I never knew this level of pain can exist.

How was this even possible? All I can think about was how I could stop it. 

Don’t cry.

Don’t cry.

Though I managed to recite the mantra, I couldn’t help as my eyes started to become warm with forming tears. Oh, God. Here it comes.

“Don’t cry, don’t cry.” I could somewhat hear someone else repeating the same lines in panic. 

As soon as one tear slipped, I could hear the same voice again.

“I said not to cry!” 

I opened my eyes as his face got closer to my own – I’m sure to check to see if the tears are real and honest to God, they were. Now, I remember what happened. I clutched my arm thinking it would somehow ease this throbbing dull pain that ran from my injured shoulder to my elbow. “What else am I supposed to do? It hurts so goddamn much.” My words came out in a whimper. “This is all your fault.” 

“I slipped. It was an accident.”

“It was avoidable.”

“How was I supposed to know the floor up there was wet!” 

“They’re called eyes. Use them.” I answered and wiped away the tears with the back of my hand. The pain was starting to subside but the sheer feeling of it rendered me immobile.

“You’re fine.”

I immediately shot Hanbin a glare as the tears started to form once more after his insensitive remark. Not what I wanted to happen but the body did what it wanted to do anyway.

“…Maybe not.” He blankly corrected himself due to the look he received.

I dropped my head. One thing I didn’t want Hanbin seeing was my tear-drenched face. He wasn’t special enough. Just when I thought I could subtly wipe the rest of the tears away, Hanbin grabbed my hand and placed it on his outstretched arm. Pushing his arm forward, he allowed me to hide my eyes in his sleeve. 

And, just when I thought it was starting to heal – goddamn it, Hanbin. I think this accident rendered all improvements nonexistent. All the healing that took place this week - erased, proved to have been a waste. I opened one eye after not hearing anything and found Hanbin sitting cross-legged in front of me with his arm still bent for my use. The passing students looked at us curiously as they moved up and down the stairway. The same stairway Hanbin had us tumbling down after he slipped on the wet floor and pulled me down with him.

Like, who grabs the person they’re with…you grab the damn railing! 

I didn’t initiate any movement to get up because the mere thought of it made me fear the pain that might result from it. And like that, we sat there for the following minutes. Right there. Right at the bottom of the steps. Just, casually. 

Wiping my snot onto his sleeve, I let go of his arm and used my own sleeves to dry my eyes. Okay, I’m done. I looked at Hanbin whose face twisted in disgust as he looked down to where my eyes and nose had been. “This is never happening again.” He comments while motioning at his dirtied blazer’s sleeve. “Let’s get up.”

“Don’t want to.” The thought of moving didn’t appeal to me just yet. I didn’t bother keeping him there either. Who knows what else is going to hurt when he’s around. Yet, Hanbin seemed to have ignored my words. Like he always did. He got up from the ground and attempted to reach out for me when I immediately stopped him. “Hanbin, you’re going to hurt me.” God, didn’t he know how rough he was?

His once outstretched hand was now clenched and pulled back to his side. “Fine, I’m not going to touch you but you can’t sit there all day.” 

I sighed and tried to push myself up. Staying true to his word – for like three seconds, Hanbin kept his hands to himself but eventually got tired of watching me. His hand reached out and gently held my uninjured arm and pulled me up to my feet. “Hanbin, I clearly said –“

“Are you hurting? No? Okay then.” He interrupted me before turning and walking away from me. My eyes narrowed in irritation while he disappeared around the corner when I followed afterwards upon fixing my backpack on my shoulders.

Even now, the first thing he does is brush things aside instead of apologizing. The boy does not know what is good for his soul. 

“Hanbin.” I called out to him. “You’re not going to feel good walking away like that.” My words prompted the boy to stop abruptly in the middle of the hall before turning around to face me. “But…what do I know, right?” I shrugged my shoulders exaggeratedly before casually heading towards my locker.

Silently, he followed me. “What Fall Sports Festival events did you sign up for?”

There he goes, brushing off my words. I don’t know why he takes forever to listen to me. Just wait. He’ll realize by next week. “Why?”

“I just want to know.”

“You’re not that interested in me so, why are you actually asking?” 

“You know the basketball courts in your neighborhood?”

“At the park? What about it?” I asked while Hanbin moved to grab my books. Something I feel like he is automatically doing at this point.

“Go there this weekend.” 

I paused and leaned against the lockers beside my own. “Why would I do that?”

His hands stopped their movements as he looked at me. “Can you please come to the courts?” He rephrased it as a question thinking that was the problem. 

But, no. This wasn’t the matter of him speaking in a polite manner, it was the matter of me actually wanting to do it or not. “Again…why would I do that?” My weekends were made to be Hanbin-free. And the thought of meeting up with him on my Hanbin-free weekend did not interest me. Not even in the slightest bit.

“What the –“ He stopped himself from finishing his outburst. “I asked you as nicely as I could – I did what you asked me to do.”

“Yes, you did – good job.” I answered in agreement. “But, I can say yes or no, Hanbin.” Did he forget that part? “And, I say no and thank you.” I took my backpack from him and proceeded to walk away. “Besides, you can just ask Bobby and Jinhwan…or better yet, ask your cousin. He is in love with you.” I still question why but it seems to be fact. 

“Do you think I would ask you if I had them available?” Hanbin questioned me.

I sighed. “Then, why is it so important that you can’t push it off?”

My body suddenly stops when Hanbin reaches out to hold onto my backpack. “Look here, I have been good to you all week.”

We’re like glue, I tell you. He wasn’t going to let this rest. I look