“You don’t like her.” Bobby’s sudden words took me by surprise. 

“What?” Hanbin questioned back.

“The feelings you have aren’t those kinds of feelings you think they are.” Bobby continued. “So, stop avoiding her.”

Hanbin scoffed, still not believing the words that were coming out of Bobby’s mouth. “Hey, even I think it’s unreal…and weird that I like needy Jiwoo but seriously, I think I know when I like someone.” He said in disbelief.

Whoa, did he just call me ‘needy Jiwoo’? When did I get that name?

“I’m telling you that you’re confused.” Bobby didn’t seem fazed by Hanbin’s insistence.

But, it wasn’t just Hanbin that was confused. From where I stood, I can confidently say I have no idea where Bobby was going with this either. This kid has something up his sleeve. That's one thing I'm sure about.

Bobby goes on. “You and Jiwoo started off being around each other for the sake of a verbal contract and now, you have gotten close to her. That’s simply it.” He further explained while I tried to wrap my head around his words. 

“What exactly are you saying, Bobby?”

“What I’m saying is that, you care for her. That doesn’t necessarily mean you like her in that manner. It just means that you see her as a friend now.”

His words suddenly pulled me back to reality. That’s right. Hanbin could simply be mistaking these sudden feelings. There may be nothing to it. Now that I’m thinking about it, I think I tried to convince Mino of the same thing – though it failed when it came to him.

Hanbin hesitates on answering. 

“Believe me, Hanbin.” Bobby chuckles as his tone suddenly lightens. “That’s all it is.”

Hanbin breathes out. “So, I didn’t do anything wrong?”

“No.” Bobby laughs at his best friend. “You were freaking out for nothing. Practice is going to start soon. Go change first, I’ll meet you after.”

“…Okay.” Hanbin was still so absentminded that when he left the rooftop, he breezed by me – not once noticing where I was hiding behind the door. I watched as he quickly made his way down the stairs while I mindlessly walked onto the school roof to meet the boy that was left behind.

“You heard it all, didn’t you?”

I snorted. All this was a false alarm. “You called me up here so I would hear it all? What for?” So I realize that Hanbin thinks of me as a friend? So much for leaving me hanging last week when I asked him about it.

Bobby stared at me, not amused by my words.

What’s with the seriousness?

“Make sure he remains thinking that way.”

I looked back at him, suddenly baffled. “You lost me.”

“Make sure he believes what I told him.”

“…But, didn’t you tell him the truth?” Bobby doesn’t answer right away and a look of disbelief makes its way across my features once a thought settles in. “You actually think he likes me?” What pure ridiculousness. 

“He does.” Bobby simply responds.

“You just convinced him otherwise.” Why do I suddenly feel so agitated?

“To make sure he doesn’t avoid you.”

Now I know why I am getting so annoyed the longer I spoke to Bobby. “Is this all for the sake of your plan?” Waiting for his answer changed my annoyance into an ‘oh, my God’ feeling. “Bobby, you just manipulated your best friend.” I wasn’t sure if he understood what he was doing. “Don’t you think you’re going a bit far?” I asked but I knew the answer to that – it wasn’t just a bit, he went a mile far.

And as I stared at him, the last thing I wanted to do was sympathize with Bobby but it was so hard after seeing the expression on his face. 

“Why do you get to look like you’re going through a hard time?” I questioned. Why is he making that expression? “Why are you doing this?” That should be a better question. 

“You care for him, don’t you, Jiwoo?”

“What does that have to do with anything with what we’re talking about right now?”

“If he avoids you, you can’t help him anymore.” He answers. “Would you be okay with that?” He paused for a moment before adding. “I can tell that you think of him as a friend now.” This time, Bobby wavered and looked away from me.

But, what is Bobby trying so hard to hide? Even now, he won’t even tell me. 

“He can’t realize his feelings for you.” He continued since I couldn’t exactly figure out what I wanted to say in response. “If he does, he’s just going to put up his walls again.”

I closed my eyes for a quick second, tired of it all already. 

What choice did I have in all of this? My mind wasn’t cooperating as I tried to think of solutions and when none came up – “…All I have to do is make sure he believes this is all true?” 

Bobby snapped his head up to look at me, startled. He probably thought it would be harder to get me to play along. “Please.” That was the first time ever that Bobby had uttered that word to me. In such a situation – how desperate was he?

“Just in case it wasn’t clear – I already know this is a bad idea, Bobby.”

***

What exactly does it mean to like someone? I’m still confused by it all. Isn’t it just a desire to be around someone you’re attached to? I have mentioned it before – how it doesn’t do anyone good to catch feelings. You’re opening yourself up to a big jar of hurt. 

It’s not worth it.

And now, comparing it to Hanbin’s case – I don’t even know how it all happened. I mean, we didn’t care for each other at all in the beginning…my personality isn’t the best – what exactly did he see?

But in the end, it was a terrible notion to like me anyway.

My point is thus proven once more. 

I repeat – it’s not worth it.

On the other hand, I know Bobby had a different goal in mind when he told me to make sure Hanbin doesn’t realize these ‘feelings’ he had for me but if I listen to him and pretend that those specific feelings towards me are just of the friendship kind, doesn’t that also benefit me in a way? It saves me from the trouble of having to tell Hanbin my blunt feelings – I am incapable of ever feeling that way towards someone (at the moment).

Jimin always said maybe it was because I don’t have time for it or that maybe I needed to mature a bit more