He opens the door to his house as slowlly as he can. He enters and lets out a sigh that he didnt know he was holding. With half of his brain working, he takes his phone to text his brother that he is at home already. What to do? He wants to smile...but theres something holding him back from it, maybe the pain?

He goes to his room and  takes his clothes off, he must clean them, he must clean himself. He goes out to check his parents room, its empty. Right, they were meeting friends tonight.Thank God. He takes a bath, warm to eas the muscle pain and then cold to shake off the awfull feeling of...had been used.

Kyungsoo is all clean now and so he takes care of his clothes, he washes everything and then dries them hoping that nobody comes back home. He tries to remember but he cant see images in his head, he just feels. Sitting besides the washing machine, in the deem light, he closes his eyes and feels. Feels the rough lips, the hard pushes, the happiness, the lust. He feels Taos hands on his body, all over it. He shivers, just like he did when he came under Tao, just like Tao shivered over him when he came.

Its half a dream, half a nightmare. He flashesfordward and promises himself to tell Zitao the truth the night of the Valentinae dance, the day that he will reveal himself.

---------------------------

There are two reasons for Huang Zitao to be crying on Wu Yifans doorstep on a sunday morning: one, he kissed the latters boyfriend on the mouth and kind of took advantage of the fact the he is much bigger than Joonmyeon. Two, he has the feeling that that wasnt the only reckless thing he did last night.

Yifan sighs watching Zitao crumbling down and muttering incoherent words in chinese on his doorstep.

"Calm down please", Yifan is trying to understand, he kind of knew that Tao had a crush on his boyfriend, never thought that he was going to act on it though. "Come in".

Zitao shyly entered the house and sat of the living room couch.

"Im really sorry...I...I was to drunk and...",he sobbed. "Please dont hate me too....I know that Joonmahao already hates me..."

"Joonmyeon hyung and he doesnt hate you....he is maybe suprised and to be honest I am too and disspointed"

"Im dissapointed on myself too...", he folds his hand together in a tense double fist.

"Is ok, just, dont do it again", is kind of heartbreaking for Tao that Yifan is so sure of his relationship with Joonmyeon that he is not even mad. "You are just a boy, youll found your own Joonmyeon", he pats his head. "Also, what do you mean you ed up more than once last night. Did you fight with Sehun?", the boy shook his head. "What then?"

"I think...I think I had been with someone...like...you know...hooked up...maybe"

"Hooked up? As in had ?", he asked slowlly because he knows his friend is a...

"I think I did, but I dont remember" and he bawls. "I had my first time and I dont remember, I didnt want it to be like that", he sobs. Yifan gets closer.

"But how do you know? Are you...uhm...hurting somewhere?"

"No...", he shakes his head. "I woke up and I was all dirty...you know, in my underwear"

"But that could be just...you"

"I went to the bathroom and...well I saw blood, not a lot just, like a dread I thought I hurt myself but...everything is ok with my...", he points between his legs. Yifan thinks his friend is over thinking things. "Also theres this", he lift his sleef and there anyone can clearly see the print of three fingers in angry red, it will leave a mark. Is a small hand.

"Is it possible that you were with a girl?"

"I dont know, I dont remember anything. What if I hurt somebody?", he was starting to cry again. Zitao is a good boy, really good person and Yifan can believe that he is very upset at the thought of him hurting somebody. But the truth is that they just have to wait and see. Sehun was just as drunk so he doesnt even know what day is today, let alone what the hell Zitao did last night...so no witnesses and he cant go around asking people if he slept with them!

-----------------------------

On sunday Kyungsoo spends most of the day in his room, everyone is tire, the whole family gets up late. The day just goes by. But then moday comes.

"What is up with him?", he hears Baekhyun whisper to Jongdae behind his back.

"No clue. He is just being a creep again. What else is new?", Jongdae is not there for Kyungsoos freak.

"Hey Kyungsoo..ssi, are you ok?", he just nods and he sees Zitao pass by, he hold his head down."Wow so much angst", Baekhyun really cant keep his mouth shut. "Something happend with him?", Kyungsoo shakes his head. "Are you not talking to me?",Kyungsoo snaps back to reallity.

"No, sorry. Im ok, thanks for asking", was that polite Kyungsoo? Is the world coming to an end? Jongdae and Baekhyun look at eachother. "Ehm...do you want to take a break?"

"What? Now?", Jongdae is really surprise now.

"Yes...everything...seems peacefull right?"

"Yeah, yes. Yes lets take a break", Jongdae states, Baekhyun nods.

"Ok. Ill see you later", Kyungsoo leaves them behind, the others dont ask any questions and go to enjoy whats left of resease.

On the roof top, the cold brise hits him hard. When he walks to sit he sees Jongin has Choi Hansol cornered against a wall. How shameless he is? Is the vice principals son! He stops and watches them. The gentle but needy hands, the fact that that boy is probably a better kisser than him. Jongin sees him.

"Oh my God! Arent you suppossed to come here on the long break?", the other boy freaks out more.

"Please dont tell my father", he pleads.

"Its ok. I wont bother you", he says and passes them by, the two shared worry looks for like one second and then goes back to the wall.

-------------------

"Dude you have to stop sulking", Sehun comments sounding frustrated.

"You dont understand", Zitao acuses.

Its lunch time and Kyungsoo sits woth his brother like usual, the dinamics are not normal today and he doesnt know why. Zitao is far from his brother and is to silent.What happend? Nobody will tell him and he wont ask...

"Kyung arent you gonna eat?", hos brother asks and all eyes turn to him.

"Yeah, is just...hot", is brother goes back to feed Yifan.

"Are you ok boss?", Baekhyun tries again and sounds sympathetic.

"Yes, please dont worry hyung", hyung? Something is very wrong.