"Im not angry but...do you realize that our babies are gonna be one year soon?I really would like it if you wake up. I know that is not up to you but....", he sighs. "Is just so hard with out you".

Zitao is tired, he hugs a "dead body", Kyungsoo is so limp that he feels like a corps at time. Tao doesnt like to think like that but it is what it is. And is not fair, first with Gia he knew what he wanted and what was comming, then she betrayed him and left him there in the out with a life to put together, then he found Kyungsoo and in the mist of life it self they fell in love, yes that much was also the truth, and he thought: "Hey maybe now I get to be happy". He was about to become a father. Then this happend, and parenthood became the most traumatizing thing he ever experienced. He couldnt even enjoy anything, the way his babies are growing, the way life is playing now is really half a nightmare or maybe a complete nightmare if you have to remind yourself to be happy about something.

It was hard sometimes, there were days that he woke up like nothing, as if life was normal: breakfast, work, babies. But there were other days that he actually missed Kyungsoo and felt sorry because he hadnt had the oportunity to be father with him, to be a family together. There are moments that he actually wonders if he is doing it right, if Kyungsoo would agrie with some choices he made for their girls: from clothes, to room desings, the food they eat. He is tired because his life, just like Kyungsoos, is paused. He cant make plans for the future, he doesnt even know if his finace will be healthy even after he wakes up. The doctors had told him a million things, from being prepare to pull the plugg to being prepare to find that Kyungsoo cant talk or move, even if he understands, and to the posibillity that he might not remember a thing. Its stupid, nobody can actually be "prepare" for that. He is only ready to see Kyungsoo open his eyes and get their lives back in track, other posibilities are just useless to think about.

He is positive but sometimes life is just to much, the pain, the wait, the responsabilities. Sometimes he just needs a drink and lock himself to cry on his living room. No, he doesnt pitty himself, he doesnt have anyone to blame so he just lets the stress go flowing with the tears.

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The bar is near his house, of course, the girls are with their grandparents. Is just a bottle of soju, or many, it doesnt matter, is what most people do. Get drink, ease the pain, keep living. He is almost sleeping over the bar, who knows how he drinks side ways, but he does. Theres a pat on his back, its the bartenther hand.

"We are about to close", he informs but Zitao can only look at him as if he was a three year old not understanding. "I can call a cab or someone to pick you up", he explains. Tao moves his mouth like he wants to say something but another voice stops him.

"He is my friend, I know where he lives. Ill take him".

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Hen Li has a hard time trying to walk Zitao to their building afew blocks down, his neigbourgh is taller and smells like the soju factory, he keeps whispering "thank yous". Hen Li smiles about it.

"Ok stand here a moment. Do you remember the code? Have the key with you?"

"Mhm...nnno"

"No what? Aish, ok let me check"

"Mhm". The keys were in his pocket along with other keys.

"Ok ready, can you walk inside?", he said as he held the door open. Zitao tried a step and almost fell. "Yeah you cant...let..me...take you to your room", another really hard task. "There, all set. Im leaving now, stay like this, to the side...", Hen Li was turning Zitaos head when the guy caught him by the shoulders.

"Wait...ssstay".

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A/N: till the last days of march I will try to update and/or finish as much stories as I can. After that I will move to another country so I dont know when, or if, I can comeback to this account. Thank your for undestanding and for waiting for me.