Zitao wakes up with a sour taste in his mouth, maybe is the taste of betrayal, maybe it was just the alcohol. He is already to old to let himself go like this. His head is turning around when his bed starts to move.

"Good morning", a familiar voice says.

"Hi", he says serious. Hen Li sighs and starts to get up, to leave, he doesnt stop him this time. "Im sorry", is all he can say as a good bye line.

---------------

When Sehun comes to visit him, by his request, he looks like mess, so much that his friend fears the worst. Zitao cant stop crying, hiccuping, shaking. Sehun just holds onto him, is to much, its been to much.

"Im so sorry", he cries out.

"You are only human..."

"He will hate me..."

"I dont think thats possible"

-------------------

When he goes to pick up his babies Junsu and Mr Park cant deny that they didnt see his face, the swollen red eyes, the pail skin. Mister Kim decides to act like a father.

"Zitao, you know that I care for you like a son right?", Tao nods and fears that his father in law knows. "Son...dont you think that is been to long? To much?"

"What are you saying?"

"The doctors...they talked to me yesteday...They think that we should start to think about...", he pauses and takes a deep breath. "...letting Kyungie go", he lets the air escape his lips. Zitaos eyes start to water again.

"Nno...", he says weakly.

"You are young son, your babies need a family, a complete one. Maybe you should start to think about that and about moving..."

"No", he says firmly.

"I wont judge, nobody can judge you. You have the right too, to have love, to be loved..."

"Kyungsoo loves me"

"Yes, but...he...you know that as the time goes, his condition...", he breaks again and he is to tall for Junsus hold but he contorts into a ball and cries out his pain again.

-----------------

He doesnt dare to look at Hen Li in the eyes again, he doesnt dare to go to the hospital either. He wants to clear his mind, he spends a lot of time with the girls. He also thinks about what the doctors told Junsu. He wonders if this is what Kyungsoo wouldve want, what in general he wouldve want. Would he like to continue his existance like this or not?

What is he gonna do next? Later, after, where will he go? Is to heavy on the soul, just to much.

----------------

Is this a dream or a memory?

Kyungsoo is back at the schools hall, stanting there, tiptoeing on the gyms door to see Tao train. But theres something different this time: the chinese boy turns and sees him, he smiles at him, the light of the sun shines on his head. He calls him with a gesture of his hand. "Come, enter", he says and Kyungsoo pushes the door, hard, and runs to his arms. The martial artist catches him and presses him against his chest. Kyungsoo basks on the warmth and the softness of Taos tshirt. And smiles peacefully.

"Lets go Im tired of being here", the chinese student says. Kyungsoo nods. And its weird, well  just like most dreams, because Kyungsoo can see the two of them walking out the gym door and into more light.

---------------

Its the midle of the morning, today its been bussy, is not always like this. Many people came to inform them selves about classes and prices. For Zitao, these days, work is just one more load, something more that he was to bare with. He is not enjoying anything anymore, theres anger setting almost permantly on his heart. Maybe he is in this stage of grief, who knows. He sighs and swears that if the phone rings just one more time....And then it does and he has to take a really deep breath to pick up and not kill the person on the other side of the line.

"Mister Hwang please?"

"This is he"

"Im Minah, from the hospital", the voice is gentle but the words sounding from it are far to strong, to strong to keep him on his feet, to strong to keep him from crying like a child on the floor under the look of his students and clients, to strong for life to keep going the way that it was.