Its cold outside and ....ok alone like he is, he really, is dark and he really doesnt know where he is. He is trying to find the park where they went in the morning, there is where he wants to get because theres a bus stop there. He knows, because Mister Park taught him, that the number 5 bus is the one that goes to his home. That he remembers well. But here is dark and he doesnt know where he is and he feels dumb and he feels like crying. Is so frustrating.

It doesnt matter, he will keep walking because is cold and because he will find the damn park.

----------------------

Zitao calls Hen Li again, actually, he goes to his home looking like a ghost and about to cry.

"Plaese look after the girls..I ..I dont know what to do ...I will go outside and..."

"Should we call the police?"

"No, not yet....I will look behind the building..I, I think that he went down the emergency stairs"

"Ok, dont worry for the girls, just go"

---------------------------

And no Kyungsoo is not behind the building, and Kyungsoo is not around the area after 20 minutes of search. The city becomes bigger and darker and Kyungsoo is not in it.

Tao calls Joonmyeon first for help, he shows up in five minutes with Sehun. They walk around again, they go to the supermarket where they went in the morning and later they go to the park where they also went, but he is not there.

"What happend?"

"I dont know, he was fine before diner and then when we cameback he just was off...he wouldnt have diner, he was disrespectfull to Hen Li..."

"He was with you?"

"He came to say hi", Joonmyeon noded.

"He doesnt like him", Sehun said. "He told us...he said something...uhm that he was ugly....Maybe he is jealous", Zitao sighs again. Joonmyeon stays silent.

"I told you before...I dont think he will be mad if you...is been so long and we both know that he is not the Kyungsoo that you...", Zitaos phone rings on his pocket.

"Hello...Oh my God! Where are you?...."

"Calm down", Sehun mutters

"What do you see? What can you see? Ok, can you see the street sign? Yes, yes I know...stay there, dont move, dont talk with anybody. Just, stay there!", he starts to walk to his house. "Take me Sehun, Ill tell you where it is"

"I wanna go too"

"No, go to the girls, tell Hen Li to leave them to you"

--------------------

Kyungsoo is outside a coffe shop, crying, sniffing a little. He feels stupid, but he also feels proud because at least he remembered Taos phone number. He was very scare, still scare, hes gonna be scolded.

Zitao almost jumps off the car.

"Kyungsoo!", the voice stunts Kyungsoo. Zitao walks toward him and he cowards a little, he is right to be afraid. "What is wrong with you?!", he grabs him by the arm. "Do you have any idea of how dangerous it is to be here?!", Kyungsoo didnt answer, all he wanted to do was cry and maybe hug Zitao?

"Tao, stop", Sehun came. "Hyung are you ok? Come lets go home", he offered a hand for Kyungsoo to take and he did. "Arent you cold? Are those your pajamas?", Tao heard Kyungsoo be asked as they walk to the car hand in hand. Tao tried to cool off his head.

-------------------

"Oh my God", Joonmyeon goes to hug his brother. "What happend? Where were you?"

"I  was on a coffe shop and.....Im sorry hyung", he tells his brother.

"Kyungie is not me who you have to apologize to", Kyungsoo nods.

"Am sorry Tao", he pouts.

"Why did you do this?"

"I...dont know...", he looks away.

"Ok", thats all Tao says. Joonmyeon looks like he wants to say something but Sehun stops him. Kyungsoos tears starts to fall silently.

"I...I want to see the babies", he asks.

"You know where their room is", Tao answers coldly and Kyungsoo leaves, Joomyeon walks behind him. They leave the room and Sehun looks at his friend.

"Stop, he is here and he is save. Try to calm, is not his fault", Zitao eases a hand over his head and then looks at his friend, there are tears in his eyes too. Then he looks in the direction where the brothers left and whispers.

"I  cant do this anymore Sehun. I thought I could, but no, is too much", he shakes his head. "I cant", he cries in Sehuns hold.

----------------

The couple leaves and Zitao and Kyungsoo are left alone.

"Are you gonna tell me why you did that?", Kyungsoo looks really gulty. "If you wanted to go out, we couldve done that, if you wanted coffe I couldve go and get it...why didnt you say anything?", because you were busy.

"I dont know Im sorry..."

"I dont believe you. Was it because of Hen Li?", yes. "You dont like him, is that it?", Kyungsoos silence gives him away. "Fine. You dont want him here when you come, ok, you wont see him", I dont want him around you, ever. "He is a good friend who always helped me without asking for anything in return, so I cant just pull him out of our lives. The girls know him well, he is a good person, you should stop acting like a kid and give him a chance....maybe even thank him for the things that hes done for your children", it hurts. "Is late. Im tire of this ", he stands up not waiting for Kyungsoo to follow, he follows anyway.

-----------------------

The next morning is so silent that even the girls seem to notice and dont make any fuss. Tao is not really talking to Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo is still scare.

"I already called your father, after lunch Im gonna take you back home", Kyungsoo is surprised and sad, Tao doesnt love him anymore.

"Ok, I will have my bags ready"

"We are going earlier because I want you to tell him what you did last night", Kyungsoo nods. He doesnt want to go back home, he wants to stay and play with the babies some more.

-------------------

Junsu opens the doors to his house with a welcoming smile and open arms, but he knows something is wrong right away when he sees his sons cheeks stain with tears and his red nose.

He exchanges greetings with Tao as well. They both look serious and sad. All four of them sit in the living room, the girls are playing in the carpet.

"What happend? You are worrying me", Junsu says.

"Tell your father Kyungsoo"

"I...I run away from the aparment last night", neither Junsu nor Mister Park understands.

"What? Why sweety?", Mister Park ask and his voice makes Kyungsoo cry.

"I dont know....I wanted to go out...", he sobs a little. Both babies perk up in alert.

"Hen Li went to have diner with us and Kyungsoo doesnt like him, so he felt like he should clime down the emergency stair and leave", Zitao explains.

"Kyungsoo", thats all Junsu can say.

"I just came because I want to say something to all of you", Zitao says and Kyungsoo knows is bad. He turns to look at Kyungsoo. "I need to take a break", his fiance blinks at him. "I need to take break", he says to Junsu who nods, understands. "Do you understand what Im saying?", he asks the "boy". "I wont be taking you to the aparment in the weekends for some time, we wont go to the mall for sometime, we wont..."

"I understand! You need time away from me! I understand that!"

"Kyungsoo honey", Mister Park says. Zitao just watches Kyungsoo have a tantrum.

"I thought I was strong, stronger. I thought I could, but I cant, ok? Is...is too much...is...I feel that I either focus on the girls or in you...both, I cant do both. Not right now. Im sorry", he says the last part to Junsu, who nods again.

"Its alright", the father answers. "Nobody is judging you son", Kyungsoo cant believe his father, he is taking Zitaos side, is he so not worth it? "Kyungie, honey, you dont have to worry either, ok? You have to focus on your recovery as well. Daddy will take of you ok?", Kyungsoo just looks at them.

"Will I see the girls?", he asks concern to Zitao.

"Of course. They are your babies too", Kyungsoo nods and stands up, he leaves to his room. And Zitao crumbles, Junsu moves to his couch to hold him once again. Mister Park goes to Kyungsoos room.

"I cant...", he cries really hard. "Im sorry"

"Shh...is ok, I know. I know", he pats his back and tightens his hold.

"Im so sorry...", he hiccups and his face goes red, he is breathless and coughs for air.

"Calm down, calm down. He will be fine. I know he understands"

"No, he doesnt....But I just cant anymore...Is to much", he shakes in his father in laws arms and cries more.

-------------------------

A rational part of him knows that he has to be sad, because for one he made a mistake, that at least he knows. There are other things that he cant put into words because he really cant understand them. Hen Li for example, what is it about him that he doesnt like? He has never done anything bad to him and he treats the girls well, so why? Is it because of Zitao? Because they are close, maybe. Maybe thats why when Hen Li is around all he wants to do is hug Zitao hard, hard, and never let him go. In retrospective, maybe he shouldve had done that. But then again if Zitao wants to be with Hen Li...they can be a better family. Perhaps the relationship that they had before wasnt so strong, perhaps this is really high school and he loves Zitao but Zitao still doesnt love him back...

He doesnt know how he should feel right now, if angry or sad or full of regret. He cant think of this things, the feelings, the weight of the situation. He feels as if something had been taken away from him, as if he lost something. But what? What did he lose? He is alive, his parents are ok, his babies are ok. He has it all, so then what did he lose? What does he feel like he lost something? Something in his chest? Because thats where he is clutching now. Is it his heart? Did Zitao took his heart with him? Did he ever gave it back?