I replayed the words in my mind. No, it wasn’t a mistake. I did really say them. 

I can still see how Mino’s face clearly twitched at my words. My heart thumped against my chest as I registered what I had done. There’s no going back now, it was too late for takesies-backsies. The main focus should be the fact that I voluntarily accepted Hanbin’s offer but my focus suddenly diverted to the words that Mino left me with:

This is not going to be a repeat.

The words were enough to worry me because I didn’t understand them. I didn’t know what he meant when he said ‘repeat’ and it was enough for me to say that it was probably not good in any way. The focus suddenly takes off in a different direction once again – does what Mino say count as giving up on me…? I wasn’t entirely sure and that was a bit troubling.

“Ji –…woo…Jiwoo…” 

Yes, this incident was yesterday but my mind was still consumed with the words. I didn’t know much about parting but I would say that that parting from last night left quite a few open-ended problems and questions. Not a good sign. If only we parted on better terms. Like, with Mino saying that he wanted nothing to do with me. So close. Damn it.

“Jiwoo!” 

I looked up after closing my locker to find Sanghee standing beside me. “When did you get here?” I pushed aside the thoughts for now.

“Like five minutes ago. You were just staring into your locker.” She mumbles before leaning against the rows of lockers and switching the subject. “Does it still hurt?”

“Does what hurt?” I asked when nothing came to mind.

She eyes the side of my face carefully. “Your cheek.”

Oh right. I keep forgetting about the scratch. “Sanghee, stop worrying. I’ll live.” Now do you all see the serious case of guilt she tends to suffer from? 

“Well, Jiwoo, I’m telling you now. I’m getting her back.” Sanghee speaks adamantly.

“No smashing.” I remind her.

“Sure.” She waves me off and I can only hope that there wouldn’t be a repeat of yesterday’s bathroom fight or at least not with me present. At the sound of the bell ringing to signal the start of homeroom, we said our goodbyes and separated.

On the way down the hall, my troubles returned and became the center of my attention again. Right now, I have a bully with huge s and I lied about having a relationship with a delinquent to avoid another just as dangerous delinquent.

What’s next?

Actually, what a dangerous question to ask.

As soon as I walked through the doorway into homeroom, there was one person that appeared in my line of vision.

Kim Hanbin.

I mean Bobby did hint that there was more to Hanbin. So maybe, it wouldn’t be as bad as I think, right? Like, maybe I’m exaggerating the misery I’m expecting. Or, maybe Hanbin will magically decide to be a good person from now on. 

Just kidding. 

Maybe Bobby will get a chance to finally speak to the boy about his issues. That was a more likely event. Or will this be another case of positive and wishful thinking on my part?

Someone help me.

***

“So, you’re telling me –“

“Yes, we’re dating.” I cleared it up for my ‘boyfriend’ in one blunt shot.

People, even though the damage is done, it still took me the whole day to finally talk to Hanbin about this. If it wasn’t for the pressure of the last bell of the day and the thought of meeting Mino again coercing me, I would have probably pushed it off until tomorrow…or the next day…or – you guys get it. I really didn’t want to face my decision since I knew how bad of a decision it was – despite Hanbin insisting on it in the first place. Because God knows how bad his own decisions are. 

“Well, it seems forever wasn’t that long after all.” He responds all smug and whatnot. That look on his face was enough to make me question what the hell I was even thinking, and if I wasn’t wrong, it felt like this situation was more dreadful to me than it was for Hanbin. Well to be more precise, he found this more amusing than I did. Do you all see the distinct contrast in our feelings?

Was it too late to take it all back?

Or was this all permanent? Because I think I just sold my soul to this tyrant. 

Now, all I can do is to somehow make this all bearable. “There’s something we need to be clear about.” I tried to save my terrible mistake and began the negotiation. 

Hanbin’s face scrunched in displeasure. “What is it now?”

“You promise that they’ll stop bothering Sanghee and I?” I wanted to be sure that Hanbin wasn’t just making false promises to get me to continue this scam because that was the main motivation for me to agree with this. “Also, don’t forget to keep Mino away from me –“

“Yes, yes, yes.” He answers in exasperation. “But, you have to play the part convincingly.” Hanbin points out. “You know, that way Mino gets mad.”

I’m not sure but I wonder if Hanbin was enjoying this too much. I blinked a few times. “Um –“ I thought back to his words. Convincingly? I didn’t really know how.

“What? You can’t even do that?” Hanbin catches my hesitation.

“I mean…I’ll try my best.” I didn’t exactly have experience but it shouldn’t be that hard, right? I mean I can just practice by watching those mushy dramas. Shouldn’t be a problem. 

Wait, does this include…handholding? My body shivered at the thought.

Hanbin reached out and patted my head. “Good.”

I flinched upon contact because I knew he didn’t mean it as an endearing way – it felt more like him petting a dog and I didn’t quite appreciate it.

Before he turned away, he stopped as he remembers something. “What’s your name again? Just in case.”

I gave him a look. Yeah, maybe he should know his ‘girlfriend’s’ name. I knew he was going to forget. Jerk. “Han Jiwoo.”

He nods in response and walks toward me. He reached out his hand and gently skimmed the side of my face, playing with some of my hair strands as he passes. “See you tomorrow, Jiwoo.” 

Ugh. I hated the sound of my name leaving his mouth and maybe I should have mentioned a ‘no touching’ rule. Was it still applicable? I can’t believe I allowed this to happen willingly – why does this feel as if Hanbin did get what he wanted in the end? Like I was somehow making up for his poor eye?

It was healing! I would like to mention again.

After Hanbin left me alone on the school’s rooftop, my senses returned to me. I realized then that Hanbin’s friend, Bobby had played a part in this. The only reason Hanbin even came to my mind as a solution was because that particular boy said there was more to the delinquent.

And, that simple thought created some sort of hope within me (despite me not wanting that to happen) that Hanbin will do more good than harm. 

I am majorly gambling on this. 

It was only now that I saw how foolish I was. I had decided to jump the gun and trusted Bobby too soon. Just due to some of his words, I chose to believe him so easily. So now, I