He thought that he was gonna feel guilty, like guilty. But no, he doesnt, he feels lighter, better. To be honest its the girls he is thinking about, even if he wanted it to be in another way, this is what he gets and is not good for the babies. Its time to admit that the girls have only one parent, who is Zitao. Also is time to admit that even if everybody wanted, Kyungsoo cant recover from one day to another, he cant be who he was, at least not right now and nobody really knows if he will ever be. So right now, the father is him, the only father is him. He doesnt feel guilty for doing whats right for the girls.

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Kyungsoo doesnt really feel any different about Tao. He feels bad because he feels like he let his father down, thats the only thing that he feels bad about. Zitao is another thing, nothing has change for him, he loves Zitao even if he knows that the other will never love him back. That, in his mind, havent changed. So he doesnt feel bad for that, how many nights has he cry for him already? In this world they even have kids together so...

He feels better though, theres no pressure on him anymore, the girls come home everyday and they are with him. Every day he learns more about them, about to take care of them, maybe about to be a father. He feels good with them, they make him feel happy. He cant be the older boyfriend, he is not. He is doing therapy and taking his meds, he thinks he will get better, or maybe find a new Kyungsoo.

--------------------

Life keeps going, theres nothing that he can do about it. Right now life says that Kyungsoo must have a killer flu and be in bed for, at least, 24 hours. The medication makes him sleepy and he is angry because Mister park doesnt let him get any close to the babies. He is mostly sleeping or sleepy in bed all they.

Tao is there to get the girls. He goes to see Kyungsoo, but he is asleep. The room looks like a teenagers room, with poster, figurines, polaroids. There are a lot of pictures of the babies, that makes Zitao smile. There are pictures of Baekhyun and Jongdae, Chanyeol, everybody. No pictures of Tao though. Its been almost four month since they stoped trying to go back to what they were. Kyungsoo looks very innocent there sleeping. Zitao sighs, when the hell will this over?

--------------------

When he goes down stairs, theres Luhan and Minseok, who brougt their child to play with the babies, so Tao stays a little longer. Luhan goes to talk to him alone.

"Have you seen Kyungsoo?"

"Yes, but he is sleeping"，Luhan nods.

"He is the same as he was in his teen years...", Luhan smiles warmly. "Do you remember?"

"No, not really. I dont think I can say that I knew him at that time"

"I did. And...I was there you know?", he sounds misteious. Zitao perks up. "I know...what happend", those words weight to much. Zitao only keeps staring at him. "My brother told me...he was a child too, it was to much for him", he drinks his wine. "Im not judging you", he clarifies. "I just wanted to tell you some things that I know and that I know that you dont know". Zitao braces himself because everytime people says that they are not gonna judge him they are about to do just that. "I just....After the episode he had a couple of good years, but he was under treatment, he had episodes of depression, severe ones. He wouldnt eat nor get up. It was a nightmare for the family. Then he was fine, he started college but the pressure sometimes was to much for him and ...well, he would fall down again. He had a time of selfhurting, so much the he ended up in the hospital a couple of times...It was heartrbreaking", Tao was bitting his lips. "Im not saying that that was your fault, you are a good person and Im sure that you didnt have it eassy either. But...through out those years he never mention your name, he never told anybody your name, he still thinks that my brother is the only one that knows. So, so I think that at least you own him respect, enough respect to tell him that you want out, that you want to re start your life with somebody else, that you dont love him, he must be 16 years of mental age but he will understand you...he had always understood you. I think you owe him that".

--------------------------

At home he watches his babies sleep, they look like Kyungsoo. Luhan is right, he has to get his together, at least for the kids, its already enough that Kyungsoo is already ed up at the head.

He sends a text message.

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Hen Li just open the door to Zitaos house, that how close they are, thats how much trust theres in their relationship. But what is their relationship, Zitao is not blind he has an idea of what Hen Li wants and he would be a hypocrite if he denies that sometimes he had wanted too. But still....and is not about guilt, responsability or pitty, is about something else. Is about that invisible thread that united them years ago, that made them go from tragedy to happiness, to sadness, to having kids together. Its about them, only them and anybody else.

"Whats happening you look...somber?", he smiles that gentle smile of his.

"No, its...I think we need to have a talk....about us"

"Ok", Hen Li sits better in his place.

"Well. I dont...I know that we dont have a friendship....Im not stupid, I have missled you and Im sorry. I missled myself... Im sorry, I cant correspond..."

"I know...", he smiled again. "I know. It was also wrong of me to...stay. Ive always known your heart. You have the right and the responsability to fight for your family. We can still be friends, Im gonna need some time though", he said shyly.

"Do whatever you need. Is really the only thing I can give you...Im really thankfull for your help. I wish that my stupidity wont drive you away because my kids love you"

"I love them too".

---------------------

So what now? Now....he follows his heart and stops listening to his tired brain. His burntout mind? The house is peacefull, the girls are already some month past their first birthday. So so much time since Kyungsoo is this way. He will fight one more time, for the babies, for Kyungsoo against a life that keeps giving them half happinesses, half good moments, that for every good news brings millions of bad ones. He will fight one more time, for as long as he can and time wont stop him, he will fight now. He will grow up, he will stop being that teenager scare of himself, he will stop being a guy with two babies and will start to be a father, he will stop being the fiance and start being the husband. And he will put his together, for good.