glancing at him.

"I don't know what I'm doing." He admitted. "Huh?" His mother asked. "I- I just don't know what to do anymore. It's like I'm being forced to pick someone. And I don't want to." He continued. "Luhan, what is going on?" His mother asked, her voice filled with worry. Luhan sighed.

"I'm leaving him."

~

Luhan walked downstairs and saw that Kai had ordered chicken for lunch. Again. Nowadays, D.O. didn't feel like cooking, exhausted from the schedule and they had mostly resorted to ordering takeout. Unfortunately, the maknaes were in charge of ordering, after finding out the most popular option on what everyone wanted to eat. However, Kai would simply order chicken every time, claiming it was the most popular. 

At first, Luhan hadn't really minded. But now, after eating chicken everyday for a week, he was getting kind of sick of it. Luhan sat down next to Xiumin and began to whine about the food. "How many times will we have to eat chicken?" He demanded. Kai grinned. "It was the most popular option." He said, shrugging his shoulders. Luhan narrowed his eyes at the younger boy. "Yeah right." He replied before rolling his eyes.

Xiumin turned to smile at him. "How's everything with the family?" He asked, seeming genuinely interested. Luhan smiled. "My mum really wants to meet you." He replied. "Yeah, I would want to meet my son's boyfriend as well." Suho commented dryly. Luhan threw one of the carrots (that came with the chicken) at the boy. "Wait, does that mean you have a son?" Chen suddenly attacked, his lips turned up in a feline-like smirk. Suho's face paled. "NO! No! What the heck Jongdae?" He asked incredulously. 

"Please, Jongdae, we both know that Joonmyun hyung is still a ." Baekhyun added. Chanyeol burst into laughter along with the other members who understood. Lay and Tao looked slightly confused. "Wait, what is Joonmyun?" Lay asked out loud. "." Baekhyun said in Mandarin immediately. Lay 'oh'd loudly and Tao burst into his usual high-pitched laughter. 

Luhan watched with a small smile as the members joked around and laughed. He felt someone hold his hand and turned to see Xiumin smiling at him. "What?" Luhan asked, poking the boy's cheek casually. Xiumin smiled even more. "You're pretty." The boy said suddenly and Luhan cocked his head in half-surprise and half-shyness. "Thanks?" He said uncertainly, blushing slightly with a small smile.

It's not like he hadn't been called pretty before. With his (annoyingly) feminine looks, it was expected. It would irritate Luhan who found it to be an insult to be called pretty- it made him sound weak and pathetic, an ornament to be looked at. But strangely, when Xiumin said it, it sounded different. It made him feel special. 

It made him feel loved. 

Xiumin giggled and turned away, focusing on the other members with a content expression. Luhan's smile disappeared as he suddenly remembered. I'm leaving. Will I still be pretty to you then? Will you still love me then?

~~~

Thank you for all the support! I have an English exam tomorrow! WISH ME LUCK :DDDD (im going to die)

Bye!