What the hell is wrong with people, how can they be so unprofessional, how can they ing lose a pacient? A pacient that had been in coma?

The doctors are talking to Junsu and Mr Park, surelly trying to explain the unexplainable. Zitao sees Joonmyeon too, trying to calm his father and himself. Sehun just told him that they should call the police and shut the damn hospital down, he sounded angry.

Yes Zitao is angry too, he can not be other than angry. His brain is trying to tell him to remember all the hell, the hell that had been with out Kyungsoo and with Kyungsoo and all the of years after years and...

But no, he cant think of this, he has to find Kyungsoo because he always seem to fail Kyungsoo, he always fails to protect him, that when he is not the one hurting him. He is afraid again, all the time is same, theres always something that happends that leaves them on the edge of something terrible . Always fearing that a tragedy will come.

He sits for a moment, he looks around and regrets to think that he has become one of this people to whom the hospital is like a home, a damn home. The tought makes him more angry because they know him, and Kyungsoo, and the babies and every ing body, yet they lost his husband.

He gets up and sees Sehun talking to the head of security. His phone buzzes, is Jongdae who has the girls. He cant answer him, he cant really do anything right now. Is so hard to focus on one thing , just one, he needs to find a way to found Kyungsoo, he wants to think of that and he cant. So he gets up and goes for the door, he needs air.

–

He feels overwhalmed, the noises of the cars, the people walking and talking around him, everything is to much for him. Still he watches around him, is a square, a park? Is he far away from that place? The hospital? How long had been since he started walking away? He starts to breath hard, is hard, he starts to feel dizzy. He founds a bench near and sits. Thats when he realises that he is wearing something that looks like pajama pants. And the images attacks him: him and Tao in a department store looking at the pants in bags, he remembers.

–

Zitao doesnt know why but theres something, a force, an unexplicable force telling him to cross the street to go to the park. Everything looks so green and calmed and alive, he needs that. So he walks, he walks almost possessed. When he sets a foot on the park he feels the relax, more relax? A little relax? He thinks is crazy to relax in this moment because he should be looking for Kyungsoo. 

–

So theres something very interesting about his hands, Kyungsoo focuses on his hands and he starts to see more images mixed with the ones he already saw. He remembers that night, he remembers even how Zitao smellt, the weight on him, the pain, the pleasure. He also remembers the firts time he saw Zitao after all of those years, he even remembered the thoughts he had – that Zitao looked like a fine grown man, a full man – and then the night in which he saw Jia, he remembered her name, the disapointed look on Jongdaes eyes. He also remembered that day, him running after his baby, how he was smiling because he knew he had her, but no, then black out.

He alow himself a smile, he actually remembers. But yet he felt desoriented, how he git there, he had been in a hospital that was a fact. Where is the hospital? Was it behind him? To the side? Should he ask someone? He wants to speak but he doesnt seem to be able to articulate words, he decides to stay put and calmed a little, take a little more time. He breathes the aire deeper, feels the freshness.

–

What the hell else to do? He looks around and he remembers all the times Kyungsoo had been in dangeraous situations like this and he wonders how much is his fault. If that night hadnt happend what wouldve happen? Maybe kyungsoo wouldve get a nice man, an intelligent one, a smart sensitive guy who could understand his art and his talent. He doesnt know, someone better than him, someone who couldve actually take care of him. But he thinks of their kids and he can not imagine a better life, even if none of their lives had been really better, like the kids only know one crazy kind of life. The life that their father had given them...

He shakes his head, these thoughts are not helping.

Where the hell is Kyungsoo? He looks around again, not really looking, but thinking. Just where the hell is Kyungsoo? He couldnt go that far, he is wearing a pajama people mustve seing him, right? Yes the city is hell and theres a whole bunch of freaks but SOMEONE mustve think that it is weird to see a man in a pajama maybe looking lost?

So he starts to move around the park, because for some reason Zitao doesnt think that he took to the ridht or the left, he thinks that Kyungsoo mustve want to feel save and the park....well it looks safe and relaxing. So yes he keeps walking around.

–

“I dont know where is he. He was here a moment ago”, Sehun says and he is exhausted. Its been like 45 minutes since they arrived. Joonmyeon just told his father that Zitao is in some office talking to someone, not lost, like Kyungsoo. “He is not answering his phone either.... damn it”. Joonmyeon listens to his boyfriend unable to say anything. They, just like most the people in the place, dont know what to do.

–

Theres something on Zitaos face and he thinks is a bug, but no, is a tear. He is crying and walking around a park and about to feel totally desperate, but he keeps walking and searching because is the ing least he can do. He is sniffing and cleaning his face with his sleeve when he sees a familiar back of a neck. And, oh God, his legs almost give in on him. But he recovers and starts to jog and then he is just plain running and callig out, no, screaming for him.

“Kyungsoo!!”

–

Kyungsoo hears it far, like a dream or like the noise of the wind. But then he turns, and he sees him, and he remembers him. He remembers him like in high school, with rays of sun comming out of his head and his eyes, those eyes of curious eyes trying to not mistake his korean, and then as he gets closer he remembers Tao the man. The man who put him to bed on their first meet, the one that took him for all he was on his living room couch. The last is Tao the dad, Tao with their kids all over him  playing and smiling and feeding them in the middle of the night.

That man running towards him is his man, his love, he remembers him, the feelings and the butterflies are back on his stomach. So yes, he stands up and runs to him, because he knows him, his face, his eyes, his body, he knows this man. So he runs to him because he just realised where is he, what country and what city this is. He knows, he knows! In the run he founds his smile and laughter and he founds his voice.

“Zitao!”

He finally founds him and he knows who this is, he knows who he is and more important, he knows where he is.

He is finally home.

-------

Thank you for all your love. Im sorry this took so long. Please let me know if you can see this. I apologize for all the mistakes.